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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27564751">Against the Odds</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/LB0917/pseuds/LB0917'>LB0917</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Pentatonix, Superfruit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, I'm Sorry, M/M, Poor Scott, Rape/Non-con Elements, Smattering of ships, as usual, brief scolex</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 19:55:06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>59</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>122,724</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27564751</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/LB0917/pseuds/LB0917</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Servus Corporis Homonium (AKA: Sécor, pronunciation SAY-core): </p><p>Sécor is a race of sub-humans, created by a team of Russian scientists led by world renowned Doctor Igor Kuznetsov in 1943. Well ahead of their time, these scientists were the first to genetically engineer a species nearly identical to humans.</p><p>Origin:  Sécor is an abbreviation of the Latin term for the species: Servus Corporis Homonium (Translation: Bodily Slave of Men). The purpose of this genetic engineering experiment is still unclear, however there is one prominent hypothesis: To provide sexual pleasure to Russian soldiers and the elite during, and in the decade following, World War II.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>37</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Sécor</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Ok, so I'm putting this out as a feeler. The idea came to me earlier today and I want to know if it'll be worth it to continue (as I finish my other stories as well, of course!)</p><p>The idea of this chapter is to be an introduction into my AU. It's full of jargon and information... but don't worry, the story would fully begin in the next chapter, but I may refer to parts of this chapter as reminders.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Doctor Rick Hoying left the encyclopedia open on the dining room table, turned open to the page that he had been mulling over for nearly two hours. He wrung his hands together, willing himself to take this plunge as he glanced back at the page.</p>
<p>
  <b>
    <strong>Servus Corporis Homonium (AKA: S</strong>
  </b>
  <b>
    <strong>écor, pronunciation SAY-core):</strong>
  </b>
</p>
<p><b><strong>S</strong></b><b><strong>écor</strong></b> is a race of sub-humans, created by a team of Russian scientists led by world renowned Doctor Igor Kuznetsov in 1943. Well ahead of their time, these scientists were the first to genetically engineer a species nearly identical to humans.</p>
<p><em>Origin</em>:</p>
<p>Sécor is an abbreviation of the Latin term for the species: Servus Corporis Homonium (Translation: Bodily Slave of Men). The purpose of this genetic engineering experiment is still unclear, however there is one prominent hypothesis: To provide sexual pleasure to Russian soldiers and the elite during, and in the decade following, World War II.</p>
<p><em>Characteristics</em>:</p>
<p>Sécors appear identical to humans, with several core physical traits. These include light blue eyes, blond hair, and muscular stature. It is hypothesized that this selection was due in part to a mockery of the “Aryan” race of Hitler. All sécors created within the experiment were male.</p>
<p>Sécors are pansexual, and have been known to marry and procreate with females, despite their original purpose.</p>
<p>One of the most important traits of a sécor is their distinct pheromones, which may create an overwhelming sense of lust in males within close proximity. These pheromones develop during puberty, and are particularly strong when the sécor is wounded, ill. A sécor is likely to be sexually attacked when pheromones are released, and they are entirely out of the sécor’s control. Sécors are immune to sexually transmitted infections and disease.</p>
<p><em>Breaking: </em>Breaking is the physical phenomenon during which a sécor’s emotional and mental health declines rapidly while physical changes occur. Breaking occurs when a Sécor reaches their breaking threshold: the amount of times they can be sexually attacked without “breaking”. This threshold is different for each sécor, and has been known to vary between 5 and 200 times.</p>
<p>Physical changes that signal breaking include: hair turns silver and becomes more brittle, and eyes turn gray. Pheromones become stronger and sexual pleasure associated with intercourse with the afflicted sécor is significantly intensified for the human.</p>
<p>Process of Breaking: The final attack above the breaking threshold will result in one initial strip of silver hair. The breaking process progresses over the course of the following week, during which the silver hair will spread and the iris of the eyes will lose their color. The sécor will also become increasingly fatigued. Once these processes are finished, the sécor is officially “broken”. This process can be disrupted, however, if a human who is immune to the particular sécor pheromones engages in consensual sexual intercourse with the sécor. This may be difficult, as some humans believe that they are immune when they are not. This may lead to the breaking process occurring more quickly. Successful interruption of the breaking process is known as <em>fixing</em>. Once the Sécor is finished breaking, fixing them is no longer possible.</p>
<p>Mental state changes to be noted when a sécor is broken include: Depression and suicidal ideations are common within the first few weeks of a sécor breaking. Suicidal ideations lead to successful suicide in 60-80% of instances. Broken sécors are often more subdued, tired, and less likely to defend themselves against attacks.</p>
<p>
  <em>Prevalence:</em>
</p>
<p>It is estimated that 2,000 sécors were created between the years of 1943 and 1955. There are less than ten pure sécors remaining, as the rest have fallen victim to suicide associated with breaking, as well as violence towards the sécor species. Sécor DNA can be found in their offspring, and individuals tend to identify with the amount of sécor DNA within them. (i.e. 50%, 25%, etc.), but an individual can only legally be considered a sécor with 50% of their ancestry coming from the sécor species. It is hypothesized that due to the high mortality rate of the species, sécors with 50% and higher will be extinct within the next two decades.</p>
<p>
  <em>Legal:</em>
</p>
<p>Individuals with 50% sécor DNA or higher are not considered to be human, and therefore, human rights do not apply. Very little effort has been made to provide inclusivity to this population, which has accelerated their endangerment. Sécors may be traded or sold in most countries, and humans cannot be held legally responsible for the rape of a sécor. Furthermore, an increase in violence against sécors was observed in the 1980s, as owning a broken sécor was a signal of power. Possession of a sécor and the successful breaking of one is still widely held in high regard.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Rick slammed the book shut and placed his face in his hands. Bright, baby blue eyes invaded his mind from hours before.</p>
<p>“What do you think, Rick? Should we do it?” his wife’s voice broke through the kitchen.</p>
<p>“It’s going to be so <em>damn difficult.” </em>Rick replied, shaking his head, sadly.</p>
<p>“I’m willing if you are.”</p>
<p>“He’s 50%, Connie. You read just as much about this as I did.”</p>
<p>“Exactly. So, just imagine what will happen if that beautiful little boy ends up with someone else.”</p>
<p>Rick rubbed his temples, agonizing over the little face he had seen earlier. </p>
<p>“Let’s go adopt a sécor.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. We Have a Deal?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This is still part of my trial run... let me know what you think about this and I'll determine if  I should continue!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>He allowed his wife to drag him back into the orphanage, staring down at his hand latched on to hers. It was easier to focus on that than it was to look around at all of the children, with that hopeful look in their eyes.</p><p>“Dr. and Mrs. Hoying, it’s so nice to see you again,” the woman they had spoken to just the day before said, warmly, as they sat down. “I see we made an impression on you.” She rifled through her pad on her desk before speaking again. “From what I recall, you had quite a connection with little Anthony yesterday.”</p><p>Rick flinched at the thought of the little boy he had met the day before. He had brown hair, cut into a bowl cut that his wife adored. He had chocolate brown eyes. He could pass as their biological son, which Connie had gushed was a plus.</p><p>He thought of how the little boy, no more than five years old, showed him his train set, his eyes glistening with excitement. He thought of the look on his wife’s face as he hugged her legs.</p><p>Then, he thought of the sound of a crash.</p><p>He thought of how he looked up to see a small little body get thrown into a set of cubbies, his stuffed dog ripped from his hands and thrown to the top of a tall bookshelf. He thought of the boy’s whimper.</p><p>He thought of how the older boy was scolded, not for hurting the boy, but because <em>didn’t he see that they had guests?</em></p><p>He thought of how the little boy watched in wonderment as Rick approached the bookshelf, retrieving the tattered dog with ease, before squatting down in front of him, holding it out for the boy to take, gently.</p><p>He thought of how those eyes were a nearly unnatural shade of blue, big and bright, and welling up with tears.</p><p>He thought of the little mop of blond hair on the boy’s head, a tangled mess, but adorable, all the same.</p><p>He thought of the small bruises riddling the little boy’s arms as he reached out to take his little friend, which was probably his only sense of comfort in this place.</p><p>He thought of the little voice as it squeaked a small, “Thank you, sir,” and how his little lip quivered as he struggled to free himself from the cubbies and stand up on wobbly little legs.</p><p>“What’s your name, little friend?” Rick had asked, softly.</p><p>“Scott, sir,” the little boy replied, looking at his feet, nervously, as though he was afraid of getting in trouble.</p><p>“How old are you, Scott?”</p><p>The big blue eyes darted back and forth, like he was looking for someone, frantically. “I’m five, sir.” He bit his lip as an older woman came in.</p><p>“Scott, don’t bother this man. Miss Jenn is looking for you in the kitchen.”</p><p>The little blond boy looked up at Rick. “Sorry,” he nearly whispered as he retreated down a hallway, dragging the little dog by its paw.</p><p>“He wasn’t bothering me,” Rick said, his eyes narrowing.</p><p>“That one’s taken, Dr. Hoying. He’ll be picked up tomorrow or the day after. And it’s for the best… that little guy is a sécor, 50%. More trouble than he’s worth, if you ask me!”</p><p> </p><p>Rick found himself shaking the thoughts of yesterday from his mind, realizing that he hadn’t heard much of what this woman was saying.</p><p>“Actually… I was hoping that we could meet Scott again.”</p><p>“Oh, sir. I’m sorry, I don’t think that’s possible.”</p><p>“Please.”</p><p>She looked at him, sympathetically. “I know you were told yesterday that he has actually potentially found a home, and that he’s a sécor. He’s 50%, to be exact.”</p><p>“Yes, but he is still here, which means there is still a chance.”</p><p>“I suppose we can go see what the little guy is up to.”</p><p>She led them into the main recreation area, outside. It was a blacktop with some old playground equipment. Rust and chipped paint were all that Rick could see.</p><p>Anthony ran up to them almost immediately, wrapping his arms around Rick’s legs and looking up at him with excitement. He patted the boy’s back, uncomfortably, his heart breaking for the boy.</p><p>“Anthony, baby, have you seen Scott?” The woman asked, gently. The boy shook his head, looking disappointed that this family was looking for someone else. Rick fought back tears as he realized that this child appeared to know exactly what was going on.</p><p>“Scott’s inside with his potential new family,” the nasty woman from yesterday exclaimed, approaching them. Without thinking, Rick was returning inside, determined to see who these people were.</p><p>“Sir… Dr. Hoying… we try to give families privacy as they get to know…”</p><p>Rick stopped short at the entrance to the large playroom. It appeared that no one had noticed their arrival. Some children were playing in a far corner. Then, in the center, a couple was facing away from him. Someone from the adoption agency was speaking with them, and Rick saw some blond hair seated on the man’s lap. He found himself moving closer, pretending to be looking at a child on the other side of the room.</p><p>“He’s perfect, Steve. Just what you wanted,” the woman whispered, excitedly. Rick peered over the man’s shoulder. Someone had washed and combed Scott’s hair for the occasion, hoping he would be taken home today. He watched as the man placed his face against Scott’s scalp, inhaling his scent.</p><p>“He’s a beautiful little boy,” the man replied, running his hands through the blond strands. “He’ll only become more gorgeous. Right, baby boy?” Rick felt instantly uncomfortable as the man’s voice dripped with an inappropriate tone, his hands running up and down Scott’s little tummy. Scott turned to the man as though he was going to answer him, but locked eyes with Rick, instead. His eyes widened briefly with his happiness, and he waved, capturing Rick’s heart effectively.</p><p>This snapped the man out of his thoughts, and he locked eyes with Rick before quickly placing Scott on the floor, giving him a couple of light taps on his buttocks as he did so. Rick felt his hands clenching into fists.</p><p>“We’ll come back tomorrow with our completed paperwork, right, Rachel?” The man asked. His wife nodded. Rick watched as the man crouched down to Scott, cupping his cheek, affectionately.</p><p>“You’re going to be all mine tomorrow,” the man said, quietly. “Can Daddy have a kiss?”</p><p>“Sir, we don’t allow that,” the woman interjected. Anger flashed across the man’s face as he continued to stroke the boy’s cheek.</p><p>“Tomorrow, then,” He grumbled. He grabbed his wife’s arm and retreated out the door.</p><p>“We would like to begin the adoption process,” Rick loudly said, grabbing Connie’s hand and leading her towards the woman from the agency. She abandoned her look of disgust towards Scott and her features softened as she looked at them.</p><p>“That’s fantastic. For whom will this process be occurring?” She said, clapping her hands together.</p><p>“Anthony,” the woman behind them started, the sound of which was drowned out by both of the Hoyings’ voices, which chorused, “Scott.” He squeezed his wife’s hand in thanks, as they were met with silence. The bright blue eyes widened below them, darting back and forth between all of the adults.</p><p>“I’m Scott,” the little boy said, pointing to himself. Rick could basically feel his wife turning to putty next to him over this little one. Connie knelt down, slowly, taking the boy’s hands in her own.</p><p>“Yes, you are,” she replied, smiling as softly as possible. “Would you like to be a little family with us? We promise we will take great care of you, and your doggie, too,” she smiled at the little tattered dog that had been dropped on the floor.</p><p>“Sorry, Dr. and Mrs. Hoying. Scott is already… spoken for…”</p><p>“Have they signed anything?”</p><p>“Not yet, but –“</p><p>“Then we will sign first. I’m sure that happens all the time. We will take him immediately. We have all of our paperwork filled out, background checks, references, everything. It will be quick.” Rick said, trying to sound as confident as possible. The ladies looked unsure.</p><p>Then, it clicked.</p><p>“What are they paying you?”</p><p>Their eyes widened. Rick’s skin crawled. Technically, selling the boy was legal, according to Rick’s research, but that didn’t stop the bile from rising in his throat.</p><p>“We’ll double it,” Connie replied, standing.</p><p>“Ma’am, that would be $100,000.”</p><p>“So, we have a deal?”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>To continue or not to continue? I'm not used to AUs...</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. First Grade</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>So this story is posted on AO3 and Wattpad. AO3 is giving me some love for this story, so I've decided to continue it!  I hope you enjoy. Please let me know what you think. Your comments and votes/kudos make my day!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“You’re going to have a great first day, my love. You’ll make plenty of new friends.”</p><p>“New friends?” a little voice asked, quietly.</p><p>“Yes, honey. Lots of them.”</p><p>“I don’t have old friends.” Scott replied, looking out the window from the backseat of the car. Connie sighed, pulling up in front of the elementary school.</p><p>At least Scott wasn’t entering the school mid-year. The fact that it was the first day for all students put Connie’s mind at ease. This was as even of a playing field as Scott might ever see.</p><p>They indeed brought Scott home on that fateful day. It hadn’t been the plan to move forward that quickly, but the minute they saw the other couple interact with the boy, they knew they had to save him. So, they brought him home in July, and fell in love with him somewhere within the first 48 hours. He was sweet and gentle, loving and innocent.</p><p>“What do I do?” Scott asked, peeking his head between the front seats to lean in closer to her, looking unsure. The door opened, and a friendly man leaned down to look into the car.</p><p>“Welcome to Arlington West Elementary School! Come on, little man! We’re gonna have a great first day!” Quick introductions were made, and Scott leaned forward and pecked Connie on the cheek.</p><p>“Don’t worry about me, okay?” he asked, and her heart melted. He hopped out of the car, taking the man’s outstretched hand, allowing him to walk him into the building. She watched as Scott looked up at the man with those big blue eyes, and she watched as the man looked adoringly down at him as they chatted.</p><p>“Alright, little man, here’s your class. You have Miss Findlay. She’s very nice. Have a great day, okay?”</p><p>“Thank you, sir.” The man looked down at him, shocked at his etiquette.</p><p>“Call me Mr. McGinty, okay? I teach fifth grade, so maybe I’ll get to hang with you in a few years.” He smiled and parted with Scott, leaving him staring into the threshold of the classroom, alone.</p><p>“Are you in this class, too? Why aren’t you going inside? Come on! Let’s be friends!” the little girl spoke so quickly, Scott couldn’t answer her if he wanted to. She grabbed his hand and yanked him through the door.</p><p>“Are you Miss Findlay?” the little girl nearly shouted as she stood at the front of the class. The teacher was crouched next to a small boy, crying in his seat. She stood, slowly, to acknowledge her two additional students.</p><p>“That’s me!” she said with a warm smile.</p><p>“I’m Kirstin. But I don’t like that name. I make Mommy and Daddy call me Kirstie. It sounds more like a princess name.” Kirstie smiled and dropped Scott’s hand, crossing her arms over her chest in victory. “And this is… my new friend! But he doesn’t talk, so I don’t know his name.”</p><p>“I do, too. You just didn’t let me!” Scott smiled, feeling happier than he had in a long time. “My name is Scott. And I don’t mind my name.”</p><p>Ms. Findlay approached both of them, and held out her arms. They embraced her for a hug.</p><p>“It’s very nice to meet you, Kirstie and Scott. Guess what? I have you two sitting together, over here!” Kirstie squealed and grabbed Scott’s hand again, leading him to the table.</p><p>He liked this Kirstie girl. She made him feel safe. And he liked this place, too.</p><p>The students were unpacking their backpacks with their school supplies, when Scott noticed that the little boy from earlier was still crying. He searched through his backpack, pulling out a pencil case. He approached the other boy, slowly.</p><p>“Are you okay?” Scott asked, trying not to scare the boy. His classmate sniffled, wiping his brown eyes frantically.</p><p>“I miss… I miss my mommy, is all…” the boy whispered, fearfully.</p><p>“Is she picking you up today?’ Scott asked, smiling gently.</p><p>“No… I h- have to take the… the bus…”</p><p>“And then when you get home, she’ll be there.” Scott stated, lightly. The boy nodded, the glimmer of a smile gracing his lips. “And while you’re here, I can keep you company,” Scott added, shrugging, still clutching his pencil case to his chest.</p><p>“Like… like a friend?” the boy asked. Scott’s eyes lit up. He had always wanted a friend.</p><p>“Yeah, exactly. A friend.”</p><p>“I would like that. I’m Mitch,” the boy sniffled.</p><p>“I’m Scott,” Scott replied, unable to stop grinning. He opened his pencil box, and withdrew a sparkly blue pencil. “And this is my favorite pencil that I got just for school. The others are cool, but this one is <em>really cool.” </em>Mitch nodded enthusiastically in agreement, wiping the last of his tears away. “It reminds me of you.” Scott added. “So, since you’re my friend, I want you to have it.” He pushed it into his new friend’s hands. Before he knew it, he was wrapped in a tight hug.</p><p>“Thank you for being my friend,” Mitch said, happily before releasing him.</p><p>Miss Findlay watched the interaction from across the room, smiling softly at the kindness of her new, blond student.</p><p>At lunch, Scott sat next to his new friends. He smiled to himself at the fact that not only did he have one friend now, but that he had made two on his first day.</p><p>“You have the prettiest eyes I’ve ever seen. Just like a princess!” Kirstie said as she took a bite of her sandwich. Scott blushed.</p><p>“I can’t be like a princess. I’m a boy.”</p><p>“I want to be a princess…” Mitch said, softly.</p><p>“Can boys be princesses?” Scott asked.</p><p>Kirstie looked thoughtful for a minute. “Mommy says that boys and girls can be whatever they want to be.”</p><p>“My mommy says that, too.” Mitch said, wistfully. They turned to look at their new blond friend. “What about your mommy? Does she say that too?”</p><p>Scott took a bite of his sandwich. “I… don’t really know. I just met my mommy.”</p><p>Kirstie’s mouth fell open, dramatically. “She’s your mommy. You came out of her tummy, silly.”</p><p>“Oh,” Scott replied. “No… that mommy died.” He stabbed his juice box with his straw. He glanced up to see his friends staring sadly at him.</p><p>“Did… did you know her, ever?” Kirstie asked.</p><p>“Yeah. She died a year ago, when I was four.” He held up four fingers.</p><p>“Your daddy must have been so sad.”</p><p>“No, he wasn’t.” Scott shook his head. “He’s the one who did it.” Scott’s slurping of his juice box filled the silence. “And then he made himself die, too, so now I have a new mommy and daddy.” More slurping, followed by a heart-wrenching sob. Scott would have been surprised by the noise, if it hadn’t come from his own throat.</p><p>“What happened?” a familiar voice cut through the air. Scott could tell, even with his head against his folded arms on the table, that it was Mr. McGinty. He couldn’t bring himself to answer, as sobs took over his body and the tears soaked his sleeves. A large hand was on his back now, rubbing soft circles there.</p><p>“He misses his mommy and daddy,” Mitch said, softly, sounding as though he might start crying, himself.</p><p>“It’s okay, little man. You’ll see Mommy soon.”</p><p>“She died,” Kirstie announced, and was promptly kicked in the shin by Mitch. “Ow…” she pouted.</p><p>“Come here, buddy, let’s go for a walk,” Mr. McGinty took Scott’s hand in his firm grip, and led him into the hall. Scott knew that if he looked up, he would be met with stares from the entirety of the first grade. His sadness promptly turned to embarrassment.</p><p>Mr. McGinty led him into a small alcove outside of the cafeteria, and crouched on his knees much like he had in the morning. Scott was rubbing his eyes frantically.</p><p>“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it,” Scott’s little voice muttered. He looked at Mr. McGinty, and the teacher could feel his heart clench painfully in his chest.</p><p>“What are you sorry for, little man? Scott, right?” Scott nodded, clearly attempting to hold himself together. “Anyway, there’s nothing to be sorry for. Everybody gets sad sometimes.”</p><p>“I’m not supposed to talk about my mommy and daddy. Not the real ones. That’s what they told me.”</p><p>“What who told you?”</p><p>“The ladies at the orphanage. They said it makes people think I’m w-weird.”</p><p>Mr. McGinty reached out to grab Scott’s hand again. “You are not weird, Scott. I promise. You are very brave.”</p><p>Scott’s eyes widened. Mr. McGinty worried that he had said something wrong. “No one has ever called me <em>brave, </em>before.”</p><p>He pulled the boy into a soft hug as the boy smiled. When he pulled away, he found himself unsettled by his bright blue eyes. They were… unnatural.</p><p>But there was no way…</p><p>Was there?</p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I got a bit further in this story. I'm up to where he's 15 at this point, and let me just apologize in advance for how dark this gets. ((Backs away, slowly))</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Sixth Grade</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>And now we are in sixth grade! He may seem a year too young for the grade he's in, but that's because he is a September birthday. I'm not sure about Texas, but in New York our cutoff is December 1st, so in sixth grade, Scott would just turn 11.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>He was in sixth grade when Scott started to realize that something was wrong. He boarded the bus and threw himself down in the seat next to his best friend.</p><p>“Happy First Day of School, Scooter!” Mitch exclaimed. “I’m glad we have McGinty… he’s pretty cool. What were the odds that he would be transferred to the middle school?” Scott nodded as an eighth grader sauntered down the aisle of the bus, knocking into Scott’s shoulder.</p><p>“Sorry, weirdo,” the boy’s voice was lower than Scott’s. He sat in the seat behind them, and placed a hand on Scott’s shoulder, rubbing it. Another boy snickered. Scott tried to shrug his hand off of his shoulder. The grip tightened.</p><p>“What’s wrong with you, anyway?” The boy leaned forward, speaking softly into his ear.</p><p>“Don’t touch me,” Scott grumbled.</p><p>“No… I’m allowed to touch you all I want. Because I’m pretty sure I know what you are.” The other boy snickered again.</p><p>“You sound like an idiot.” Scott growled. The hand tightened painfully on his shoulder again.</p><p>“Okay, blue eyes. Now I have to fuck you up for calling me names.”</p><p>Then, everything went black.</p><p>That hadn’t been the best start to the school year that Scott had ever experienced. Originally, he had left out some important information regarding what exactly had happened. He also swore Mitch to secrecy, not wanting everyone to know how weird the eighth grader thought he was. He was on edge for the rest of the week, particularly the day before his new enemy was returning from his suspension.</p><p>“Mr. McGinty, can I talk to you?” Scott asked, hovering in the doorway as the rest of the class rushed to lunch. Mr. McGinty looked up at him from his desk, and Scott didn’t miss the flinch that he emitted upon looking at Scott’s black eye.</p><p>“Shoot, little man.”</p><p>Scott rushed to a seat from the front row of desks, and sat down, sighing and trying to compose himself enough to let this conversation begin. He had always trusted Mr. McGinty, throughout his years of elementary school. He knew that this man cared for him, so this was his best chance of figuring out what was going on.</p><p>“You know Jason?” Scott asked, avoiding eye contact.</p><p>“Yes, I know Jason. Are you worried about him coming back to school? Because we are going to make sure he doesn’t bother you again.”</p><p>“It’s not that…” Scott began, and Mr. McGinty tensed. Scott began to worry that he was making the man uncomfortable. “Never mind.”</p><p>“No. Scott, go ahead.”</p><p>“He said something to me that was… odd.” He watched Mr. McGinty become tense again, as he listened. “He said… he said he was <em>allowed </em>to hurt me.”</p><p>“Well that’s not true, because he was suspended.”</p><p>“That’s not what I mean… he said he knows what I am.”</p><p>Mr. McGinty felt a lump forming in his throat.</p><p>“Mr. McGinty, what did he mean? What am I?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Mr. McGinty rifled through his student files after Scott left, with a pit in the center of his stomach as he retrieved Scott’s contact information. Sighing, he dialed his home number.</p><p>“Hello? Connie speaking.”</p><p>“Mrs. Hoying, this is Mr. McGinty, Scott’s teacher.”</p><p>He heard a deep breath on the other end of the line. “Is Scott okay?”</p><p>“Yes, yes he is. I’m so sorry if I worried you. I just wanted to touch base about something.”</p><p>Another deep breath, this time it was one of relief. “Of course. How can I help you?”</p><p>“Scott filled me in a bit further about his… run-in on the first day of school. He asked me a question that I wasn’t sure how to answer.”</p><p>“Okay…”</p><p>“Mrs. Hoying, he told me that the boy on the bus told him that he was allowed to hurt him because he knew what he is. Then he asked me what that meant.” There was silence on the line. “I have my… assumptions of my own, Mrs. Hoying.”</p><p>“I don’t think it’s any of your business <em>what he is</em>, Mr. McGinty. He’s a boy. That’s what he is.”</p><p>“But, Mrs. Hoying… in order to keep him safe…”</p><p>“Are you insinuating that I don’t know how to keep my child safe?”</p><p>“No, no please. That isn’t what I meant at all…”</p><p>“He’s a sécor, is that what you wanted to hear?” Her voice was wavering now, and had increased an octave.</p><p>“Mrs. Hoying… I’m so sorry to upset you. I just… it might be worth having a conversation with him about it, before he hears incorrect information, and now that he is in middle school… I’m sure you are becoming nervous as he approaches adolescence…”</p><p>“Thank you for your concern, Mr. McGinty. Have a great day.” The line clicked. He placed his head in his hands. He had hoped he had been wrong.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Scott dropped his tray on the table before flopping down on the seat across from his two friends. They looked up, startled at the sudden noise.</p><p>“You okay, Scotty?” Kirstie asked, reaching across the table to grab his apple.</p><p>“What did he mean?” Scott asked, turning to Mitch.</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“What did he <em>mean? </em>Jason. What am I?”</p><p>Mitch and Kirstie shot looks at one another.</p><p>“Scott, who knows what he was talking about. He’s a bully. He was trying to intimidate you.”</p><p>Kirstie shifted in her seat, looking uncomfortable. “What if… what if that might not be it?” She asked, slowly. The boys turned to stare at her.</p><p>“I heard my parents talking one night. You know, when we were younger? Maybe like, third grade?” Neither boy spoke, so she continued. “They were talking about you, Scott. They seemed… nervous.” Scott felt his skin prickling as his cheeks flushed. He always thought they liked him.</p><p>“What did they say? Why would Scott make them nervous?” Mitch furrowed his brows.</p><p>“My dad said he’s definitely not like us. That his eyes are too blue, that he’s too… pretty.” Scott’s cheeks burned now, as Kirstie continued. “He said he’s sure you must be… I forget the word he used. A sector? A centaur? No, not a centaur… that’s like a horse, right?”</p><p>“A sécor?” Mitch asked.</p><p>“That’s it!” Kirstie yelled, and groups around them turned to stare. “Sorry,” she mouthed to them.</p><p>“What the heck is a sécor?” Scott asked.</p><p>Mitch shook his head in reply. “I have no idea.”</p><p>“Then how did you know that word?”</p><p>“My parents have called you that, too.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Mom?”</p><p>“Hi, Scott. I didn’t hear you come in, baby.”</p><p>“What’s a sécor?”</p><p>His mother paled, as though she had seen a ghost. “Who told you about that word?”</p><p>“Mitch and Kirstie.”</p><p>Her silence was confirmation enough for Scott. He knew that, whatever a sécor was, he was one.</p><p>“Your dad will be home in an hour. Can we wait for him?”</p><p>“Why?”</p><p>“Because I don’t know how to have this conversation with you,” his mother sobbed. He was across the floor in an instant, embracing her as tightly as he could.</p><p>“I’m sorry, momma. I didn’t mean to make you cry.”</p><p>She held onto him as tightly as she could. At 11 years old, her was already her height. She wanted desperately to stop time. He was growing far too fast.</p><p>An hour later, a soft knock disrupted Scott’s train of thought as he poured himself over his math homework. His father peeked his head in, his eyes rimmed with a distinct red ring. Scott felt awful all over again.</p><p>“Hi, Dad.”</p><p>His father entered the room with his mother in tow. Their faces were somber and Scott worried that he might actually have some sort of terminal illness.</p><p>“I heard you had a question today. We would like to help you to understand, okay?” Scott nodded as his dad patted a spot on the bed. He took the offered seat and his father pulled up his desk chair to face him. His mother sat next to him, grasping his hand.</p><p>“Would you like to ask me your question?” Rick’s voice was calm, but Scott could see his hands shake.</p><p>“What’s a sécor?”</p><p>“Did someone call you that?”</p><p>“Kirstie and Mitch said their parents called me that.”</p><p>Rick’s eyes and jaw clenched shut for a moment. “A sécor is kind of like a human, but different.”</p><p>“Am I one?”</p><p>“Yes.” Rick needed to rip off this band-aid.</p><p>“So… I’m not human?”</p><p>“You’re half human. Your birth mother was a human.”</p><p>“And my dad was… a sécor?” Rick nodded, sadly.</p><p>“So, I’m half a sécor. Like how Mitch is half Italian?”</p><p>“Not quite, Scott. People who are half sécor are considered to be a sécor, not a human.”</p><p>“That doesn’t seem fair. So, am I like an animal?” Scott’s voice was monotone, and his eyes were glazed over with confusion. His father’s eyes flashed with an emotion he couldn’t place, and he leaned in close.</p><p>“You. Are. Not. An. Animal.”</p><p>“Jason said he knows what I am. He says he’s allowed to hurt me.”</p><p>“You tell me if he ever says anything like that to you again.”</p><p>“Is he? Is he allowed to hurt me?”</p><p>“Some people like to hurt sécors.”</p><p>“Is that why you were afraid to tell me? Are you afraid I’m going to get hurt?”</p><p>He watched his mother nod next to him, silently.</p><p>“Did you know I was one when you adopted me?”</p><p>“Yes.”</p><p>“And you still wanted me?”</p><p>“More than anything.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>We see a snapshot of eighth grade next... unfortunately, things only get worse from here.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Eighth Grade</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>(sings) And it's aaaaaalll downhiiiiiilll from heeeeeeeeere.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Scott turned thirteen precisely one week after beginning eighth grade. He had been dreading this day since the night he found out what a sécor was. It was common for sécors to develop this… scent… by the time they hit this age.</p><p>Scott’s parents had spoken with him about how to be as safe as possible (know your surroundings, never go somewhere alone with someone, don’t be afraid to scream, you know, the usual kid stuff… <em>not), </em>but they had always failed to tell him what would happen to him if he didn’t do these things.</p><p>Would he be punched? Kicked? <em>Stabbed?</em></p><p>So, he and his friends had decided that they would do some research on the subject some time last year.</p><p>That didn’t go so well.</p><p>They were huddled around Mitch’s computer when they accidentally clicked the link.</p><p>Mitch’s eyes widened, and he dropped the mouse. “Oh my… oh my <em>God…”</em></p><p>Scott couldn’t take his eyes away from the screen. Kirstie began sobbing immediately.</p><p>On the screen was a grid of 16 thumbnails of videos that could be clicked. The thumbnails tended to include a man tied up, gagged, on their knees, or worse… and the captions were the most horrifying.</p><p>
  <b>
    <strong>
      <em>Breaking a Sécor and Making him Scream</em>
    </strong>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <strong>
      <em>Pretty Sécor Gets Destroyed While his Wife Watches</em>
    </strong>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <strong>
      <em>Sécor Torture Compilation</em>
    </strong>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <strong>
      <em>Sécor is Begging Me For It</em>
    </strong>
  </b>
</p><p>Scott finally ripped his eyes away.</p><p>“Are those… are those real videos? Or are they… are they acting?” Kirstie whispered.</p><p>“I’m afraid to look.” Scott grumbled, closing the tab. He settled for a Wikipedia search, instead.</p><p>
  <em>One of the most important traits of a s</em>
  <em>écor is their distinct pheromones, which may create an overwhelming sense of lust in human males within close proximity. These pheromones develop during puberty, and are particularly strong when the s</em>
  <em>écor is wounded, or ill. A s</em>
  <em>écor is likely to be sexually attacked when pheromones are released, and they are entirely out of the s</em>
  <em>écor’s control. Sécors are immune to sexually transmitted infections and disease.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Breaking: Breaking is the physical phenomenon during which a s</em>
  <em>écor’s emotional and mental health declines rapidly while physical changes occur. Breaking occurs when a S</em>
  <em>écor reaches their breaking threshold: the amount of times they can be sexually attacked without “breaking”. This threshold is different for each s</em>
  <em>écor, and has been known to vary between 5 and 200 times.</em>
</p><p>So, here Scott was, on the evening before his thirteenth birthday, feeling like the walls of his room were closing in.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>His mother drove him to school in the morning, trying her best to act excited for him.</p><p>“You’re a teenager. My baby is a teenager,” she said from the driver’s seat, but her voice was wavering and Scott knew that the second she dropped him off, her hysteria would begin.</p><p>He tried his best to smile at her as he leaned forward to give her a peck on the cheek, much like he had done on his first day of first grade.</p><p>“Don’t worry about me, okay?” he asked, mirroring his comment to her from that day, seven years ago. She smiled fondly.</p><p>After all, there was a chance that his pheromones hadn’t developed yet. It was only <em>common </em>that they developed on this day. That didn’t mean that they <em>had to.</em></p><p>“Your eyes look bluer.” Kirstie said quietly as she approached him.</p><p>“Thanks, Kirst, for the birthday greeting,” Scott said with a smile. He was dying inside, but he didn’t want his friends to worry.</p><p>“Hey, guys,” Mr. McGinty greeted as he walked down the hall, holding a fist out for another student to bump as he approached them.</p><p>“Hey, McGinty. It’s Scott’s birthday.” Kirstie announced. Scott elbowed her in the ribs, possibly too aggressively, and she pouted, rubbing her side. “Sorry,” she muttered.</p><p>“Happy Birthday Scott! What are you, 21?” McGinty asked, laughing. There was something else in his eyes, however, and Scott was suddenly feeling uneasy.</p><p>“Thirteen, sir,” Scott replied, and McGinty flinched.</p><p>“Well, I hope you have a wonderful birthday. You act a lot older than thirteen already… slow it down, okay?” His eyes were glossy, and Scott could finally make out the emotion.</p><p>Worry.</p><p>All went well in the morning. Social Studies and Science had both gone off without a hitch. His friends were doing a better job of keeping his birthday a secret, just in case anyone had picked up on what he was.</p><p>At lunch, however, things got weird.</p><p>Why did things always get weird at <em>lunch</em>?</p><p>Kirstie was eating Scott’s apple, again. Mitch was rambling about this new show he was obsessed with. Scott couldn’t have told you the name of it. That would have required listening. Instead, Scott just nodded politely, letting his mind wander to other things.</p><p>Suddenly, he felt a looming presence just to his right. It sat down next to him, and rubbed the small of his back, gently.</p><p>“I heard it’s your birthday,” a low whisper said. A shiver went up his spine and he turned to find the source of the hand. His name was Connor.</p><p>Scott thought back to the first day of fifth grade, when the Jason had punched him in the face. He thought back to that boy’s cronies. Connor was the one laughing at him. Connor was the only one of Jason’s cronies left. Jason and the rest had moved up to the high school.</p><p>Connor was an attractive boy, physically. He was tall and played a plethora of sports. His brown hair was always gelled into a perfect hair flip over his forehead. He had green eyes that were actually quite pretty.</p><p>If only his personality wasn’t so <em>godawful.</em></p><p>“You don’t smell any different,” the boy leaned close to Scott’s ear, and Scott leaned away.</p><p>“Jason told me you would smell like sex,” Connor growled.</p><p>“That’s fucking stupid,” Scott muttered back, trying to pry the hand off of his back. Mitch was standing now.</p><p>“Get the hell away from us,” Mitch announced, loudly enough for a small audience to form.</p><p>“Why is that fucking stupid? Has no one taken you, yet?” Connor was grinning. “Jason wants to be the first. Wanna come over after school?”</p><p>Scott stood abruptly, and turned to be face-to-face with McGinty.</p><p>“Everything okay?” McGinty asked, narrowing his eyes at Connor.</p><p>“Yep. Everything is fine. Did you know that it’s Scott’s birthday? I just invited him over for a little party.” Connor’s voice was casual as he held McGinty’s gaze, unphased.</p><p>“I didn’t know you were friends,” McGinty forced a smile. “Scott, I need to borrow you for a minute, anyway. Can you walk with me?” Scott nodded and grabbed his tray, throwing it hastily into the trash can before following along.</p><p>“You alright?” McGinty asked as soon as they had left. “What did he say to you? Did he touch you?” McGinty whispered as a few students walked by.</p><p>“Um… yes, I’m alright. He knows what I am, and yes… I guess.” Scott shrugged, trying to answer all of the man’s questions at once. McGinty lightly grabbed his bicep, pulling him into an alcove.</p><p>“Do you just want to have this conversation in your classroom, sir?” Scott asked, eyeing the students who were walking by, shooting them curious looks.</p><p>“We can’t.”</p><p>“Why not?”</p><p>“I don’t think I should be alone with you.”</p><p>And that was the day that Scott realized that no one would want to be alone with him, anymore.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>He felt like he had a disease that people were afraid of catching.</p><p>A few weeks went by and Scott had somehow managed to avoid any further interaction with Connor. He wished that this had been his only worry.</p><p>Connor had spread the word about Scott’s… condition.</p><p>The male student body had two very different ways of dealing with him after that. The first was the group of students who wanted nothing to do with him. They avoided Scott as much as possible, and looked at him with disgust. The name calling was the worst from this group. He hadn’t even kissed anyone on the mouth in his life, and yet he was being called “slut” and “whore” everywhere he went.</p><p>The second group gave him <em>too much </em>attention, grabbing him by the shoulders, wrapping their arms around his waist, and just trying to touch him any way they could. They would whisper horrible things to him, about what they wanted to do to him. Scott had no idea if they were saying these things for shock value, or if this was really what they wanted.</p><p>The girls were generally nice to him, as they had always been. He knew that most of them were only giving him attention due to crushes they had developed on him since elementary school, but these seemed to be more innocent, so he welcomed any interaction with them he could get.</p><p>Scott was getting tired. Poor Kirstie or Mitch had to walk with him everywhere he went. McGinty would escort him down the halls at times as well. He watched as the other students would go to their lockers, hell, even to <em>go pee, </em>by themselves.</p><p><em>Must be nice, </em>Scott thought. And he still wasn’t even sure if his pheromones had developed. That was the most terrifying part of this.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Someone should have told him that when his pheromones emerged, he would know. There would be absolutely no question.</p><p>He and Mitch were doing homework together, sprawled out on Mitch’s floor.</p><p>“This is so <em>freaking hard,” </em>Mitch groaned, placing his head in his hands for the tenth time in the past hour.</p><p>“I have a scientific calculator in my backpack, downstairs. Let’s just cheat a bit,” Scott said, rubbing his face tiredly. He stood up and stretched his muscles that had seized up in his uncomfortable position on the floor.</p><p>Scott made his way to the front door, and jumped when he walked directly into Mitch’s older brother, Will, who had sped around the corner.</p><p>“Sorry, dude. Didn’t see you there,” Will laughed, running one hand through his dark brown hair. Will was bigger and broader than Mitch would ever be. They were complete opposites, but Scott was thankful that, like the rest of Mitch’s family, Will had always been kind to him.</p><p>“No worries,” Scott smiled. “Didn’t know that you were home from college.”</p><p>“I got home last night. Glad I’m such great news for my little bro,” Will replied, laughing.</p><p>“Good to see you,” Scott said as he made his way past the man and down the stairs.</p><p>He rifled through his bag, annoyed when he couldn’t find what he was looking for. A hand clasped over his mouth suddenly, and his arms were trapped at his sides.</p><p>“Shhh… don’t scream.”</p><p>Scott pretended to relax within the grip, but clenched his eyes shut.</p><p>“You smell so fucking good,” Will’s voice whispered in his ear, tightening his grip around the boy.</p><p>Scott was thrown onto the couch haphazardly, hitting his head on the armrest as he landed. He began to flail his arms, wildly, trying to come into contact with any inch of the body above him that he possibly could.</p><p>He really should have taken up his parents offer to get some karate lessons.</p><p>“Shush, baby. It’s ok. This is what you were <em>made</em> for,” Will cooed, his tone a stark contrast to the aggression with which he was physically handling him. Will wrapped his hand around Scott’s throat, holding him down, while a hand snaked up his shirt.</p><p>Scott looked into the man’s eyes. They were empty. And they were terrifying.</p><p>“Will… please.” Scott choked, reaching up to grab at the hand around his throat. Will leaned down and bit Scott’s bottom lip, and Scott reflexively whimpered at the pain as Will attacked his lips in a kiss.</p><p>“Gonna make you feel so good, beautiful.”</p><p>Will’s hand moved down to the fly of Scott’s jeans, and suddenly Scott <em>really</em> couldn’t breathe.</p><p>
  <em>This is it. This is the start of it. Just pray you have a high breaking threshold.</em>
</p><p>The large hand snaked into the waistband of his jeans, as Will sucked on Scott’s neck, holding him down tightly with the weight of his body.</p><p>And then, suddenly Scott could breathe again.</p><p>Once the shock wore off, Scott realized why that was. Mitch was trying to wrestle his <em>much larger brother</em> on the floor, screaming at him.</p><p>“Will, stop looking at him. Will <em>stop looking, </em>that makes it worse!”</p><p>Will threw his brother off of him and Scott thought he was done for. Will clawed at his own hair and quickly retreated into the kitchen.</p><p>Scott zipped up his fly, staring blankly at the ceiling and trying to remember how to inhale.</p><p>“Scott. Scott look at me, are you okay?” Mitch croaked as he took his best friend’s face in his hands.</p><p>Scott couldn’t remember how to speak.</p><p>“Scott, please.” Tears were forming in the corners of Mitch’s eyes. Scott couldn’t help but let his own tears fall. Mitch pulled him upwards, into a tight hug.</p><p>Will emerged a few minutes later, as Mitch rocked Scott’s larger frame back and forth, rubbing his back and letting him cry.</p><p>“Mitch… Scott… I’m so sorry.”</p><p>There was silence and Scott knew that Mitch was killing his brother in his mind. Scott pushed Mitch away, gently, and rubbed the tears from his own cheeks.</p><p>Will came closer, and Scott could feel Mitch tense up next to him. Will knelt down in front of Scott, his eyes red-rimmed.</p><p>This wasn’t Will’s fault, at all.</p><p>“I am so sorry. I just thank God that I didn’t hurt you further.” His voice was wavering. Will placed a hand on his brother’s knee. “And I thank God for Mitch, here.” Scott certainly thanked God for his best friend, too.</p><p>Needless to say, from now on Scott wasn’t allowed to be over at Mitch’s when Will was home.</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Ninth Grade</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Ugh. I'm sorry.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Scott continued to run into the occasional close call after that afternoon. He could tell that everyone had begun to walk on eggshells around him. He even noticed a change in his own father.</p><p>It would typically happen when they were alone. Rick would be helping him with his homework, or he would be watching TV in the living room while Scott was reading. Then suddenly, Rick would rush out. It could be mid-conversation, mid-math problem, even, but Rick would stand, silently, and abruptly leave.</p><p>Scott prayed that it wasn’t what he thought it was.</p><p> </p><p>“What are you going to be?” Kirstie asked as they walked to school.</p><p>“I think I wanna be human,” Scott replied, and promptly made the noise of a drum set in a comical “ba-dum, cha,” for effect.</p><p>“That’s not funny.” Kirstie said, frowning.</p><p>“Sorry. I don’t know. A ghost? Just put a sheet over my head and cover it in cologne so no one can smell me?” Scott tried, again.</p><p>“Also not funny.”</p><p>“Fine. Werewolf?”</p><p>Kirstie nodded in approval. “That could be cool.”</p><p>“Honestly, I might not go to the Halloween party, though,” Scott reasoned out loud.</p><p>“You can’t hide from the world, babe. You gotta live a little.”</p><p>“Yeah, but I’d rather live safely. Call me crazy.”</p><p> </p><p>Scott ended up going to the party. The werewolf costume was easy. It was his normal clothes, with some stick-on sideburns and some sharp teeth.</p><p>“Be careful,” his mother said, softly, as the three kids climbed out of the car. “I’ll be back at 10.”</p><p>They entered the house of a boy in their grade. His name was Eric, and he was generally a nice guy. The house was packed with what looked like every kid in high school. Scott tensed immediately. Mitch grabbed his hand, squeezing it gently.</p><p>“I won’t leave your side, okay?”</p><p>“Hey guys! Glad you could make it. Here you go.” Eric was dressed in a toga, carrying a tray of what looked like small jello cups.</p><p>“Is it… alcohol?” Kirstie asked, scrunching her nose.</p><p>“You’re adorable,” Eric shook his head, smiling before walking away.</p><p>Scott threw the cup of jello back, swallowing and wincing. “Yup. That’s alcohol.”</p><p>“Didn’t realize it was that kind of party.” Mitch said, eyeing his own cup.</p><p>“His parents are out of town. His brother is having a party, so we just latched on for some fun,” Eric’s best friend, Brody said, coming up behind them. He placed an arm around Scott’s shoulders, with the other around Mitch. “Glad you guys could make it, straight-edges like yourselves.” He locked eyes with Scott, and Scott looked away just as it appeared that the other boy was leaning in to touch lips. “Anyway, come on. Let’s play some games.”</p><p>Scott, Mitch and Kirstie found a group of girls that looked equally out of place, so they decided that it would be best to remain with them. The party was getting sloppier as time wore on, and Scott was hyper aware of Eric’s brother’s friends, who were staring at him.</p><p>Scott ripped the stupid sideburns off of his face. They were itchy, and he felt childish with them. The teeth had already long since been discarded.</p><p>I’m gonna go see if I can get us anything to drink with no alcohol in it. Kirst, you stay with him, okay?” Mitch asked, before wandering from the group.</p><p>Mitch was on his way back when he noticed his shoe was untied. Juggling three cups in his hand was hard enough without having to tie his shoe.</p><p>A gravelly voice laughed. “Let me help you.” Mitch looked up to lock eyes with one of Jason’s friends. He was devastatingly handsome, Mitch couldn’t deny that.</p><p>“Oh, thank you,” he muttered, and the older boy held out his hands. “Dominic, right? You’re a junior?” The boy nodded, taking Mitch’s three cups. Mitch bent down to tie his shoe, springing up happily a moment later. “That was very nice of you.”</p><p>“How about I walk these back to your friends with you? You take this one,” he held one out for the small brunette, who took it readily, “And I got these two. Who are they going to?” he asked as they walked. Mitch pointed towards his friends, and Dominic offered a cup to Kirstie, then to Scott.</p><p>“Scott, nice to see you, buddy,” Dominic said, smiling. Scott gave him a small smile in return, cursing Mitch in his mind for bringing any of Jason’s friends anywhere near him, regardless of how attractive they were. Scott sipped at his cup, trying to figure out why this kid wasn’t leaving.</p><p> </p><p>Suddenly, Scott was on his back. It was dark, and he could feel the mattress beneath him.</p><p>“Wh-“ Scott began to yell, but a hand clasped over his mouth, just as a similar hand had done a year ago.</p><p>Scott felt dizzy, like he had been pulled into an undertow, and he couldn’t figure out which way was up.</p><p>“It’s okay, baby. It’s the drugs. Roofies, gorgeous, to help you relax. You’re fine. You’ll enjoy this.”</p><p>Dominic.</p><p>Scott tried to spring upwards from the bed, but his body felt like it was being weighed down.</p><p>“Fuck, he came to? I needed him unconscious.” Another voice sounded. Scott knew who it was immediately: Jason. “James, Nick, hold him down.”</p><p>Hands pushed against his chest and arms, which was redundant, since he couldn’t make his brain work well enough to move his limbs, anyway.</p><p>A pounding on the door made them all jump.</p><p>“Let me in! Please stop! Please, we’ll do anything. Please don’t hurt him. God…” Mitch’s voice broke into sobs as the knocking continued.</p><p>“Dom, go take care of that,” Jason ordered, licking his lips as his eyes trailed along Scott’s clothed frame. “Nick, strip him.”</p><p>The door opened and shut, and the noises from outside stopped. Scott closed his eyes, praying that Mitch and Kirstie hadn’t been hurt, as his shirt was ripped over his head and his fly was unzipped.</p><p>He heard his jeans hit the floor, unceremoniously, and he resented those damn jeans for betraying him.</p><p>He heard a chorus of lustful groans as the older boys gazed at him in the dark, and he decided that he simply couldn’t open his eyes again. The mattress shifted, and he felt the warmth of a body crawl up against him. He fought against the hands pushing him down, but he was losing energy far too quickly.</p><p>“Am I gonna be your first?” Jason whispered, placing a kiss beneath Scott’s earlobe. “You’re gonna be so tight for me, aren’t you?”</p><p>A hand snaked its way beneath his thigh, pulling his leg up. “Open your pretty eyes for me…” Scott couldn’t do it. Suddenly, his face felt like it was cracked open as Jason’s hand collided with his cheek. “I said open your eyes.”</p><p>Scott opened his eyes, praying that no tears escaped them. Jason’s eyes weren’t blank and lifeless, the way that Will’s had been. He was in full control.</p><p>He felt an overwhelming fullness, and pain shot through him as Jason’s hand disappeared between his legs. He couldn’t help the groan that he released.</p><p>“Fuck, make him make that noise again,” Nick whispered.</p><p>Another finger joined the first two, spreading out within him, and Scott bit his lip to keep from making any further noise.</p><p>“He’s so fucking tight. I don’t think I’m gonna fit.” Jason’s voice was almost giddy.</p><p>Scott screamed as the fingers were instantaneously replaced with something much larger, slamming into him with more pain than he had ever felt. His back arched and he grasped at the sheets on the mattress. The fullness withdrew for a moment, and he felt like he could breathe, but it was ripped away from him as the boy above him slammed back into him. He screamed again, cursing himself when he did so. He knew that was what they wanted. Scott felt like he was being ripped open, over and over, for what felt like hours.</p><p>“Jesus. I’m gonna… Holy <em>fuck</em>.” Jason’s body convulsed slightly and he grabbed onto Scott’s hips, pumping into him frantically for a few moments before becoming completely still. Scott knew what that meant.</p><p>“My turn?” James asked, his voice dripping with lust.</p><p>
  <em>God, no. Don’t break me, not tonight.</em>
</p><p>“Hell no. Mix our cum together and shit? That’s so gay. No way, this time was mine.”</p><p>Scott could hear sobbing on the other side of the door. His heart broke for his friends, who were helplessly listening.</p><p>Jason leaned forward and placed a chaste kiss on Scott’s forehead, his hand stroking Scott’s throat in a mockingly loving manner.</p><p>“There’s nothing anyone can do about this. You can cry about it all you want. You have no rights. You have no protection. You’re nothing more than a toy.” He kissed him once more, before standing up and dressing himself. The other boys let him go, and he willed himself to move as they left, at least to cover himself up. He couldn’t do it. All his arms could do was tremble.</p><p>The door burst open a moment later, and it was shut almost immediately. Scott couldn’t look at his friends. He stared at the ceiling, trying to get his <em>damn trembling under control.</em></p><p>But he <em>hurt, </em>and he didn’t know how to make it stop.</p><p>He felt a blanket cover him, and was finally able to look Mitch in the eye.</p><p> </p><p>Scott sat on his bed the next morning, his knees to his chest, waiting for his parents to figure out what to do with him. He fiddled with a small thread that was loose on his sweatpants. He pulled, tearing a small hole right in the knee.</p><p>Amazing how a small little thing, a small little moment, could cause so much damage.</p><p>He vaguely remembered his friends dressing him and dragging him to the curb of Eric’s house. He had a foggy memory of his father erupting from the passenger seat of his parent’s car as it pulled up, picking Scott up, and placing him in the back seat. He had no recollection of anything after that.</p><p>Rick entered the room first. <em>Great, </em>Scott thought. He hadn’t seen him, yet. He sat on the edge of the bed, shoulder-to-shoulder with his son. Scott was having difficulty looking at him. He knew the look of his heartbreak would be too much.</p><p>“How are you feeling?” Rick asked. Scott knew he looked like death. He could feel the dark circles under his eyes. That drug was no joke. Scott was afraid to speak, so he simply shrugged.</p><p>“You should have let us know the second the party wasn’t what you thought it was,” Rick’s voice was quiet, but stern. Scott nodded, looking at the floor.</p><p>“Rick, that isn’t fair,” his mother’s broken voice interjected.</p><p>“It is, Con. If he had just called us and come home, none of this would have happened.”</p><p>“I didn’t know Jason was there.” Scott’s voice was soft and pleading for his father to forgive him for this. He didn’t know why he was bothering to explain himself. He knew his father was right.</p><p>“I don’t care. There was alcohol, and there were older kids. Hell, Scott, some of those guys were <em>adults, </em>if you want to get technical.”</p><p>“We didn’t drink.”</p><p>“Obviously that’s not what matters, wouldn’t you say?”</p><p>“Rick, stop it.” Connie’s voice was frantic as she reached for Scott. “This isn’t your fault, baby.” She whispered into his hair as she embraced him.</p><p>“I’m sorry I didn’t call,” was all Scott could say, before he let the tears fall and his father took him into his arms.</p><p>Scott’s Breaking Threshold: &gt;1.</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Tenth Grade, Part I</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Since I didn't post yesterday, here ya go, two chapters today! A double feature, if you will...  Please give kudos and comment if you like. Those are fun.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“This is a horrible idea.” Rick said, shaking his head.</p><p>“I think it’s nice,” Connie chimed in.</p><p>“In what world is this a good idea, Connie?”</p><p>“I don’t know. In a world where Scott wants to have a shred of normalcy in his high school career? In a world where we’ve met this boy a few times now, and in a world where this boy seems sweet and <em>unaffected </em>by our son?”</p><p>“Seeming unaffected doesn’t mean they are. This kid could be affected in a split second. Then what?”</p><p>“Oh, love, they’re going to the movies. There will be plenty of people around.”</p><p>“I just wish he would take a girl to the movies,” Rick sighed.</p><p>Connie knew what he meant, but that didn’t make her any less angry about it. Rick rolled his eyes when he noticed her glare. “You know what I mean. For his <em>safety.”</em></p><p> </p><p>The past year hadn’t been easy. Though the Halloween problem hadn’t repeated itself, it wasn’t for lack of trying by many of the older students in Scott’s school. Word had gotten around about what had happened at the party, and there had been no repercussions for Jason or his friends. That opened the floodgates of people trying to take advantage of any moment they found Scott alone. Luckily, those times were very rare.</p><p>Then there was the issue of his friends, Kirstie in particular.</p><p>Scott hadn’t seen her since Halloween of last year.</p><p>Her parents had been mortified by what she had experienced at that party, and they insisted that she get away from this toxic place. They moved immediately. Scott had no idea where to, and he and Mitch had no means of contacting her.</p><p>She was gone, a distant memory. And it was all Scott’s fault.</p><p>And Mitch? Scott felt horrible for Mitch, too. Other kids in their grade showed interest in being Mitch’s friend, but he always blew them off to be with Scott. Scott had been making an active effort to do things separately from his best friend, in order to push him into a more active social life.</p><p>Then, a month ago, Connor had cornered Scott at his locker in one of those rare moments where Mitch had left him alone. He had decided that he would touch Scott all he wanted as a few other students passed by, doing nothing but rolling their eyes in response to the violation. Scott remembered being pressed against a locker, being palmed through his jeans, while Connor whispered how annoyed he had been that Jason didn’t include him on Halloween the year before.</p><p>Connor was ripped away from him in a moment’s time, just as Scott clenched his eyes shut and had accepted his fate. He could hear a scuffle close by as the two people pushed each other and argued with hushed tones, and then there was a larger presence in Connor’s place. Scott swallowed the lump in his throat, actually finding himself wishing it could be Connor again.</p><p>“You okay?” a kind voice had said. The tone was gentle, and foreign to Scott.</p><p>Scott looked up and locked eyes with the taller boy. He had seen him before, but he had no idea who he was.</p><p>“Thank you,” was all Scott could figure out how to say.</p><p>“Don’t sweat it. I’m sorry people around here are animals. Did he hurt you?”</p><p>Scott looked down at the floor, and shook his head.</p><p>“Good, I don’t have to kill him, then. I’m Alex.”</p><p> </p><p>Scott entered the kitchen as his father finished his rant about girls. His parents turned to look at him, as though trying to hide the fact that he had been the topic of conversation.</p><p>“You look handsome, Scotty,” His mother said, moving closer. He groaned, as any 15-year-old boy would in this situation. She smiled softly, placing a kiss on his cheek and straightening his red flannel shirt, which was opened to reveal his white t-shirt underneath.</p><p>“Okay, let’s go, champ,” Rick said, standing. Scott nodded, following his father to the car.</p><p>“If you feel even <em>remotely </em>uncomfortable…”</p><p>“I know, Dad.”</p><p>“Don’t wait. Better safe than sorry.”</p><p>“Yes, sir,” Scott replied, his tone soft and respectful. Rick grimaced, anyway. He knew that was Scott’s way of telling him to fuck off.</p><p>Scott sat still, looking at his father, as they pulled up to the movie theater. Rick had been expecting him to get out of the car as it was still rolling, so this was a pleasant surprise.</p><p>“I love you,” Scott said. Rick nearly broke down in tears. The world truly didn’t deserve this kid.</p><p>“I love you too, kiddo. More than you could ever know.” Rick turned to look at his son, who was smiling softly. “Do you see him?” He watched as Scott’s eyes searched the sidewalk.</p><p>“Yup, right there.” Scott pointed at the boy, for emphasis.</p><p>“Have your cell phone?” Scott pulled out his phone, which had been a birthday gift this year.</p><p>“Have fun.”</p><p>He watched as Scott retreated towards the other boy. He watched the other kid’s eyes light up when he saw him, reaching out his arms to embrace Scott as he greeted him, happily. Rick didn’t particularly love that this kid was a year older (and slightly bigger), but Connie was right when she said that he was a sweet boy. The fact that he had stood up to other kids on multiple occasions on Scott’s behalf was certainly helpful for Rick’s psyche as he pulled away from the theater.</p><p> </p><p>“Hey, Alex,” Scott greeted as the larger boy pulled him in for a hug.</p><p>“Hey, Scott. I’m so glad you could come out tonight.” Scott didn’t feel uneasy when Alex touched him. He felt comfortable. That was a rarity. He pulled away and looked into Alex’s eyes. They were soft and they were also blue, which also made Scott feel better. The older boy reached for Scott’s hand, and smiled when Scott took it, allowing himself to be led into the theater.</p><p>The movie was fine, Scott supposed. He wasn’t really sure, because if he was being completely honest, he hadn’t been paying much attention. He was too busy focusing on his hand clasped in Alex’s, and how <em>damn sweaty </em>his own hands can be sometimes and <em>how EMBARRASSING </em>that is. He was relieved when Alex withdrew his hand from his, halfway through the movie, and swung his arm over Scott’s shoulder, instead. Scott leaned in, happily.</p><p>Scott wanted to kiss him <em>so badly.</em></p><p>Alex’s finger was tracing small circles on Scott’s shoulder. It was gentle and nice, which coincidentally were the two words that Scott would use to describe Alex, as well.</p><p>The main character was running from something now. Scott had no idea what was going on, but he enjoyed listening to Alex laugh each time something stupid happened.</p><p>His heart leapt into his throat when the handsome boy leaned close.</p><p>“You can absolutely say no to this, if you want to,” Alex whispered. “but I haven’t stopped thinking about how much I’d like to kiss you.”</p><p>Scott felt his cheeks flush. He had never been kissed before. Well… not consensually, anyway.</p><p>
  <em>What if I suck at this?</em>
</p><p>Scott leaned closer, finding the courage to place his hand on Alex’s cheek, pulling his face closer. Alex smiled, before lightly pressing his lips to Scott’s.</p><p>It was a sweet first kiss. Alex pulled away and looked into Scott’s eyes.</p><p>“Again?” Alex asked, smiling, as his finger made its way underneath Scott’s chin.</p><p>Scott leaned forward and Alex kissed him again, this time more boldly. Alex licked at the crease of Scott’s lips, and Scott realized he <em>really </em>liked that. Scott accepted the invitation and opened his mouth for Alex to explore with his tongue. Alex’s other hand came up to run through Scott’s hair, down Scott’s neck, and back around the back of his head.</p><p>The kiss remained slow and sweet, in its own way. Scott felt butterflies for the remainder of the movie. He also still had <em>no idea </em>what the hell was going on in it. Somehow, he didn’t care at all.</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Tenth Grade, Part II</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Tenth Grade will be three parts. Hope you enjoy!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Scott had been at his locker with Mitch by his side when Alex found him, a week later. They had been texting and talking on the phone all week, but nothing beat seeing him, which was a bit more rare, considering he was a year older.</p><p>“Hey,” he said. “Mitch, can I borrow Scott for a minute?” Mitch looked to Scott for an indication that this was okay. Scott nodded, and Mitch returned to his locker on the other side of the hall.</p><p>“I love how protective he is of you,” Alex said, his voice sounding fond.</p><p>“Yeah, well, I’ve kind of scarred him a few times,” Scott replied, rubbing the back of his neck and watching Mitch as he tried to fake looking busy. He saw Alex flinch at the realization.</p><p>“Right. I didn’t mean to bring that up,” Alex offered, looking at his shoes, his hands behind his back. “Wait… a few times?” Alex’s eyes widened a bit, but he decided to drop it for the time being. “Anyway…” He pulled out a single black tulip. Scott smirked, taking it from Alex’s hold.</p><p>“What’s this for?” Scott asked, a confused smile gracing his lips.</p><p>“It’s a black tulip. They stand for power, strength and elegance. I thought it represented you perfectly.”</p><p>“That… is the sweetest thing I’ve ever heard.” Scott couldn’t contain his smile.</p><p>“I’m full of sweetness. Stick with me, and I’ll show you.”</p><p>“I think I can make that happen.”</p><p>“Will you be my boyfriend, then?”</p><p>Scott’s eyes widened in surprise. Alex suddenly looked uneasy.</p><p>“I’m sorry. I completely understand.” He was blushing adorably, now.</p><p>“Alex, I...”</p><p>“No, that was so stupid of me. I’m rushing you. That’s not what I want, at all…”</p><p>“Alex.”</p><p>“The last thing I want to do is make you feel uncomfortable.”</p><p>“ALEX.”</p><p>Alex stared at him, his mouth agape. Scott turned and put his books into this locker, and placed the tulip in there with them, before turning to look back at the boy. He grabbed both of his hands.</p><p>“I would love to be your boyfriend.”</p><p>Alex’s face slowly morphed from terrified to elated as he realized what Scott had said. “You… would?”</p><p>“I would,” Scott nodded.</p><p> </p><p>The next interaction Scott had at his locker that week didn’t go quite as well. It was Friday. He was looking for his Global History textbook when his shoulder was sent flying into the door of his locker.</p><p>He cursed the administrators who had decided that Jason needed to be held back as a senior in high school.</p><p>“Hey, pretty boy,” Jason greeted, smirking. He leaned in close, now, placing a hand on Scott’s now-throbbing shoulder. “I’m gonna need to have you under me again, and I’m gonna need that soon,” he whispered. Scott tried to back up, but Jason grabbed him by the wrist, bringing his hand up to place a kiss on his palm. “Don’t run, gorgeous. The more you fight, the more turned on I get.”</p><p>A second set of arms wrapped around Scott from behind, and he forgot how to scream. There was no way that this was going to happen in the high school hallway. Where were they going to bring him?</p><p>“Back the fuck up,” a low voice growled from next to his ear. Scott’s heart stopped palpitating when he realized that it was Alex who had his arms wrapped around him.</p><p>Jason dropped Scott’s hand, putting his hands up in mock defeat. “Allie. Sorry bro,” he said with laughter in his voice. Alex let Scott go, moving in front of him, defensively.</p><p>“Touch him again and I’ll end you,” Alex snarled. Jason’s eyes flickered between the pair in front of him, a grin spreading across his lips.</p><p>“Oh. He’s yours? My bad. I didn’t realize you were fucking him.” He licked his lips, rubbing his hands together. “But can we, I don’t know, take turns? I don’t mind sharing.”</p><p>Jason’s laughter was halted by the sound of his own head slamming into the locker. Scott reached out and grabbed at Alex’s shirt, but he shrugged Scott off easily.</p><p>“Alex. Stop.” Scott pleaded. The last thing he needed was for Alex to be suspended, or worse. His voice did the trick, and Alex turned to him, slowly. He took Scott by the hand and led him to the men’s room.</p><p>“You okay?” Alex asked, placing his hands on Scott’s cheeks, looking over his face, frantically. Scott knew he should be thankful, but instead he felt nothing but embarrassment.</p><p>“I’m fine. You shouldn’t have done that.”</p><p>“Scott, he was intimidating you.”</p><p>“You hurt him.”</p><p>“He <em>raped you. </em>He’s lucky I didn’t kill him.<em>”</em></p><p>Scott flinched. He felt so pathetic in all of this. He didn’t need Alex’s hero complex right now.</p><p>“You can get suspended.”</p><p>“<em>He </em>should be suspended.”</p><p>“He won’t be.”</p><p>“And why the hell not?”</p><p>“Because I don’t <em>fucking </em>matter!” Scott’s eyes widened as the words left his mouth, dripping with anger. Alex was staring at him now, silently, with his arms at his sides with defeat and heartache. Scott knew he looked crazy, on the verge of tears and his chest heaving.</p><p>“Scott… you can’t believe that.”</p><p>“Don’t do that. Don’t patronize me.”</p><p>“Scott…” Alex reached out, tentatively, to rub up and down Scott’s arms. Scott begged himself not to break down in tears. That would be icing on the cake of this bizarre little breakdown he was having. Alex pulled him to his chest, rubbing the back of Scott’s head as he embraced his shaking body. “Breathe, Scott. Breathe for me.”</p><p>Scott released a shaky breath, begging his tear ducts to suck his tears back in.</p><p>“Good, just breathe, baby. It’s okay. You’re okay.” Alex was whispering in his ear now, rubbing his back, softly. “You matter. You’re sweet, and so smart, and so damn beautiful. You matter so fucking much, okay?”</p><p>Scott pulled away and looked at the floor, unable to look Alex in the eyes. “I don’t, Alex. Not legally. He could hurt me all he wants, and the second I retaliate, or worse, the second <em>you </em>retaliate, you’ll be the one in the wrong.”</p><p>“That’s majorly fucked.” Alex’s voice broke, sounding as though he might cry, himself.</p><p>“Alexander Kirk, get out of the bathroom <em>now,” </em>a female voice echoed from the hallway.</p><p> </p><p>Scott was seated with his parents on either side of him, in the principal’s office.</p><p>“We have every right to suspend your little friend, Scott,” Principal Ellis barked. “And a suspension in his junior year would be <em>awful </em>for his college chances.” Scott rubbed his temples.</p><p>“He was defending my son.” Rick said, calmly.</p><p>“Mr. Hoying…”</p><p>“<em>Doctor </em>Hoying,” Rick replied. He hated when people corrected others for something so stupid, but this lady was getting the better of him in the moment.</p><p>“Dr. Hoying… not to instate a punishment would hold us liable for lawsuit.”</p><p>“He was grabbing my son and <em>threatening him…”</em></p><p>“With all due respect, sir…”</p><p>“With all due respect, what? What are you about to tell me?” Rick barked, standing up. “Are you going to tell me that there’s nothing you can do for my son because of what he is? That he has to take the fall each time because of some outdated <em>laws? </em>That he has to tolerate threats about being raped in his own school and there’s nothing he can do about it?”</p><p>Connie grabbed her son’s hand as he watched his father lose it.</p><p>“Sir… technically we don’t even have to be providing Scott with an education.”</p><p>Rick laughed, emotionlessly.</p><p>“We have two options here,” she continued. “Either Alex is to be suspended for one week for his assault on Jason,” Scott felt Rick’s muscles tense next to him at the use of <em>assault </em>in such an ironic way. “Or you will withdraw Scott from our school, effective immediately.”</p><p>“Are you out of your<em> mind?”</em></p><p>“I’ll do it.” Scott said, his voice stronger than he felt. Rick stopped his train of thought, and gaped at his son.</p><p>“Please. Just don’t take it out on Alex. This was my fault, and I will withdraw immediately. Everyone will be safer that way.”</p><p> </p><p>Scott had hoped that he would be long gone before he had the chance to be face-to-face with anyone here again, but he heard footsteps approaching as he finished cleaning out his locker while the school was halfway through sixth period.</p><p>“What are you doing? Alex’s voice sounded scared.</p><p>Rick placed a hand on Scott’s back. “We’ll give you some privacy.”</p><p>Scott watched as his parents walked away, swallowing the lump in his throat painfully.</p><p>“Did they… did they <em>kick you out?” </em>Alex asked, frantically.</p><p>“I withdrew.” Scott’s voice was quiet.</p><p>“Why the hell did you do that?”</p><p>“It’ll be better for everyone.” Scott couldn’t bring himself to look into Alex’s eyes. This clearly frustrated Alex, and he gently placed a hand beneath Scott’s chin, raising his face to look at him.</p><p>“I’ll talk to your dad…”</p><p>“This was my choice.”</p><p>“Why are you leaving me?”</p><p>“I’m not… I just can’t be here anymore.”</p><p>“I’ll protect you.”</p><p>“You don’t get it…”</p><p>“I can protect you!”</p><p>“I’m protecting <em>you, </em>Alex.”</p><p>They were silent again, Alex searching Scott’s face for answers that simply weren’t coming. “How?” Alex finally said.</p><p>“They were going to fuck up your permanent record,” Scott sighed.</p><p>“I don’t care about that.”</p><p>“I do.”</p><p>“Don’t <em>fucking </em>leave me, please!” Alex squeezed his waist, gently, his eyes watery.</p><p>“I’m not leaving you. Stop saying that.”</p><p>“Promise?”</p><p>“I promise. I just won’t be <em>here.”</em></p><p>Alex pulled him into one last bone-crushing hug before Scott pecked him on the cheek.</p><p>“Bye for now, Allie.”</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Tenth Grade, Part III</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Here's a nice one for you. Short but sweet. Don't get too comfortable with that, though! Let me know what y'all think of Scolex!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>As it turned out, homeschooling wasn’t so bad. He was able to see Mitch after school, and it was giving Mitch some freedom to make some new friends. Scott smiled, knowing that his best friend deserved that.</p><p>He was also able to work at his own pace, which admittedly was much faster than others his age.</p><p>He and Alex were doing fine, as well. They had been dating for 5 months when the end of the school year came around. Alex got along with Mitch, and Scott enjoyed spending time with Alex’s friends occasionally.</p><p>“Can you help me with something?” Alex asked one day, while they were watching a movie in Alex’s living room. Alex’s house was empty. Scott knew his parents would be livid if they knew about the fact that he was alone with him, but he had never trusted anyone more.</p><p>“…Sure. I think?” Scott replied, looking uneasy.</p><p>“Awesome,” Alex smiled and reached into this backpack, pulling out a large textbook. “Math sucks.”</p><p>Scott laughed when he realized the Alex’s request was innocent. “Yes, it does.”</p><p> </p><p>“I get it!” Alex exclaimed later. “Why are you so smart?”</p><p>Scott shrugged, smiling bashfully. “You can repay me with kisses, though,” Scott replied, laughing.</p><p>“Done,” Alex whispered, closing the gap between them.</p><p>It started off slow and sweet, like it usually did, but Alex became bolder as the minutes wore on. His hand moved from Scott’s cheek, down his neck, across his chest, and landed on his hips. He pulled at Scott, situating him on his lap, so Scott was straddling him. Alex moaned into his mouth as Scott moved his hips slightly, placing more pressure on Alex’s groin.</p><p>Scott liked that reaction very much.</p><p>Scott also liked how Alex let Scott’s hands wander across his stomach and back, underneath his shirt.</p><p>Scott also <em>really</em> liked how Alex’s hands did the same, moving slowly over Scott’s body.</p><p>Alex pulled his lips away, suddenly, his hands becoming still on Scott’s chest beneath his shirt.</p><p>“I want you,” Alex panted. He looked nervous, as though he was afraid that his confession would scare Scott away.</p><p>Scott picked up on this and leaned in, capturing his lips in a soft kiss. “I want you too.”</p><p>“My bed?”</p><p>Scott nodded, crawling off of his lap and allowing Alex to lead him to his room.</p><p>Scott’s jeans were becoming tight, and he exhaled sharply as Alex laid him down and unzipped his fly, freeing him from the constricting fabric.</p><p>Alex continued to place soft kisses on his face and neck as he unbuttoned Scott’s shirt, rubbing away the goosebumps that were forming on his skin. Once his shirt was opened, Alex placed those same gentle kisses across his collarbones, over his heart, and across each of his ribs, before biting his nipple, gently.</p><p>Scott hissed at the contact, as Alex leaned down to pull off his pants. He watched intently as Alex stripped himself of his clothes quickly.</p><p>Scott liked his view <em>very much.</em></p><p>Scott was on his back, and Alex was kneeling between Scott’s legs. This position was a familiar one, but far less scary.</p><p>Alex reached forward and took Scott’s hardened cock in his hand, rubbing it, slowly. “This okay?” Alex asked, his eyes full of a mixture of lust and concern. Scott nodded, reaching out to return the favor. Alex closed his eyes as Scott’s hand wrapped around his length, pumping slowly. Alex leaned down, whispering softly in Scott’s ear, “You’re so breathtakingly beautiful, Scotty.”</p><p>Alex pulled Scott’s legs up towards him, and Scott’s breath hitched. Alex paused as he reached for a small bottle on his end table. “Still okay?” He whispered. Scott nodded, closing his eyes. Alex didn’t move, so Scott opened his eyes after a moment.</p><p>He was searching his face, trying to determine if he was going too far. His fingers were covered in lube, but they weren’t moving. Alex was completely still.</p><p>“I want you,” Scott whispered, again. Alex’s eyes softened, and he leaned forward to place a kiss on Scott’s stomach. He felt his boyfriend’s finger at his entrance, and he tried to relax as much as possible. He gasped as the finger entered him.</p><p>This felt very different from the last time. Alex inserted another finger, opening him up, gently.</p><p>“Feel good, baby?” he asked, his voice gentle. Scott could only nod.</p><p>He withdrew his fingers and reached for a condom, bringing it up to his mouth to open it with his teeth.</p><p>“Don’t need one,” Scott said, softly. Alex paused, looking at him with a mixture of lust and confusion. “I can’t transmit STDs. I’m immune…” Scott was suddenly finding himself embarrassed, but he didn’t really know why.</p><p>Alex lined himself up. He kissed Scott’s kneecap, briefly, and Scott laughed.</p><p>“What?” Alex asked, smirking.</p><p>“My knee?” Scott asked.</p><p>“Every inch of you deserves to be kissed.”</p><p>“That was so chee- oh. Wow,” Scott breathed as Alex filled him, grabbing his hips, lightly. Alex rubbed his hands up and down Scott’s stomach, slowly, as he waited for Scott to give him an indication that he could move.</p><p>“Go,” Scott nearly whimpered. Alex looked directly into his eyes as he began to thrust into him, tentatively.</p><p>“I’m not gonna last long, baby,” Alex groaned, gripping his hips a bit tighter. “You feel too good.”</p><p>Scott moaned in response, forgetting how to form words as he came closer to the edge, himself.</p><p>It didn’t take long before Scott felt every muscle in his body clench as his orgasm took him over. Alex groaned in response to Scott’s tightening muscles around him, and quickened his pace as he released into him. Alex withdrew after a moment, his chest heaving, and laid down, pulling Scott to rest on his chest.</p><p>“No… I’m too sticky,” Scott argued, quietly. Alex clutched him tighter.</p><p>“Don’t care. Need you close to me.” He whispered, tiredly, placing a kiss on Scott’s temple. “Thank you for trusting me,” Alex added after a moment, lazily running his fingers through Scott’s hair.</p><p>And Scott did trust him, more than anyone.</p><p>And he continued to trust him, throughout Alex’s senior year, with all of himself. Alex was good to him. Protective, caring, and Scott could tell that he loved him, even before Alex uttered those words for the first time, on Scott’s 16<sup>th</sup> birthday. </p>
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<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Eleventh Grade</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Ugh, this one was tough. For those of you wondering about Scolex... here's your answer! I'm gonna go hide in a corner now.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Scott became increasingly anxious as Alex’s graduation came closer. It was May of Alex’s senior year, and Scott didn’t want to be left behind. He was in his living room one afternoon, sitting on the floor with his back against the couch, and Mitch was perched behind him on the cushions, playing absentmindedly with his hair as he confessed his fears.</p><p>“He’s like… obsessed with you, Scott. Being away won’t change that.”</p><p>The boys could vaguely hear the front door opening and shutting, and a moment later, they were faced with a confusing sight. Alex was in the threshold of the living room, his arms crossed and his eyes dark.</p><p>“Hey, baby. I didn’t know you were coming over,” Scott said, happily.</p><p>“Clearly.”</p><p>Scott flinched at the cold tone, but stood and crossed the floor to give his boyfriend a proper greeting.</p><p>He leaned in to give him a soft kiss, but was surprised when Alex’s hand found the back of his head, holding him in place as he deepened the kiss. He released him after a moment, and shot a glare at Mitch.</p><p>“What are you guys doing?” Alex asked, his tone still rigid.</p><p>“Just talking. Catching up on the happenings of public school, mostly,” Scott attempted to keep his tone light, but was struggling.</p><p>“I guess… call me later.” Alex said, pecking him on the cheek and turning to leave.</p><p>“You don’t have to leave. You can join us.”</p><p>“N-no. No, I’m good.” With that, the front door clicked shut.</p><p>“That was weird,” Mitch said, softly. Scott nodded, unsure of what to make of that.</p><p>Scott didn’t see that side of Alex again in the weeks after that. He returned to his sweet, caring self, doting over and adoring Scott with every bit of energy he had.</p><p>Perhaps he was having a bad day.</p><p> </p><p>Now it was June, and Scott watched as four of Alex’s senior friends ambled into his boyfriend’s house. Alex wrapped his arms around Scott from behind, and placed a kiss on the back of his neck.</p><p>“Thanks for hanging out with us tonight. Just want to let off some steam before we graduate, you know? But I wouldn’t be able to have any fun without the love of my life here with me,” he smiled, softly. Scott could see his love twinkling in his eyes, and it gave him butterflies.</p><p>The five seniors stood in a circle and shotgunned a round of beers. Scott shook his head as he watched. <em>Stupid, </em>he thought, <em>but God, he’s cute even when he’s stupid.</em> They grabbed another six pack and Alex’s friend announced that he wanted to use the hot tub. Scott felt a pang of trepidation pulse through his stomach, but followed them outside, anyway.</p><p>The boys… <em>men, </em>Scott thought, stripped down to their underwear in an instant once they were outside, and clamored into the water, popping their beer cans open. Scott remained fully clothed. He sat on the edge of the pool, and dangled his feet in the water, straddling Alex’s back, who was getting used to the temperature.</p><p>“Join us, Scott. We won’t touch. Allie won’t let us,” one of his friends, John, joked with a wink.</p><p>“I’m good, thanks,” Scott replied, placing his hands on his boyfriend’s shoulders, trying to nonverbally indicate his discomfort.</p><p>“Come on, babe. They know better than to put their hands on what’s mine,” Alex interjected. He was facing away from Scott, but his voice sounded… different. Scott watched the other men smirk in response, and he knew that Alex’s face was mirroring this.</p><p>“That’s okay…” Scott started, but was frozen in place when a shadow was looming over his back.</p><p>“I’ll help you,” Alex’s friend Drew grumbled, placing his hands on Scott’s shoulders.</p><p>Alex turned in his place in the hot tub, and Scott was thankful that his boyfriend was going to help him… until he looked into his boyfriend’s eyes.</p><p>Blank. Lifeless.</p><p>“Allie…” Scott whispered, his voice breaking.</p><p>“Come here, baby.”</p><p>Scott felt his arms forcefully raised by the looming body above him, and his shirt was ripped off of his body. Alex crawled out of the hot tub, pushing Scott onto his back.</p><p>“Allie… look away. Look away, please?” Scott asked, breathlessly.</p><p>Alex laughed, coldly. “I can’t take my eyes off of you, beautiful.”</p><p>Scott thought of screaming as his shorts and boxer briefs were ripped off, but once again, he couldn’t find his voice.</p><p>He felt Drew’s strong arms wrap around him from behind, and he was brought into a seated position before Alex hopped back into the tub, pulling Scott in as well, by his ankles.</p><p>“Who wants to watch me fuck him?” Alex asked, pinning Scott to the side of the tub, rubbing his body unforgivingly.</p><p>Scott clenched his eyes shut as he heard a unanimous positive response to that offer.</p><p>“Allie,” Scott reached up and grabbed his boyfriend’s face, turning it to the side so he couldn’t see him. He whispered in his ear, frantically. “Come back to be, Allie. Please come back. You don’t want this. You don’t want to hurt me, <em>please, Allie.”</em></p><p>Alex’s eyes cleared in that moment, and turned to look at him, eyes wide. Perhaps the chlorine had helped to mask his pheromones, or maybe it had been his voice that snapped him out of the trance, but he was thankful that it had worked.</p><p>“Give me his clothes. <em>Now.”</em> Alex muttered, clearly terrified of what he had been about to do, as he wrapped a protective arm around Scott’s bare waist, blocking everyone else’s view of Scott’s body with his own as best he could.</p><p>Nobody was moving to help. Alex looked up, as Scott leaned into him, afraid to open his eyes. Each of them were looking at the pair with lust in their eyes.</p><p>“Guys…” Alex started, but yelled out as he was ripped from Scott’s grasp, and haphazardly thrown against the far wall of the tub. John had taken his place in front of Scott, now, and was attacking his throat with his mouth, biting down and sucking, harshly.</p><p>“Don’t you fucking <em>dare,” </em>Alex growled, trying to free himself from the strong grasps of his two friends.</p><p>Drew sat himself next to Scott and leaned back. John seemed to understand this cue perfectly, and lifted Scott by his hips, seating him in Drew’s lap as Drew’s arms wrapped around him.</p><p>“FUCK OFF,” Alex was nearly screaming now, his eyes filling with tears as he watched Scott losing every bit of his energy trying to pry four hands off of his body. Alex watched as Scott’s chest struggled to expand, his breathing panicked and shallow, and the little pleading noises coming from the younger boy were enough to shatter his heart into a million pieces.</p><p>Alex’s eyes widened and he yelled out as Scott was lifted off of Drew’s lap, just to be slammed down again, with no preparation. Scott could do nothing more than whimper, and Alex didn’t need to see what was happening under the water to know what Drew had done.</p><p>“Fuck, Alex. Why were you keeping this from us,” Drew asked, his voice low and overcome with yearning. “He feels to fucking good around my dick.”</p><p>“Stop… Stop. Please.” Alex took the pleading approach now, as he watched them hurt someone he loved with his whole heart.</p><p>John stood in front of Scott, raising him up and slamming him back down, so Drew would bottom out inside of him. Scott was silent, biting his lip, clearly trying not to make any further noise.</p><p>John removed his own boxers, and growled, “Open your mouth, slut.” Alex fought again against the arms holding him down, as Scott complied, taking John into his mouth.</p><p>John thrusted deep down Scott’s throat, moaning in a way that made Alex nauseous, all while Drew continued to make Scott bounce on his lap. John continued to do this, painfully ramming himself into him as Scott had to take this from both ends for what felt like forever.</p><p>John shuddered and finished down Scott’s throat, causing him to gag, which in turn made Alex begin to wretch.</p><p>“Don’t you fucking dare ruin this fun by vomiting, dumbass,” John moaned to Alex as he softened in Scott’s mouth before pulling out. He grabbed Scott by the shoulders again, pushing him down forcefully on the body below. Scott clearly couldn’t take the pain of that anymore, and he cried out.</p><p>That was enough for Drew, who finished with a loud moan, peppering Scott’s skin on the back of his neck and shoulders with kisses as he pulled out of him, but continued to hold him in place.</p><p>Alex’s eyes widened again as John took his friend’s place holding him back, and his other friend, Greg, traded places with him, holding Scott down. Then, Drew did the same with Alex’s friend, Jake.</p><p>The scariest part, Alex realized in that moment, was that it appeared that both men were back in control of themselves after their orgasm. Their eyes were clear as they held Alex down.</p><p>“Don’t let them do this,” Alex pleaded, softly. He was met with snickers from both of them. This had nothing to do with pheromones. They simply felt entitled to this.</p><p>Scott looked like he might pass out from the pain as he was lowered on to Jake’s lap.</p><p>“Such a good boy, taking me like this. You’re so fucking good, Scott.” Jake whispered in his ear, just loudly enough for Alex to hear, as he scratched his fingernails down Scott’s chest and stomach, leaving angry, raised marks in their wake.</p><p>Greg placed himself in Scott’s mouth just as John had, and grabbed Scott’s throat, fucking his mouth painfully.</p><p>Alex clenched his eyes shut when Scott’s tears formed in the corners of his eyes.</p><p>A car door slamming snapped them out of the moment.</p><p>“Is that your mom?” Drew asked Alex, his eyes wide.</p><p>“It’s my dad. Now get out, or he’ll kill you all.” Alex lied, shakily, praying that his friends would believe him.</p><p>Jake threw Scott off of his lap, and the four men leapt out of the pool, grabbing frantically for their clothing, before disappearing around the side of the house. A car started moments later, and sped off.</p><p>Scott was weakly reaching for his clothing, his face buried in the crook of his elbow as he did so. Alex reached out, tentatively.</p><p>“Don’t fucking touch me,” Scott whispered, his voice breaking. Alex backed up, shocked.</p><p>“Scotty…” Alex began, his voice cracking, painfully. “Scotty, let me see your hair.” He wanted desperately to make sure that there was no sliver of silver hair there.</p><p>Scott weakly climbed out of the tub and dressed himself, not making eye contact with his boyfriend. Alex followed suit, keeping his distance, but trying to make out of there was any indication that Scott had started breaking.</p><p>Scott ran a hand through his hair when he was dressed, and silently turned to leave.</p><p>“Please, Scott. Let me see? Let me check?”</p><p>“Allie?” Scott asked, turning to face him with tears in his eyes. Alex’s heart ached for the boy he loved so much, and moved to close the distance, but Scott backed away. Alex felt like his world was ending.</p><p>“Yes, baby?”</p><p>“Don’t ever come near me again.”</p><p> </p><p>“Are you <em>fucking kidding?”</em> Rick asked later that evening, as Connie recounted what had happened. Scott couldn’t hide the trauma he had just endured. He could hardly walk, and his body was riddled with scratches and bruises.</p><p>Rick clawed at his hair, angrily. “I told you,” he growled. “I told you that kid was going to do something. <em>You insisted </em>he wasn’t affected.”</p><p>“Rick…”</p><p>Rick marched into the living room, where Scott was curled up on the couch. He had dozed for a minute, his body begging for rest. He awoke when his father placed his hand beneath his chin, forcing him to look up at him with his red, puffy eyes.</p><p>“Dad…”</p><p>“Are you <em>stupid?” </em>His face was too close. Scott was terrified. His father never acted like this, no matter how mad he was.</p><p>“I said… are you <em>fucking stupid? Four men? </em>Five, if you count that stupid boyfriend of yours?<em>” </em>Rick yelled, grabbing his son’s face in his hands before wrapping his fingers around his throat, squeezing him there for a brief moment.</p><p>“Rick… stop it, now,” Connie’s voice warned, but Scott could tell from her tone, she was scared, too.</p><p>Looking into his father’s eyes, he immediately understood why. Blank and lifeless.</p><p>“You want to be fucked by everyone? Is that what you want? Should I put a sign outside?”</p><p>“Dad…” Tears were filling Scott’s eyes now.</p><p>Rick threw him off of the couch, and Scott landed on his shoulder on the hard floor.</p><p>“Should I fucking teach you not to be such a fucking <em>slut?” </em>Rick growled, lifting Scott by the collar of his t-shirt into a sitting position.</p><p>“Rick… enough. Stop it!”</p><p>“Shut up. I have to teach Scott a lesson,” Rick was yelling now, as his hand disappeared down the back of Scott’s sweatpants.</p><p>There was a loud <em>crack, </em>and all eyes widened. Connie backed up, slowly, as Rick’s eyes returned to normal.</p><p>Connie had slapped Rick across the face with all of her might, the signs of which were already evident on his now-reddened face. He withdrew his hand from Scott’s pants as though he had been burned. He backed away, slowly, and placed his head to his knees, letting out a gut-wrenching sob.</p><p>Connie knelt down next to Scott, wrapping her arms around him and rocking him back and forth. She did not look at his father.</p><p>“It was the pheromones, my love. He was affected because they’re stronger right now… because you’re hurt,” Connie whispered in his ear, but Scott could tell that she was far less understanding than she was letting on.</p><p>She was right, though. This was completely out of his father’s control. And now he was sitting here, watching this man… <em>his idol,</em> fall apart because of him.</p><p> </p><p>Scott’s Breaking Threshold: &gt;5.</p><p> </p>
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<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Twelfth Grade, Part I</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>If you read this on my Wattpad, there are images to accompany each chapter. That helps to determine what Scott looks like, who's in his life, etc. In this chapter, there's a banner with images of all of his new friends... feel free to check it out over there! f you're particularly sad about my neglect to include your favorite blond-haired, blue-eyed male celeb, feel free to yell at me.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Scott followed his mother through the front doors of the giant building, cursing whatever sick individual was responsible for making him a sécor in the first place. His bags were getting heavy, and he cursed himself for packing so much, too.</p><p>“Here we are, room 112,” Connie smiled what was probably the most artificial smile that Scott had ever seen. He knew that in reality, she was trying desperately not to break down.</p><p>They walked in, surveying the dorm. A bouncy, short blond hopped off of his bed on the decorated side of the room, and bounded towards them with his hand extended.</p><p>“You must be Scott,” the man said, his tone friendly and genuine. He had large glasses that surrounded his piercing blue eyes. Scott would ordinarily find these glasses to be nerdy as hell, but somehow this kid was pulling them off. “I’m Tyler. Tyler Oakley. Welcome to Arsdale!”</p><p>“Nice to meet you, Tyler,” Scott replied quietly as he shook his hand. “This is my mom, Connie.”</p><p>“You’re gonna like it here. It’s nice to be with your own kind, for one. Before I came here, I didn’t know a single sécor, did you?” Scott shook his head. “Well that’s over, my friend! You’ll meet lots of people just like you. We get each other. And most importantly, because we’re all sécors, it’s pretty much the safest place in the country for us.”</p><p>Scott smiled softly, noting that Tyler spoke like he was reading from a script.</p><p> </p><p>After Scott’s mother had left to catch her flight back home, Scott could feel Tyler’s eyes on his back as he unpacked, quietly. There was an uneasy tension in the room that Scott could almost taste. He turned to face the other boy, and watched Tyler’s eyes avert their gaze quickly.</p><p>“Something wrong?” Scott asked, fighting against saying what he was really thinking, which was more along the lines of, “What the hell are you looking at?”</p><p>“Oh. Sorry. It’s just… You seem sad.”</p><p>Scott shrugged in reply. “I guess this just isn’t my first choice of schools. Let’s put it that way.”</p><p>“What was the final straw?”</p><p>Scott blinked. “What?”</p><p>Tyler adjusted on his bed, propping himself up on his elbows, gazing at his new roommate with curiosity. “What happened that made you get shipped off here? You’re not breaking or broken, which is a good sign.”</p><p>“Oh. I guess my parents just want to avoid that before it’s too late.”</p><p>“Was there… you know… an event that scared them?”</p><p>Scott kind of wanted to punch this know-it-all kid in the face. Sighing, he threw the sweatshirt he had been attempting to fold onto the bed. He might as well be honest. Maybe this kid knew how he felt.</p><p>“I was attacked by my boyfriend’s four friends. Then my dad was affected when I came home and tried to attack me, too.”</p><p>
  <em>Good job, Scott. Short, sweet, and informative. And you didn’t even cry.</em>
</p><p>“That… sucks. I’m so sorry to hear that.” Tyler looked embarrassed for asking, and suddenly couldn’t make eye contact. “Four at once? That’s… that’s horrible.”</p><p>“Nature of the beast that is being a sécor, right?” Scott asked, shrugging.</p><p>“I don’t know. Multiple attacks at once are a little less likely. Pheromones really tend to only take over when someone is alone with you.” Tyler explained, in that stupid know-it-all manner.</p><p>“Yeah, so I’m told. Some of them were affected. Some weren’t, but they did it anyway.”</p><p>“You’re really pretty.”</p><p>“Excuse me?” Scott asked. For some reason, he found that to be very insulting.</p><p>“Sorry.” Tyler clasped his eyes shut. “That was abrupt. There is evidence that ‘prettier’ sécors will have it worse, regardless of pheromones. You might be one of the prettiest sécors I’ve ever seen…”</p><p>“Gee, thanks,” Scott nearly spat. “Remind me to pick up some color contacts and hair dye next time we go out. And I’ll just work on becoming obese right away.”</p><p>“Oh, honey. That won’t work at all.”</p><p>“What? Why?” Scott considered this a challenge. He could definitely eat himself into obesity…</p><p>“If you put color contacts in your eyes, they turn clear immediately. You can put all of the dye you want into your hair, but it will stay blond. Hell, you can shave your whole head, and it will regrow within the day. And you are genetically incapable of not having a muscular stature. Sorry, sweetie. You’re doomed to be this pretty. Side note: Your skin can’t scar, which I’m sure you’ve noticed by now. So there’s no deforming your face, either.” Tyler replied.</p><p>“That… really?” Scott asked, abandoning his anger.</p><p>“Really. You’ll learn a lot about yourself here. It really isn’t so bad. And hey, we’re in southern California, where the weather is like… always nice. That’s a plus, too.” Tyler scooted off of his bed as Scott placed the last of his clothes into a drawer. “Come on. Want to meet some of my friends?” He left the room before Scott could even respond. This kid was <em>a lot</em>.</p><p>“Do you have a college in mind?” Tyler asked as they walked down the hall.</p><p>“Not really,” Scott shrugged. He had definitely set his sights high when he was younger, like Yale or Princeton. He was smart, so he had a feeling he would get in. But since finding out more about being a sécor, he abandoned those thoughts. Yale or Princeton would never want him, he wasn’t even human.</p><p>“I really want to go to USC,” Tyler replied.</p><p>Scott stared blankly at him. “University of Southern California?” Tyler clarified. Scott nodded in acknowledgement. “I’m gonna be going there for my interview next week. You should come and check it out. You need a plan for after this, after all. We could look out for each other.”</p><p>Scott actually liked this idea, despite not particularly liking the kid.</p><p>“Maybe,” Scott replied as Tyler pounded on a door at the end of the hall. It opened quickly, revealing several more blond haired, blue eyed men. Scott felt like he was in a horrible Sci-Fi movie.</p><p>“Hey, Tyler. Is this your new roommate?” Scott was surprised when he heard the Irish brogue. People really came from Europe to attend this school?</p><p>“Yeah guys, this is Scott Hoying.” Tyler replied, turning towards him. “Scott, this is Niall Horan.” He pointed at each of the others. “That’s Chris Hemsworth. Next to him is Tom Felton. To his right is Jesse Spencer. Then over there on the bed is Josh Hutcherson and Bobby Berk. We are all seniors here.”</p><p>“Nice to meet you all,” Scott said when he finally found his voice. Having seven sets of eyes on him was unnerving.</p><p> </p><p>As it turned out, sécors were generally very nice people, even Tyler. Actually, <em>especially </em>Tyler. Scott found himself liking his roommate more and more each day over the course of the first weekend.</p><p>It was nice to have some new friends, particularly since Alex was no longer in his life, and Mitch’s texts were becoming fewer and farther between. Oh yeah, and Kirstie, who was pretty much dead to him.</p><p>“You have Dr. Daniels as your therapist. That’s good,” Tyler muttered, looking down at Scott’s schedule the night before his first day of classes.</p><p>“Are there bad ones?” Scott asked, crinkling his nose.</p><p>“Daniels is nice, from what I’ve heard. Some of them… aren’t.” Tyler replied. “Just a heads up, hardly any staff members are sécors. Some of them might be like… 25%, but our final 50% sécor staff member… left us… last year.”</p><p>“Left you?”</p><p>“He jumped out of the clock tower.”</p><p>“Jesus. Why?”</p><p>“He started to break and panicked, I guess. Cool guy.”</p><p>“Why don’t they hire more sécor staff?” Scott asked, feeling uneasy at the thought of being alone with a human male.</p><p>“Honey.” There was the condescending word. “How many adult sécors do you think are left in this world?”</p><p>Scott shut up then, feeling both stupid and terrified.</p><p> </p><p>Two weeks later, Scott was already overwhelmed by his classes.</p><p>“Alright, class. Last week we had the unfortunate task of learning about the process of breaking. Does anyone have any last questions about that topic before we move on?” The class was silent as Mr. Bartes scanned the room. Mr. Bartes was one of the staff members who was 25% sécor, so he thought he knew everything. “Alright. So, this week we will be starting our next topic, which will be the effects of breaking.”</p><p>“Ah, good. A positive topic this time,” Tyler whispered. Scott snorted.</p><p>“Is something funny, Mr. Hoying?” Bartes asked. Tom and Chris turned towards him, smirking.</p><p>“No, sir. Just clearing my throat.”</p><p>“Okay then. Who knows some symptoms that are developed when a sécor finishes breaking? Go ahead, shout them out.”</p><p>“Suicidal ideations.”</p><p>“Depression.”</p><p>“Fatigue.”</p><p>“More potent pheromones.”</p><p>“Muscle weakness.”</p><p>“Silver hair and eyes.”</p><p>“Increased pleasure for humans.”</p><p>Scott listened as these symptoms were read aloud and Bartes scribbled them on the board.</p><p>“Some of them become mute, right, Mr. Bartes?” Jesse asked.</p><p>“Yes, Jesse. They do. Good one. Scott. Anything to add? You’re awfully quiet.”</p><p>Scott had no idea what he should say. This wasn’t fair. He was brand new. Tyler leaned in as Bartes turned towards his board, ready to write, and Tyler whispered, “Apathy.”</p><p>“Um. Apathy.” Scott repeated. He sighed in relief as Bartes scribbled the answer on the board.</p><p>“Right, Scott. Nice job. Sécors may just simply allow attacks to happen due to apathy. They just lie there, there is no fighting back. It’s very sad, really.”</p><p>Scott met Tyler’s eyes and mouthed a quick, “Thank you.” Tyler smiled and patted his shoulder.</p><p>“Can you fix a broken sécor?”</p><p>“No,” the class chorused.</p><p>“No. No you cannot. What is the longest a broken sécor has survived on record?” Hands raised in response. “Josh.”</p><p>“Five years. A sécor was able to survive for five years, but ultimately killed himself after he was sold to his tenth master. 1992.”</p><p>“Very good.”</p><p><em>Master? </em>Scott felt himself becoming nauseous.</p><p> </p><p>“What the hell is a master?” Scott asked when some of his friends were sitting around in Chris’ dorm that night.</p><p>“Someone who pays for, and therefore owns a sécor. It used to be more common, but sécors are still kidnapped and sold. There isn’t much regulation of it.”</p><p>“My dad was sold to a man when he was 22,” Bobby said.</p><p>“Once you’re sold, what happens?” Scott asked, feeling stupid again.</p><p>“They give you a collar. That’s the signal that you’re owned. It’s more of a bragging rights kind of thing. The only way you can be free is if they take that collar off and let you go.”</p><p>“How often does that happen?”</p><p>“Hardly ever. Some sécors have escaped when their collars are taken off within the house. Like if there’s irritation or something, and the master gives them a break. Other times, they take the collar off so they can sell their sécor. You can also escape during that time frame.” Jesse replied.</p><p>“Can’t you just take your own collar off? We aren’t dogs, we have opposable thumbs.”</p><p>“Lock and key, love. And you can’t cut these collars… they’re made of some very strong leather that would probably end up strangling you before you could escape.” Tyler’s voice replied.</p><p>“So could I like… sell myself to someone who won’t hurt me?”</p><p>“No, you can’t sell yourself.”</p><p>“Could my dad?”</p><p>“Nope. Family members can’t sell you or own you, either. And the average person can’t, either. You need a license to sell a sécor.”</p><p>And just like that, Scott felt helpless, once again.</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Twelfth Grade, Part II</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Some more Arsdale storyline for you. Twelfth Grade's final part. :) It's a bit short, so I'll give you another one today.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Open yours, first.” Tyler said, excitedly, as he and Scott held their giant envelopes in their hands.</p><p>“No way. You open yours, first,” Scott replied, laughing.</p><p>“Okay, okay, okay. Together. 1, 2, 3.”</p><p>The looked down at their letters, and grinned at each other simultaneously. They threw their envelopes and embraced each other, tightly.</p><p>“Congratulations. I love you,” Tyler exclaimed, laughing in Scott’s ear.</p><p>“Love you too, Ty. Congratulations.” He squeezed his best friend a bit more tightly before releasing him, taking his phone out of his back pocket and typing, knowing that he probably wouldn’t receive an answer.</p><p>
  <b>
    <strong>
      <em>Scott Hoying: Hey Mitchy. Hope you’re having a good year. Miss you. Guess what? I got into USC! Where are you going to go? You’re so smart, you’re probably going to Harvard, like you always wanted.</em>
    </strong>
  </b>
</p><p>Scott smiled, fondly, missing his friend. His phone buzzed a moment later.</p><p>
  <b>
    <strong>
      <em>The number you are trying to reach is not in service.</em>
    </strong>
  </b>
</p><p>His heart hurt, suddenly.</p><p>Originally, he thought that maybe Mitch had simply bought a new phone. He decided to message him on Facebook later that week to find out his new number.</p><p>But that’s when he saw it.</p><p>It was a picture of Mitch, embraced in one of Alex’s muscular arms. They were smiling at the camera, locked in an embrace with one another. The caption was simple: A heart emoji.</p><p>Scott slammed his laptop shut, biting on his knuckles to keep from screaming.</p><p>“Whoa. You okay?” Tyler asked, looking up from his homework.</p><p>Scott couldn’t respond. This feeling of betrayal was crippling. Scott’s face twisted as a sob overcame him, and he bit on his knuckles even harder. Tyler leapt up from his bed and threw himself at his friend.</p><p>“Are you okay? Oh god, are you okay? Stop it, Scott. You’re hurting yourself. Scott, stop. Please. Please? Give me your hand. It’s okay. Scott, please, you’re starting to bleed! STOP.”</p><p>Tyler crawled behind Scott and wrapped his arms around him, holding his bleeding hand away from his face to protect him from any further damage. Scott shut his eyes and curled into his friend, trying to steady his breathing.</p><p>While Scott’s eyes were closed, Tyler reached for the computer, opening the lid, slowly. He looked at the tags of the picture: Mitch Grassi and Alex Kirk. He looked at the caption, and he looked at the photo, and his heart broke slightly more with each realization of what he was looking at.</p><p>Tyler clicked on Mitch’s name, and defriended him from Scott’s account, immediately.</p><p>“I’m so sorry, Scott. I’m so sorry that he betrayed you like that,” Tyler whispered, trying not to cry, himself.</p><p> </p><p>Arsdale had become Scott’s new home by the time second semester had rolled around. In fact, Scott hadn’t even returned home for Christmas. Other than his parents, there was nothing worth going back for, anymore. Luckily. His friends felt the same way about their respective hometowns, and they all remained on campus for the holidays. They were plenty happy with one another, and felt that they didn’t need anyone else, anyway.</p><p>They were all sitting quietly, watching a movie in Tom’s room with the lights off, when Josh burst through the door.</p><p>“Help me,” he whimpered. Scott was on his feet in a moment, rushing to his friend’s side. He squinted at Josh in the darkness. The TV screen brightened momentarily, and Scott gasped.</p><p>There was a streak of silver in Bobby’s hair.</p><p>“How? Who?” Scott asked, frantically.</p><p>“My – th-“ Josh stuttered.</p><p>“He was with his therapist,” Chris growled.</p><p>“He’s gonna… he’s gonna come and k- kill me.” Josh sobbed. “I r-r-ran when… it was over… and he saw my s-s-silver h-h-air on the way out… he’ll never let me l-l-live…”</p><p>Scott wrapped his friend in a hug, rubbing his back, soothingly. “Come with me,” Scott whispered, and took Josh’s hand.</p><p>Five minutes later, they were knocking on Dr. Daniels’ door.</p><p>“Good evening, Scott. What can I do for…” Daniels’ voice trailed off as he laid eyes on Scott’s companion. “Come in, quick.”</p><p>“What do we do?” Scott asked once inside. Dr. Daniels approached Josh, slowly.</p><p>“Who did this to you, son?”</p><p>Josh didn’t reply, but instead he clenched his eyes shut, shaking his head back and forth, quickly.</p><p>“It was Dr. Glassman,” Scott supplied for him. Dr. Daniels’ eyes narrowed as Josh began to shake.</p><p>We’re going to figure out how to fix you, okay? And you will never have to see that man again.”</p><p> </p><p>The mood was somber the following weekend. Scott laid with his head on Chris’ stomach, while the other man played with his hair, gently. The rest of his friends were sprawled out in similar positions, finding it hard to speak.</p><p>Josh’s parents had withdrawn him from school before they could figure out how to fix him. This morning, they received the news that not only had Josh finished breaking, but that he immediately slit his wrists once it was final.</p><p>Josh was gone. Just like that. Just like all of them would be, eventually.</p><p>Scott sat up, rubbing his red-rimmed and swollen eyes. Chris sat up as well, wrapping him in his larger arms. Scott’s floodgates opened at the contact, and the tears began to fall. Tyler clamored to his side as well, and he felt a second set of arms embrace him as he let all of his emotions go at once. He shook with each sob, clawing at his hair with frustration for how cruel this world was. Chris reached up a hand, steadying Scott’s own to prevent him from pulling his hair out. Tyler placed a soft kiss to his temple, trying to bring him back down to earth.</p><p>They remained like that, cradling their friend in their arms and letting him fall apart for as long as he needed to.</p><p>His father embraced him with a squeeze that could have popped his lungs when graduation day came.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m so proud of you,” Rick said, as he pulled away from his son just enough to look into his eyes, before embracing him again.</p><p>“Thanks, Dad,” Scott replied, laughing.</p><p>“Let me have a turn, for goodness sakes,” Connie chimed in, her voice feigning offense before embracing her son in her arms as well. “You’re going to be fantastic.”</p><p>“He absolutely will be,” Tyler’s voice chimed in from next to him. He was holding his own mother’s hand. Connie had met Tyler the day Scott moved in, but Rick had not. “Dr. Hoying, I’m Tyler. This is my mother, Veronica. Mom, this is Scott, my very best friend.”</p><p>Veronica reached out to shake Scott’s hand, while Tyler did the same with Scott’s parents.</p><p>“You two better look out for each other at USC.” Rick said, shooting them both stern looks.</p><p>“This guy will get hurt over my dead body,” Tyler said, glancing at Scott. Everyone flinched at the use of words. “Too extreme?” Tyler grimaced.</p><p>Scott slung an arm over his friend’s shoulder. “No way. The feeling is mutual,” he laughed.</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Freshman Year, Part I</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Here are some more familiar faces for you all!! This is where the story really takes off, as I wanted to focus on Scott's adulthood but had trouble with doing so without all of that background. So here we go!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Tyler, for God’s sake, just <em>push.” </em>Scott whined.</p><p>“It won’t… <em>fit.” </em>Tyler replied, panting.</p><p>“Make it fit! I <em>need</em> it!”</p><p>They paused, stared at each other for a minute, and proceeded to cackle with laughter until they were red in the face, realizing what they sounded like. Tyler grabbed the edge of the twin bed again, trying to wedge it into the corner where Scott wanted it.</p><p>“Yes! Done!” Scott declared, throwing his hands up in victory.</p><p>“So much more room for activities!” Tyler shouted.</p><p>Scott was still laughing as he made his way down the hall for some paper towels from the common room. He was distracted by some girls laughing loudly behind him, and turned around right into someone.</p><p>“Oof! I’m so sorry!” a high-pitched voice said, sounding panicked.</p><p>“No, I’m sorry, that was my…” Scott started, but when his eyes met hers, he suddenly couldn’t finish his sentence. “Kirstie?”</p><p>Her look of shock matched his, but then her eyes welled with tears and the jumped at him, wrapping her arms around his shoulders as she buried her face into his neck.</p><p>“I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry, Scott. I left you and you were so <em>hurt</em>… and for that, I never forgave myself, and I thought I would never see you again and it <em>killed me…</em>” she was muttering as her walls caved in and she embraced him. He hugged her tightly, willing himself not to cry as well.</p><p>“It’s okay, Kirst,” he whispered. She shook her head in its place in the crook of his neck in disagreement. He laughed, trying to lighten the mood. “Yes, it is. Look at me.” She pulled away, her watery eyes meeting his again as he held her shoulders, looking into her eyes. “I’m fine. Okay?” She nodded, clearly not fully believing him. “And when did you get so fucking gorgeous, anyway?” Scott continued, swinging an arm around her shoulder.</p><p>“Shut up, loser. Look who’s talking,” she replied, laughing through some stray tears. “Where are we going?”</p><p>“You have to meet my roommate,” Scott replied.</p><p> </p><p>“So, then Mitch did <em>what?” </em>Kristie looked back and forth between Scott and Tyler, her eyes bulging out of her skull. “That doesn’t sound right, at all.”</p><p>Scott looked down, unable to talk about this anymore. When Kirstie had asked about their best friend, Scott knew this was going to be difficult.</p><p>He had filled her in on the events of the past three and a half years of his life. He noted how she smiled fondly when he told her about Alex, and how that face morphed into horror when he told her how it had ended. Tyler chimed in for the description of Scott’s time at Arsdale (“…and then he met the <em>hottest sécor </em>he had ever laid eyes on.”) and she cried when they recalled how Josh had been so cruelly taken from them.</p><p>“And now we’re here. And fate brought you back to me,” Scott shrugged, smiling at her softly. “I don’t blame you at all for what happened, Kirst. You know that, right?”</p><p>Kirstie nodded. “It didn’t make it any easier to leave you.” Her lip quivered and Scott embraced her again.</p><p>“Where did you go?”</p><p>“San Francisco. It was fine. My parents checked to make sure that I never reached out to anyone from Arlington, though.”</p><p>Tyler was gaping at her. “They hated Scott that much?”</p><p>“They didn’t hate him. They hated…” she paused, searching for her next words carefully.</p><p>“They hated what I am,” Scott chimed in. “What <em>we </em>are,” gesturing between himself and Tyler. “Just like mostly everyone else.”</p><p>Kirstie looked like she might argue, but her shoulders slumped as she realized that he was right. “I’m sorry.”</p><p>“Don’t be dumb,” Tyler responded. “That’s like apologizing for your uncle’s drunken shenanigans at your family Christmas party. There ain’t a chance in hell you can change that behavior, sis.”</p><p>They laughed easily together, and Scott was feeling great about the start of his college career.</p><p> </p><p>“Hey guys!” Kirstie waved across the dining hall a few weeks later. She approached them with two additional people in tow. Scott and Tyler scooted closer to one another, subconsciously readying themselves to protect one another. She set her dinner down on the table, and the two men did the same on either side of her.</p><p>“Hello.” Scott said to the smiling men, once he realized that Kirstie wasn’t going to be making introductions.</p><p>“Oh. Sorry. This is Matt, and this is Kevin. They’re in my psychology class.” Kirstie said, digging into her dinner. “Matt, Kevin, this is Scott and Tyler. Scott and I met when we were seven.”</p><p>“I was six,” Scott countered with a teasing smile.</p><p>“Big whoop,” Kirstie replied, sticking her tongue out. Scott took this opportunity to throw a piece of his bread at her, which stuck to her tongue, comically. The men on either side of her laughed, and the one on her right (Kevin, Scott was pretty sure) threw his head back and emitted a high-pitched wail with laughter.</p><p>“Okay, your laugh is <em>everything, </em>though,” Tyler said through his own laughter.</p><p>Kevin smiled once he had calmed down enough to speak. “So I’m told.”</p><p>Scott and Tyler decided pretty quickly that they liked these two. They had each watched the two men closely over the course of the dinner, looking for tell-tale signs that they were particularly… susceptible… to either of them, as they had learned to do at Arsdale.</p><p>
  <em>“Look for lingering gazes, particularly if they eye you from head to toe. Look for quick movements of the head, as though they are trying to shake off a feeling. Watch their spacing from you, and note if they make an effort to get closer to you in any way. Watch their mouths for licking of their lips or even so much as smiling too much. Lastly, at the end, make bodily contact with them, such as a handshake or a hand on their shoulder, and note any physical reaction.” Their teacher had instructed.</em>
</p><p>Matt and Kevin passed all of these tests.</p><p> </p><p>Over the next week, Kevin and Matt had gotten to know Scott better. They asked questions, but not so many that Scott was uncomfortable. They seemed to be genuinely interested in helping to keep him and Tyler safe. While Scott knew better than to trust them entirely, he could feel his walls coming down, slowly and steadily.</p><p>Matt and Scott were in a full-blown discussion about Game of Thrones when they walked into their calculus class later that week.</p><p>Scott paused as though someone had shot him in the chest when he came to the front of the room. Matt didn’t realize this, and gestured to two seats next to each other in the second row.</p><p>“Here, Scott. These are good. We’ll have a row of people in front of us as a buffer for questions we can’t answer! This class is wack, dude.” Matt looked up, smiling, but frowned as soon as he laid eyes on his friend’s blue eyes. “Scott?”</p><p>Scott’s eyes narrowed. “Let’s sit in the back.” He said, his voice low as he eyed someone behind the empty seats for a moment. Matt turned to look at the subject of Scott’s gaze. A smaller boy was staring back at Scott now, with tears forming rapidly in the corners of his eyes. Matt had never seen this kid in the class before.</p><p>“…Okay… come on.” Matt replied gently, walking to the back.</p><p>Scott made sure to avoid any further eye contact as he walked right by the man in question.</p><p>Scott quietly placed his notes into his bag at the end of the class, avoiding looking at Matt. He wasn’t ready to explain himself to his friend.</p><p>“Scott?” a small voice asked as the class began to file out of the room. Matt watched as Scott stiffened. He was overcome with a feeling of worry as Scott continued to place his belongings in his bag without acknowledging the source of the voice. Matt moved closer to Scott protectively as the other man approached him.</p><p>“Scott.” The man repeated, his voice sounding broken.</p><p>“Ready?” Scott asked Matt, slinging his bag over his shoulder.</p><p>“Scott, who’s this?” Matt asked, knowing that Scott would be angry with him.</p><p>“This?” Scott asked, his voice dripping with sarcastic enthusiasm as he used his thumb to point to the man near them. “Oh. This is Mitch Grassi,” Scott said, icily, and walked out of the room without another word.</p><p>“I should… go… make sure… you know… he gets home okay…” Matt stuttered to a teary-eyed Mitch, before running after his new friend.</p><p>“WHAT?” Kirstie yelled in the dining hall later that evening.</p><p>“I wish we were kidding,” Matt said softly, casting a sideways glance at Scott, who looked exhausted.</p><p>“What are the odds that the three of us would end up here, though? Isn’t that weird?” Kirstie asked, baffled. “You’re going to have to see him again. What are you going to do?”</p><p>Scott shrugged. “Keep ignoring him, I guess.”</p><p>Matt placed a hand on Scott’s back, between his shoulder blades. “He looked devastated. You don’t want to hear him out?”</p><p>“And hear the dirty details of how he got with the man who easily could have <em>broken me, </em>and then why he ghosted me simultaneously<em>? </em>No, thanks.” Scott stood up with his dinner, throwing it in the trashcan close by, untouched. “I’m leaving.”</p><p>Tyler stood up, throwing his own meal away to follow him, wordlessly.</p><p>Kirstie watched them leave and sighed before turning back to the only two left at the table. “What did Mitch say?”</p><p>“He just said his name. That’s all Scott would let him say. He just… iced him out. Poor kid looked like he had been kicked in the chest when we left,” Matt recalled, sadly. Kirstie gave him a sad look of acknowledgement as Matt’s eyes focused behind her. “Speaking of which…” he said, quietly.</p><p>“Kirstie?” a little voice asked, behind her. Kirstie’ eyes widened, and she stood without looking at the source.</p><p>She turned quickly, embracing Mitch with all of her might. “I missed you,” she whimpered, and Mitch’s emotions exploded out of him, hugging her tightly as he began to cry.</p><p>“Help me,” he whispered into her hair. “I messed up so badly. Please, help me.”</p><p>She withdrew from his arms, gazing into his tearful eyes. “We’ll fix this. I promise. But first, you have a whole lot of explaining to do.”</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Freshman Year, Part II</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>It's weird to update only one story at a time! Is this what normal writers do?! Now that Two Degrees is over, I feel empty, so I've gone HAM on writing this one. I'm up to like... chapter 20. Let me know how you like it as it progresses, and maybe I'll do multiple updates a day.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Scott?” Kirstie asked, gently knocking.</p><p>“Come on in,” Tyler replied, without waiting for Scott’s input.</p><p>Kirstie entered the room slowly, and Scott looked up from his textbook to shoot her a smile, letting her know that he had calmed down. His smile faltered, however, when he saw who was behind her.</p><p>“Really?” Scott asked, blankly.</p><p>“Scott… just listen,” Kirstie urged, and Kevin gave Mitch’s smaller frame a nudge into the room before he and Matt entered, gesturing for Tyler to come with them.</p><p>“Tyler, don’t,” Scott warned, but Tyler followed the men out of the room, leaving Scott alone with his childhood friends. He groaned as the door clicked shut. He felt the mattress of his bed dip as Kirstie sat next to him, placing an arm over his shoulders.</p><p>“This isn’t necessary,” Scott said, shaking his head. His tone was even, which he struggled to maintain as he looked into the eyes of someone he had once trusted more than anyone.</p><p>Betrayal is a bitch.</p><p>Mitch remained silent, which infuriated Scott further. If he wanted to talk, he should hurry the hell up. Instead, he bounced slightly on the balls of his feet, fidgeting his hands and looking like he was struggling to breathe. It was annoying.</p><p>“Mitchy, just tell him what you told me,” Kirstie urged, as though she could feel the frustration radiating from Scott’s shoulder where her hand rested.</p><p>Mitch came closer, slowly, avoiding eye contact with Scott at all costs, until he was standing between Scott’s legs where he sat on the high bedframe.</p><p>Too close. Much too close.</p><p>“You left, and I felt like I was dying,” Mitch said, his voice cracking, his voice barely above a whisper. Scott sat in silence, his eyes narrowed, so Mitch continued. “Your messages became fewer and farther between. You never even… you never even fully explained what had happened to make you leave. I felt like a burden to you as the weeks wore on and you moved on with your life. I missed you so much,” Mitch said, his eyes tearing.</p><p>“One night, there was a pounding on my front door. I heard my dad answer it. Next thing I knew, Alex was in my room, looking exactly the way I felt.”</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>Mitch looked up from his computer, just as Alex burst through his door. He looked like a madman, his hair disheveled and his eyes a painful shade of red. Mitch hadn’t heard from Alex in one month, since two days before Scott suddenly departed.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Mitch thought back to his hushed phone conversation with Scott that evening. “No, I can’t stay here. No, there’s nothing we can do. No, don’t talk to Alex. No, we’re over. I don’t want to talk about it,” was all Scott would say. Naturally, Mitch’s eyes narrowed at the man in his threshold. He could only guess what had happened between them.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Alex… are you alright?” Mitch asked as he focused more on Alex’s features. They were alarming.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Have you heard from him?” Alex asked, his voice sounding slightly hysterical. Mitch eyed him closely, nodding.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Is he alright?” Mitch nodded again.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Are you sure?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Yes, Alex. He’s okay.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Promise me he didn’t break. Please… it’s all I’ve been thinking about. Mitch, I don’t even know if he’s alive. Promise me we didn’t break him…?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Mitch was suddenly overcome with nausea. “We?” He asked, softly.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Alex flopped himself down on the younger boy’s bed, allowing a sob to escape his lips. “I fucked up so bad, Mitch. So, so bad.” Mitch found himself patting the boy’s shoulder, comfortingly, despite the sudden urge to slap him.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Have you ever watched your worst fear happen right in front of your eyes? Something that made you want to die?” Alex asked, eyes unfocused, as though he was trying to refrain from breaking, himself. Mitch knew, now more than ever, that Alex had hurt Scott beyond repair. Mitch took a large gulp of air, afraid to hear more.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>“He explained to me what happened at his house. I tried to kick him out… but Scott, the more I spoke with him, the more I realized that that night destroyed him,” Mitch finished.</p><p>Scott wanted to slap Mitch across the face. How dare he sympathize with the man. It destroyed <em>Alex?</em></p><p>
  <em>What about me?</em>
</p><p>“We sort of… commiserated. You know, being the only two people who knew you so well, feeling like we lost you…” Mitch’s voice was distant as he tried to get the story out without crying further. “Nothing happened. I know how it looks. We were… <em>are… </em>friends. Nothing more. I swear it. That photo… it was bait. Alex was hoping you’d contact one of us about it, and that it could be his way back into your heart…”</p><p>“He could have broken me.”</p><p>“I know. He knows. Scott… he wasn’t in control.”</p><p>“Why did you change your number?” None of this was making sense.</p><p>“I got a new phone…”</p><p>“Why didn’t you tell me that? If you wanted <em>so badly </em>to stay in contact with me?”</p><p>“I wasn’t thinking.” Mitch was beginning to shake now. Scott felt his heart aching for his friend, and mentally slapped himself. “I love you, Scott. You’re my best friend, my <em>brother</em>…”</p><p>“How the hell did you end up here?”</p><p>Mitch was silent for a moment, as though the next words were going to be painful to say.</p><p>“I took a summer semester at Harvard… you know, in order to leave Arlington, the same way you did. To move on. And then, I pretty much immediately failed out. USC has a rolling admissions policy, so rather than wait for admissions again, I figured I would take some credits here.”</p><p>“That’s bullshit.”</p><p>Mitch’s eyes widened, and then his shoulders slumped. “Your Facebook said you were going here, even though we weren’t friends on there anymore, I could see it…”</p><p>“Get out.”</p><p>“Scott,” Kirstie started. Mitch backed away at the hostile sound of the blond’s voice.</p><p>“You’re not fooling me. Get out.”</p><p>“Scott, he isn’t…”</p><p>“What? Are you calling Alex every night, talking about me? Will he come <em>visit </em>you, like the best friends you are? Surprise me in the fucking <em>bathroom? </em>Is that the idea?”</p><p>“He knows now that he’ll never come near you again,” Mitch replied, shaking his head in defeat.</p><p>“But you? You get to?”</p><p>“I didn’t rape you!” Mitch yelled. “Or have you forgotten that? I never <em>touched </em>you! I never even dreamt of it!” His voice was bordering on hysterical. “I’m a good <em>fucking </em>friend to you, Scott.” He paused and took a deep breath before speaking again, more softly. “I made mistakes, but I need you in my life, and I think you need me.”</p><p>For some reason, that last sentence felt like a stake through Scott’s heart. His eyes stung as the tears formed, and he was angry with himself as they fell, completely out of his control.</p><p>He knew that he should stop causing himself harm when he was upset, and yet, his nails dug painfully into the palms of his hands as his tears fell.</p><p>“Scotty, don’t do that, you’re going to hurt yourself,” Kristie whispered, taking his hands in her own, rubbing his knuckles, soothingly. He couldn’t help the whimper that escaped his lips as Mitch found the courage to embrace him, rubbing his back comfortingly. Scott’s hands found themselves squirming out of Kirstie’s grasp as his arms instinctively wrapped around Mitch, clutching him.</p><p>“I’m so sorry, Scotty. I’m so sorry. I love you so much,” Mitch was whispering, like a mantra, over and over again.</p><p>Scott didn’t know which emotion was correct to feel in this moment: gratitude that his friend had made his way back to him, or fear that Scott needed him so badly.</p><p> </p><p>Scott was by no means ready to dive head-first back into the inseparable friendship he had had with his smaller friend, but he felt each brick of the wall he had built up being removed, one by one, as the weeks progressed.</p><p>Mitch was getting along extremely well with Tyler. It was actually strange, in Scott’s opinion, considering that he figured that Tyler’s personality would be the complete opposite of what Mitch could tolerate.</p><p>It was nice, seeing them getting along.</p><p>In other news, Scott and Tyler were very good at keeping an eye on each other, and their friends had already fallen into a perfect rhythm to keep them safe. There had only been two instances in which they had been threatened.</p><p>In the first, Tyler had been buying his dinner when a man stepped a bit too close to him in line. Tyler had tried to increase his distance, but the man continued to brush up against him. Scott had seen Tyler’s frame tense up, and stepped between them immediately.</p><p>“Back up?” Scott asked, smiling in a menacing way. The man’s eyes flashed with aggression.</p><p>“How did we end up with two of you on campus? What are the odds of that?” The man asked, licking his lips.</p><p>“Slim to none, I’d say. Want to do something about it?” Scott asked, wondering where the hell his courage was coming from. Suddenly, he was flanked by Matt and Kevin.</p><p>“I heard him tell you to back the hell up,” Matt said.</p><p>The man took one look at each of them, and complied, just as Tyler finished paying for his meal. They returned to their table, with Kevin at Scott’s side and Matt at Tyler’s.</p><p> </p><p>The next time was a bit more frightening. Scott and Tyler had a private bathroom off of their dorm, which had been arranged for their safety.</p><p>That was all good and fine, until the shower decided to pretty much explode.</p><p>“Fuuuuuck,” Tyler groaned. “When will it be fixed?”</p><p>“Not until Wednesday, at the earliest,” Scott sighed. “Looks like we’ll have to use the floor bathrooms.”</p><p>So, they did. They simply made sure that they always did so together. Not weird at all, really. Right?</p><p>They stepped into two showers next to one another late that night. They figured that the later it was, the less likely they would be to run into anyone.</p><p>Scott stepped out of the shower into the small changing area, which was also closed off by a small curtain. He wrapped a towel around his waist just as the curtain swung open.</p><p>He was pushed back by his shoulders before he could even yell out. The back of his head connected with the tile wall painfully, and he saw stars.</p><p>A hot, boozy breath against his neck was all he could focus on as he willed himself not to pass out from the dizziness he was feeling.</p><p>He grasped at the towel as the man attempted to unravel it from his waist. His knuckles were white as they held it tightly in place. The man latched onto his collarbone and bit down, and <em>thank god, there’s my voice, </em>Scott thought as he yelled Tyler’s name.</p><p>The curtain opened again in an instant, and Tyler, showered and fully clothed, wedged himself in between the man and his prey. “Look away,” Tyler grunted as he pushed the man with all of his strength. Luckily, Tyler was much stronger than he looked, and the man was thrown from the stall. He shook his head, as though ridding himself of a bad thought, before his eyes focused on Tyler and Scott again.</p><p>“I… what the hell was that?” The man asked.</p><p>Tyler closed the curtain, hoping the imbecile would walk away on his own. They heard footsteps leave the tiled floor, and Tyler let out a shaky breath.</p><p>“You okay?” He asked, grabbing Scott’s clothes before focusing on him. “Oh, honey, you’re not.” He handed the clothing to Scott and watched as he dressed himself with shaking hands before removing his towel. Tyler noted the bite mark on Scott’s skin, right along his collarbone, in full view above the collar of his shirt. Their friends were going to kill him for letting that happen.</p><p>He became more concerned as Scott blinked, slowly.</p><p>“Hit my head,” Scott muttered.</p><p>“Let me see,” Tyler said softly as he closed the gap between them, rubbing the back of his friend’s head. “Wow, that’s a bump and a half. You feel okay?”</p><p>“Dizzy,” Scott replied.</p><p>“Let’s get you to the pre-med major. I’m out of my element, here.”</p><p> </p><p>“Bud, you have a concussion,” Kevin muttered, moving the flashlight on his cellphone back and forth in front of Scott’s eyes. “Tyler, you’re gonna have to wake him up every hour. Then, tomorrow, you guys don’t go anywhere unless you have someone else with you. He’s hurt, so his pheromones will be stronger. We won’t risk that, so we’ll make sure we stay with you in shifts. And lock your door tonight, yeah?” Scott nodded in response.</p><p>“Thanks, Dr. Olusola,” Tyler teased, smiling softly.</p><p>“You feel okay?” Kevin asked, looking into Scott’s eyes, his voice drenched with concern. Scott nodded again. He knew he would never get over the feeling of embarrassment he always felt after something like this happened.</p><p>“Let’s get you to bed,” Kevin replied, helping Scott off of his own bed. Scott swayed on his feet and clasped his eyes shut. Kevin steadied him by his arms. “Easy does it.” His eyes trailed down to his collarbone when he noticed the mark there. “Really, Tyler?” Kevin asked, pulling the collar of Scott’s shirt over to get a better look at it. Matt left his spot on his own bed and crossed the room in an instant to assess the mark, too.</p><p>“Did the guy <em>bite you?” </em>Matt asked, his voice higher than usual.</p><p>“It’s not my fault Scott was nearly attacked by a piranha,” Tyler insisted, throwing his hands up in defeat. Kevin laughed gently, grabbing an alcohol wipe from his first aid kit and rubbing the mark, softly.</p><p>Scott could handle a concussion every now and then. Hell, he could handle a bite, too. He knew that his friends would make sure he didn’t have to suffer any more than that. Somehow, that night, he felt safer than ever.</p><p>But boy, being woken up by Tyler Oakley every single hour sure was a pain in the ass.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0015"><h2>15. Freshman Year, Part III</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Freshman year is a long one, yo. Maybe I'll upload two chapters tonight...  This one is slightly uneventful... Yeah okay, two chapters today, it is!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Scott’s phone buzzed him awake, one Saturday morning in February. Groaning, he picked up his phone to see a FaceTime request from Chris Hemsworth.</p>
<p>“It’s early,” he grumbled as soon as Chris came into view.</p>
<p>“Where’s Tyler?” Chris asked, ignoring his complaint. His voice was angry. No… concerned. Scott flipped the camera to display Tyler’s sleeping form, sprawled out over his bed, before returning the camera to himself as he sat up.</p>
<p>“Get him, please,” another voice chimed in, equally serious. Scott knew it was Niall Horan even before the camera panned to the Irish man.</p>
<p>Scott threw a pillow across the room, earning a growl from the form on the other side.</p>
<p>“Hurry up,” Chris said, his impatience clear. Scott became nervous, and crossed the room to sit on his friend’s bed.</p>
<p>“Get up, Ty. Chris and Niall want to talk to us.”</p>
<p>Tyler sat up, rubbing his eyes. “What is it, like 6 AM?”</p>
<p>“Tom got sold.”</p>
<p>Scott suddenly couldn’t breathe. “What do you mean?” He must have misheard.</p>
<p>“Tom was taken and sold to the highest bidder, <em>is what I mean</em>…” Chris responded through clenched teeth.</p>
<p>“H-how do you know?” Tyler asked, suddenly wide awake, reaching out to hug his roommate for comfort. Scott threw an arm around him, allowing Tyler to nuzzle into his side.</p>
<p>“Jesse called. They were walking in New York City… the streets were full of people. Some traffickers approached them, and they started running. Everyone just watched them. No one tried to help. Jesse finally turned, once he thought they were safe… and Tom was gone.” There was a heavy silence when Chris was finished.</p>
<p>“How did Jesse know they were traffickers?” Scott asked after a moment.</p>
<p>“They were holding collars, dipshit.” Chris replied, his eyes narrow. Scott shut up. He knew Chris didn’t mean to be so cold. As the informal leader of the group, he knew that Chris felt a sense of responsibility for all of them.</p>
<p>Tyler looked at Scott with sympathy. “He will have been sold by now. Who knows where he could be…” Tyler said as he rested a hand on Scott’s knee.</p>
<p>“Keep your eyes open, yeah? And don’t blindly run. Make sure you run <em>together.” </em>Scott didn’t miss the tone of accusation towards Jesse in Chris’ voice.</p>
<p>“How’s Jesse doing?” Tyler asked.</p>
<p>“He’s a mess. Rightfully so. But at least Bobby is still in New York, so they can look after each other.” Niall answered.</p>
<p>Scott couldn’t find the words to speak, so he let Tyler bid them goodbye and hang up the phone. Then, he let Tyler wrap his arms around him, and he robotically ran a hand through Tyler’s hair as he let the smaller boy cry. For some reason, his own tears wouldn’t come.</p>
<p>He was numb.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>His phone buzzed again later that afternoon, and he held his breath as he answered Chris for the second time that day.</p>
<p>“Hey Scotty.” His voice was quieter, closer to the tone that Scott knew and loved. Scott smiled gently in return, still not trusting himself to speak and say something else that was stupid enough to piss him off.</p>
<p>“I wanted to call you and tell you I’m sorry…” Chris looked embarrassed.</p>
<p>“Sorry for what?” Scott asked, slightly dumbfounded.</p>
<p>“I wasn’t very nice to you. I felt horrible when we hung up and Niall made me realize that after I snapped at you, you were silent. I never want you to feel like you can’t speak, like you can’t ask questions. In fact, I <em>want</em> you to ask questions, because I want you to learn. I don’t know what I’d do if we lost another one of us, if we lost <em>you</em>…” Chris rambled. Scott smirked at him. He knew that Chris thought of him as the baby, not only because he was the youngest, but because he was the last one to join them. It was always heartwarming to see the protective side of him.</p>
<p>“It’s okay, Chris. You’re worried. I didn’t take it personally. I was quiet only to keep you calm.”</p>
<p>“You shouldn’t ever be made to feel like you can’t speak.”</p>
<p>“Don’t worry about me, Chris. Tyler and I are good here.”</p>
<p>“Promise?”</p>
<p>“I promise.”</p>
<p>“Love you, kid.” Chris looked exhausted, and Scott just wanted to hug him.</p>
<p>“Love you too, Chrissy.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Tyler recounted the story of Tom’s abduction that night at dinner. Scott couldn’t help but notice as Mitch scooted closer to him as he spoke of it, or as Matt wrapped a strong arm around Scott’s waist, as though he was daring someone to take him from them.</p>
<p>Yeah, Scott was safe here.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I’m so fucking <em>bored,” </em>Tyler whined a week later. Scott laughed from his spot on the bed, where he sat with his legs crossed and a deck of cards spread out between them.</p>
<p>“I know. Me too, Ty. But we have to let them live a little. It’s not fair to keep them to ourselves all the time.”</p>
<p>“We could have gone, too. They would have watched out for us. Kevin said so,” Tyler pouted, crossing his arms over his chest.</p>
<p>“That wouldn’t have been fair, either. Mitch and Kirstie would have had a nervous breakdown, for one,” Scott pondered, as he recalled the last time he had attended a party with them.</p>
<p>Tyler dropped it, knowing that Scott hated to think about that distinct memory. “Can we at least have a bit more fun in here?”</p>
<p>Scott laughed again. “What do you have in mind?”</p>
<p>“I thought you’d never ask!” Tyler rolled off the bed and crawled underneath it, emerging with a handle of cheap tequila a moment later.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>At the party across town, the other four found each other towards the end of the night.</p>
<p>“Having fun?” Mitch asked, more loudly than necessary. He giggled at the realization.</p>
<p>“Yeah, it’s cool, I guess. I feel bad that we left Ty and Scott, though,” Kevin responded, sipping his beer.</p>
<p>“I’m glad we didn’t bring them. Trust me, hon, it isn’t worth the stress. At least we know they’re safe,” Kirstie replied, feeling her anxiety increase just at the thought of freshman year of high school.</p>
<p>Kev and Mitch wandered off for refills, leaving Kirstie and Matt alone on the edge of a makeshift dancefloor. Matt was warily eyeing a couple who were dancing together, like he wanted to say something, but was refraining.</p>
<p>“You okay?” Kirstie asked.</p>
<p>Matt shrugged. “Tipsy,” he responded.</p>
<p>Kirstie decided to push him. “And?”</p>
<p>“I guess I wish they were here, too?” Matt posed, looking into her eyes.</p>
<p>Kirstie sighed. “If they were here, we would be terrified each and every second. Drunk people and sécors really don’t mix,” Kirstie countered.</p>
<p>“I know. Maybe I should have stayed with them, then.” Matt replied.</p>
<p>“They’re fine, Matt.”</p>
<p>“That doesn’t mean I don’t miss him.” Matt said, before rapidly shaking his head. “Them. Miss <em>them,” </em>he corrected.</p>
<p>Kirstie furrowed her brow. “What’s going on?”</p>
<p>“Nothing. Are we almost ready? It’s getting late. I want to check on <em>them</em> before we all head to bed.” Kirstie watched as Matt carefully said those words, afraid to slip up again.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The four of them frowned when they heard a loud thud on the other side of the door after they knocked. Their panic was interrupted, however, when it was immediately followed by giggles.</p>
<p>“WHO GOES THERE?” Tyler’s high-pitched voice rang out, followed by his own cackling laughter. They smiled as they heard Scott laughing quietly as well.</p>
<p>“Campus security. We had a noise complaint. Something about some obnoxious laughter from one Tyler Oakley,” Kevin responded, laughing.</p>
<p>The door clicked open and Tyler’s flushed face greeted them with a silly grin. “Ossifer, I swear to drunk I’m not God.”</p>
<p>“Whoa. I didn’t realize this was what you two had planned this evening,” Kevin said, leading the other three into the room. Matt placed a hand on the small of Tyler’s back, leading him back into the room, shutting and locking the door behind them before they got into any trouble. Mitch swayed on his feet as he made his way across the room, laying on Scott’s bed and placing his head in his lap.</p>
<p>“How you feeling, Scotty?” Kirstie asked, smirking as she wavered on her feet a bit, too.</p>
<p>“Tequila…” Scott simply replied, smiling goofily.</p>
<p>“Tequila!” Tyler repeated, loudly, and Matt clasped a hand over his mouth, cracking up. “Sorry,” Tyler whispered. Matt decided that this was not the one he wanted to take care of. Too much work. So he ambled over to Scott’s bed and took a seat next to him, noticing how Scott swayed a bit too much as the mattress dipped next to him. Scott snickered as Matt placed an arm over his shoulders to steady him.</p>
<p>“I hope leaving me here alone with this <em>child</em> was worth it,” Scott slurred, leaning over to rest his head on Matt’s shoulder. Matt laughed, enjoying how Scott’s head shook on his shoulder as he did so.</p>
<p>“You have a pretty laugh,” Scott said as he lifted his head, smiling as he looked into Matt’s eyes. “Very genuine. Very…” Scott looked thoughtful for a minute. “…nice.” He looked proud of himself for coming up with that adjective. Matt felt his heart swell.</p>
<p>“Okay, let’s all go to bed, yeah?” Kirstie proposed, watching Mitch dozing in Scott’s lap.</p>
<p>“Okay. Matty sleeps with me,” Scott said, grinning as his arms wrapped around Matt’s waist.</p>
<p>“Okay, so it is now noted that Scott is a cuddly drunk,” Kevin laughed.</p>
<p>Matt tried to follow Mitch off of the bed as Mitch rubbed his eyes, standing up, but Scott’s arms held him in place.</p>
<p>“Scotty, you gotta go to sleep now, sweetheart,” Matt whispered.</p>
<p>“You’re warm and you’re nice.” Scott replied, nuzzling into his neck. Matt tried to shake the thought of desperately wanting to stay out of his brain.</p>
<p>It didn’t work. Matt was overwhelmed with the need to free Scott’s face from his neck, to kiss him until he couldn’t breathe. To pin him to the mattress. To undress him slowly. To feel him writhing underneath him, to watch him grasp desperately at his headboard, to feel his tightness around him, to hear what noises he would make…</p>
<p>
  <em>Fuck…</em>
</p>
<p>“Scott, get off of me, now,” Matt said, placing his hands over Scott’s and prying them off of him before nearly pushing the other man off of the bed in his haste to get away. Scott fell sideways onto the bed with a small painful whimper.</p>
<p>“Jesus, Matt. Overreaction much?” Kirstie asked as she watched. Her eyes widened suddenly, however, when realization hit.</p>
<p>“Get me the fuck out of here,” Matt whispered to Kevin, desperately. “Or I’m gonna hurt him.”</p>
<p>Matt ran from the room so quickly, no one could register what was happening. Kevin ran after him, and Kirstie approached the bed where a dejected Scott lay.</p>
<p>“You okay, Scooter?” Kirstie asked, wondering if Scott had even registered what just happened. Perhaps it was better if he didn’t.</p>
<p>“Too clingy?” Scott asked, crinkling his nose.</p>
<p>Kirstie smiled fondly at the drunken dope. “Maybe. Let’s talk tomorrow, yeah?” She pulled back the covers and he clamored underneath. She kissed him on the forehead and grabbed Mitch’s hand, who was dozing while standing up, and she made sure to lock the door as they left.</p>
<p>Tyler was already drunkenly snoring on his bed, sprawled out on top of his comforter.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0016"><h2>16. Freshman Year, Part IV</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Second update of the day! I feel like I post too much, too often... Oh well. Here you go! There are two more parts of Freshman year to go, after this one!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Scott and Tyler flopped down at the breakfast table they all shared the next morning, feeling as horrible as the rest of them clearly felt.</p><p>“That was dumb,” Kirstie said, eyeing her orange juice like it was going to punch her in the face.</p><p>“Welcome to college,” Mitch offered, sounding equally as miserable as he picked at his dry cereal.</p><p>Scott looked towards Matt, and noticed that he was looking down at his food, refusing to make eye contact with anyone. Scott vaguely remembered making a slight fool of himself last night, and Matt’s demeanor this morning confirmed that he had crossed a line.</p><p>When the group stood to throw out their trash, Scott placed a hand on Matt’s tray.</p><p>“Can I keep you for a sec?” Scott asked, quietly. Matt looked frantically at the others, before clearly calming himself down and nodding, wordlessly. Kevin nodded back at them, and ushered the rest of the group out of the dining hall.</p><p>“I’m sorry,” Scott offered, his voice genuine and unsure of itself.</p><p>Scott expected Matt’s eyes to soften. Instead, they suddenly looked angry. “Don’t you dare,” Matt said, his tone unreadable.</p><p>Scott wracked his brain for reasons for that reaction. He knew he had made Matt uncomfortable, but he hadn’t expected that. Scott stared blankly at him, unable to form words for a moment, before taking a deep breath.</p><p>“Look, I know I was annoying…” Scott continued, and Matt’s fist clenched and pounded lightly on the table, causing Scott to flinch.</p><p>“What the hell, Scott?” Matt whispered, eyeing a small audience that he had formed with the noise.</p><p>“I’m… confused,” Scott admitted, searching Matt’s face.</p><p>“Do you always apologize for this shit?” Matt asked, his eyes narrowed.</p><p>“What shit?” Scott asked, growing more confused by my minute.</p><p>“Scott… what are you talking about?” Matt’s tone suddenly changed.</p><p>“I was clingy last night. I shouldn’t have latched onto you like that, or asked you to sleep in my bed… I know I made you uncomfortable…” Scott said, slowly, still extremely unsure of himself. Matt’s eyes softened as he listened to his words.</p><p>“Scott, that’s not what happened. You didn’t make me uncomfortable. Well… you did… but not in the way you think.”</p><p>Scott gave him a blank stare, so he continued. “I thought you knew, Scotty. I’m sorry. That’s why I just got mad at you. I… I was affected by you last night. And it scared the shit out of me, so I ran out. Then to hear you apologize…” Matt didn’t look at him.</p><p>“Oh…” Scott replied. It was all he could say.</p><p>“I understand if you don’t want to be alone with me anymore,” Matt said, still refusing to look Scott in the eye.</p><p>“Don’t be stupid,” Scott said, simply. Matt looked up, surprised, eliciting a small laugh out of Scott. “You knew how to stop it,” Scott shrugged. “You left. That’s what you’re supposed to do, before it gets too bad. Matt, I’m no less comfortable with you than I was 24 hours ago. I promise,” Scott said. “But I completely understand if you aren’t comfortable with being alone with me.”</p><p>Matt shook his head. “No… that’s not it. I guess I just hope that I react the same way each time… I’d never forgive myself if I hurt you, Scott.”</p><p>“I trust you,” Scott said, smiling. “Hungover movie day?”</p><p>Matt smiled back, nodding enthusiastically at the proposal. “Sounds perfect… as long as Mitch and Tyler don’t get to pick,” he said as they walked out the door.</p><p>“What, <em>Chicago</em> for the 18<sup>th</sup> time would be too much?” Scott asked, laughing.</p><p><em>Yeah, we’ll be okay</em>, Matt thought.</p><p> </p><p>And though Matt thought that maybe Scott was just telling him he trusted him to make him feel better, it became clear over the next couple of weeks that he really, truly did.</p><p>They were walking to the store at the edge of the village of their campus as the sun was setting. Tyler wanted pizza rolls, and Matt was feeling generous, so he offered to go get them. Scott tagged along, citing his need for a slurpie.</p><p>They talked casually, laughing easily and comfortably with one another.</p><p>Matt became hyper aware of a car that didn’t seem to want to pass them, moving slowly behind the pair as they walked along the sidewalk. Matt closed the distance between himself and Scott, and he reached for Scott’s hand. He glanced into Scott’s eyes, and saw that Scott’s fears matched his own. He gave his hand a squeeze, nonverbally indicating, “You’re safe with me.”</p><p>The car pulled slightly in front of them, before pulling over abruptly and slamming on the breaks. A man burst from the passenger side, holding a leather collar in his hands.</p><p>He was ginormous.</p><p>“Run!” Matt yelled, and yanked Scott to the left, crossing the street without looking for cars. Luckily, there were none. They dropped the contents in their hands on the sidewalk as they sprinted. All Matt could hear was his blood pumping frantically in his head, and the slapping of his and Scott’s feet against the pavement.</p><p>It felt like they ran forever, past people who didn’t seem to care. They felt the looming presence of the man behind them as they took a detour down an alleyway.</p><p>He prayed that Scott had stamina. Luckily, so far, Scott was proving that he had plenty.</p><p>He yanked Scott to the right, down a smaller alley, as the distance between them and the giant man had increased enough. He threw Scott against the wall behind a dumpster, and pressed his body against him, clasping a hand over Scott’s mouth as he panted for air. If they remained perfectly still here, Matt knew they were hidden.</p><p>He would be removed from Scott’s body with a vice, and nothing less, he vowed to himself, as he felt the taller man’s heart pounding against his own chest.</p><p>Matt begged his own breathing to <em>quiet the fuck down, </em>as footsteps slowly approached. He clenched his eyes shut and the hand that wasn’t over Scott’s mouth clenched the hem of Scott’s t-shirt in a tight ball. Matt prayed to God that this man wouldn’t find them and take Scott away.</p><p>The footsteps came closer. “Come out, come out, wherever you are, beautiful,” a low voice sang. “You’ll earn me quite a little fortune when I find you.” The snapping of the leather collar rang through the alley, and Matt mentally prepared himself to fight this man to the death if necessary.</p><p>The footsteps retreated a few minutes later, winding down the labyrinth of alleyways behind the buildings of the village. Matt finally withdrew his hand from Scott’s mouth, and couldn’t refrain from pulling him into a bone-crushing hug. “Let’s go,” Matt whispered, hastily brushing tears off of his cheeks that he hadn’t even realized he had been shedding. Scott nodded, a blank look on his face that was haunting.</p><p>They rushed home, looking over their shoulders and dipping down alleys and driveways whenever possible until they were back on campus grounds.</p><p>“Shit,” Scott said as they approached the dorm building. Matt’s heart was still in his throat as he searched Scott’s face, frantically. “The pizza rolls,” Scott added, looking around the ground. “And my slurpie.” Scott looked at him blankly before breaking into a smile. “Sorry. Thought I’d break the tension.”</p><p>“You’re an ass. You almost get killed and you’re making jokes about snacks.” Matt replied, shaking his head, unable to contain the smile that graced his lips.</p><p>“Shit. Now they know your location,” Chris said the following day, slapping a hand to his forehead with frustration on his end of the FaceTime call. “How did they know there was a sécor in town?”</p><p>The group paused, silently looking at each other for answers. Kevin shrugged his shoulders. Mitch suddenly gasped.</p><p>“Scott. Your Facebook.”</p><p>Chris’ eyes flashed with anger. “What about his Facebook?”</p><p>“That’s how I knew he was enrolled at USC. It says it on his profile, and that part of the profile is public.” Mitch began his explanation loudly and confidently, but it devolved into a whisper as Mitch felt Scott’s frantic gaze on him as he explained further.</p><p>“Delete your Facebook, <em>now,” </em>Chris hissed.</p><p>“I’ll make it private,” Scott mumbled, reaching for his laptop.</p><p>“<em>Delete it.”</em></p><p>Scott rolled his eyes, but complied.</p><p>“They’re going to keep looking for you. They won’t go onto campus. Scott, you need to be extremely careful.” Scott could tell that it was taking every ounce of Chris’s self-restraint not to yell at him.</p><p>“Any word on Tom?” Tyler asked. Chris simply shook his head in reply.</p><p>“We’ll make sure no one gets their hands on these two,” Kevin said, confidently.</p><p>Chris’ eyes softened. “Thank you. You have no idea how much it helps to hear that.”</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0017"><h2>17. Freshman Year, Part V</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Ugh, This one's sad, guys. Just watch their new video for 12 Days of Christmas when you're done. That'll cheer you right up.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“I need a drink,” Kirstie muttered, throwing her bag on Scott’s desk haphazardly one Friday evening a few months later. "I know they say a theater major is a joke, but I'm exhausted."</p><p>“Me too! I had my last final today, too!” Tyler exclaimed. Tyler and Kirstie had been the last two to have finals this week. Now they were all done.</p><p>“Me too. I’m losing my mind, not leaving campus,” Scott sighed. Tyler nodded frantically next to him.</p><p>“Still have that tequila?” Kirstie asked, crawling under Tyler’s bed without waiting for an answer.</p><p>‘Let’s gooooooo!” Tyler chanted as she pulled out the bottle, victoriously.</p><p>They passed it around in a circle, and Scott was starting to feel warm and numb all at the same time. A knock on the door made Kirstie gasp, comically. Tyler lost it then, and doubled over with laughter. Rolling his eyes, Scott took it upon himself to open the door.</p><p>“Hey, you guys getting hungry? No one has said anything about wanting dinner…” Matt started, but trailed off as he was pulled into the room quickly before Scott shut the door. Kirstie held the bottle out to their new entrant.</p><p>“Oh, so this is dinner?” Matt asked, raising an eyebrow.</p><p>“It’s nutritious,” Tyler replied, shrugging.</p><p>Matt took a swig of the tequila, and crossed his eyes. “That’s awful,” he muttered.</p><p>Within the next two hours, Mitch and Kevin had joined in the festivities, and the bottle was gone. </p><p>“No, I want more!” Kirstie shouted, turning the bottle over in her hands, pretending to look for the last drops.</p><p>“Phi Kappa is having a party. We could go steal some booze,” Mitch shrugged.</p><p>“Ooooor…” Tyler started, “We could go and just enjoy the party?”</p><p>“No way. I’m not drunk enough to go along with that idea,” Kevin argued. He looked around to the others, who were all looking slightly disappointed, including Matt. “Oh, come on, Matt. You know it’s a bad idea.”</p><p>“I think we could make it work. We can protect them,” Matt replied, even as he felt Kevin’s glare.</p><p>Kevin searched the other faces, but knew that he was alone here. Everyone was drunk and wanted to continue to be. “Fine. But ground rules. Tyler, you stay with me, and Scott, you stay with Matt. We are the only ones allowed to fill your drinks. We can shift around as the night goes on if we need to, but that’s how it starts. And we keep a low profile. Yes?” Everyone nodded in agreement. “Fine. Two hours.”</p><p>Tyler clapped happily and sprung to his feet, leaving the room before the rest had even fully stood. “Of course I get the difficult one,” Kevin muttered, chasing the smaller blond.</p><p> </p><p>“I also want to add that I’m only okay with this because this frat house is right on the edge of campus,” Kevin added as they descended the stairs to the frat basement. The air was thicker down here, and the temperature was ten degrees warmer than it had been outside. The music was deafening, and so were the shouts and cheers from their classmates.</p><p>Kirstie pulled on Mitch’s arms, and they immediately began to dance in the center of the room, among a sea of sweaty bodies.</p><p>“Drink?” Matt asked Scott, wrapping his hand around the blond’s wrist. Scott smiled and nodded.</p><p>Tyler was dancing on top of the bar when they found him an hour later. So much for keeping a low profile. Scott smiled as he made eye contact with Kevin, who was shaking his head and rolling his eyes repeatedly, standing directly below the man who had become his chore for the evening.</p><p>Matt panicked when he felt Scott being tugged away from his grasp, but breathed a sigh of relief when he saw that it was Kirstie. She led Scott to the center of the dance floor and they began dancing. Matt watched, feeling slightly awkward, but his eyes narrowed when an older looking guy with Phi Kappa letters began to dance his way behind Scott, with a dangerous look in his eyes… not affected, but predatory. Matt didn’t like it.</p><p>“Hey babe, there you are!” Matt yelled as he closed the distance between himself and Scott, pressing his front to Scott’s back, exactly where this man had planned on going, he was sure. Scott became rigid against him for a moment until he realized who it was, and then he pressed backwards against his friend’s torso, clearly understanding that Matt did this for a reason. Matt shot a glare towards the older man, and watched as he rolled his eyes and moved away.</p><p>Matt could have moved away, then, but this was part of his job, right? He was supposed to be keeping Scott safe. Keeping other men from dancing with him like this was part of the job. Sure, it hadn’t been in Kevin’s job description, but who was Matt to take away the chance for Scott to dance like this?</p><p>
  <em>Especially when Scott was so good at this…</em>
</p><p>Matt worried for a moment that he would have to head for the door. He shook his head to rid himself of the thoughts of Scott, but then he realized that there were two different types of thoughts that he had when it came to this particular sécor:</p><p>
  <em>Type 1: You’re affected, and you need to get the fuck out.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Type 2: You have a crush, you dope.</em>
</p><p>This was Type 2.</p><p>Scott turned to face him a moment later, their bodies still pressed against one another. Matt could feel his heart start to race as Scott leaned towards his ear.</p><p>“Protecting me from someone?” Scott asked. There was a hint of something in his voice that Matt couldn’t place.</p><p>“Yeah. Phi Kap. Your 9:00.” Matt watched as Scott turned to look as they continued to dance, nodding slightly once he saw him and pressing himself closer to Matt. Matt reached a protective hand around Scott’s waist, resting on the small of his back. “He hasn’t stopped watching you.”</p><p>“Make him stop,” Scott whined, nuzzling into Matt’s shoulder, still dancing and pressed up to some… delicate places on Matt’s body. “I have an idea,” Scott continued as he looked up, with a strange look in his eyes.</p><p>“Name it,” Matt growled, still eyeing the man, wondering if he should just go over and punch him.</p><p>“Kiss me?” Scott asked, smiling.</p><p>“I beg your pardon?” Matt asked, his voice abnormally high.</p><p>“Then he’ll think I’m taken,” Scott shrugged, grinning now.</p><p>“I’m not kissing you, Scott.” Matt argued, feeling his breathing becoming shallow at the thought.</p><p>“Fine. Mitch will kiss me,” Scott placed his hands on Matt’s chest, moving to push away.</p><p>“Wait, wait, wait,” Matt said, wrapping his arms tighter around the blond.</p><p>
  <em>Kevin’s gonna kill me.</em>
</p><p>His hand found Scott’s jaw and pulled him close, their lips meeting in a slow, sensual kiss as their bodies slowed down, swaying back and forth much too slowly for the music that was blaring. Matt’s tongue collided with Scott’s, and Scott’s hand trailed around to the back of Matt’s neck, making him shiver. The kiss could have lasted for seconds or minutes, Matt had no idea.</p><p>“That should do it,” Scott whispered as they broke for air, eyeing the corner where the man had been. He was gone. “You’re a good babysitter,” Scott teased, smiling handsomely.</p><p>“That sounds <em>so bad, </em>Scott,” Matt replied, laughing, finding it hard to let Scott go from his arms.</p><p>“Okay, we need to go. This is a shit show. Full blown. I’m over you guys.” Kevin said, trying to sound stern but failing as he smiled knowingly at Matt.</p><p> </p><p>The next morning, a hungover Mitch and Kirstie walked to Starbucks, promising to return with drinks for their friends.</p><p>That was like… 2 hours ago.</p><p>Kevin was pacing in Tyler and Scott’s dorm, and it was making Scott increasingly uncomfortable. </p><p>“Where the hell could they be? And why aren’t they answering their phones?”</p><p>“Let’s go.” Scott said, standing up from the bed and putting his shoes on.</p><p>“Where?” Kevin asked.</p><p>“To Starbucks,” Scott replied, as though it was a simple answer.</p><p>“Absolutely not. Matt and I will go. You two stay here.”</p><p>“Yeah, no. Come on, Tyler.” Tyler groaned from under his covers, still too hungover to function. “Or not. Come on, then.” Kevin and Matt followed closely behind as they left the room, quickly, locking Tyler in the room behind them.</p><p>They walked with Scott between them. They looked as though their heads were on swivels as they walked, scoping out cars for any potential danger.</p><p>“There’s Kirstie!” Kevin nearly shouted, pointing to the upcoming street corner.</p><p>“Kirst!” Matt yelled, waving. Kevin stopped, and held Scott back, as he read Kirstie’s face.</p><p>Kirstie laid eyes on Scott, her eyes widening and brimming with tears, suddenly. She shook her head frantically… <em>warningly</em>.</p><p>“Wait here,” Kevin told Matt, and left the two to close the gap to Kirstie. Matt felt a lump in his throat. He didn’t want to be here alone with Scott again, and he hoped Kevin would come back with Kirstie soon.</p><p>Scott became impatient after a couple of minutes, as Kirstie cried into Kevin’s chest and the two of them could do nothing more than watch from a distance, so Scott walked swiftly towards them, and Matt followed, cursing under his breath.</p><p>“What happened?” Scott asked, his voice shaking. “Where’s Mitch?”</p><p>Silence.</p><p>“WHERE IS MITCH?”</p><p>“I’m going to call the police. Kirstie said some guys took him down there…” Kevin looked down the same alleyways that Matt and Scott had come to know so well that day.</p><p>Before Kevin could finish the story, Scott had taken off down the alley.</p><p>“Scott, stop!” Kirstie screamed as they all took off running after him.</p><p>Scott came to a halt, giving the other three a moment to catch up.</p><p>“Good job, <em>Kirstin</em>. You brought him right to us. I knew this one would be good bait.” A large man stated, holding onto Mitch tightly. Mitch was crying silently, his tears streaming down his face.</p><p>Matt would know this man anywhere. He shouldn’t have been surprised to see him, but here he was, shocked.</p><p>The other man took Mitch into his arms as the larger one took a collar out of his back pocket, approaching the other four, slowly and menacingly. Matt and Kevin stepped in front of Scott, instinctively.</p><p>“Okay. I see. I remember you,” He said, looking at Matt. “You were the one to helped him slip away last time. Nicely done. But here’s the thing. Mitchy, here,” he began, looking at Mitch, “And yes, I know all of your names, because we’ve been following each of you when you’re off campus…” their eyes widened. They had never thought of the fact that they shouldn’t leave campus, either. They thought Scott and Tyler had been the only ones to worry about. “But Mitchy here… he’s going to come with us… or we can take what we really want, which is Scott Hoying over there,” he said, pointing the collar in Scott’s direction.</p><p>“You can’t take Mitch. That’s kidnapping,” Kevin argued, his voice low and threatening.</p><p>“That’s cute that you think we operate completely legally,” the man holding Mitch snickered.</p><p>“But maybe he’s right. Maybe we shouldn’t kidnap him,” The larger man reasoned again, turning to face the pair as Mitch squirmed. “Maybe we should just kill him here and be done with it.” The man took out a knife and moved towards Mitch. All four of the others were frozen in place, watching in horror, trying to come up with something as Mitch stood with his eyes clenched shut.</p><p>The feeling of leather around Scott’s neck broke him from his trance. He didn’t remember making a noise, but it must have been a whimper of some sort, because Kirstie, Kevin and Matt turned to look at him, frantically and all at once.</p><p>“Let him go!” Kevin yelled, prying the newcomer away from his friend. The third man stepped away, smiling, knowing that his work had already been done. Mitch was let go unceremoniously, and he fell to his knees with a thud.</p><p>Matt pried at the leather around Scott’s neck messily. He knew what the collar meant. He knew that they didn’t stand a chance now. “No, no, no…” Matt was muttering. “No, no, no, no…”</p><p>The larger man came around the back of Scott, and wrapped his arms around him, lifting his t-shirt and running his hands across Scott's abdomen, appreciatively.  Only then could Matt bring himself to look into Scott’s eyes. They were blank, like Scott was trying to turn off all emotion. Like he was giving up.</p><p>“Don’t fucking touch him,” Mitch growled, his eyes filling with tears again. The man laughed, and palmed Scott through his jeans with his other hand.</p><p>“Say goodbye,” the man snarled. Matt tried to scream for help, but then, everything went black.</p><p>Kevin awoke first, blinking in the sunlight. The two men must have hit them all in the head while they were focused on Scott. He reached up to feel the bump on the back of his head, and looked down at his friends.</p><p>There were only three of them. Kevin was overcome with emotion at that realization and doubled over, retching over the pavement below.</p><p>A groan snapped him out of his sickness, and he helped Matt to sit up. Mitch and Kirstie came to when they heard the noise.</p><p>Matt was on his feet suddenly. “We have to go get him,” He whispered, and looked as though he was about to run.</p><p>“Matt… he’s gone.” Kevin said, softly. He watched his friend’s eyes fill with tears.</p><p>“We can get him back…” Matt said, his voice squeaking.</p><p>“It’s been over an hour. They could be anywhere,” Kirstie whispered, looking down at the clock on her phone, like it was taunting her.</p><p>“Is that… Scott’s?” Mitch asked, approaching an iPhone that lay on the pavement close by, next to a wallet.</p><p>“They probably didn’t want a chance of tracking,” Kevin said, robotically. He couldn’t wrap his head around the fact that they had taken him.</p><p>
  <em>They’re going to sell him.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Then he’ll be abused, raped… tortured.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>They may have started already.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>And then… he’ll break.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>We may never see him again.</em>
</p><p>Matt snapped him out of his thoughts as he fell to the ground again with a wail. It was the sound of a heart breaking, of that Kevin was sure.</p><p>Mitch was rocking next to him, with his head in his hands.</p><p>They were hopeless. </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0018"><h2>18. Freshman Year, Part VI</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Not much to say about this one, other than that I'm sorry, once again. :(</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“There must be <em>something </em>you can do,” Rick Hoying yelled into the phone, pacing in his son’s dorm later that night. “You listen to me… UGH!” he hung up and threw the phone on the bed, his face an unhealthy shade of dark red.</p><p>“When we were at Arsdale, they told us that no one would help if we are ever taken…” Tyler’s soft voice spoke after a moment of silence. Kirstie whimpered, and Matt pulled her close.</p><p>“Excuse me. This is our friend from Arsdale… I should take this,” Tyler started, standing with his eyes fixated on his phone. Rick and Connie stood.</p><p>“You stay in here. I’m going to go make some more calls and we are going to go to the police station,” Rick said, and they turned to leave without another word.</p><p>Tyler sighed and accepted the FaceTime call.</p><p>“Hey. You said you needed to talk. Everything okay?” Chris’s face looked concerned as he looked at Tyler’s tearstained face. “Show me Scott.” Tyler knew that Chris was on to him already. He suddenly found himself unable to make eye contact. “I said… show me Scott.” Chris’ voice was low and serious, as Niall came into the shot, looking frightened.</p><p>“He… guys, I can’t,” Tyler whimpered, looking to Kirstie. She reached for the phone, but Kevin intercepted it.</p><p>“Chris… Niall… I am so sorry we have to tell you…” Kevin’s voice was trembling, and he cursed himself for it. “Scott was… taken… this morning.” Kevin watched as the man’s eyes turned cold. This was one terrifying man.</p><p>“No. No, YOU looked me in the eye and told me that YOU were going to keep him safe, so please tell me how the HELL that happened, Kevin,” Chris’ voice was booming through the phone, and Kevin clenched his eyes shut, feeling nothing but shame.</p><p>Chris was absolutely right.</p><p>Scott was gone. Scott might die, and Kevin had a lot to do with it.</p><p>“I’m… so sorry,” Kevin’s voice was even shakier now, and he chaotically wiped at the tears that were streaming down his face. “We were… tricked… the collar was around his neck before I could even think…”</p><p>“Stop explaining yourself, Kev,” Mitch spoke up now. “You don’t have to. You did everything you could. You all did. Those men are professionals and they know what they’re doing. There was no way a bunch of MINORS were going to get out of that. So, YOU…” Mitch took the phone in his hands, “…need to back the fuck off.” His eyes were narrow as he stared down the haunting blue eyes.</p><p>But those blue eyes reminded him too much of Scott’s and suddenly he was crying, too.</p><p>“Please protect Tyler,” Chris whispered, breaking down in tears as well.</p><p> </p><p>The summer was tough for all of them. Kirstie just wanted to be in Arlington with Mitch, but her parents were livid that she had reconnected with the same friends from whom they had worked so hard to remove her. Kevin and Matt had returned home as well, to Kentucky and Maryland, respectively. Tyler had gone to stay with Chris and Niall for the summer, needing to be surrounded by the people who made him feel the safest.</p><p>Kirstie was lonely.</p><p>Mitch was numb.</p><p>Matt was heartbroken.</p><p>Kevin was shameful.</p><p>Tyler was waiting for his turn.</p><p>The worst part for all of them was trying to sleep. They were each plagued with thoughts of what Scott might be going through, thoughts of his mental and physical state, thoughts of whether or not he was even alive.</p><p> </p><p>Scott was pretty sure his kneecaps shattered as he was thrown on the stone floor. He struggled to remain upright, with his hands tied behind his back, shirtless, blindfolded and gagged.</p><p>He thought back to the thumbnails on that website he had seen when he was in middle school. Would he end up on that website? He shivered.</p><p>The blindfold was ripped off of his head and a young man, around 21 years old, sank to his knees in front of him.</p><p>“Isn’t he pretty?” a low voice behind him asked. “I paid three times the average price for this one. What do you think?” A pair of hands removed the cloth from Scott’s mouth.</p><p>The man in front of him raised a hand to cup his cheek. “Those eyes,” he muttered. “Fuck, those eyes…”</p><p>“All yours. Happy Birthday.”</p><p>The man in front of him smiled. “I’ll take good care of you, beautiful.”</p><p>Silence, followed by a loud <em>crack </em>and Scott instantly tasted blood.</p><p>“What do you say to me?” the man asked, rubbing his hand.</p><p>Scott swallowed his blood, looking up at the man above him.</p><p>“Easy, kiddo. This one is brand new. He might not know,” the low voice said, laughing gently.</p><p>“Yeah, he looks like a baby. How old?”</p><p>“Eighteen, I’m told.”</p><p>The man in front of him licked his lips. “Call me Master,” he snarled. “When I say something, you say, ‘Yes, Master,’ or ‘Thank you, Master,’ understood?”</p><p>Scott thought he might throw up. He really, <em>really </em>didn’t want to be hit again.</p><p>“Yes, Master.”</p><p>“Sweet little voice you have, beautiful.” The man smiled and stood, lifting Scott to his feet as well. “Let’s show you to our bed.”</p><p> </p><p>Scott sat on the bay window a few weeks later, looking blankly at the landscape, trying to determine where the hell he even was. It was hot out, he knew that. But it was July now, so that could be pretty much anywhere. It reminded him of the weather in southern California, however, and he didn’t remember being transported too far. Maybe he was blocks from his college campus. He had no clue.</p><p>He wasn’t doing well. He was well aware of that. It was hard to move, considering how often his new master was… using him… daily.</p><p>
  <b>
    <strong>Scott’s breaking threshold: &gt;67.</strong>
  </b>
</p><p>He thought back to his class at Arsdale, trying to plan his next move.</p><p>
  <em>“If you’re sold, should you fight?” Mr. Bartes asked.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“No,” the class chorused.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Why not?” Bartes asked.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Tom raised his hand. Bartes nodded in his direction. “Fighting back will only make them want to break you faster. It’s better to be submissive, in the hopes that they might actually begin to empathize with you, or even better, to fall in love with you.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Bartes nodded. “Who wants to tell us about Stockholm Syndrome, and how it can affect sécors differently?” This time, Jesse raised his hand.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“The traditional definition of Stockholm Syndrome is that it is a psychological response. It occurs when hostages or abuse victims bond with their captors or abusers. ... With this syndrome, hostages or abuse victims may come to sympathize with their captors.” Jesse said, expertly. “But with sécors, it isn’t enough to prevent approaching their threshold. The physical response remains the same, you are still in fight or flight, so just because you feel ‘in love’ with your captor, and even if you convince yourself that sex with them is consensual… your body knows it isn’t. So, you can’t trick yourself into preventing approaching your breaking threshold.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Well… there’s another sucky detail.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“So, what’s your best hope? Let’s say you’re sold. What do you do?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“You become as submissive as possible. You wait for a moment of weakness on the part of your captor, and then you run. You run fast. Once you are off of their property and that collar is off, they have no right to you,” Chris chimed in. Bartes nodded.</em>
</p><p>So here Scott was, locked in a room, with no chains, no ropes… just a lock on the door. The windows opened, he knew that… but there was no point in running when he had this collar on. His captor had deemed him safe to be able to roam the room within the first week. Scott was doing exactly what he had learned. He touched his collar gently. It was tight and painful.</p><p> </p><p>Three months after being sold, at the end of August, he heard his master enter the house late at night, with a loud commotion.</p><p>“He’s this way. You only touch when I tell you that you can. Got it?”</p><p>Scott tensed. His master had never brought anyone back before. He had kept him completely to himself. The door swung open, and two men flanked either side of his master.</p><p>“Come here,” his master snarled.</p><p>“Yes, Master,” Scott replied, standing up and crossing the floor.</p><p>“Fuck, how’d you get one this pretty?” One of his companions asked, his eyes dark.</p><p>“Whoever said money can’t buy you happiness was full of shit,” his master replied, kissing Scott aggressively. “On the bed.”</p><p>“Yes, Master,” Scott replied, trying to keep his voice as steady as possible as he sat on the edge of the bed. His heart was pounding, and he might be sick. Or pass out. He wasn’t entirely sure, yet.</p><p>His master approached him with his two friends in tow, smirking. “Take off your clothes.”</p><p>“Why do you let him wear clothes at all?” His friend asked as Scott removed his clothes.</p><p>“Dignity, ass-wipe. I don’t want him breaking, yet,” His master replied.</p><p>“What? Why? They feel better when they’re broken.”</p><p>“Because he feels fucking amazing already, and I don’t want him killing himself and leaving me with nothing!”</p><p>The friend shut up at the sound of his master’s raised voice. The other friend looked at Scott’s now naked body, hungrily.</p><p>“Lay down, baby,” his master said, his voice laced with a fake softness. Scott complied, and was immediately pulled by his ankles so his legs hung off the edge of the bed.</p><p>Scott shut his eyes as he heard his master’s fly open and he plunged into him with no warning.</p><p>“Yeah, he feels plenty amazing,” his master grunted as he thrusted into him again and again.</p><p>“Can I… can I touch?” the quieter friend asked. His master looked like he was mulling it over for a moment as he fucked him harshly.</p><p>“You can kiss him, for now. Watch your hands, nothing below the chest while I’m inside of him.” His master looked into Scott’s eyes. “You kiss back, like a good boy.”</p><p>“Yes, Master.”</p><p>Scott closed his eyes and tried to picture anyone else kissing him. Like… literally <em>anyone </em>else. This man tasted like whiskey and cigarettes. Scott’s stomach began to churn as the man’s hands wandered over the top half of his body, settling on rolling Scott’s nipples between his fingers.</p><p>His master tensed and grunted, finishing inside of him and pulling out.</p><p>“I’m getting a glass of water. Do what you want. Within reason,” he said as he pulled out, tucking himself back into his jeans before leaving him there with them.</p><p>Somehow, this made Scott feel betrayed. He had thought he was getting through to his master, like maybe, he was softening him.</p><p>Scott supposed not, as the louder friend entered him, painfully.</p><p>“Jesus. I guess he’s right. So fucking good,” he grunted, pounding into Scott quickly and haphazardly. “Choke him,” he ordered the quieter friend.</p><p>The friend complied, wrapping his hand around Scott’s throat and squeezing.</p><p>“Fuck, yeah, just like that,” the loud one said, quickening his pace even further.</p><p>Scott’s vision was starting to go black as he gasped for air.</p><p>“Slap him.”</p><p>Another <em>crack, </em>and Scott tasted blood again. At least the man had released his throat. But then, the hand was back and squeezing his windpipe again.</p><p>“Fuck, yeah, so close.”</p><p>Scott was absolutely convinced that he was going to die in the next thirty seconds. No air was getting into his lungs, whatsoever. He knew he must be turning purple. He looked at the loud one, who looked more turned on than ever, grasping his hips until his skin throbbed.</p><p>“What the FUCK?” a loud voice echoed through the room. The quiet friend released his neck, and he gasped for air, frantically, thinking his lungs might actually pop from over-inflation as he tried to remember how to breathe.</p><p>The loud one was ripped from Scott and thrown to the ground. “You trying to kill him? Get the fuck out!”</p><p>Scott clenched his eyes shut, trying desperately to breathe normally as he heard the shuffle of two bodies leaving the room.</p><p>“You okay, baby?” a soft voice asked, and Scott felt a light touch on his neck again.</p><p><em>No, no… please, not again, </em>Scott thought, anxiously.</p><p>The touch was light, trailing along his collar. Then, soft lips were kissing him along the leather as well.</p><p>“I shouldn’t have left you with those animals. I’m sorry, baby,” he said again, softly. It wasn’t fake softness, either. Scott was confident in his ability to read this man now.</p><p>He placed another soft kiss on Scott’s skin, just below the crook of his neck. Scott pondered for a moment, and figured it was time to make some more progress.</p><p>“Thank you, Master.” He added a tremble to his voice for good measure.</p><p>“You like that? You like gentle? I can do gentle.” His master replied, trailing kisses all along his jawline, down his neck, around his chest, and back up again.</p><p>“I can fuck you gently, too,” he whispered.</p><p>“Yes please, Master,” Scott lied. He was proud of himself for the seductive tone he was able to come up with.</p><p>And then, he lay there, trying to make as many pleasurable noises as possible, as his master showed him how gentle he could be.</p><p>The next morning, Scott awoke to the sound of a sharp intake of breath. He opened his eyes to see his master rubbing his eyes, warily, before turning his gaze to Scott’s face and neck.</p><p>“Baby… you’re so bruised,” his master grumbled, trailing his finger down Scott’s throat again. His master’s eyes widened when he eyed the top of his head. “No… no.” His master’s voice was frantic as his hands ran over Scott’s scalp.</p><p>Scott knew what he must be looking at.</p><p>Scott knew that he was breaking.</p><p>
  <b>
    <strong>Scott’s breaking threshold: =156.</strong>
  </b>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0019"><h2>19. Sophomore Year, Part I</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This one was an interesting one to write. Honest opinions! &lt;3</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Scott would have thought he would have been full of panic at this point, but he simply lay there, watching as his master frantically bounded off of the bed and left the room. He returned a minute later, holding a key in one hand and ropes in the other.</p><p>“I’m gonna let you breathe for a bit, baby. But I have to tie you down, okay?” Scott almost felt sorry for the man. He looked devastated.</p><p>“Yes, Master.”</p><p>He held his wrists up above his head as the man tied him to the headboard. Then, he tilted his head back to grant him access to his throat as his master used the key on his collar for the first time. His master held the same look on his face: concern and worry.</p><p>“There. Better?”</p><p>“Yes, Master. Thank you, Master.”</p><p>And it did feel good, as the skin on his throat felt actual air on it for the first time in nearly three months. His master leaned forward, blowing cool air on the red, angry mark.</p><p>“I’m gonna go… see… what I can do for you…” his master muttered, scrambling off of the bed and grabbing his phone before shutting Scott in the room by himself, laying there, tied up and breaking.</p><p>Scott knew what he had to do. They had had a workshop at Arsdale for escaping ropes, as sad as that sounded. He clenched his eyes shut, willing himself to do what was necessary to escape.</p><p>He bit his lip, extracting blood as he refrained from screaming, just as he dislocated his thumb.</p><p>Once dislocated, he was able to wriggle it out of the constricting rope. He then used that free hand to unravel the other. Sitting up quickly, he popped the thumb back into place, whimpering softly, thankful that he was able to keep quiet.</p><p>He rushed to his feet, padding around the room as quietly as possible as he dressed himself and ran to his master’s sock drawer, pulling out a wad of cash that he had seen him pull from several times before.</p><p>Pocketing it, Scott ran to the window, opening it silently, and slipping out to the backyard.</p><p>Then, he ran.</p><p>Little did he know, his master watched him run through the backyard, into the trees. He gripped the dining chair in front of him, focusing on the blond man leaving his property.</p><p>“Run, baby,” the man muttered, before turning away, blinking back tears.</p><p> </p><p>A taxi pulled up to the train station a few miles away. Scott had made it this far without being seen. He supposed the snapback hat that he had stolen was helping to keep him incognito. So was running through random back yards…</p><p>“Where to?” the cab driver asked. Scott breathed a sigh of relief when the voice was female.</p><p>“How much to get to USC?” Scott asked. Judging by the name of the train station, he knew he was within an hour of the place.</p><p>“That’ll be $45.”</p><p>“Okay, USC, please.”</p><p>Scott must have fallen asleep during the journey, because the female voice was lulling him back into consciousness after what only felt like a couple of minutes.</p><p>“You’re here, sweetheart.” She said, softly. He handed her some cash.</p><p>“What’s today’s date?” Scott asked. The girl’s eyes flashed with a whole new level of concern.</p><p>“August 29th<sup>th</sup>,” she replied.</p><p>“Thank you,” Scott replied, and stepped out of the taxi. From what he remembered, classes must have started about a week ago.</p><p>Now, to figure out where his friends were living this year, and fast.</p><p>Scott stumbled on his feet every few steps. Breaking was painful at times, he noted.</p><p>He recognized a classmate from last year and approached him, trying not to cry at the sight of a familiar face.</p><p>“Hey, Scott! Good to see you! How you been?” Kyle asked, smiling genuinely.</p><p>“I’m good, a little late for school, I guess,” Scott replied, trying to laugh a bit. “I just got here. Was wondering if you knew where Matt and Kevin live? Or Mitch? Kirstie? Tyler?”</p><p>Kyle’s features shifted into a concerned smile. “Matt and Kevin live in my building, actually. I was wondering why I hadn’t seen you around. You okay?”</p><p>“I’m good. Family stuff. Do you know their room number?”</p><p>“I’m heading back now. Just come with me.”</p><p>Scott mulled it over for a minute, and decided to take his chances. There were enough people around, he presumed.</p><p>“Here you go, 218. Take care of yourself, okay?” Scott smiled and nodded, watching Kyle disappear behind a door close by before taking a deep breath and knocking.</p><p>He prayed they were home. He didn’t want to be alone anymore. His heart stopped when the door opened a minute later.</p><p>Kevin silently stared at him, looking utterly emotionless. Scott shifted uncomfortably from foot to foot, trying to maintain eye contact, but feeling pressure to look down.</p><p>“Who is it?” Kirstie’s pretty voice asked. Scott missed that voice.</p><p>Scott was lifted off of the ground in a moment’s time, and Kevin sobbed into his shoulder as he lifted him into his arms, effectively carrying him through the threshold.</p><p>“Shit,” Tyler sobbed, bounding off of Matt’s bed and throwing himself at Scott.</p><p>“Careful, careful,” Kevin whispered. “I see bruises already.”</p><p>Everyone carefully hugged him after that.</p><p>“You’re skinny,” Mitch muttered into his chest as he wrapped his arms around him.</p><p>Scott laughed. “Takes one to know one.”</p><p>It felt weird to speak words other than “Yes, Master.” His throat wasn’t used to it, and it stung with the use of his voice.</p><p>“How? How are you here?” Matt asked, wrapping him in a hug that both of them knew was too tight, but neither one of them minded.</p><p>“I escaped this morning… but I have a problem.” Scott tried to keep his voice even, but it cracked with his last word.</p><p>It was as though Tyler read his mind, and he ripped the hat off of his head. The group gasped, and Mitch sobbed loudly.</p><p>“No.” Kirstie said, unable to find any other words.</p><p>“Help?” Scott asked, searching everyone’s face for an answer.</p><p>Kevin approached him slowly, taking the silver strands of hair in between his fingers. “How long do we have?” He asked, his voice barely above a whisper.</p><p>“About a week,” Tyler interjected. “Looks like it just started. Dare I ask what your threshold is?”</p><p>“About 156, give or take.” Scott’s voice was distant and matter-of-fact. There was no emotion tied to the words.</p><p>The group shuddered at the high number, knowing that he had left with a number in the single digits.</p><p>Tyler typed a google search into his phone, and began reading. “Process of Breaking: The final attack above the breaking threshold will result in one initial strip of silver hair. The breaking process progresses over the course of the following week, during which the silver hair will spread and the iris of the eyes will lose their color. The sécor will also become increasingly fatigued. Once these processes are finished, the sécor is officially “broken”. This process can be disrupted, however, if a human who is immune to the particular sécor pheromones engages in consensual sexual intercourse with the sécor. This may be difficult, as some humans believe that they are immune when they are not. This may lead to the breaking process occurring more quickly. Successful interruption of the breaking process is known as <em>fixing</em>. Once the Sécor is finished breaking, fixing them is no longer possible.”</p><p>“It’s Mitch or me…” Kevin said after a moment of silence. The group turned to look at him. “We’re the ones that can fix you, right? At least potentially? We know Matt’s been affected. Tyler can’t, and Kirstie can’t either.”</p><p>“Or you just think you can, but you’ll break him faster,” Tyler reasoned. “How sure are you that you’re immune to him?”</p><p>Kevin looked at Mitch, who was frantically shaking his head. “I can’t.”</p><p>“Why the hell not?” Kevin asked, his voice raising.</p><p>“I don’t know if I’m immune! What if I break him?”</p><p>“That’s the case for everyone, Mitch!”</p><p>“No… please don’t make me…”</p><p>Kevin wanted to shake the smaller man. He put his face in his hands before looking into Scott’s fading blue eyes. His eyes were terrifying Kevin more than anything else, almost as though the life was slowly leaving them. Kevin couldn’t allow that to happen.</p><p>“Let me fix you. Let me do it.”</p><p> </p><p>“What?” Chris asked, yawning, later that afternoon as he answered Tyler’s FaceTime call. His eyes widened when Scott’s face greeted him, still clad in his snapback hat. “Are you alright?” Chris’ voice was stern and full of concern, with no ounce of happiness in it.</p><p>“I’m okay…” Scott began, but Tyler cut him off by ripping the hat off of his head again.</p><p>“We need help.” Tyler said, coming into view of the screen. Chris let out a whimper upon seeing the silver streak of hair, which was uncharacteristic of him, to say the least.</p><p>“Kevin wants to fix him. Help us do it right.” Tyler added. Chris wiped his eyes before looking back into the camera.</p><p>“Where’s Kevin?” Chris asked after a moment. Kevin sat next to Scott and took the phone in his hands.</p><p>“You’re how sure that you’re immune?”</p><p>“Pretty damn sure.”</p><p>“You’ve never felt funny around him?”</p><p>“No… I don’t think so.”</p><p>“Okay…” Chris looked off screen, as though pondering how best to explain it. “The sooner you do it, the better. That way, if there was a mistake, we have time to try again. “You have to… you have to sleep with him. You know that?” Kevin nodded. “It has to be consensual. You have to ask him, and he has to verbally say yes. You both have to finish. Most importantly, you have to finish inside of him, and he has to finish around you. Okay?” Kevin took a large gulp of air and nodded again. He felt Matt’s gaze burning into him, but he refused to look up from the screen.</p><p>“Got it,” Kevin said, nodding again.</p><p>“Do it as soon as possible. And just know that his hair and eyes won’t immediately return to normal. So, don’t be scared if he looks the same right after. You may have to wait a while to see if it worked.”</p><p> </p><p>Scott spent the afternoon calling his parents and unpacking his stuff into Tyler’s dorm (Tyler had figured out a way to keep Scott’s spot available). He also showered, which felt incredible. He shaved the stubble that had formed on his jawline. It felt like a fresh start to have smooth skin there again. In the mirror, he placed his fingers over his neck, watching the bruises that lay there from the night before, and the large red mark from the collar.</p><p>They had decided to do this in Scott’s bed. This way, everyone else could wait in Mitch’s room, which was just across the hall. Scott had just finished dressing in a heavy sweatshirt and sweatpants when there was a knock on the door.</p><p>Why he was dressing so heavily, he wasn’t sure.</p><p>Kevin smiled softly as the door opened, and Scott stepped to the side to let him in. Tyler hopped off of his bed, stopping and kissing Scott on the cheek on his way out the door. Then, he turned towards Kevin.</p><p>“You remember everything Chris told you?” Tyler asked. Kevin nodded. “Be careful.” And with that, Tyler was gone. Scott looked at Kevin, and realized in that moment that he had never felt more awkward in his entire life, in his oversized sweatshirt, with no idea what to say.</p><p>“I’m so sorry…” Scott started, unable to make eye contact. “This is so unfair to you…” Kevin watched as Scott looked like he wanted to be sucked into the floor.</p><p>“Stop that,” Kevin whispered, closing the gap between them and running his hands up and down Scott’s arms. “Don’t you worry about me. Let’s get you healthy, okay? That’s all I care about.” Scott still wouldn’t look at him, so Kevin placed a hand under his chin, forcing him to. “I love you. You know that? It might not be in this way, but I would do anything for you.”</p><p>“I love you, too.” Scott whispered.</p><p>Kevin took him by the hand and wordlessly led him to the bed, sitting him on the edge, still feeling a bit awkward. For one, he knew that his best friend was across the hall, killing him in his mind. For another, he had no idea if Scott was even attracted to him. He had no idea if they could even make this work.</p><p>Kevin wished Matt could be the one to do this, but there was no part of him that felt like he didn’t want to fix Scott.</p><p>“I’m going to take your clothes off, okay?” Kevin asked, reaching for the hem of Scott’s sweatshirt. Scott nodded. “I need words.” Kevin said, softly, remembering what Chris had said earlier.</p><p>“Okay.” Scott replied, still struggling to look at him. Kevin’s heart broke. He knew that Scott didn’t want to do this. Looking into his eyes, Kevin doubted that Scott could be fixed. Kevin mulled this over as he removed the sweatshirt, and his eyes narrowed as he saw the bruising on Scott’s throat, as well as the hand-shaped bruises on his hips.</p><p>“Did he choke you?” Kevin asked, running his finger across the marks.</p><p>“His… his friend did.” Scott replied, softly. Kevin felt his hands clench into fists as he thought of Scott being shared like a toy.</p><p>Kevin removed his own shirt, and then pressed on Scott’s chest, laying him down, gently, before stripping him of his pants. He did the same to himself, not wanting Scott to feel dominated here in any way.</p><p>“This okay?” Kevin asked, before removing Scott’s underwear.</p><p>Scott nodded, then smiled when he realized that he wasn’t speaking again. “Yes, it’s okay.” He verbalized.</p><p>Kevin removed both of their underwear before crawling onto the bed on top of Scott. Looking down at him, he couldn’t deny that Scott was beautiful. He completely understood Matt’s crush on the man. He was stunning, with those blue eyes and muscular, lean body. Kevin frowned a bit when he realized that Scott was indeed a bit skinnier than when he left. Skin, bone, and a layer of muscle were all that was laid out below him.</p><p>Kevin reached for a bottle of lube and squeezed it into his hands, rubbing them together softly to warm it up. “I’m going to touch you, okay?”</p><p>“Okay.”</p><p>Kevin wrapped his hand around Scott’s soft cock, praying that he could turn Scott on enough for this to happen. Scott reached out to do the same to him, his face buried in the crook of Kevin’s neck as he leaned forward.</p><p>He didn’t expect it to feel this good, and he was hard in Scott’s hand in no time.</p><p>Scott was becoming hard as well, and his breath hitched against Kevin’s neck as his cock twitched in Kevin’s hand. Kevin became a bit more confident then, laying Scott flat and removing his hand from his own dick. He picked up the pace in which he pumped Scott’s length, and lifted his right leg.</p><p>“Gonna open you up now. Okay?”</p><p>“Okay.” Scott’s response was breathy, and it turned Kevin on even more, which surprised him.</p><p>Kevin squeezed a bit more lube onto his fingers, and reached between Scott’s legs. He was amazed at how tight Scott felt around his index finger. How had he not been torn open by these animals who had taken him?</p><p>Scott moaned and bit his own palm as a second finger entered him, scissoring him open.</p><p>Kevin fought the urge to kiss him. Somehow, that seemed to be too intimate. Kevin mentally laughed at that crazy rationale.</p><p>“Ready?”</p><p>“Ready.”</p><p>Kevin removed his fingers and placed himself at the blond’s entrance, groaning as he pushed forward. He saw stars for a minute, and reveled in how good it felt. Looking down at the man below him, he was relieved to see a look of pleasure on Scott’s face as well. He thrusted into him, slowly. He eyed the bruises on Scott’s hips, and placed his hands on the marks, which were exactly the same size as his hands. He kept his hands gently there, refraining from pressing on them to help him thrust.</p><p>“What can I do to make this better for you?” Kevin whispered into Scott’s ear.</p><p>“Feels good,” Scott replied, gruffly. “You can go harder. I won’t shatter.” Scott smirked.</p><p>Kevin couldn’t help it, and he gave Scott a soft kiss on his forehead before increasing his pace. Scott moaned in affirmation.</p><p>“Good?” Kevin asked, selfishly wanting to hear Scott more.</p><p>“Good, so good,” Scott nearly whimpered, clutching the sheets. “Gonna…”</p><p>“Go ahead.”</p><p>Kevin felt Scott clench around him and he saw stars again. Scott’s orgasm felt like it lasted minutes as he came over his own chest and stomach. Kevin thrusted through Scott’s orgasm, and finished within him shortly after. He collapsed against him, not immediately withdrawing.</p><p>“Want to make sure I don’t pull out too soon,” Kevin whispered, as he felt himself go soft before pulling out.</p><p>Kevin stood and ambled to the bathroom, grabbing a wet towel and returning to Scott’s bed, wiping the blond clean. Then, he threw clothes onto the bed next to him and began dressing himself.</p><p>“Kev?”</p><p>“Yes, Scott?”</p><p>“Thank you.”</p><p>Kevin smiled and placed another soft kiss on Scott’s forehead. “Anything for you, Scotty.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>So, here's hoping Kevin's sacrifice worked, and that Scott is fixed! I wanted to show how much Scott means to them, and how far they would go for him.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0020"><h2>20. Sophomore Year, Part II</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This is gonna be a long fic, guys. Hope you all stick around... :D</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Kevin returned to the room shortly after, with Kirstie, Mitch, Tyler, and Matt in tow. Scott was still on his bed, which was now made.</p><p>Kirstie crawled onto the bed first, embracing him and leaning into him. “You okay?”</p><p>“I’m okay,” he replied, placing a kiss on the top of her head.</p><p>Matt stood quietly on the other side of the room, leaned up against Tyler’s bed, refusing to make eye contact. Kevin approached him, quietly, while the rest of them spoke amongst themselves, waiting to see any change in Scott’s appearance.</p><p>“Can I borrow you in the hall?” Kevin asked, softly. Matt nodded, refusing to look at him They walked into the hallway, silently.</p><p>“Matt…”</p><p>“Don’t.”</p><p>“Don’t what?”</p><p>“Don’t try to make me feel better.”</p><p>“Better about what?”</p><p>“Are you dumb?”</p><p>“I like to think I’m the opposite, actually,” Kevin responded, a tone of warning in his voice.</p><p>Matt sighed, finally looking at Kevin. “You just had sex with someone I have feelings for. You just may have saved his life, and I couldn’t do jack shit to help him. Am I not allowed to be upset about any of this?”</p><p>Kevin’s eyes softened. He hadn’t realized just how painful this would be for Matt, to know what Kevin had been doing.</p><p>“I’m sorry, Matt. You know there are no feelings there between us. Scott doesn’t want me, if it’s any consolation.”</p><p>“Do you want him?” The words were accusatory.</p><p>“Do I what?”</p><p>“Do you <em>want him?” </em>Matt asked through clenched teeth.</p><p>“No. No, I don’t,” Kevin responded, trying to bring his friend back down to earth.</p><p>“Did you finish?” Matt asked. Kevin’s eyes narrowed. He knew that was the goal.</p><p>“Yes. I had to.”</p><p>“Did he?”</p><p>“Yes. Matt, <em>he had to.”</em></p><p>“Sounds like you have more feelings there than you thought.” Matt replied, simply, turning to go back into the room.</p><p>“Should I have let him break?” Kevin asked. Matt froze with his hand on the doorknob.</p><p>“No. No you shouldn’t have. But I don’t have to like it.”</p><p>And just like that, Kevin stood alone in the hallway, praying that something good would come from this, at least.</p><p>Scott was trembling when Kevin entered the room again.</p><p>“I d-don’t feel so well…” Scott muttered, reaching his hands out to grip the bed to steady himself where he sat on its edge. He was sweating.</p><p>“He’s burning up,” Kirstie whispered, her hand against his forehead.</p><p>“Call Chris, now.” Kevin ordered as he approached the bed. “Lay him down. On his side.”</p><p>Kevin looked over to Matt, who looked terrified. Kevin felt all of his animosity melt away and he placed a hand on his friend’s shoulder to ground him. Kevin heard Tyler speaking to Chris on FaceTime, but he couldn’t make out what they were saying.</p><p>What if he had accelerated the breaking process? Kevin would never forgive himself.</p><p>“Chris says this might actually be a good sign,” Tyler said as he hung up and came closer to his struggling friend. “His body is trying to fix itself. Sometimes it has to work extra hard, and this is what Chris thinks is happening.”</p><p>“So… that would mean that Kevin did it? It worked?” Mitch asked, hopefully.</p><p>“If this is what Chris thinks it is, then yes, that means it worked,” Tyler replied.</p><p>A groan from the bed startled them all. Matt crossed the floor and took Scott’s hand in his, rubbing his knuckles. “Can we make it hurt less?” His voice broke Kevin’s heart all over again. Kevin was feeling more guilty by the minute.</p><p>“It shouldn’t last long, since he wasn’t too far into breaking… but no, there’s no helping it,” Tyler replied, sadly.</p><p>Mitch curled up behind the taller body, wrapping his arms around his middle and placing a kiss on his shoulder. “It’ll be over soon. Then you’ll feel better than you have in a long time,” he whispered.</p><p>“What happens when he’s fixed? What happens with the threshold?” Matt asked, still holding Scott’s hand.</p><p>“It resets… back to zero. The threshold remains the same. So, we’ll have about 156 times before we could lose him again…”</p><p>“So, we’ll make sure that’s <em>never,” </em>Kevin growled.</p><p>“We’d better hope. Chris said there’s a chance that, since you’ve… been with him… you might start to feel affected by him. And if that’s the case… you won’t be able to fix him next time.”</p><p>“There won’t <em>be </em>a next time,” Matt argued through clenched teeth.</p><p>“Either way, Kevin, you should be on the lookout for any signs that you’re affected. You may not be immune, anymore…” Tyler started.</p><p>Mitch stopped to think about that. Maybe that’s what had happened to Alex…</p><p>Scott groaned again, and convulsed against Mitch’s body. Matt gripped Scott’s side to hold him in place.</p><p>“Shh, shh, it’s okay. You’re okay. It’ll be all over soon,” Matt whispered in the blond’s ear as he squirmed, rubbing Scott’s hip, gently. Kevin fought against telling him not to touch him there due to the bruises, but he didn’t want to add insult to injury, so he kept quiet. The last thing he wanted to do was to remind Matt that Scott had been naked underneath him a few minutes ago.</p><p>Scott emitted a mixture of a gargle and whimper, and Kirstie began to cry. Kevin reached for her, rubbing small circles on her back. “He’ll be fine.” Kevin closed his eyes, praying that he was right.</p><p>Scott’s body stilled and his eyes turned cloudy. “Scott?” Matt asked, frantically. “Scott?! Guys, he isn’t answering me…”</p><p>Kevin was at his side in a moment. “Absent seizure,” Kevin replied, cupping his cheeks and looking into Scott’s eyes. “Come on, bud…” Kevin pleaded with the blond who likely couldn’t even hear him.</p><p>The blue eyes cleared and Kevin breathed for the first time in what felt like an hour. “You with me?” Scott looked at him, still appearing to be far away. “I need words again, Scotty.”</p><p>“With you.” Scott muttered, looking as though he didn’t have full control of his mouth. “Sleep?”</p><p>“That’s fine. Chris said he would probably want to sleep it off,” Tyler replied from across the room.</p><p>“Can I stay?” Mitch asked from his place behind Scott. Kevin watched as Scott nodded, tiredly, and Mitch pulled the larger body closer.</p><p>“You call us if anything changes, yeah?” Kevin asked. Mitch and Tyler both nodded, and the other three left them, locking the door behind them on their way out.</p><p>“Matt?” Kevin asked as Matt unlocked their door, stepping inside their dorm. He turned, a frigid look on his face.</p><p>Kevin closed the gap between them, embracing him in his arms. “I’m so sorry.” Kevin continued.</p><p>He felt arms wrap around him in return, and he breathed a sigh of relief.</p><p>“Thank you… if you saved him… just… thank you.” Matt said, letting him go.</p><p>Kevin didn’t sleep well that night, waiting for his phone to buzz with any updates from Scott’s room. He heard Matt tossing and turning in his bed across the room as well, and he knew that the frustration was shared between them.</p><p> </p><p>So, the next morning was tough. They dressed silently, and made their way to get Kirstie before returning to Scott’s dorm.</p><p>The door opened to reveal blond hair and bright blue eyes.</p><p>“Scott…” Kevin started, smiling, and Scott was in his arms before he could continue.</p><p>“Thank you.” Scott said quietly, squeezing him.</p><p>“My pleasure,” Kevin replied, but immediately cringed. “Not what I meant,” he continued, his eyes clenched shut, feeling hot with embarrassment.</p><p>Scott’s warm laugh made him feel instantly better. “Mine, too,” he teased.</p><p>Matt was next to embrace him, running a hand through his completely blond hair. “You feel okay?” Matt asked.</p><p>“I feel fine,” Scott replied as they separated. “I’m going to skip breakfast, though. I have to call my parents. They’re supposed to fly out today, but now that I’m not breaking, I want to try to convince them that it isn’t necessary.”</p><p>“You shouldn’t skip breakfast,” Kevin argued what everyone else was thinking. “Let’s get you back to a healthier weight. Call them on the way.” Scott opened his mouth to argue, but took one look at the group, who were staring at him sternly, so he dropped the subject.</p><p>“Sounds good,” he replied, slipping a hoodie over his head. “Are they covered enough?” He asked, tilting his head back to expose his bruised neck.</p><p>Mitch played with the collar of his hoodie, pulling it upwards. “Now they are.”</p><p>Scott had somehow convinced his parents not to come. Instead, they agreed to come for Parents’ weekend a few weeks later. Kevin could hear him talking to them behind him as they walked to breakfast. He felt a tap on his shoulder after a few minutes. Scott was looking shyly at him.</p><p>“What’s up, bud?’</p><p>“They want to talk to you…”</p><p>Kevin took Scott’s phone, and smiled at Connie and Rick, afraid of what was coming. “How are you?” He asked, trying to keep his tone light, knowing that they knew what he had done with their son the night before.</p><p>“We wanted to thank you.”</p><p>Kevin stopped walking. Scott stopped with him, waiting patiently as the others continued, unaware.</p><p>“There’s no need to thank me,” Kevin replied, his voice shaking.</p><p>“But there is, Kevin. You saved my baby’s life. I can never thank you enough.” Connie said, her eyes misting with tears that mirrored Kevin’s.</p><p>“And you’ve done a fantastic job of keeping him safe in general,” Rick added, trying to keep it together himself.</p><p>Kevin shook his head, not believing them. He had been there when Scott was taken, for crying out loud. How could they sit there and tell him he was doing a good job?</p><p>“I’ll do my best to keep making sure he’s safe and happy,” Kevin said, afraid to say more and break down in the process. They smiled at him in thanks, and he handed the phone back to Scott, whose hands were trembling. Scott said a quick goodbye as they continued walking, and hung up. Kevin placed an arm over his shoulder, pulling him close.</p><p>“You okay? You’re shaking.”</p><p>Scott nodded in reply, saying nothing further until they reached the door of the dining hall.</p><p>“Whenever you want out, you tell me. Okay?” Scott asked, his eyes shining with guilt.</p><p>Kevin stopped short, eyeing the man who had become one of his very best friends. “Out?”</p><p>“Of this,” Scott replied, gesturing between them. “It clearly takes a lot to be my friend. I’ll understand if you want to leave.”</p><p>Kevin scooped up the blond in his arms, still perturbed by the lack of meat on his bones. “You’re stuck with me, Hoying.”</p><p>Scott laughed against his neck. In that moment, Kevin was pretty sure it was the best sound on earth.</p><p>“Can we feed you now?” Kevin asked, putting him down. Scott smiled softly and nodded, an embarrassed flush gracing his facial features. </p>
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<a name="section0021"><h2>21. Sophomore Year, Part III</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Almost forgot to post today! </p><p>...Is anyone still reading?</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Happy Birthday!” They all shouted in unison, two weeks later. Tyler and Kirstie were holding their phones with the screens facing him, displaying Chris and Niall on Tyler’s, and Jesse and Bobby on Kirstie’s. Scott covered his face in his hands, feeling his cheeks becoming warm with embarrassment over the attention. He looked through his fingers at the group of them, and grinned.</p><p>“Nineteen, you big baby!” Matt exclaimed, pulling him into a hug. Tyler shoved a shot glass in his hand as soon as the door was shut. Scott laughed, throwing it back and cringing only slightly at the burn of it.</p><p>“Thanks guys, this is very sweet,” Scott said, warmly. He could feel the love in the room, and he adored these moments.</p><p>He grabbed Kirstie’s phone after a few minutes and slipped into the bathroom for some quiet.</p><p>“How are you guys?” Scott asked. Jesse and Bobby looked at one another, trying to keep the smiles on their faces. “You know I know when you’re hiding something, right?” Scott sipped at his drink, cringing again. Why they couldn’t splurge on better alcohol was beyond him.</p><p>“Chris will kill us…” Bobby started. Jesse elbowed him in the ribs.</p><p>“What’s up, seriously?” Scott’s voice was low and shaky.</p><p>Jesse sighed, running a hand through his hair. “The Feltons were called to Long Island earlier today. They flew all the way from London.” Scott listened, feeling his pulse race. “They were called to… to identify Tom’s body… out in the Hamptons,” Jesse finished, looking down.</p><p>“Was it…?” Scott started, finding it harder to breathe.</p><p>Jesse nodded. “I’m so sorry, Scott. We wanted to tell you tomorrow… not on your birthday…” Jesse’s voice shook in a manner similar to Scott’s own, and Scott squeezed his eyes shut.</p><p>“Do Chris and Niall know?”</p><p>“Yes.”</p><p>“Tyler?”</p><p>“Yes.”</p><p>“Great.”</p><p>“Scott, it wasn’t purposely withheld from you…”</p><p>“You just said it was, actually.” Scott took a deep breath, trying to steady himself. He felt dizzy, all of the sudden. He gently hit his fist against his forehead.</p><p>“Stop that,” Jesse warned, knowing how Scott could hurt himself during times like these.</p><p>Scott’s fist stilled against his forehead. “Are you all going to the funeral?”</p><p>Jesse and Bobby both shook their heads. “No one is. His parents refused. They only want family. It will take place in London sometime next week.”</p><p>Scott nodded. “Love you guys.”</p><p>“Scott, don’t hang up until you give us back to Kirstie…”</p><p>Scott didn’t listen, and hung up from his place perched on the side of the bathtub. He slid down the side of the tub, and pulled his knees to his chest, pressing his face to them. Then, he hit his forehead against them, lightly. Then he did it again.</p><p>And again.</p><p>And again.</p><p>Harder.</p><p>Whimpers bounced off the tile walls as he continued this way, clawing at his hair as he tried to wrap his head around the fact that Tom was gone.</p><p>Why was Scott able to survive? Why couldn’t Tom have done the same?</p><p>Again.</p><p>Again.</p><p>Again.</p><p>He didn’t hear the bathroom door open, nor did he hear the gasp from his friend as his face collided with his knees.</p><p>“Stop that. Stop, love.” Mitch’s soft voice broke Scott from his mission to pass out, and he felt four hands on him instantly.</p><p>“I’m so sorry, Scott. Please don’t hurt yourself. Please…” Tyler added, kissing his temple as he wrapped an arm around him to prevent him from doing any more damage.</p><p>“Jesse called Chris and said you were upset, so Chris called us back. I’m so glad he did,” Mitch whispered, rocking the taller man back and forth on the floor.</p><p>Scott remained silent as the tears fell.</p><p>“I’m so glad it wasn’t you, Scott.” Mitch felt Scott’s muscles tense in his arms. “I know that’s selfish, but I’m so glad you were able to get away. You’re so strong, Scott. I am so relieved that you’re here with us.”</p><p>“Everything okay?” Matt’s soft voice spoke from the doorway. Scott could feel Mitch shake his head from where he lay against his chest. He felt Matt come closer, his warm breath on his face as he crouched down, placing a hand on Scott’s knee.</p><p>“Why is his forehead all red?” Matt asked, rubbing Scott’s skin there. “There’s a little bump here.” Scott didn’t open his eyes. He wanted to disappear. He wanted to be alone.</p><p>“He was hurting himself when we came in,” Tyler said, softly.</p><p>“He was what?” Matt’s voice broke. “Scotty… look at me?” Scott refused.</p><p>
  <em>Leave me alone. All of you.</em>
</p><p>“Scott…”</p><p>Scott erupted from Mitch’s grasp, startling the three of them as he stood abruptly.</p><p>“Leave me alone,” Scott nearly snarled, running a hand through his hair. His <em>blond hair, </em>he thought, bitterly.</p><p>
  <em>Who am I to survive all of this when my friends are dropping like flies?</em>
</p><p>Matt reached out towards him, but he backed up, glaring at him. “I want. To be left. Alone.” His voice was low in warning.</p><p>“Okay, love. We won’t talk. Just let us sit here with you? Please?” Mitch asked.</p><p>“Alone.” Scott repeated. “Please.” His voice broke now, and the tears were betraying him again as they fell without permission.</p><p>Kevin approached from behind him and wrapped his arms around him from behind. “Shh. It’s okay. You’re okay. Breathe.”</p><p>Scott wiggled his way out of the stronger man’s grasp, desperately. His feeling of victory was quickly replaced by fatigue, and he fell to his knees, letting out a sob. The strong arms were around him again, and he collapsed into them.</p><p>Kevin held him there, and they sat in silence as Scott fell apart again.</p><p> </p><p>Scott awoke the next morning in bed, alone. Alone felt nice. Alone was all he wanted. He stretched his arms above his head, and was overcome with the feeling of dehydration from drinking and crying.</p><p>“Hey,” a soft voice spoke from across the room. Scott sat up.</p><p>“Sorry,” Scott replied, rubbing his temples. Tyler followed suit and sat up as well, facing him.</p><p>“Don’t be. I’m sorry that all of this shit had to hit the fan on your goddamn birthday…” Tyler thought for a moment. “I just wish you wouldn’t hurt yourself.”</p><p>A pang of guilt ran through Scott’s chest. “I know. I don’t know why I did that.”</p><p>“I think I do,” Tyler offered, timidly. Scott sat in silence, waiting for him to continue. Tyler jumped out of his bed and crossed the room to join Scott on his. “You feel guilty. You feel guilty because you were taken, too. You were sold. You went through hell, Scott, all summer, but you survived. And now you find out that Tom wasn’t so lucky… and you feel guilty about that. You’re thinking, ‘Why me? Why did I deserve to live and he didn’t?’” Tyler finished, searching Scott’s face for signs that his theory was correct. Scott looked at the ground, blankly, for what felt like an eternity. Then, he nodded.</p><p>“You survived due to a combination of strength and luck,” Tyler added. “Tom didn’t have one or the other.”</p><p>“That’s not fair, though.”</p><p>“Scott, look in the mirror. What about your life is fair?”</p><p> </p><p>Scott and Tyler arrived at breakfast after everyone else had sat down, with the exception of Mitch. Scott adjusted the backwards snapback on his head, which he had placed strategically to cover the evidence of his self-injury the night before.</p><p>“Where’s Mitch?” Tyler asked as they sat down.</p><p>“Breakfast date,” Kirstie replied in a singsong voice.</p><p>“Ooh, with that fine young thang in his computer science class?” Tyler asked. Kirstie nodded.</p><p>“Beau, I think,” Matt added, glancing at Scott out of the corner of his eye as the blond took a bite of his breakfast, quietly.</p><p>“Ooh, ooh, there they are,” Tyler squeaked, pointing across the hall, where Mitch turned and glared at him. “Oops. That was too loud, wasn’t it?” Tyler asked, grimacing. Kevin laughed as Mitch and Beau seemed to argue for a minute before standing and crossing the dining hall.</p><p>“Guys, this is Beau Sloane. Beau, this is Tyler, Kevin, Kirstie, Matt, and Scott,” Mitch said, stiffly as he pointed at each of his friends before trying to lead his new interest away. Beau didn’t move, however, and smiled at them.</p><p>“Nice to meet you all. Can we join?”</p><p>Kirstie made room next to her and looked at Scott to do the same across the table. He complied, smiling softly. Mitch slumped in the seat next to Kirstie, and Beau crossed over to place his tray next to Scott’s. He reached out his hand and looked into Scott’s eyes.</p><p>“Nice to meet you,” Beau said again, grasping Scott’s hand in a firm handshake. Scott watched something flicker in Beau’s eyes, and the hairs on the back of his neck stood on end as he looked away.</p><p>“You too. Computer science, huh? What’s your major?” Scott asked, trying to get the group involved in a conversation with the man. It worked, and the table erupted with conversation, allowing him to silently eat.</p><p>The entire interaction didn’t go unnoticed by Matt, however, and his eyes narrowed on the newcomer.</p><p>Mitch didn’t join them as much in the upcoming couple of months, and now Christmas was approaching. Scott was happy that he would get Mitch to himself for a couple of weeks when they would return home for the holidays. This Beau guy was slowly growing on him, and he felt less on-edge when he was around now. But Mitch wasn’t the same in his presence. It was like he was trying too hard.</p><p>“Sigma Tau is having a Christmas Party tonight. Beau invited us. Who’s in?” Mitch asked, flopping down on Kevin’s bed one afternoon before the break.</p><p>“Invited <em>us?” </em>Tyler asked, sassily. “Must have been a mistake.” He rolled his eyes. Mitch mirrored his action.</p><p>“Yes, <em>us. </em>But by all means, stay home.” Mitch glared at him, challengingly, and Tyler backed down.</p><p>“You know I’m always up for a party.”</p><p>The group agreed, and Kevin was already thinking of the ground rules for the night. Selfishly, Kevin wanted to be in charge of Scott for the night, for no reason other than he was the easier one to keep track of. But he knew that Matt would take this the wrong way, so he looked across the room at his best friend. “Same deal as last time?” Matt looked at him and nodded. “Good, so I’ll take Tyler duty, and you can have Scott.”</p><p>Scott looked at Kevin, comically offended. Kevin laughed. “You know what I mean. Matt, you’re in charge of protecting Scott.” Matt smiled and nodded again.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0022"><h2>22. Sophomore Year, Part IV</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Okay, disclaimer. I wanted to use as many characters that you would know as possible, instead of filling your heads with constant original characters to keep track of. Thus, some of them have to be painted in a not-so-great light, because this story is dark AF, if you haven't noticed... Please don't think I don't like these people! It's for the sake of the story  (example: Alex) :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“There you guys are! Welcome to Sigma Tau!” Beau exclaimed when he opened the door. The group filed in. “I can’t believe you’ve never been here. Here… take these.” He offered a cup from the table behind him to each of them. Matt immediately took the cup of the mystery concoction from Scott’s hands as soon as Beau turned away, and poured it on the already beer-soaked floor. </p><p>“Fat chance. I get yours for you.” Matt whispered. Scott laughed.</p><p>Scott was leaning against the basement wall, a pleasant buzz setting in. Matt and Kevin were talking next to him and Tyler was dancing comically between them with Kirstie. Scott was happy not to be the center of their attention as he watched the easy smiles on each of their faces.</p><p>“Here you guys are,” Beau’s voice said, snapping Scott out of his thoughts. “How are you guys doing? Scott, your drink is empty. Matt’s bad at his job.” Matt turned and glared at him, closing the short distance between himself and Scott.</p><p>“My job?” Matt asked.</p><p>“Chill. Mitch told me about your deal when you guys go out. You’re in charge of Scott, right? So how come his cup is empty?”</p><p>Matt glared at Beau again, grabbed the cup and Scott’s hand, and led him through the crowd.</p><p>“Matt doesn’t like me too much, huh?” Beau asked.</p><p>Tyler shrugged. “He’s protective.”</p><p>“Of Scott? Ohh… are they together?” Beau asked. “Mitch forgot that tidbit.” He turned to look at Mitch, who was shaking his head.</p><p>“Not together,” Mitch slurred. “Much to Matt’s dish- dismay, I think.” He laughed at his own stumbling.</p><p>“Careful, Mitch. Matt won’t hesitate to kill you,” Kevin warned, only half-jokingly.</p><p>In all honesty, Kevin was a bit angry at Mitch for telling someone what their plan was for parties. If someone knew who was in charge of protecting Scott, they could do a better job of separating him from that person. Mitch was smarter than that. He was disappointed in him.</p><p>Matt returned with Scott a minute later, with both cups full. “Better?” Matt asked, threateningly. Beau put up his hands in defeat and hit his cup lightly against Scott’s in a “cheers” motion, and they raised their cups to their mouths, chugging the liquid down. Scott finished first.</p><p>“Damn, boy. I’m impressed,” Beau said, wiping his mouth when he finished his.</p><p>Scott took a mocking bow.</p><p>“Let’s all dance,” Beau offered, pulling Mitch’s ass against his groin.</p><p>“We’ll join you all in a minute… gotta keep <em>Scott’s cup full…”</em> Matt grumbled, taking the blond’s hand again, leading him through the crowd.</p><p>“He’s harmless,” Scott reasoned as Matt filled his cup at the keg. Matt rolled his eyes as he handed the cup back.</p><p>“Cover it with your hand while we walk. And no, he’s not. I saw that look in your eyes when you met him. You don’t trust him, either.”</p><p>They rejoined their friends just as ‘Whatever You Like’ by TI blared through the speakers. Beau held Mitch close to him, swaying back and forth like they were alone.</p><p>“Getting another drink!” Mitch yelled over the music halfway through the song, detangling himself from Beau to wander towards the keg. Some Sigma Taus approached the group shortly after, clapping Beau on the back and giving him high fives and stupid bro-handshakes.</p><p>“Who are your friends?” a tall blond one asked. He looked like he must play football, Matt presumed. He was only half-listening as Beau introduced each of them, and watched as the tall man’s eyes lingered on Scott and Tyler before whispering in Beau’s ear.</p><p>“Ha! Yes… behave.” Beau replied. Matt’s eyes narrowed and he took Scott’s hand. He watched as Kevin did the same to Tyler. Matt turned Scott to face him and began to dance with him like last time, in a “back the fuck off” fashion.</p><p>The other men didn’t seem to get it like last time. Beau laughed as one of his friends approached Scott from behind, grinding against him and snaking an arm around his waist. Matt watched as Scott’s eyes widened and he clutched onto him.</p><p>“Matt swung Scott around to the other side of him, so the man was behind Matt instead. Another man took this opportunity to move behind Scott, and whispered something in his ear as his hands rubbed over his torso before pulling him backwards, out of Matt’s grasp.</p><p>“Hey! Fuck off!” Matt yelled as he yanked Scott’s arm, wrapping both arms around him, protectively.</p><p>The man laughed. “Sorry, I thought we were sharing.”</p><p>“Matt?” A soft voice asked as Matt glared at the man who was walking away.</p><p>“Yes, Scotty?” Matt asked, pulling back just enough to look into his eyes.</p><p>“You were squeezing me too tight, and I really have to pee.” Scott replied. Matt laughed and eased up his grip, taking Scott’s hand instead. He whispered to Kevin where they were going as they were leaving the group, and Kevin nodded, still eyeing the looming frat boys around them.</p><p>He had a feeling they should get out of here.</p><p> </p><p>Right after Matt and Scott left the circle, Tyler turned a gross shade of green. “I don’t feel so well,” He muttered. Beau laughed. “Here. I have a bathroom off of my bedroom. It’s locked, so let’s get him up there, quick.” Kevin nodded, and he and Beau led Tyler upstairs quickly.</p><p>Tyler made it just in time, hurling the contents of his stomach into the ceramic bowl. Kevin leaned over him, patting his back, gently.</p><p>“Beau, do you have some mouthwash? I think our buddy here is gonna…” Kevin paused as he laid his eyes on Beau, who was moving closer, holding a paddle from the fraternity hallway. “What are you…?”</p><p>“Sorry, Kev.”</p><p>Darkness.</p><p> </p><p>Beau knocked on the bathroom door down the hallway with Tyler hanging in his arms, hardly able to stand.</p><p>“I have Tyler here. Can you let us in?” he shouted. A crowd of five fraternity brothers snickered quietly behind them.</p><p>Matt opened the door a moment later, and his eyes widened when he looked at the group behind the threshold. He tried to slam the door shut, but one of the brothers stuck his foot in the opening.</p><p>Matt backed away, shielding Scott where he stood by the sink.</p><p>“Let Tyler go,” Matt growled, wondering where Kevin was.</p><p>“Sure thing,” Beau replied, throwing the younger man to the floor, where he lay still, whimpering.</p><p>Matt looked around. In front of him were five grown men, all larger and older than he was. Beau stood in front, looming towards him.</p><p>He had to think fast… he had to…</p><p>His arms were grabbed and he flailed wildly, trying to connect his fists with anyone’s body he possibly could.</p><p>“Scott, RUN,” He urged, but Scott was cornered. Tears prickled Matt’s eyes at this realization. He was failing him. He was failing both of them.</p><p>Two men were holding Matt down. Tyler was still on the floor, only half conscious. One large man had Scott pressed against the far wall, attacking his lips as his hands explored his body.</p><p>“Beau… Mitch will never forgive you,” Matt warned, hopefully.</p><p>Beau laughed. “Yeah, somehow Mitch is the last thing on my mind.”</p><p>One of the Sigma Taus loomed over Tyler, ripping his clothing off. Matt flailed again, trying to break free. He was hysterical now, trying to peel himself off of the floor where he was pinned.</p><p>He was losing energy quickly. He could hardly see Tyler from where he lay, but he had a perfect view as Scott was thrown against the sink and his shirt was ripped off.</p><p>Matt clenched his eyes shut as he heard grunts from next to him as well as above him. He could still hear Tyler whimpering. He heard nothing from Scott. For some reason, this scared him even more.</p><p>He squinted up at Scott, afraid to look. He was bent over the sink, his jeans pooled around his ankles. His arms were pinned against his back, and the man twice his size was thrusting into him in what looked like an effort to destroy him. The tears fell from Matt’s eyes then, as he caught a glimpse of Scott’s emotionless face in the mirror.</p><p>It was as though he was dead inside. Matt couldn’t wrap his head around it.</p><p>Tyler was openly crying now as two men traded places and another man began to thrust into him. Matt lay still now, feeling completely hopeless.</p><p>Beau replaced the extremely large man behind Scott, but ordered him to hold him down, for fear that Scott could overpower him. The larger, muscular man sat on the counter and pulled Scott up as well, so he was straddling his back and his arms were wrapped around his chest, pinning his arms down. Beau pulled Scott’s legs over the edge and entered him with a groan.</p><p>“Hurry up,” the man next to him hissed as he thrusted into Tyler. “I want a turn with the prettier one, too.”</p><p>“Shut up. I brought them here. I’ll take as long as I want,” Beau argued, quickening his pace as he pounded into Scott.</p><p>Matt thought he might die if he had to watch this for much longer.</p><p>A loud banging on the door snapped him out of it. “KEVIN,” He called before a hand was clasped over his mouth. The group sat silently, the only noise being their heavy breathing.</p><p>“Matt. Let me in. Matt?” Kevin sounded terrified.</p><p>The door handle jiggled violently as Beau finished inside of Scott. The man on top of Tyler pulled out and took Beau’s place behind Scott, and another took his place on top of Tyler, knowing their time was running out.</p><p>The door splintered as it came off of its hinges in that moment, leaving Kevin looking utterly menacing in the doorway.</p><p>The men leapt up from where they were, as the ones who were mid-attack attempted to finish quickly. Kevin ripped a man off of Matt and Matt began to kick and hit anyone he could.</p><p>“I’ll fucking kill you,” Matt growled at Beau, before punching him in the face. Beau smirked as he spit out some blood, wiping the corner of his mouth.</p><p>“Worth it.” Beau spat.</p><p>The men left the room quickly, then, leaving Matt and Kevin alone with Tyler and Scott.</p><p>Tyler groaned and pulled his knees to his chest, so he was lying in a fetal position.</p><p>Scott hopped off of the counter and collected his clothing, dressing himself wordlessly.</p><p>Kevin got to work finding Tyler’s clothes and dressing him.</p><p>“Scott, I’m so sorry,” Matt said softly, reaching for Scott. Scott pulled away, but he didn’t look mad. In fact, his expression was unreadable.</p><p>“How’s Tyler?” Scott asked, trying to make his way to the smaller sécor. Matt blocked him, hugging him, instead.</p><p>Suddenly, Matt desperately wanted a turn. He wanted a chance to fuck him against the sink, to taste him, to make him cry out, to watch his dick bounce against his stomach as he was pounded into.</p><p>Matt gripped Scott’s confused face and their lips collided, painfully. Scott emitted a whimper, and Kevin peeled Matt away from him in one motion.</p><p>“Look away, dammit.” Kevin nearly yelled, pushing Matt against the far wall of the bathroom. He held him there until Matt’s eyes cleared and he shook his head aggressively. Then, Kevin let Matt go as he slid down the bathroom wall.</p><p>This night was all sorts of fucked up.</p><p>
  <b>
    <strong>Scott’s Count = 3</strong>
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</p><p>
  <b>
    <strong>Tyler’s Breaking Threshold: &gt; 6</strong>
  </b>
</p><p> </p><p>They walked home, silently.</p><p>Mitch cried quietly, knowing that he had been the cause of this. He had brought the dangerous man into their lives. How could he be so stupid?</p><p>Kristie looked at Tyler in Kevin’s arms. What if Tyler had reached his breaking threshold? They had always joked that his was probably low, because he’s so dramatic. She shivered at the thought that there would be a silver streak in his hair in the morning.</p><p>Matt cursed himself as he followed far behind the others, away from where he could hurt Scott. He had failed on all fronts tonight. He was full of self-loathing.</p><p>Kevin held Tyler to his chest, feeling like a failure as well, for letting Beau overpower him.</p><p>And Scott? Scott walked quietly.</p><p>Scott sat perched on his bed, watching Tyler sleep. He heard Matt and Kevin arguing in hushed tones in the corner, and Kevin stepped out of the room, leaving the door ajar. Matt approached Scott’s bed, slowly, as though he was afraid to spook him.</p><p>Scott patted the bed next to him, and Matt climbed on, leaning against the wall, shoulder-to-shoulder with the taller blond.</p><p>“I’m so sorry,” Matt whispered. “I can’t believe I kissed you… that I let it get that far…”</p><p>“It’s okay,” Scott interrupted. “Not surprising. After an attack the pheromones are stronger… so they probably caught you off-guard.” Scott’s shrug angered Matt.</p><p>“That’s no excuse. And I also failed you long before that, anyway.”</p><p>Scott laughed softly, and Matt was angered further. “There was no avoiding that one, Matt. We couldn’t have taken those guys. You know that.”</p><p>“I hate how calm you are.”</p><p>“Oh, I’m not calm.”</p><p>Matt searched Scott’s blue eyes. “You sure look calm.”</p><p>“Ask me about Tyler and I’ll probably break down in tears.”</p><p>“But not if we are talking about you? That’s kind of twisted.”</p><p>Scott shrugged again, and that strange blank stare was back. “It just wasn’t that big of a deal, you know? Not for me. I have like… 150 more times before I have to worry. For Tyler… anyway, it’s the not knowing that’s scary.”</p><p>“No amount of <em>rap</em>e is <em>okay</em>,” Matt replied, softly.</p><p>“No… I suppose not,” Scott replied, thoughtfully. “But somewhere around time number 50, I guess I just became desensitized.”</p><p>Matt could have hit him. He desperately wanted to smack the sense back into him.</p><p>Scott opened his mouth to continue. “You just kind of… leave your head. Think of something else. <em>Go </em>somewhere else. And then it’s over. And you survived, you’re still alive. That’s what matters.”</p><p>“What should matter is your self-respect,” Matt challenged.</p><p>Scott laughed again, and Matt had never hated the sound more.</p><p>“Sécors don’t have ‘self-respect’ in their vocabulary.” Blue eyes met Matt’s brown ones, and Matt was nauseated with how much honesty he saw in them.</p><p>“And why not?”</p><p>“Because that’s how you get yourself killed, Matty.”</p><p>“Where even <em>are you </em>right now?” Matt asked, baffled by every little aspect of this conversation. Scott’s tone, his body language, his words… it was all so confusing, and downright heartbreaking.</p><p>“I’m right here, Matt. I promise.”</p><p> </p><p>“He’s different, Kev. I know you fixed him. But he’s like… emotionless. It’s scaring me,” Matt pondered out loud as they walked to the dining hall the next morning. Scott and Tyler were already seated, and Matt and Kevin let out a sigh of relief when they had confirmation that Tyler’s hair was still blond.</p><p>Matt circled around the two blond men and wrapped his arms around Tyler’s shoulders. Tyler reached up and held onto his arms, giving them a light squeeze.</p><p>“You okay?” Matt asked, his eyes flickering with concern.</p><p>“I’m okay. You?”</p><p>That was the first time that Matt had been asked that question, and honestly, he didn’t know the answer. He knew how selfish it would sound if he said no, so he nodded. “I’m okay. Just worried sick about you.”</p><p>Mitch and Kirstie joined shortly after, and they ate in a comfortable silence.</p><p>“Shit,” Mitch muttered, eyeing something over Scott’s shoulder.</p><p>“What?” Scott was afraid to look.</p><p>“Beau. 6:00.”</p><p>Scott nodded, understandingly, but didn’t turn to look. Luckily, Beau settled for a flirtatious wave in Mitch’s direction, and continued on his way.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0023"><h2>23. Sophomore Year, Part V</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Happy Sunday! Here's a double header for you all.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Mitch and Scott were exhausted as they waited at baggage claim. Scott lifted his hat a bit to scratch an itch on the top of his head, but put it back firmly on his head immediately. He found he liked snapback hats. People were less likely to stare when he was wearing one, unless they caught a glimpse of his eyes. With a hat on, he almost looked normal.</p><p>Mitch had his nose to his phone screen, typing frantically every few minutes. “Got a hot date?” Scott asked, lightly. Mitch smiled, placing his phone in his pocket.</p><p>“Sorry. I’m like, really popular,” Mitch responded sassily, accompanied by a signature eye roll.</p><p>“Mitch!” Mitch’s brother called from the entrance. Mitch waved happily as Will approached them. He reached out and gave Scott a quick hug in greeting.</p><p>“Happy to see you, Scott,” Will said, awkwardly, but genuine. Mitch looked back and forth between the two for a moment.</p><p>“I have all of my bags, but I want to wait with Scott until his parents get here… if that’s okay.”</p><p>Scott opened his mouth to protest, but stopped when he saw his parents over Mitch’s shoulder and realized that he didn’t have to.</p><p>Rick hugged him tightly. Sure, they had visited him for parents’ weekend as promised, but that didn’t ease their worry or their relief upon seeing him.</p><p>Scott didn’t tell them about his frat house drama when they asked about college updates. He was 19 now, and <em>an adult</em>, thank you very much, so he decided that they would only know about this stuff if it was absolutely necessary.</p><p>Why worry them?</p><p>
  <b>
    <strong>
      
    </strong>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <strong>
      <em>Scott Hoying: Wanna hang out? I’m bored.</em>
    </strong>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <strong>
      <em>Mitch Grassi: You only want to hang out with me because you’re bored? Rude.</em>
    </strong>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <strong>
      <em>Scott Hoying: I want to hang out with you always. LOVE ME.</em>
    </strong>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <strong>
      <em>Mitch Grassi: Plans with my dad this afternoon. Later? Come over around 5?</em>
    </strong>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <strong>
      <em>Scott Hoying: Ugh. Fine.</em>
    </strong>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <strong>
      <em>Mitch: You are an actual toddler.</em>
    </strong>
  </b>
</p><p>Scott struggled to find things to do at home, with both parents at work. He paced through the living room for the eighth time in the past hour. He looked in the fridge again as though food had just happened to spring up within it in the past 15 seconds.</p><p>4:15. That was close enough to 5:00. Right?</p><p>He parked in front of Mitch’s neighbor’s house when he saw that the spots directly in front had been taken. Clearly, someone was home. He grabbed his phone and climbed out of his car, and up the front walkway. The front door opened, and two men walked out before embracing each other.</p><p>Scott’s heart pounded in his skull and he felt like he had been kicked in the chest.</p><p>He backed away, slowly, but Mitch noticed him as he let his companion go, his eyes wide.</p><p>“Scott… wait.” Mitch started, and the other man turned with his eyes even wider.</p><p>“Sorry. I’m early,” Scott nearly growled, fiddling with the keys in his hand. “I’ll… I’ll leave you to it.” Scott turned on his heel and did everything in his power not to sprint back to his car. Mitch was able to catch up easily and placed a hand on his shoulder, spinning him around.</p><p>“Mr. Grassi, you sure have changed,” Scott smiled dramatically and called towards Alex. “Oh, wait a minute.” He added, placing his finger to his chin, in a mockingly pondering look. “Thanks so much, Mitch,” Scott snarled softly so only Mitch could hear.</p><p>“Scott… wait.” The voice belonged to Alex this time, and Scott clenched his hands into fists. Alex approached them, his eyes wide and teary. Somehow, Scott stood his ground. This didn’t hurt him anymore. When he came to this realization, he somehow felt stronger despite the emptiness that had replaced the fear. “I asked to see Mitch. I don’t want you to think…”</p><p>“It’s fine,” Scott interjected, shrugging. “Whatever.” Scott met Alex’s gaze, determined to show him how little he affected him, how strong he had become. He felt a sense of pride when he realized that he could pretty much see Alex’s heart breaking all over again in his eyes.</p><p>But then, his breath got caught in his throat and he suddenly felt overwhelmed.</p><p>“Alex, you should go,” Mitch said, softly. Alex couldn’t seem to look away from Scott’s eyes, captivated, fiddling with a small, folded piece of paper in his hands.</p><p>Suddenly, he shook his head back and forth, focusing on the rest of Scott. Scott knew that it had been a while, but Alex looked exactly the same. Scott knew that he didn’t. He knew he was broader, his features more defined. Alex seemed confused by this.</p><p>“Bye, Alex,” Scott added, his tone almost mocking. Alex held out the piece of paper, wordlessly. Scott paused, but took it after a moment, his curiosity getting the better of him. Alex shook his head again and looked down at the pavement as he made his way to his car, driving away without another word.</p><p>“Awesome,” Scott said, feigning a lightness in his voice, as he traipsed into Mitch’s house. Mitch looked on, confused, but followed close behind.</p><p> </p><p>Late that night, Scott couldn’t take it anymore. He reached for his nightstand, and unfolded the small piece of loose-leaf paper, surprised when it was actually more than one sheet. Alex’s handwriting stared back at him.</p><p>
  <em>June 30, 2008</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Dear Scott,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>You left a week ago. You’re gone. I can’t wrap my head around that. My heart hurts. I think I might be dying. Is that dramatic? I certainly don’t think so. I have no idea where you went, what you’re doing, but I miss you so much. Please come home. Please be okay.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Love, Alex</em>
</p><p>
  <em>July 31, 2008</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Dear Scott,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I finally spoke with Mitch. I couldn’t believe you didn’t tell him what I did to you. I came clean… I had to. Part of me was hoping he would hit me. I wanted him to hurt me in a way I can’t hurt myself. Anyway… Mitch reminds me enough of you to make me feel slightly more okay. God, I miss you, and I thank God that you’re okay, somewhere…</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Love, Alex</em>
</p><p>
  <em>November 1, 2008</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Dear Scott,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Mitch says you’re doing fine. I wonder if you know that we’ve been hanging out. I wonder if you’re okay with it.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I keep having nightmares. Well… more like memories… flashbacks while I’m sleeping, of them hurting you. I think of your face, the way you looked at me… it haunts me.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I’m so fucking sorry that I let you down. I’m so sorry that I made you believe I deserved you.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Love, Alex</em>
</p><p>
  <em>December 12, 2008</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Scott,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Well, I fucked up now, didn’t I? I thought you would rage text him, contact me directly to scream at me, ANYTHING. But instead, you left our lives completely. All because of a heart emoji. I guess Mitch didn’t mean that much to you. Or maybe he meant everything to you.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Fuck, I’m sorry.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Love, Alex</em>
</p><p>
  <em>September 17, 2009</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Scotty,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Happy Birthday, Gorgeous.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I miss every inch of you. I thought this pain would go away, but it just doesn’t seem to want to leave me.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Mitch says he’s coming to find you. I want you to know that I won’t try. I tried to tell him to leave you alone, but he’s headstrong, that one. I want you to be okay. It’s all I’ve ever wanted.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Love, Alex</em>
</p><p>
  <em>October 15, 2009</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Scotty,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>So, Mitch was successful. I’m so glad you let him back in. He told me that you’re not interested in a resolution with me. I completely understand.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He showed me a picture of you two together. You look so happy, so… so not <span class="u">mine</span>.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I’m seeing someone. She’s pretty and blonde. Gorgeous blue eyes that remind me of you… her name is Tori.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She’ll never be you… who the fuck do I think I’m kidding… but I’m trying. I’m trying for you.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Love, Alex</em>
</p><p>
  <em>May 18, 2010</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Jesus Christ, Scott…</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I prayed that Mitch was trying to get me to move on. I prayed that he was lying. He wasn’t lying, was he? You’re gone… someone has you, somewhere.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The thought of what someone is doing to you now, physically, mentally, emotionally… God… please be okay, Scott. Please…</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Not that it matters, but things didn’t work out so well with Tori. Apparently, I say your name a whole lot in my sleep.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>-Alex</em>
</p><p>
  <em>September 17, 2010</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Happy Birthday, Scotty,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Mitch called me after you came back. Please don’t be mad at him for that.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He told me you started to break. He told me your threshold is 156. I immediately threw up when he told me. I couldn’t help it. I can’t imagine what you went through.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He told me your friend fixed you. I’m so glad you’ve surrounded yourself with people stronger than me.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Happy 19<sup>th</sup> Birthday, my love. Keep fighting, okay?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Love, Alex</em>
</p><p>
  <em>December 14, 2010</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Scott,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Mitch told me about his boyfriend. Beau. He told me what he did to you.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Scott, I’m so fucking sorry that it’s likely that you’ll never feel safe in this world.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Forgive me for this, but I can’t help but wonder why you aren’t mad at Mitch, or the other guy, Matt…</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Mitch told me that Matt has been affected by you twice. Mitch told me that you still trust him. He told me that Matt watched you get raped by a group of men. That he couldn’t help you. That he was held down.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Sounds awfully familiar, doesn’t it?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I could be a good friend to you, if nothing else. I wish I could make you see that.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>- Alex</em>
</p><p>
  <em>December 20, 2010</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Dear Scott,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I’m taking these letters to Mitch’s house today. I’m going to ask him to give them to you without telling you what they are. It’s my last hope.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Mitch has photos of you guys from college, they’re hanging in his room. I saw them yesterday. You’re breathtaking, now more so than ever.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>It would be such a privilege to hear your voice again, to hold your hand, to look into your eyes…</em>
</p><p>
  <em>This is my last letter to you, Scott. If I don’t hear from you, I’ll understand. I won’t bother you anymore.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Don’t worry. This isn’t like, a suicide note or anything. I almost wrote one the day I let you down. But I’m too much of a coward to even do that.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Love, Alex</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Scott wasn’t sure why he read every word. He wasn’t sure why he was crying. He had no idea why he suddenly hurt so much. He placed the paper on his end table, and tried desperately to fall asleep through his tears.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0024"><h2>24. Sophomore Year, Part VI</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Here's your second update of this lovely Sunday. Let me know what you think? Comments and kudos make me happy.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Scott had officially lost his mind. He was sure of it, as he bounced on his toes on the doorstep, fiddling with the pieces of paper in his hands. He heard a shuffle inside, and he considered hiding in a nearby bush.</p><p>“Can I help you?” a pretty blonde woman asked as the door opened, but her eyes focused on him and her smile shifted from artificial to genuine in an instant. “Scott. Oh my goodness. It is so good to see you!” Scott was wrapped in her arms before he could respond. He patted her back, gently, wondering why she was being so nice to him.</p><p>“Hi, Mrs. Kirk. How’ve you been?” He returned her smile and she reached up to touch his blond hair, fondly.</p><p>“We are all doing well here, sweetheart. How are you? I’m so sorry… Alex didn’t say anything about you being in town, or coming over… or even that you two were speaking, come to think of it…”</p><p>“Oh, that’s because I uh… wanted to surprise him, I guess. He isn’t home, is he?” Scott asked, bashfully.</p><p>“He is! Spends most of his time here, when he isn’t away at school. Hardly ever leaves the house. I’m glad you’re here, really. Please try to drag him out somewhere with you! He’s in his room. Go on up, sweetie.” She gave him a light push towards the stairs, her happiness evident in her voice. Almost like she was relieved.</p><p>How badly was Alex hurting? Scott mulled over the thought as he approached Alex’s closed door. He took a deep breath and knocked lightly. A soft voice called, “Come in.”</p><p>
  <em>What the hell am I doing?</em>
</p><p>Scott opened the door and stepped in. Alex was typing on his laptop, and didn’t stop to look up.</p><p>“What’s up?” He asked, monotonously. He clearly assumed it was his mother.</p><p>“Hey.” Scott said, awkwardly. Alex’s head snapped up. The action looked painful, actually. Alex scrambled to his feet, straightening out his clothing as he stood.</p><p>“Scott… hi.” Alex said, his voice cracking slightly. It was actually kind of cute, Scott pondered.</p><p>Scott stepped in further, leaving the door open, just in case he needed to run.</p><p>Alex looked torn between remaining still and reaching out to embrace him. Scott felt bad for the older man’s awkwardness, and reached out to him first, wrapping him in a hug.</p><p>Alex’s face found the crook of Scott’s neck. Then, Scott heard the sob.</p><p>“I don’t deserve this.” Alex muttered, not moving, as though doing so would only make Scott leave again.</p><p>“I know.” Scott said, stiffly. Alex pulled away, looking into his eyes. Worry was written all over his handsome face, until Scott smiled. “I’m just kidding.”</p><p>There it was: Alex’s smile. It was nervous-looking, but it was there. Scott sat on the edge of his bed, thankful that he had broken a bit of the tension. Alex sat next to him, and Scott laughed.</p><p>“What?” Alex asked, smiling nervously.</p><p>“We’re finally the same size,” Scott said, pretending to measure their heights with his hand.</p><p>“Oh, I know. What the hell?”</p><p>They laughed for a moment, but Alex still looked as nervous as Scott felt. Scott pulled out the notes from his pocket, deciding to rip off the band-aid. Alex eyed the notes in his hand, anxiously.</p><p>“I shouldn’t have iced you out. You were right, in these letters. I treated you differently. Unfairly. Just… please know that there is a huge difference between being attacked in high school and being attacked for the 150<sup>th</sup> time. That day was the end of the world for me. Now I understand more. Now I understand <em>you</em>.” Scott said, looking at his hands instead of the man in front of him. “I’m sorry.”</p><p>He finally gained the courage to look into Alex’s eyes. They were red-rimmed and brimming with tears, nearly identical to the eyes he left behind a few years ago.</p><p>“I don’t want you to apologize, Scott,” Alex replied in a near-whisper, shaking his head. “You didn’t do anything wrong.”</p><p>“I didn’t have to cut you off…” Scott started, then scrunched his nose. “Make out like it never happened and that we were nothing,” he sang the second part softly, laughing gently. Alex laughed again.</p><p>“I don’t even need your love, but you treat me like a stranger and it feels so rough,” Alex replied, only half-singing.</p><p>“Damn. That song’s about us, huh?” Scott asked, still laughing. “I’d like to take you up on your offer.” Scott continued. Alex looked puzzled, so Scott held up the note. “Being friends. I would like that.”</p><p>The look of relief on Alex’s face was one of the sweetest expressions Scott had ever seen.</p><p>They spent the afternoon talking, filling each other in on each other’s lives. It was more one-sided than Scott had expected it to be, as it became clear pretty quickly that Mitch had already filled Alex in regarding a majority of Scott’s recent life.</p><p>So, the Cliffs Notes version: Alex was a Physical Education major at University of Michigan. He was a Junior, and for the most part, he enjoyed it there. He talked to Mitch several times per week, and had a few friends of his own back at school, but he had completely isolated himself in Arlington. With the exception of Mitch, he spoke to no one their age.</p><p>Oh, and Tori, the pretty blonde? She hated Scott, like, a lot.</p><p>Scott found that part to be particularly funny.</p><p>Mitch was thrilled when Alex FaceTimed him late that same afternoon, and Scott’s face greeted him on the screen instead of Alex.</p><p>“What…?” Mitch asked, disbelief etched all over his face.</p><p>“Wanna come over?” Alex asked, coming into view.</p><p>“Yes!” Mitch shrieked, hopping off of his bed and hanging up without another word.</p><p> </p><p>Scott flopped on his bed when he got back to campus. It had been a good break. Mitch threw his bag in his room and flopped on the bed next to him.</p><p>“When does Tyler get back?”</p><p>“I think he was supposed to beat us. Let me call him.”</p><p>Scott held his phone out at arm’s length and Mitch fixed his hair in the camera as it rang. A very fatigued-looking Tyler came into view a minute later, the hood of his sweatshirt pulled tightly over his head.</p><p>“Hey, Ty. Thanks for answering… for once,” Mitch greeted, sassily, but Scott felt a pang in the pit of his stomach that he couldn’t quite place. “Would have been nice to hear back from you more than once during the whole last week of the break,” Mitch continued.</p><p>“You okay, Tyler?” Scott asked, his voice shaky. He took note of the fact that Tyler was clearly still at his house.</p><p>Tyler clenched his eyes shut and began to cry.</p><p>Scott was nauseous.</p><p>“Tyler… what’s the matter?” Mitch asked, softly now.</p><p>Tyler removed his hood. His hair was nearly completely silver.</p><p>“What the hell happened?” Scott asked, anger pulsating through him now.</p><p>“Just an asshole from high school… I guess my threshold isn’t as impressive as yours, Scotty,” Tyler replied, wiping his eyes.</p><p>“Get back here, we’ll fix you.” Scott said, frantically.</p><p>“I’ll be broken by tonight…” Tyler whispered.</p><p>“What?” Mitch yelled.</p><p>“Two p-people tried to f-fix me here… it just s-s-sped it up…” Tyler was struggling to get the words out. “They were s-s-so sure they were i-i-immune…”</p><p>“Chris will have an answer. Let me call Chris, okay?” Scott asked, desperately. Tyler sighed through his tears, and turned the camera around. Chris’s grim face was reflected in the lens now, and Scott felt his blood boil.</p><p>“You knew? When?” Scott demanded. Chris placed his head in his hands.</p><p>“We were trying to get him fixed as fast as possible… I didn’t have time to answer your stupid questions, Scott.”</p><p>“Fuck you,” Scott snarled. “You had enough time to get there… but you didn’t have time to fucking <em>call me? </em>I called both of you two days ago and neither of you answered!”</p><p>“Yes, poor fucking <em>you.” </em>Chris growled, taking the phone from Tyler, who was sobbing now.</p><p>“I could have fixed him, Chris. I could have…” Scott was struggling to catch his breath as he rambled.</p><p>“You can’t fix him, Scott.”</p><p>“We have people here who can!” Scott yelled, confident that Kevin, Mitch and Matt hadn’t ever been affected by Tyler.</p><p>“We thought we did, too.” Chris argued, but his voice was softer now. “I’m gonna stay here with Tyler. Make sure his transition is… as smooth as possible.”</p><p>Scott knew what that meant: Chris was staying to make sure that Tyler wasn’t going to jump off of a clock tower, or slit his wrists, or do whatever the hell Tom had done…</p><p>“I’m booking a flight.” Scott said, running a hand through his hair.</p><p>“No, you’re not,” Chris argued again.</p><p>“No, you’re not,” Tyler echoed. Scott’s eyes softened at the sound as Tyler came back into view. “Please don’t, Scott.”</p><p>“Why?”</p><p>“Because I don’t want you here.”</p><p>Scott may as well have been stabbed in the heart.</p><p>“I’ll call you later, okay?” Tyler said, and the screen went black.</p><p>Scott hung up just as Kirstie entered their room with Matt and Kevin in tow. Judging by the looks on their faces, they had heard the news already.</p><p>Scott tried to breathe. Really, he did. But he felt like he was underwater, like he had been attached to an anchor and dropped into the ocean. The weight against his chest was becoming too much, and he tried to inhale.</p><p>“Scott… breathe.” Kevin was at his side now, looking at him with a concerned gaze.</p><p>Couldn’t Kevin see that that is what he was trying to <em>do?</em></p><p>“Scotty…” Kevin said again, reaching out towards him.</p><p>Black dots were encroaching on his field of vision… like the power was going out.</p><p>“Kevin, grab him!” Scott heard Matt’s voice call as the lights went out completely.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0025"><h2>25. Sophomore Year, Part VII</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Ugh. Sorry to the two people who are reading this.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Things didn’t improve from there, to make a long story short.</p><p>And now, Scott was standing at an open grave.</p><p>Now, Scott was done.</p><p>It was like he was incapable of feeling emotion anymore, as he watched the casket being lowered into place. The place on his lower back where Chris was placing a comforting hand felt numb, just like the rest of him.</p><p>Apathy.</p><p>No one had told him that apathy wasn’t only for broken sécors. Scott certainly wasn’t broken, but he was definitely sick of literally everything in this world. He looked up at his friends. Tears streamed down each and every one of their faces. Kirstie, Matt, Mitch, Kevin, Chris, Niall, Bobby, Jesse… His face, on the other hand, was dry.</p><p>He hadn’t shed a single tear for Tyler.</p><p>Dry as a bone as his best friend was laid to rest.</p><p>Oh, look. An emotion: Self-loathing.</p><p>It was about time he felt <em>something</em>.</p><p> </p><p>Tyler had broken later that January night, as he had guessed. Chris had helped Tyler’s parents arrange for a placement at a psychiatric hospital two hours away from his hometown in Michigan. This hospital had a doctor who specialized in broken sécors. Chris left the morning that the Oakleys took the trip.</p><p>Tyler never made it to the hospital.</p><p>They were on the highway, his parents singing softly to the radio, trying to distract themselves from the task at hand.</p><p>Then the car door opened, and his mother screamed as Tyler rolled out. They could hear the sound of cars swerving behind them, and then soft <em>thuds</em>.</p><p>They didn’t have to look to know what had made the noise.</p><p> </p><p>So here they were, at the funeral of the third of their friends to succumb to the most fucked up existence in the world.</p><p>“You okay?” Chris leaned in and asked, softly, as the crowd turned to leave. Somehow, Scott had zoned out for the entirety of the burial. He turned to face Chris, who was looking at him with concern.</p><p>“I’m okay.” The words were stiff. Scott still hadn’t gotten over their last conversation. Scott could have seen Tyler one last time, if Chris hadn’t been too proud, or whatever the hell he was feeling, to pick up the damn phone.</p><p>Chris held the back of Scott’s neck as he tried to walk away. Scott felt a low growl form low in his throat.</p><p>“Hang on a sec.” Chris whispered, turning Scott to face him. He took a moment to search Scott’s eyes, and Scott knew that he was panicking at the blank look within them.</p><p>“I’m sorry, Scott.” Chris said. “I’m sorry for how I spoke to you.”</p><p>“You’re sorry for that an awful lot, have you noticed?” Scott asked, vacantly.</p><p>“I know that when I’m frustrated, I take it out on you. I don’t know why I do that,” Chris said, softly. “I should have stopped to think about how you could have helped.”</p><p>“Have you ever started breaking?” Scott asked, cocking an eyebrow.</p><p>“No. No I haven’t.” Chris admitted.</p><p>“Well, coming from someone who <em>has, </em>I would say that yes, I could have helped. I’ll see you later.” Scott mumbled, spinning on his heel.</p><p>“Where are you going?” Chris called. “The cars to the hotel are this way.”</p><p>“I’m gonna go somewhere else, first.” Scott called back, not bothering to turn around.</p><p> </p><p>He climbed into the passenger side of the waiting car at the edge of the cemetery.</p><p>“Thanks,” Scott said, buckling his seatbelt.</p><p>“You okay?” Alex asked, placing a hand on his knee.</p><p>“Fine. Let’s just go.”</p><p>“Well, you’ll get to see my school, which is cool, I guess,” Alex said softly as they waited in traffic. Scott was abnormally quiet, and Alex felt like he had to fill the silence.</p><p>“Do you live on campus?” Scott asked, casually, looking out the window.</p><p>“No… me and a few buddies have a house off campus. They should all be in class right now, though.”</p><p>Scott looked at him. “Did I make you miss class?”</p><p>“No,” Alex lied. “I don’t have afternoon classes on Thursdays.”</p><p>Scott sent a quick text to Mitch before exiting the car, letting him know where he was.</p><p>Scott shrugged his suit jacket off as they walked through the front door. The house was… fratty? Alex picked up a few empty beer cans off of the coffee table, throwing them in a nearby garbage bag.</p><p>“Keep your shoes on until we get to my room,” Alex joked. “Who knows what you’ll step in down here.”</p><p>“Is that… a used condom?” Scott asked, smirking over Alex’s shoulder.</p><p>“Ugh!” Alex groaned, tugging on Scott’s hand in the opposite direction. “Run, before it grows legs.”</p><p>Scott found himself smiling slightly as they ascended the stairs and entered Alex’s room. This was more like the Alex that Scott knew. The room was tidy and clean. It smelled like cedar, just like Alex. Scott found that comforting.</p><p>“You doing okay?” Alex asked, patting the spot on the bed next to him for Scott to sit down. Scott complied, mulling over his potential next responses.</p><p>His silence was making Alex anxious. He knew he was hurting. Alex had no idea what he needed right now. Hell, they hardly even knew each other, anymore.</p><p>“I think something is wrong with me,” Scott mumbled, taking off his shoes and folding his legs underneath himself.</p><p>“Don’t say that,” Alex nearly whispered.</p><p>“I can’t feel anything anymore,” Scott continued, almost as though he hadn’t heard Alex at all. Alex grabbed his hand, rubbing over his knuckles, soothingly.</p><p>“I think you might be in shock,” Alex offered, gently.</p><p>“I just want to feel something again... anything,” Scott replied, looking into his eyes. Alex’s breath hitched in his throat as Scott leaned in, capturing his lips in his own.</p><p>Under any other circumstances, any at all, Alex would have been elated by this chain of events. Now, however, Alex was frozen in place.</p><p>“Please,” Scott asked, his voice breathy. He climbed on top of the older man, straddling him, much the way he used to. The way he did when he loved him. He kissed him again. “Please make me feel something. Please, Allie,” Scott whispered against his lips.</p><p>He shivered at the sound of his old nickname. Alex wanted nothing more than for Scott to love him again.</p><p>So, Alex obeyed.</p><p> </p><p>The hotel room was silent where Mitch, Kirstie, Matt and Kevin lay scrolling through their phones, trying to grasp onto a sense of normalcy.</p><p>Mitch leaned in towards Kirstie, showing her a picture. They laughed hollowly. Kirstie gasped as Mitch’s phone buzzed and a notification banner emerged from the top of his phone.</p><p>
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      <em>Alex Kirk: Help me, Mitch. I fucked him.</em>
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</p><p>“What the actual <em>hell, </em>Mitch?!” Kirstie yelled, bounding off of the bed. Mitch was typing frantically.</p><p>
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      <em>Mitch Grassi: What the FUCK Alex?</em>
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</p><p>
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    <strong>
      <em>Alex Kirk: CONSENSUALLY.</em>
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</p><p>
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    <strong>
      <em>Alex Kirk: He dozed off in my bed. I’m afraid that when he wakes up he’ll regret it. What do I do? Shit… he’s so messed up right now Mitch.</em>
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</p><p>
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    <strong>
      <em>Alex Kirk: I shouldn’t have done it… but you KNOW that Scott is my weakness…</em>
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</p><p>Kirstie’s eyes narrowed as she read the remainder of the conversation over Mitch’s shoulder.</p><p>“Care to share?” Kevin asked after a moment, looking nervous.</p><p>“Scott slept with Alex.” Kirstie announced. Mitch shot her a glare. “What? They were going to know, eventually.”</p><p>Matt gritted his teeth, which didn’t go unnoticed by Kevin. “Is Scott okay?” Kevin asked.</p><p>“Apparently, it was Scott’s idea…” Mitch mumbled, looking at his phone.</p><p>“Scott’s not okay, is he?” Kirstie asked, sadly.</p><p>“Scott is certainly not okay,” Kevin replied.</p><p>Matt remained silent.</p><p> </p><p>The group heard the door handle rattle and Scott emerged an hour later, and went immediately into the bathroom.</p><p>They held their breath until he emerged, his suit in his hands and dressed in a muscle shirt and sweatpants, instead.</p><p>He knew the second that he laid eyes on Mitch that they knew what he had done.</p><p>“Seriously?” Scott asked, sitting on the edge of the bed that Mitch and Kirstie were on, rubbing his eyes.</p><p>“Yeah, he told us.”</p><p>“Excellent.” Scott’s voice was cold as he threw the suit into his open suitcase on the floor.</p><p>“You okay?” Kristie asked.</p><p>“Dandy.”</p><p>Matt stood up and crossed the room, crouching down between Scott’s legs. His eyes were soft and understanding as he put his hands on Scott’s knees. Kevin was pleasantly surprised that he was taking the caring approach. That is, until Matt spoke.</p><p>“I’m <em>so sick </em>of protecting you.”</p><p>Scott looked up, confusion etched in his face.</p><p>“Why should I risk my own mental health to keep you safe, when you turn around and <em>whore yourself out </em>the second we turn around?” Matt’s voice was low and gravelly, like he was either about to cry or scream.</p><p>Scott had had this “pep talk” before. With his dad, right before he nearly attacked him, too.</p><p>Yeah, maybe they were on to something here. Maybe that was all that Scott was good for.</p><p>“You don’t have to keep me safe anymore, Matty,” Scott replied, his voice soft and understanding.</p><p>“Good. Be a whore on your own time.”</p><p>“Will do.” And with that, Scott was on his feet again, grabbing a beanie and pulling it over his head, as an extra precaution. “Gonna go stay with Chris… down the hall.”</p><p>The other three stood in shocked silence as Scott slammed the door behind him.</p><p>“Are you kidding?” Mitch hissed, shoving Matt harshly.</p><p>“I’m done with him. Done.”</p><p>“Go after him, <em>now.” </em>Kevin urged through clenched teeth.</p><p>“I’m done letting him step all over my heart, over and over!” Matt yelled, covering his face with his hands. “He thinks I’m just going to be there to pick up the pieces, but I can’t! I can’t do this anymore.” Matt was crying now.</p><p>“You don’t really want to lose him,” Kirstie whispered, hugging him. “You would never forgive yourself if something happened to him. Go to him. Have an honest conversation. No name-calling, just speaking and listening. Scott’s very good at that.”</p><p>“Fine,” Matt sighed, wiping the tears from his eyes, harshly. He knew that he needed to keep Scott in his life, as painful as it was to have him there, sometimes. “I’ll be back.”</p><p>“Take his phone. He left it on the bed,” Mitch added, tossing Scott’s phone into Matt’s hands.</p><p>“Good boy.” Kevin teased, and Matt flipped him off on his way out the door.</p><p>Two men were at the end of the hall, leaning against the window. Matt squinted at their silhouettes. Their statures looked like Chris and Scott, but the backlighting made seeing their faces impossible. Why would they be waiting in the hall?</p><p>And why was one of them carrying… was that a noose?</p><p>Definitely not a noose.</p><p>It was a collar.</p><p>Matt continued to walk towards the men, unsure of what to do. Did they have someone else with them? Did their third person take Scott already? Were they waiting for more? His thoughts were interrupted as he caught a glimpse of a figure in the small alcove where the ice machine was located.</p><p>Scott.</p><p>His eyes were wide, and his back was to the wall, struggling to breathe quietly. Matt wanted to hold him, desperately. There was nothing in this world that he hated more than seeing Scott scared.</p><p>Matt nodded to him, silently, hoping that Scott could somehow understand what he was trying to say. Then, he sped up towards the men. Still clad in his own suit from the funeral, minus the jacket which had become uncomfortable, this might just work.</p><p>“Gentlemen! Thank you for staying with us this evening. My name is Jared. I am the Assistant Manager of this fine hotel. Is your stay holding up to your expectations thus far?” Matt asked with his best impression of a used car salesman.</p><p>The men grimaced. “Just fine, thank you,” One of them mumbled, trying to move past him where he cornered them against the window.</p><p>“Let me show you something,” Matt said brightly, turning the men to face the window, praying that Scott would take this opportunity to run.</p><p>“See that beautiful pool? Extravagant, no?” Matt asked, looking at the pathetic, empty hole below. Matt glimpsed behind himself as both of the men looked down, and saw Scott’s retreating back. From behind, he looked human, with the beanie on. Not good enough. Matt would keep these men from turning until Scott was safe in their room again.</p><p>“It’s February,” One of the men grumbled. “In Michigan.”</p><p>“Yes, which is why I wanted to show you! Many people overlook our beautiful pool in the winter. Maybe next time you can take advantage of it! Make sure you come in our peak season. Live poolside music every Friday! Who in Michigan doesn’t love steel drums? Am I right, or am I right?”</p><p>A door down the hall clicked shut and Matt backed away from the men. “Nice to chat with two lovely guests such as yourselves! Enjoy your stay!” The men backed away too, towards the staircase next to the window. Matt watched as they retreated downwards. Breathing a sigh of relief, he took off in a sprint back to his room, thankful that, evidently, traffickers were idiots.</p><p>“Did they see you?” Kevin was asking him. Scott was shaking his head.</p><p>“They didn’t see him. I promise,” Matt interjected, shutting the door.</p><p>Scott looked over at him. “Thank you,” he said. Matt pulled him towards him, wrapping him in what was possibly the tightest hug he had ever given. He handed Scott’s phone over to him, and Scott immediately called Chris.</p><p>“We were stupid not to assume that this would happen. They must keep track of sécor funerals, hoping more sécors will attend.” Chris said, rubbing the back of his neck. “You’re safe? They didn’t see you?” Scott shook his head again.</p><p>“We need to make a run for it. I have an idea,” Niall chimed in next to him. “There are five sécors: Me, Chris, Scott, Jesse, and Bobby. We split up with you humans. Let’s pair up, with one group of 3. If we walk out in twos and threes, sporadically, and our human counterpart is <em>undeniably </em>human, we might be able to hide in plain sight.”</p><p>“Scott, is your friend still with you? Alex?” Chris asked. Scott avoided eye contact with Matt as he shook his head, feeling the anger bubble up in the other man a few feet away. “Can you call him? I’d like to match up 1-to-1.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0026"><h2>26. Sophomore Year, Part VIII</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This one is short, but I thought it was exciting enough. ((Shrug))</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Alex arrived 30 minutes later, eager to assist with the group’s escape plan. Matt refused to look into Alex’s eyes as they shook hands, and everyone in the room could tell that it was hard for him to leave Scott in Alex’s care as they left.</p><p>Scott was adorably oblivious to this.</p><p>“You guys first. Got it?” Kevin looked at Scott and Alex. “We’ll each go down every 15 minutes. Only stop once you are in your assigned car. Did anyone leave any baggage behind? No? All packed up in the cars? Good. See you all at Alex’s house.” Kevin instructed.</p><p>Scott and Alex stared at each other in silence as they gave the others time to make it to the other room. Then, Scott adjusted his beanie on his head, threw his sweatshirt on, and followed Alex out the door.</p><p>Scott knew better than to walk too closely to Alex. He knew better than to hold his hand. That would look submissive. No, he had to walk like a normal <em>human</em>.</p><p>He had never realized how hard that could be, as he wracked his brain to try to walk just like Alex.</p><p>Alex was telling him a longwinded story, complete with hand flourishes and a grin on his face, trying to look as care-free as possible. So far, it was working.</p><p>Scott could see Alex’s car. They were so close.</p><p>“Excuse me, sir?” a deep voice asked. Alex nodded to Scott, knowing the plan. He turned, allowing Scott to continue the rest of the way to the vehicle.</p><p>“Yes?” Alex asked, lightly. Alex watched as the man searched his eyes for a moment. He hadn’t thought of the possibility that he himself could be mistaken for a sécor. Nah, his hair was just a bit too dark, and his eyes weren’t nearly vibrant enough.</p><p>“Do you know where the nearest gas station is?” The man asked, satisfied with his survey of the man in front of them.</p><p>They were definitely traffickers.</p><p>“Sorry, dude. Not from around here.” Alex smiled and turned back to the car, trying to remain calm as he climbed in.</p><p>“Shit. That was too fucking close. Call the guys, now. This place is crawling with them,” Alex nearly cried, pulling Scott close to him as he started the car.</p><p> </p><p>They waited at Alex’s house and Scott tried desperately to stop his hands from shaking.</p><p>At least he was feeling something again, he supposed.</p><p>Alex grabbed both of Scott’s hands in his and rubbed them, softly.</p><p>“I’m glad you’re safe,” Alex whispered, leaning in to kiss him on the cheek.</p><p>“That was intense,” an Irish brogue exclaimed behind them. Scott crossed the floor in a moment, pulling Niall into a hug, followed by Mitch.</p><p>“How many did you see?” Alex asked, hugging Mitch.</p><p>“I know I saw two. Niall is pretty sure there were three waiting in a car close to ours, though… don’t worry. We called Chris about it.” Mitch added.</p><p>“Did anyone stop you?”</p><p>Mitch and Niall shook their heads as Niall removed his own hat, running his hands through his hair.</p><p>Scott laid on the couch with his head in Alex’s lap, trying to stop his heart from beating in a manner similar to an actual <em>wrecking ball</em>.</p><p>“This should really be locked, just in case,” Kevin’s voice rang out. Scott was on his feet again, and hugged his friend tightly, before embracing Bobby as well.</p><p>“So far, so good,” Niall said, hugging Bobby firmly.</p><p>“Ugh, why did you have to say that?” Scott replied, clasping his eyes shut. “If you jinxed it, I swear…”</p><p>Then, they waited.</p><p>And they kept waiting.</p><p>Kevin paced back and forth, looking sick.</p><p>“How long has it been?” Bobby asked.</p><p>“45 minutes. Chris and Kirstie should have walked in 15 minutes ago. Jesse and Matt should have been 30.” Kevin’s voice was wavering as he looked at his phone.</p><p>As if on cue, a car pulled up as Kevin finished his timeline.</p><p>“Thank God,” Kevin muttered, peering through the blinds.</p><p>“There are Jesse and Matt…” Niall muttered. “Shit.”</p><p>Scott rushed to the window. He immediately knew what had sparked Niall’s profanity. Kirstie was with them, looking utterly terrified.</p><p>“Where the hell is Chris?” Bobby asked, his voice squeaking with a tone of fear.</p><p>The second they were in the threshold, Kevin locked the door, and the room was full of wrapped up limbs and whimpers as everyone embraced one another. Scott stood on the outskirts, his arms crossed. He failed to understand how people were celebrating.</p><p>“Where’s Chris?” Scott asked, his voice sounding threatening.</p><p>Jesse’s face fell. “It’s my fault.”</p><p>“How? You weren’t even supposed to be with him.” Mitch asked, looking to Kirstie, who was supposed to be Chris’ companion. Scott’s head was throbbing with the anxiety he was feeling.</p><p>“I was spotted, right in front of the lobby. Five traffickers were honing in on us.” Jesse’s voice was breaking, and tears were threatening to fall from his eyes. “I guess Chris was watching from a window in the lobby… he wasn’t even supposed to <em>be there, </em>but would we really expect any less from him? Anyway, he came out to defend me, leaving poor Kirstie here in the dust.”</p><p>Scott looked at him, blankly.</p><p>“He fought off four of them. Knocked them right out. Not surprising, I know. The fifth one… well, he had his hands on me, so Chris lost it. Started bashing his head into the wall. I’m… not sure the guy is gonna make it. Well, then the police showed up. Cuffed him and took him away in the back of a cop car…” Jesse was pretty much rambling now, his eyes glassy and a guilty frown forming across his lips. “I’m so sorry, guys,” Jesse’s face cracked and he fell against the couch, rubbing his teary eyes frantically.</p><p>“I tried to throw a few punches, but Chris yelled at me,” Matt added, looking guilty as well. “He knew what he was doing. He knew he was going to get into trouble… I should have known that as soon as he told me not to get involved.”</p><p>“If that trafficker dies, or has brain damage… Chris is done for,” Bobby mumbled.</p><p>Scott wasn’t numb, anymore.</p><p>Scott was very, very angry.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0027"><h2>27. Junior Year, Part I</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Had to use an original character in here. My bad!! Let me know what you think of him!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Previously on ‘The Most Fucked Up Group of Individuals the World had Ever Seen’: The rest of the sécors had made it out of Michigan with no further incidents. Niall went to stay with Bobby and Jesse in New York, now that Chris was gone.</p><p>Yes, gone. In a prison in Michigan, actually. The trafficker had died, resulting in the fastest conviction imaginable. Had anyone been interested in hearing about the fact that the man was a trafficker? Absolutely not. He was a human, attacked and murdered by a sécor. That was all that mattered. An appeal was in the works, but Chris didn’t seem too optimistic.</p><p>Scott had gone to visit Chris at the end of sophomore year. He had stayed with Alex during Alex’s last week of school, and watched him graduate.</p><p>They may have done some other things while he was there, too.</p><p>But no, they were not dating, thank you very much.</p><p>Did that last fact kill Alex slowly? Absolutely. Did that stop him from sleeping with Scott any chance he had? Not one bit.</p><p>Scott’s neediness for intimacy from Alex was actually becoming worrisome to the older man. Scott had certainly changed in terms of his behavior in bed. He was more… confident… with his movements, his mouth, his… sounds. Alex wasn’t going to complain… but he wondered what was going through his head.</p><p>Chris was apparently holding his own in prison. Somehow, they had enough of a heart to put him in a cell on his own. Prisoners were actually slightly afraid of him, which helped. Scott thought of any of the rest of them in there. They would have been torn apart within minutes.</p><p>And that’s what you missed on ‘Glee’. I mean… You know. Whatever we called this fucked up mess.</p><p> </p><p>They were sitting on their front porch, just on the edge of campus. It was hot out, and their beers were becoming sickeningly warm awfully quickly, but when you’re day drinking, beggars can’t be choosers.</p><p>Kevin hadn’t loved the idea of Scott living anywhere other than a dorm. He had liked knowing that Scott was protected on campus grounds. But at least the five of them were living together. It was nice to have everyone close by. The house itself was pretty cool, too.</p><p>“Oh my <em>God,” </em>Kirstie whisper-yelled. Mitch’s head shot up and he looked just over Scott’s shoulder.</p><p>“Jackpot!” Mitch sang, giving Kirstie a high-five.</p><p>Matt craned his neck to see what the commotion was about, his arm slung over his new girlfriend’s shoulder. Her name was Sarah, and she had been generally well-received by the group thus far. A little chatty, which rivaled Kristie, but the two girls had warmed up to each other very quickly.</p><p>“You’re kidding! I’m officially moving in,” Sarah joked. Matt and Kevin looked at one another, their faces mirroring the same look of confusion.</p><p>Scott turned around quickly, then sat back, watching Matt and Kevin humorously. “His name is Jeremiah,” Scott told them.</p><p>Matt and Kevin watched a tall, muscular man with dark hair and eyes bring a box through the front door of the house next door.</p><p>“His abs aren’t <em>that good,” </em>Matt reasoned, rolling his eyes, jokingly. The man emerged from the house again, shirtless, proving that Matt was kidding.</p><p>“He’s the hottest guy on campus, by far,” Mitch argued, looking back at the senior as he unloaded more boxes.</p><p>“I feel like… that’s not true,” Matt spoke again, blushing slightly. Only Kevin knew what he meant by that, and he cast a sideways glance at Scott, who was oblivious as usual.</p><p>Kevin had come to realize all too slowly that their friends were utterly clueless, particularly Scott. Even with Matt’s little tantrums about Scott’s recent… indiscretions with Alex, he hadn’t picked up on the fact that Matt’s feelings towards him were more than platonic. Kevin had urged Matt to talk to him about it, but instead, Matt came home with Sarah one day, trying to bury his feelings completely.</p><p>“Ugh, do me,” Kirstie groaned, as Jeremiah wiped the sweat off of his face. “Right here.” She pointed to the ground in front of them.</p><p>“He can do me anywhere,” Scott replied distractedly, taking a swig of his beer, eyeing the man as well.</p><p>“Dear God,” Kevin laughed. “I’m about to get up and leave you all. What, are you all in heat?”</p><p>“Wait, I have a question,” Sarah asked as Mitch emerged with another round of beers, handing one to each of his friends.</p><p>“No, we cannot have a threesome with that guy,” Matt deadpanned.</p><p>“No! Well… no? Really? Are you sure? Anyway…” Sarah looked at Scott. “Is sex even like… good for you?”</p><p>Kevin watched as Matt’s eyes widened. This was going to be like watching a car wreck in slow motion, he could just feel it.</p><p>“Like… good for me, like… eating leafy greens?” Scott asked, cocking an eyebrow. Mitch cackled. Yep, they were all far too buzzed for this conversation to end well.</p><p>Sarah laughed, too. “No, no… like, does it even feel good? I mean… you were… your <em>ancestors </em>were created to sexually please humans. Is it pleasurable for you too, ever?”</p><p>Scott blinked at Sarah for a moment. Matt didn’t want to hear him talk about this.</p><p>“I don’t know if it’s the 50% human in me, but yes, it can certainly feel good,” he nodded, dramatically, grinning.</p><p>Kevin stood up, abruptly. “Alright, I’m out,” he held his hands up, laughing nervously and walking into the house.</p><p>“Wait…” Sarah started. “You two have had…?!”</p><p>Matt clutched her shoulder where his hand was resting. “We don’t talk about that.” He spoke with a warning tone.</p><p>Scott let the topic drop, thinking that Matt meant that he didn’t want to talk about the fact that Scott almost broke.</p><p> </p><p>Two weeks later, Kirstie answered a knock on the door, freezing in place at the gorgeous figure standing behind it.</p><p>“Hello,” she finally said, smiling stupidly.</p><p>“Hi there,” the man said, smiling back at her, sweetly, clutching a laptop to his chest.</p><p>How long she stood there looking at him, she couldn’t tell you.</p><p>“Um… I’m actually looking for someone?” Jeremiah asked, still smiling at the goofy look on her face. “Tall, blond guy? I’m pretty sure he lives here…”</p><p>“Oh. Um. Why?” Kirstie asked, her heartrate picking up.</p><p>Jeremiah looked taken aback by the question. “He’s in my web design class this semester. I’m having some trouble with a project. I live next door…” Jeremiah gestured to his house, as though Kirstie didn’t watch him leave it every morning to go for his morning run. “Anyway, the professor seems to really like him, so he must be good at what he’s doing. Thought maybe he could help me.”</p><p>“Oh, sure,” Kirstie said, smiling again. “Come on in. I guess you don’t know the tall blond guy’s name?” She laughed slightly.</p><p>“I know him only as ‘Mr. Hoying,’” Jeremiah said in a high-pitched voice, laughing as well.</p><p>Kirstie backed away before she turned to goo at this man’s feet. “It’s Scott. And I’m Kirstie, by the way.”</p><p>“Jeremiah,” he replied. Kirstie most certainly knew that, but repeated the name back to him, anyway.</p><p>“I’ll go get him. Have a seat,” she replied, gesturing to the kitchen table, and nearly sprinted up the stairs.</p><p>Scott chaotically fixed his hair and straightened his shirt, wishing he could spend some extra time to change out of his plain white muscle shirt and shorts. Groaning, he bounded down the stairs before taking a second to make himself appear more calm, ambling into the kitchen a moment later.</p><p>“Hello,” Scott said, and Jeremiah looked up at him, which admittedly left Scott a bit breathless.</p><p>“Hi,” Jeremiah replied, standing up, reaching his hand out. “I’m Jeremiah.”</p><p>Scott shook his outstretched hand. “Scott,” he replied, shifting on his feet. “Are you here to sell me some car insurance, or…?”</p><p>Jeremiah laughed and Scott almost collapsed at the sound. “I’m in your web design class. I’m desperate. Can you help me with this tiny little part of my project?” Jeremiah smiled sweetly, and batted his eyelashes.</p><p>Scott laughed, gently, and sat down at the table. “Show me.”</p><p>An hour later, they were still at the kitchen table, and everyone in Scott’s house seemed to casually need more things from the fridge than ever before. Kirstie accidentally introduced herself for a second time at one point, which was particularly funny to watch.</p><p>“So, then you click here…” Scott clicked a button in the bottom corner, “and you’re done.”</p><p>“Awesome, I knew you’d be good at this,” Jeremiah said, sitting dangerously close to Scott as they looked at his laptop screen.</p><p>“How’d you know that?” Scott asked, crinkling his nose.</p><p>“You’re like… Professor Fernandez’s favorite.” Jeremiah’s tone was matter-of-fact.</p><p>“Oh. Well… that’s because of the hot sex we have every Thursday after class.”</p><p>The room was silent, followed by two cackles of laughter.</p><p>“Gross. She’s gross. Wouldn’t think that’s your type, either,” Jeremiah laughed, licking his lips as their laughter died down.</p><p>“You’ve known me for 3 whole minutes, and you already think you have a handle on my type?” Scott asked, proud of himself for flirting so well.</p><p>“Well for one, married women in their fifties wasn’t at the top of my list,” Jeremiah began. “and second of all, the entire category of ‘women’ wasn’t up there, either… ah shit, no offense. That sounded judgy.” Jeremiah cringed a bit with those last words. Scott laughed.</p><p>“I’m pansexual, thank you very much. You’re on to something with that women-in-their-fifties thing, though. I’ll give you that.”</p><p>“Pan, huh? Good on you,” Jeremiah replied.</p><p>“How so?” Scott asked.</p><p>“Can I tell you something?” Jeremiah asked, his voice more serious than Scott had heard.</p><p>“I mean, sure. If you want to tell a stranger your deepest secrets, go for it,” Scott replied.</p><p>“I really… like… <em>really… </em>want to be attracted to girls. Like… <em>really.” </em>Scott’s pulse quickened, a feeling of excitement in his chest. “I can’t do it,” Jeremiah admitted.</p><p>“You know it’s not something you can force on yourself, right?” Scott asked.</p><p>“No, I know. I just guess I wish that was the type of hole I was into…” Jeremiah responded, cringing, and both of them cracked up again.</p><p>“So, girls and guys get you going, huh? Must be nice,” Jeremiah added a moment later, his tone thoughtful as he closed the laptop.</p><p>Scott felt suddenly guilty. He had always had trouble with this whole full-disclosure-or-not situation. Should he tell him what he is, ask if he knows? Should he remain silent about it and hope Jeremiah isn’t affected? It seemed ethically wrong not to tell him what could happen to him. After all, they were pretty much on top of each other right now.</p><p>“Okay, can I tell you something?” Scott asked.</p><p>“Oh yes, a stranger’s secret in exchange for a stranger’s secret. I like that idea.” Jeremiah responded, knocking his shoulder lightly against Scott’s.</p><p>“All people like me are pansexual,” Scott replied.</p><p>“People like you? Pansexual people… are pansexual? Damn boy, you seemed so smart, too.” Jeremiah joked.</p><p>Scott laughed, nervously. “I’m a sécor.”</p><p>Jeremiah froze for just a moment. It was almost unnoticeable. “Well that explains it. I don’t know much about sécors, like at all. But I do know that that definitely explains it.”</p><p>“Explains what?”</p><p>“Why I have a rival for the hottest guy on campus for like… the first time in my whole life. You have an unfair advantage, dammit.”</p><p>Scott shook his head, laughing. “I wouldn’t worry about that.”</p><p>Scott explained the effects of a sécor as briefly as possible. Jeremiah nodded along, looking a bit sad.</p><p>“So, if you ever feel funny around me, it wouldn’t be your fault. Just tell me as soon as it starts, and I’ll leave. It doesn’t mean anything, it’s just a biological response. That is, if we would ever like, work together on a project again… or anything…” Scott offered.</p><p>“And if I don’t get away from you in time, what, I hurt you?” Jeremiah asked. Scott shrugged, then nodded.</p><p>“What about straight guys?”</p><p>“Doesn’t matter.”</p><p>“That’s fucked up on so many levels.”</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0028"><h2>28. Junior Year, Part II</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This one's heavy, but in a different way...? What do ya think?</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Scott’s interactions with Jeremiah were few and far between for the next couple of weeks. Waves at each other when they were leaving their homes and in hallways was the extent of it. Jeremiah always looked like he wanted to stop and talk, or maybe it was just Scott’s wishful thinking.</p><p>Although, Scott really wasn’t terribly interested in <em>talking</em> to the man, anyway. He was much more interested in other things.</p><p>“Hey!” Jeremiah called to him one afternoon in November as Scott walked up the front walkway with Mitch. Jeremiah jogged over, smiling.</p><p>“Hey,” Scott replied, pleasantly surprised as he adjusted his backpack strap over his shoulder. “Another project?”</p><p>Mitch just stood there, silently gaping.</p><p>“What? Oh, no. We’re having a party tonight. It’s going to be really loud,” Jeremiah cringed slightly. “I would hate to be our next-door neighbors tonight.”</p><p>“Oh. No worries,” Scott replied, shrugging as he placed his key in the door.</p><p>“You guys can come, so we won’t be such a bother,” Jeremiah offered, quickly.</p><p>Scott tried to keep his cool. Inside, he was jumping up and down like Kirstie when she was asked out on a date in 7<sup>th</sup> grade.</p><p>“I’ll ask everyone what’s going on tonight. Thanks,” Scott replied, trying to place a cool, casual smile on his face.</p><p>“Great! Yeah, just feel free to drop by,” Jeremiah responded with a soft smile, backing away. “Later, Scott. Bye, Mitch.”</p><p> </p><p>Well, of course they went. Mitch, Kirstie, and Sarah would never forgive them if they didn’t. Scott wished he could break the news about Jeremiah’s sexuality to Kirstie, but he would just have to let her find that one out for herself, he supposed.</p><p>Kevin was in charge of him tonight. With no one else to worry about (Scott’s heart throbbed painfully in his chest with that fact), and with Matt preoccupied with Sarah, Kevin was the best suited for the job.</p><p>Scott wasn’t sure if he should have a special signal for “Leave me alone, I want this to happen”, but then he realized that the potential use for that signal was just wishful thinking, anyway.</p><p>That was, until Jeremiah found them after about a half hour.</p><p>“You guys made it and didn’t even say hello?” Jeremiah asked, laughing.</p><p>“Your roommate told us you were busy having a threesome upstairs,” Mitch offered, cocking his eyebrow. Jeremiah’s mouth fell open.</p><p>“I’ll kill him,” He exclaimed.</p><p>Mitch laughed, and Scott could feel the flirtation radiating off of his body. “I’m kidding. No, he did say you were busy somewhere, though.”</p><p>Jeremiah spent the next fifteen minutes making small talk with Scott, and only Scott. Scott was pleased with the attention. Kevin stood by, chatting with Matt and Sarah, just in case Scott needed him, but even Kevin appeared to have backed off.</p><p>Scott threw his head back and laughed, and Matt’s eyes snapped towards him. The look in his eyes was unreadable and awfully confusing, but Scott shrugged it off quickly as Jeremiah leaned close to his ear, speaking softly.</p><p>“Is it the pheromones if I want to kiss you?”</p><p>Scott froze. “No, probably not,” he replied, cringing at how needy his voice sounded.</p><p>“Good,” Jeremiah replied, and placed his hands beneath Scott’s jaw, kissing him with an intensity that Scott hadn’t felt in a long time. Scott’s skin tingled in the wake of Jeremiah’s wandering hands as they rubbed up and down his body.</p><p>Matt and Kevin froze in place, looking at one another with a look of panic. It left them quickly, however, when they saw Scott’s arms snake around Jeremiah’s neck.</p><p>“Let’s go dance,” Matt said to Sarah, who was busy gaping at the two men in front of her.</p><p>“But that’s the hottest thing I’ve ever seen…” she protested as he pulled her by the hand to the dance floor.</p><p>Kevin watched sympathetically as Matt grinded aggressively against Sarah, an angry look of determination on his face, mixed with a look of trying desperately not to cry with frustration.</p><p>He looked back at Scott, who clearly had no idea what Matt was feeling.</p><p>Jeremiah broke away from Scott’s lips, panting slightly. “My room?” He asked, clearly not caring how forward that sounded. Scott didn’t trust his voice, so he nodded, and let Jeremiah lead him by the hand.</p><p>Scott locked eyes with Kevin on his way out, and Kevin nodded at him, questioningly. Scott nodded back, so Kevin kept his distance.</p><p>Kevin hated this… he hated this for several reasons. First, Matt was probably dying inside. Second, because he was dying inside, he was probably going to say or do something stupid. Third, Kevin hated the thought of Scott jumping into bed with someone he hardly knew. Fourth, he hated that he found himself judging Scott for it.</p><p> </p><p>Once inside Jeremiah’s room, Scott’s clothes were already being yanked off of his body as his lips were captured again. Scott’s heart was racing, and he noted the excitement in his chest. Their kisses were messy, as Jeremiah nipped at Scott’s skin as he led him to the bed. By the time they got there, both of them were completely naked, and Jeremiah pushed Scott backwards onto the mattress.</p><p>“Jesus…” Jeremiah groaned, grabbing Scott’s length, which was already hard and leaking.</p><p>“You want this too, huh, gorgeous?” Jeremiah growled, yanking on Scott in a way that made Scott’s breath hitch. “You want this so bad.”</p><p>Scott had a sudden urge to make sure this was the best sex Jeremiah would ever experience. He thought back to the times with his master, which he admittedly had been doing often, lately. He thought of what received the best reaction from him, what turned him on the most.</p><p>Scott nodded, sitting up and kissing Jeremiah again. “Want this so bad,” he whispered against his lips, before biting gently on Jeremiah’s bottom lip.</p><p>Jeremiah moaned, and Scott mentally patted himself on the back.</p><p>Scott leaned forward, taking Jeremiah in his mouth with one motion. Jeremiah was larger than his master, larger than Alex, so this was difficult, but he managed to take all of him. His own dick leaked at the thought of Jeremiah fucking him.</p><p>Jeremiah thrusted into his mouth, gently enough for Scott to know that he wasn’t affected, but hard enough to excite him. Jeremiah withdrew from his mouth, suddenly, and pulled Scott back up to capture his lips.</p><p>“Call me Daddy,” Jeremiah growled, grabbing Scott’s ass with both hands.</p><p>Scott fought an eyeroll. He knew this guy couldn’t be perfect.</p><p>“Or what?” Scott growled back.</p><p>“Or you don’t get to cum, baby.” Jeremiah squeezed the base of Scott’s dick for effect, and Scott bit his own lip, leaning close to Jeremiah’s ear.</p><p>“Please, Daddy?” Scott asked, his voice breathy in a way that he knew always made his master turn to putty.</p><p>He was spun around by his hips, pressed up against Jeremiah’s front, and he knew that it had indeed worked. Two fingers were slipped into his mouth and he sucked on them, readily, catching his reflection in the closet mirror in front of them.</p><p>“Such a good boy,” Jeremiah groaned in his ear as he removed the fingers from his mouth and fingered him open with them. Scott was extremely turned on by the fact that the man was very nearly purring into his ear with lust, watching them in the mirror as well.</p><p>Scott reached up to wrap his hand around the back of Jeremiah’s neck, leaning back against his shoulder as Jeremiah added a third finger. Scott moaned for effect, once again eliciting a purr-like moan from the older man.</p><p>“What do you want, baby?” Jeremiah asked, his voice firm as he continued to finger him open. Scott bucked backwards against the fingers, and knew that was the right move when Jeremiah bit down on his shoulder and he could feel Jeremiah’s dick twitch against the small of his back.</p><p>“Fuck me, Daddy. Please.” Scott groaned. “Need your dick inside me, filling me, fucking me. Please, Daddy.” Scott panted as a fourth finger entered him.</p><p>Jeremiah leaned Scott forward so his chest was pressed against his knees on the mattress, and withdrew his fingers.</p><p>Suddenly, Scott was filled again as Jeremiah leaned into him, moaning low and greedily. Jeremiah pulled at Scott’s body until he was on his hands and knees, crashing into him.</p><p>“Yeah, Daddy,” Scott moaned, grimacing at the stupid name. Jeremiah’s quickened pace erased the grimace off of his face immediately.</p><p>This clearly wasn’t enough for Jeremiah, however, as he pulled at his body again, yanking him upwards so he was able to see his reflection in the mirror once more.</p><p>“It’s a sin to fuck you without seeing your pretty face,” Jeremiah whispered in his ear as he continued to thrust into him, reaching around his front to pump him, gently.</p><p>That wasn’t necessary, because Scott was so turned on, he might finish without being touched there.</p><p>Then a hand grasped at his throat, and he froze.</p><p>It tightened there, squeezing his windpipe much too familiarly.</p><p>Jeremiah stilled for a moment, withdrawing both of his hands from their places on Scott’s body.</p><p>“Are you okay?” His voice was suddenly completely different, as he gently placed his hands on Scott’s hips.</p><p>Scott wanted to speak, to tell him that everything was fine, to just continue, to just <em>be normal.</em></p><p>Scott clenched his eyes shut and tried to breathe.</p><p>“Go, please… Daddy,” Scott muttered, trying to sound as seductive as possible and cursing the stupid mirror that allowed Jeremiah to see his pained face.</p><p>Jeremiah complied, thrusting into him slowly at first, but returning to his previous speed quickly as their strange interaction was seemingly forgotten. He moaned Scott’s name a few minutes later, nipping at his neck again, hard enough to leave a small bruise, and pulled out.</p><p>He spun Scott around again, pushing him gently on the bed. Scott could feel that the way in which he was treating him had changed. Jeremiah’s gentleness annoyed him.</p><p>But then, he took Scott’s dick in his mouth and all of that was forgotten, as Scott arched his back off of the mattress and began to pant.</p><p> </p><p>They dressed themselves wordlessly afterwards, and Scott could feel Jeremiah’s eyes lingering on him. Then, the mattress dipped next to Scott and Jeremiah was looking into his eyes with a level of concern that made Scott feel sick.</p><p>“Did I hurt you?” Jeremiah asked, softly.</p><p>“No… no, you didn’t,” Scott replied, shaking his head, a flush creeping over his cheeks.</p><p>Jeremiah clearly picked up on his embarrassment. “Can I ask what happened? It was like I lost you there, for a minute.”</p><p>“I guess… I guess I didn’t realize how much I don’t like… hands around my neck,” Scott muttered.</p><p>“I’m so sorry…” Jeremiah said, now looking embarrassed, himself.</p><p>“Don’t be. It’s stupid.”</p><p>“That’s not stupid. But can I ask you something?”</p><p>Scott put his shoes on, nodding, all while dreading the words that were going to come from the man’s mouth.</p><p>“Did something happen?”</p><p>Scott was a bit too drunk for this conversation.</p><p>“I… I looked it up.” Jeremiah added, leaning forward to look into Scott’s eyes. Scott shot him a confused look. “I looked up sécors. As you know, I didn’t really know what they were…”</p><p>That explained why he kept his distance for so long.</p><p>
  <em>Scott, you’re so stupid.</em>
</p><p>Scott closed his eyes, knowing he might as well come clean, now that this guy would never want to talk to him again, anyway.</p><p>“I just… I don’t like being choked. It happened once, the night I started breaking. The guy almost killed me.”</p><p>All Scott could hear in the silence that followed was Jeremiah’s breathing. It sounded slightly panicked.</p><p>“Started breaking? You…?” Jeremiah was stumbling over his words.</p><p>Scott nodded, continuing to avoid eye contact. “I didn’t break. Obviously.”</p><p>“But you were hurt enough to start. Scott, I’m so sorry… was this too much for you? In general? I mean, forget the choking. I was… shit. I was such a jerk. I was too rough…”</p><p>“No, no.” Scott interjected, genuinely. “It was nice to be treated… normally. Not like I was fragile, and not… like… like I was a slave. I promise, it wasn’t too much.”</p><p>“Tell me one thing?” Jeremiah asked, standing and holding his hand out to help Scott up off of the bed. Scott nodded, taking his hand. “Tell me you were never sold. Tell me someone never owned you.”</p><p>“I… I can’t do that.”</p><p>Jeremiah looked heartbroken. Or perhaps just disappointed. It was hard to tell.</p><p>Scott felt disgusting as Jeremiah led him down the stairs without a further word. He hadn’t thought of the fact that Jeremiah would probably be repulsed by how Scott had been used before him. He was kicking himself. Did Jeremiah feel dirty for having been with him?</p><p>Some seniors clapped Jeremiah on the back as he led Scott through the party, and others leaned in close, grinning as they whispered something in his ear as he passed. Jeremiah smiled at them and said nothing, clutching Scott’s hand. Some of them eyed Scott up and down as they walked.</p><p>It all made sense now. Getting Scott into bed had clearly been his plan this whole time.</p><p>“I’m too drunk. Gonna go home,” Scott muttered into Kevin’s ear when they returned. Jeremiah had begun talking to someone close by and was distracted, so it was a good time for Scott to slip away in order to avoid further embarrassment.</p><p>“Too drunk? Were you too drunk when I let you go?” Kevin asked, looking frantic.</p><p>“What? No, no. Just took a few shots on the way back. One of them didn’t hit right. But I’m fine, I promise.” Scott assured him. Judging by the look on Kevin’s face, he wasn’t buying it.</p><p>“Let me walk you back, then I’ll come back to get the rest of them.” Scott thought about protesting, but actually, it wasn’t a bad idea. He nodded, following close behind Kevin as he told Kirstie and Mitch the plan and made his way to the door.</p><p>“Scott,” Jeremiah’s voice rang out behind them. Kevin paused, and Scott tried to continue to push him out the door. It didn’t work, and Jeremiah rested his hand on Scott’s shoulder. “Are you leaving?”</p><p>Scott turned to face him, feeling stupid all over again. “See you in class on Monday, yeah?” Scott cursed himself. That was really the best that he could come up with?</p><p>Jeremiah frowned, but leaned in and kissed him softly on the cheek. “Thanks for coming.”</p><p>“I’ll be back,” Kevin said as Scott left the house. “Just gonna make sure he’s okay. Then I’ll come back for the rest of my ducklings.” Kevin smiled, jokingly.</p><p>“Is he? Okay, I mean?” Jeremiah asked.</p><p>Kevin began to leave, walking backwards, since he knew that Scott wasn’t waiting for him. “Yeah, he said the three shots you guys took on your way back aren’t sitting right. See you in a bit.”</p><p>Jeremiah was confused as Kevin turned and ran after his friend. They never took shots.</p><p> </p><p>“Scott, wait. Are you sure everything is okay? Are you sure he didn’t do something?” Kevin asked, catching up with Scott as he unlocked the front door.</p><p>Scott sighed, stepping through the threshold.</p><p>“What do you want to know, Kev? That he fucked me? That at one point I froze like a fucking <em>psychopath </em>and I want to crawl in a hole and die now? Or that I think it was his plan to get me into bed the whole time? Bonus points if you wanna hear about how I think he thinks I’m disgusting.”</p><p>Kevin stared at Scott, trying to wrap his head around the contents of his rambling.</p><p>“He… thinks you’re disgusting, but he wanted to sleep with you?”</p><p>Scott groaned. Kevin reached out to rub his arms, soothingly, feeling bad watching his friend struggle.</p><p>“He <em>wanted </em>to sleep with me. Then when he did, I was a fucking <em>loser </em>about it, and now he knows that I’ve been owned before, and now he knows I’m damaged, disgusting goods. Better?”</p><p>“Did he… did you tell him to stop?”</p><p>“Kev, you’re missing the entire point of this catastrophic scenario.” Scott said, pinching the bridge of his nose. Kevin narrowed his eyes at him. “No. No, I didn’t tell him to stop.”</p><p>“Why not, if he was obviously scaring you?”</p><p>“It’s a long story.”</p><p>“Try me.”</p><p>“He choked me.”</p><p>Kevin searched Scott’s face.</p><p>“Not hard. But it just… triggered me. It reminded me of the night I started to break and I freaked out. But I shook it off… he just knew something was up. Now he knows I’m a glorified whore.”</p><p>“Scott. Stop.”</p><p>“What?” Scott was laughing now. “Matt even said so.”</p><p>“Matt was trying to hurt you. He doesn’t really think that.”</p><p>“Sure. Of course,” Scott said with an eyeroll.</p><p>Kevin was getting frustrated with Scott at this point. He paused when he realized that he was squeezing Scott’s biceps harder than he had intended. He also noticed that Scott didn’t seem to care. Kevin was unexpectedly very angry.</p><p>And suddenly, he wanted to give Scott a reason to be such a whiny little bitch. He wanted to rip his jeans off down to his ankles and fuck him against the wall that he was leaning against. He wanted to feel him around him again. He wanted to lean in and bite down on Scott’s lip, hearing him whimper, pathetically. No, he wanted to make him do more than whimper. He wanted to make him scream, to make him beg.</p><p>“Look away, Kev.” Scott said, his soft, understanding voice hitting Kevin like a ton of bricks.</p><p>And Kevin realized that his hands had moved from Scott’s arms to the fly on Scott’s jeans.</p><p>And he realized that Scott’s lips were red and swollen, like they had just been kissed much too aggressively. Or worse, bitten.</p><p>And his own lips were tingling.</p><p>And Scott looked far too calm.</p><p>Kevin flung himself away from the leaner man, and burst out of the front door, stopping only when he came to the sidewalk.</p><p>Next door, Jeremiah tried to distract himself with a boring conversation, only doing so because of its convenient location: Right in front of a window that overlooked Scott’s house.</p><p>His heart stopped as he watched Kevin explode from the house, stumble to the sidewalk, and fall to his knees as though he had been shot.</p><p>Jeremiah abandoned the conversation and sprinted out the door, himself.</p><p>“Kev! You alright?” Jeremiah asked, running up to him and sinking down to his knees in front of him. Kevin was trembling slightly, clutching his abdomen as though he was about to be sick. “Kevin, is everything okay? Is he okay?”</p><p>Kevin’s eyes welled with tears and he nodded. “I think so,” he mumbled. “That’s never… that’s never happened before…”</p><p>Jeremiah grabbed the man by his shoulders, panicking now. “What’s never happened before?”</p><p>“I almost…” Kevin’s eyes were distant now. “I was affected. I almost… God.”</p><p>“Did you hurt him?”</p><p>“No. Well… no, I don’t think so.”</p><p>Jeremiah wracked his brain trying to come up with a way to help. Scott obviously was not his biggest fan right now, which Jeremiah still didn’t completely understand.</p><p>“Let me go get your friends. You sit on the steps here and wait for them. Stay outside, okay?”</p><p>Kevin nodded, looking like his world was crashing down. Jeremiah’s heart throbbed in his chest for the man.</p><p>He walked towards his house again, turning only to see Kevin sitting on his doorstep, sobbing into his hands.</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0029"><h2>29. Junior Year, Part III</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I got nothing to say, other than I wish more people would comment and tell me what they like/don't like so far :) It helps me to write my future chapters more effectively! Or just say hi... that's cool too.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The next morning Kevin found Scott sitting on the same doorstep on which he himself had fallen apart not 10 hours earlier. The blond was wearing a soft, white hoodie, clutching a cup of coffee in his hands. His eyes looked exhausted, with small dark circles under them, as though he hadn’t slept at all. Kevin approached him slowly, and sat down next to him. Scott looked up at him and smiled softly, and Kevin’s heart broke.</p><p>“I thought I was better than it. Better than <em>that</em>,” Kevin said, finally finding his voice after a few minutes. Scott looked at him again, his face a mixture of confusion and hurt.</p><p>“What does that mean?” Scott asked, his voice quiet.</p><p>“I never thought I would <em>ever </em>have to worry about being affected by you,” Kevin said, shaking his head. “I’m so ashamed.”</p><p>Scott remained silent, watching the neighbors across the street for a moment, before speaking again. “That’s not how it works, Kev. It’s not a strength or morals kind of thing.”</p><p>“I’m supposed to keep you safe.”</p><p>“You’re not <em>supposed </em>to do anything for me.” Scott replied, his voice low, like he was becoming annoyed.</p><p>“Okay, correction: I <em>want </em>to keep you safe.” Kevin replied, changing his own tone.</p><p>“It’s a biological response, Kevin. There’s nothing we can do about it.” Scott sighed.</p><p>“You should have pushed me off, hit me, something.”</p><p>“So, it’s my fault, now?”</p><p>“What? No…”</p><p>“Were the other times my fault, too?”</p><p>“Scott… what’s going on?”</p><p>Scott fell silent again, picking absently at his cuticles. Kevin grabbed one of his hands, squeezing it gently.</p><p>“It makes no difference if I fight or not.” Scott mumbled. “It’s what I was made for.”</p><p>Scott ripped his hand out of Kevin’s hold, and stood abruptly, walking swiftly back into the house.</p><p>Kevin thought about him a lot that day. How he had changed since he returned home last year. How he sought out Alex, and now Jeremiah, for intimacy. How he made comments that seemed trivial, but once analyzed, were self-deprecating. How careless he seemed, especially when faced with someone who was attacking him.</p><p>Kevin shivered, despite the warm morning. At this rate, it was only a matter of time before Scott got himself into trouble with this attitude.</p><p><em>“It’s what I was made for.” </em>Scott’s words didn’t sit well with him.</p><p> </p><p>Scott shuffled into his web design class on Tuesday, trying not to make eye contact with anyone. Luckily, he noted that Jeremiah hadn’t yet arrived. He took a strategic seat in between two other people, in an effort to prevent Jeremiah from sitting next to him.</p><p>He wasn’t in the mood to feel <em>more </em>pathetic today.</p><p>He was staring down at his phone when he felt Jeremiah’s presence take a seat behind him, and slightly to the left. He didn’t look up. He didn’t have to. He knew it was him based on the way he paused behind Scott, obviously wondering if he should try to interact.</p><p>“Hey, man,” a deep, unintelligent-sounding voice muttered from the direction in which Jeremiah had settled. Scott flinched. He knew the voice. It belonged to one of the Sigma Taus that had attacked him at their party last year. Scott and his friends had kept a close eye on all of those guys, noting whenever Scott was close to them. This one in particular hadn’t bothered him since. That didn’t stop his voice from giving him the chills.</p><p><em>“Hurry up. I want a turn with the prettier one, too.” </em>Scott couldn’t forget those words. He scrolled mindlessly through his phone as Jeremiah’s voice returned the greeting.</p><p>“Heard you got your dick wet this weekend, that you had some fun at your party,” the Sig Tau said, and Scott’s mind started to race. How well did these two know each other? Did Jeremiah know about what this guy had done? Was that why he had wanted to pursue Scott this weekend?</p><p>Jeremiah laughed, the sound of which was soft and slightly rigid.</p><p>“Look at him, sitting there. Like he doesn’t know that this whole room wants a turn to fuck his brains out like the good little sex slave he is,” the evil voice continued. “Luckily I already had my turn. Last year.”</p><p>“What?” Scott heard Jeremiah reply. His tone was unreadable.</p><p>“Oh, hell yeah. I pounded him against a sink. Definitely worth having to share him with two of my friends.” There was a snicker on the edge of his voice as he recounted the story. Scott could feel the back of his neck turning red as he was determined to keep looking busy. “I destroyed that tight little ass of his.”</p><p>
  <em>Bang.</em>
</p><p>Scott was frozen in place as the room erupted. Chairs screeched against the floor and Scott heard the crash of a computer falling off of the table. Some girls were yelling, “Stop it!” and other people were cheering.</p><p>“You sick <em>fuck.” </em>Jeremiah’s voice angrily rang out, and Scott heard the <em>thud </em>of the other man’s head hitting the floor and fists colliding.</p><p>Scott couldn’t look.</p><p>He grabbed his bag and swung it over his shoulder, leaving without another word.</p><p>He heard the faint sound of his professor screaming for silence as she entered the room, clearly shocked by what she saw.</p><p> </p><p>Matt answered the door later that afternoon. “Hey, Jer-“ he began, but paused when he took a closer look at the man. “What the hell happened to your eye?”</p><p>“Did Scott make it back here?” Jeremiah sounded panicked as he rubbed his black eye, and Matt’s heart palpitated in fear, until he remembered that Scott had just passed him in the hall, upstairs.</p><p>“Scott’s in his room. He seems… fine?” Matt asked, only slightly nervous now. “Did he do that to you?” Matt’s tone was accusatory.</p><p>“No!” Jeremiah replied. “Can I go talk to him, just for a minute? Or can you send him down?”</p><p>“I’ll go get him,” Matt replied slowly, trying to assess the danger of this situation, and disappeared around the corner.</p><p>“Hi,” Scott’s small voice sounded a few minutes later. Jeremiah looked up from scratching the dried blood off of his knuckles to see Scott standing shyly in the doorway. He was rolling up the sleeves of his blue flannel shirt, and Jeremiah was sure that this was because he didn’t want to look at him.</p><p>“I know that this is how 30% of our conversations start, but I’m so sorry, Scott.”</p><p>Scott’s eyes finally met his, flinching at the sight of the bruise. “I’m sorry, too.”</p><p>“What could you possibly have to be sorry for?” Jeremiah asked.</p><p>“I know that you were fighting because of me,” Scott shrugged, looking at the floor again.</p><p>“Oh, God… please tell me that you didn’t hear what we were saying.”</p><p>Scott kept his gaze steadily on the floorboards for a moment. “Once again, I can’t do that.”</p><p>Jeremiah closed the distance between them, and lifted Scott’s chin to make him look at him. He was mortified that Scott had heard the horrible things that were said.</p><p>“I’m so sorry that this world is so cruel to you,” he barely whispered, running his thumb along Scott’s jaw, thankful that Scott wasn’t pulling away.</p><p>But Scott appeared to <em>want to </em>pull away, which hurt Jeremiah more than he thought possible.</p><p>“Do I make you uncomfortable?” Jeremiah asked suddenly, stilling his hands.</p><p>“No…” Scott replied, shifting on his feet. “Yes… maybe,” he replied after a moment. Jeremiah dropped his hands to his sides and stepped back.</p><p>“That’s the last thing I want to do,” he said.</p><p>“Why’d you hit him?” Scott asked, changing the subject.</p><p>“Because he was disgusting and the thought of what he and his friends did to you made me want to do much worse?” Jeremiah posed, cocking an eyebrow. They stood in silence as Scott mulled over that answer.</p><p>Jeremiah was first to break the silence. “When were you… taken?”</p><p>Scott took a gulp of air. There were the questions about what a whore he was, again. He knew they were coming.</p><p>“June, my Freshman year,” Scott replied, robotically.</p><p>“How long were you gone?”</p><p>“Three months.”</p><p>“Is that when you started to break?”</p><p>Scott nodded.</p><p>“What was your threshold?”</p><p>Scott took a deep breath, wondering if he should tell him. Might as well, he supposed. “156.”</p><p>Jeremiah’s hands clenched into fists. Scott eyed his hands and backed away.</p><p>“Scott… no.” Jeremiah suddenly realized, shaking his head back and forth, rapidly as he shook out his hands. “Oh, God. What were you thinking, just now?”</p><p>Silence.</p><p>“Scott, are you afraid of me?”</p><p>More silence, but then, Scott opened his mouth, tentatively.</p><p>“I know what you’re thinking.” Scott spoke softly.</p><p>“That I want to murder someone?”</p><p>Scott stared at him, then shook his head.</p><p>“That I’m a whore.” His voice broke, only slightly. But these words gave him the confidence to continue his train of thought, getting Jeremiah out of his house and his life quickly. “And that you regret having been with me, because I’m dirty and disgusting. And that you had originally thought it would be fun, and you and your friends were all joking about it… but you realized that I’ve been used more than you had thought, but only after it was too late. And now you regret ever even <em>touching </em>me. Which is completely understandable, if I’m being totally honest.”</p><p>Jeremiah watched as Scott’s eyes glazed over as he spoke, like he was on autopilot as these words spilled from his mouth. The scariest part of this, however, is that Scott clearly believed what he was saying.</p><p>“Everything okay?” Matt asked, entering the kitchen. “Scott?”</p><p>Jeremiah looked at the newcomer. He knew the man didn’t like him much. He could just sense it.</p><p>Scott nodded, stiffly.</p><p>“Okay, I need your help with something. Can you wrap this up and come here?” Matt’s voice was gentle. Jeremiah knew that Scott had good, understanding friends, but it was still nice to see it, even if it was a distrust of him that was driving it.</p><p>Scott turned to Jeremiah. “See you around,” he mumbled, and disappeared down the hall. Matt only nodded at Jeremiah, his eyes narrowed, before following the slightly taller man away.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0030"><h2>30. Junior Year, Part IV</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>It's my birthday!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Scott simply avoided Jeremiah at all costs, after that. He ignored the pained look on the older man’s face as he would sit on the opposite side of class, and avert his gaze as they passed each other.</p><p>They never finished their final discussion from the kitchen that day.</p><p> </p><p>Scott sank into his seat in his audio production class in February, just in time for the class to begin. He breathed a sigh of relief that he had made it before the professor had begun speaking. This professor was abnormally strict for someone in their field.</p><p>“Okay. It’s time to put all that we’ve been learning to the test. Last semester, in Audio Production I, and for half of this semester, you’ve learned the ins and outs of this software. Now, it’s time to write, record, and produce your own songs. I’ll be pairing you up. Don’t get excited, because it’s alphabetical order.”</p><p>Scott quietly groaned as the professor began rattling off names and students moved to sit next to their respective partners. He didn’t know a soul in this class. He prayed to be paired with one of the three girls.</p><p>“Hausdorff, you’re with Hoying. Ben, come sit next to Scott,” Professor Fitzgerald made eye contact with Ben and pointed at the blond. Ben grabbed his things and moved forward, smiling a friendly smile.</p><p>“Hey,” Ben said, quietly, putting his things down and flopping into the chair. “Nice to meet you, Scott Hoying.”</p><p>Scott didn’t initially love the idea of working alone in the campus studio with a man he didn’t know, but those fears were pushed to the back of his mind when he realized that this guy was actually a nice person, and that he was, in fact, very funny.</p><p>“So, what’s your major?” Ben asked, one afternoon, scribbling something in his notebook.</p><p>“Well, I started as a bio major,” Scott replied, and Ben raised an eyebrow. “But I missed the first week of sophomore year, and my classes that I needed in order to graduate on time were full. I was never married to bio, anyway, so I went with my second choice, which is music. I don’t sing, but I like to create, so I went with audio production.” Scott shrugged.</p><p>“Biology to audio production. Interesting dichotomy.”</p><p>“What can I say? I have a plethora of interests,” Scott laughed. “What about you?”</p><p>“Media studies, but my concentration is visual media. Videography, to be specific. I’d love to be a music video director one day.”</p><p>“Nice,” Scott replied.</p><p>“But don’t worry. I won’t be dead weight. I like to write and produce, too.”</p><p>“Any ideas, then?” Scott asked with a hint of laughter in his voice. This guy was calm and laid back, which was making Scott feel the same.</p><p>“Well, neither of us sing…”</p><p>Scott thought for a moment. “I have a friend in theater, she’s very talented. And my other friend, Mitch, is an amazing singer. I could ask one of them to come in and record any vocals we’ll need. I play piano, so I could do a lot of the instrumentals. And I have a friend who is amazing at the cello,” Scott brainstormed.</p><p>Ben looked relieved. “Awesome. Not to toot my own horn, but I’m great at mixing. Instrumental is more my deal. How are you with lyrics?”</p><p>“I have some ideas,” Scott replied, holding up his notebook. Ben took it, leafing through and skimming some of the pages.</p><p>“These are nice. Like… really nice.”</p><p>“Thanks,” Scott blushed.</p><p>“This one is sick,” Ben paused, reading it more thoroughly before holding it up. Scott blushed again, and nodded his thanks. “Does it have a melody yet?”</p><p>“Um, yes, that one actually does.”</p><p>“Can I hear?”</p><p>Scott took the notebook, eyeing the song that he had written the year before. The song was about Alex, and he felt a dull pain every time he looked at the words. Scott hated singing, because he hated when people paid even <em>more</em> attention to him. He sighed, knowing that this was the only way they were going to get anything done. He approached the keyboard, hoping he would remember, as he played a few chords before singing.</p><p>
  <em>Can’t think about it too much<br/></em>
</p><p>
  <em>Is just this moment enough?<br/></em>
  <em>You’ve got your version of love<br/></em>
  <em>This I know.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I know you put in the time<br/></em>
  <em>I see it weigh on your mind<br/></em>
  <em>Someone like you’s hard to find<br/></em>
  <em>This I know.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>But if it all ends<br/></em>
  <em>I promise, one day<br/></em>
</p><p>
  <em>We can be future friends</em>
  <em>
    <br/>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>And if we let go tomorrow<br/></em>
  <em>Just know<br/></em>
  <em>We can be future friends<br/></em>
  <em>We can be future friends.</em>
</p><p>Ben was silent.</p><p>“That’s it. That’s the one,” He finally said after a few moments. Scott exhaled. “I can put in a great break in there between verses. That melody, the lyrics… your <em>voice, </em>perfect.”</p><p>Scott’s eyes widened as he shook his head. “No, I think my friend Mitch will sound better.”</p><p>Ben cocked his head to the side, studying Scott for a moment. “If you say so.”</p><p>So, one week later, Mitch came in to record his vocals.</p><p>He placed the headphones back on the stand and bounced out of the booth. “This song is great,” he smiled, settling in between Scott and Ben at the controls. Ben nodded and played it back.</p><p>“This sounds cool, as a start,” Ben said softly as they listened. “But the vocals sound… thin.”</p><p>Scott was going to protest, because it seemed like a direct insult to Mitch, but he stopped when Mitch nodded, enthusiastically. “You’re right. It needs support in the lower range.”</p><p>“Scott, how low can you sing this?”</p><p>“I told you, I’m not singing.”</p><p>Mitch crossed his arms over his chest and glared at him. “Ben, just so you know, Scott has a gorgeous voice, but he never <em>uses </em>it. It’s a sin, really.”</p><p>“I don’t like to sing,” Scott added, simply.</p><p>“First of all, that’s a lie. You sing by yourself all the time. I spy on you.” Scott gaped at the smaller man. “Second of all, we need you to. Get in the booth,” Mitch replied, and Scott narrowed his eyes at him before complying, deciding that arguing further wasn’t worth it against one Mitchell Grassi.</p><p>They played it back afterwards, with Scott and Mitch’s vocals layered perfectly together. Scott watched as Ben and Mitch grinned at one another.</p><p>“This… is <em>perfection</em>,” Ben gushed.</p><p> </p><p>With an A under their belts, as well as the entirety of their class asking for copies of their song, Ben and Scott became quick friends after that. They were seated at a table in the campus café, drinking coffee after their class one day, when Ben looked puzzled.</p><p>“I forgot, you said you have a friend in the theater department here, right?” Ben asked.</p><p>Scott nodded. “Yeah, my friend, Kirstie.”</p><p>“You think she would be willing to help me with something?”</p><p>“Sure. She heard our song and said you’re a genius for that instrumental break,” Scott replied, sipping his coffee. “I can text her, if you want?”</p><p>Ben nodded, happily, so Scott sent the text, smiling at her response.</p><p>“I’m texting you her number,” he replied.</p><p>Scott realized then that he should become a professional matchmaker. May rolled around quickly, and Ben and Kirstie couldn’t keep their hands off of each other. Scott smiled fondly at the two, pleased with himself for accidentally setting them up.</p><p>Ben had needed an actress for his video project. Kirstie, being the diva that she was, ate that right up. The fact that Ben was attractive was certainly helpful as well.</p><p> </p><p>It was the final Sunday morning of the school year, AKA graduation day, when there was a knock on the door. Scott opened it without looking first, which was extremely uncharacteristic of him. He kicked himself immediately.</p><p>“Hey, Scott,” Jeremiah greeted, dressed in khakis and a white button-down. He fiddled with his graduation cap, nervously.</p><p>“Hey, Jeremiah. Congratulations,” Scott replied, returning Jeremiah’s sad smile.</p><p>“Thank you… can I come in for a minute?” Jeremiah asked, sounding small and unsure of himself. His handsome face still took Scott’s breath away.</p><p>Scott stepped to the side, allowing the senior in. They settled at the kitchen table, and Scott forced himself to keep eye contact with the dark-haired man.</p><p>“I’ve been trying to think of ways to say this to you… for months.” Jeremiah said, his voice low and serious. Scott suddenly felt like he might be in trouble.</p><p>“Okay…” Scott began, but he was immediately cut off.</p><p>‘Listen. <em>Just </em>listen. Okay?” Scott nodded, surprised at the tone. “What you said to me the last time we spoke here? What you said was not okay.”</p><p>Scott opened his mouth to reply, but Jeremiah held up a hand, and he closed it again. Scott thought back to what he had said that day, confused about what part could have sparked this reaction. Perhaps it was the part about him planning to sleep with Scott beforehand?</p><p>
  <em>Yeah, maybe he didn’t like me calling him out.</em>
</p><p>“I’m not done. I think you need help.” Jeremiah continued. Scott blinked at him, slightly appalled. “The way you spoke about yourself, the way you assumed <em>I thought about you,</em> it was disturbing.”</p><p>Scott became annoyed instantly and laughed under his breath, but he allowed Jeremiah to continue.</p><p>“To call yourself a whore, disgusting, dirty… how dare you?” Jeremiah spat the words out. “And to put words in my mouth? That I regretted what we did, that I had thought it would be fun and it wasn’t, that I was making fun of you to my friends… where the hell did that even come from?” Jeremiah asked, but Scott knew that he shouldn’t answer yet. “You clearly misunderstood me in that conversation. My heart breaks for you. You’re an <em>incredible </em>person. You’re beautiful, and smart, and charming. You’re <em>so sexy, </em>but Scott, you’re also so much more than that, and you’re so damn hard on yourself. I asked you about being sold, I asked you about your threshold, because the answers to those questions <em>terrified me.</em> To think of you being hurt that way… it had nothing to do with thinking you were ‘disgusting’, Scott.” He put air quotes around the word.  “It was me thinking that you needed to be loved. It was me offering that option to you. That was it. I wanted to be there for you. I wanted to help you to heal, to know you better. It was me laying my heart out for you, someone I <em>hardly even knew,</em> and it was you stepping all over it.” Jeremiah took a deep breath.” And I’m done now. You can speak.”</p><p>Scott wanted to reply. Really, he did. But he felt like far too much of an asshole to do so.</p><p>Jeremiah’s eyes glistened slightly, and Scott knew he would have to find a way to speak unless he wanted this man to fall apart at his kitchen table.</p><p>“I’m… so sorry.” Scott began, not quite trusting his voice, yet. “I made an assumption about you. Looking back, I realize that that’s exactly what I <em>don’t want </em>people doing to me. I wasted important time that could have been spent with you. That was stupid.” Scott shook his head, feeling ashamed. “I can’t change how I view myself, but I shouldn’t assume that it’s what everyone else thinks, I guess.”</p><p>“You can <em>absolutely </em>change how you view yourself, Scott. Please, just promise me that you’ll try.”</p><p>“I will. I’ll try… I promise.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0031"><h2>31. Senior Year, Part I</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thanks for the birthday love! Here is the start of senior year.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Scott’s 21<sup>st</sup> birthday was a bittersweet occasion. He was happy to be of legal age, but on the other hand, it also served as a reminder that they would be graduating this year.</p><p>He entered the kitchen to find it decorated with banners and balloons, and smiled fondly. He laughed at the bottles of alcohol littered around as well, and random cups of premade drinks.</p><p>“Guys, it’s 9 AM,” Scott laughed.</p><p>“It’s your 21<sup>st</sup> birthday. It’s important that your liver marinate in alcohol all day long,” Sarah replied, pushing a cup of margarita into his hand.</p><p>Scott sipped at the strong beverage and cringed. “Still buying cheap tequila, I see.”</p><p>“What, do you think we’re suddenly made of money?” Kristie asked, throwing a balloon at him.</p><p>By the time 2 PM rolled around, to say that they were drunk would have been an understatement. Ben was passed out on the couch, taking a “power nap” as he had called it with slurred words, an hour ago.</p><p>Scott looked down at his phone.</p><p>
  <b>
    <strong>
      <em>Alex Kirk: Happy Birthday, handsome! Wish I could be spending it with you.</em>
    </strong>
  </b>
</p><p>Scott smiled. He had made a distinct effort not to throw himself at his ex this summer, and luckily, Alex hadn’t begun to hate him for it. In fact, he, Mitch, and Alex were finding a groove with one another and their friendship had grown very strong, and most importantly, more platonic. Scott quickly typed back a reply before tucking his phone back into his pocket.</p><p>Scott was sprawled out on the couch by 3 PM, trying not to doze off. Suddenly, a heavy weight was on top of him, and it was giggling.</p><p>“You’re not supposed to sleep on your birthday!” Matt exclaimed, laying himself across Scott’s body and shaking his shoulders. Sarah giggled from behind him. It wasn’t often that Matt let loose to this extent.</p><p>“I’m pretty sure that you just made up that rule,” Scott replied, laughing.</p><p>“No. It’s in <em>The Official Handbook of 21<sup>st</sup> Birthdays</em>. Haven’t you read it?” Matt asked, touching his forehead against the blond’s.</p><p>“Haven’t had the pleasure. Who wrote it?” Scott deadpanned.</p><p>“ME!” Matt replied, cracking up, and laying his head on Scott’s chest. Scott embraced his friend, and felt his breathing evening out, quickly.</p><p>“Uh oh, you’re gonna lose him, Scott,” Sarah joked, moving closer. “He’s dead weight when he’s asleep. You’ll suffocate.”</p><p>Scott tried to slither his way out from underneath the increasingly heavy body, but Matt clutched him and nuzzled into his neck.</p><p>“Mine,” Matt muttered. Sarah froze for a moment, but covered it up quickly with a smile.</p><p>“Let me help you,” she said softly to Scott, prying Matt’s hands off of Scott’s ribcage. Matt settled back into the couch after whining temporarily at the lack of bodily contact, and snored peacefully.</p><p>“We have to go to the bars tonight. It’s the first time we all legally can!” Mitch exclaimed, hours later. Even Kevin nodded enthusiastically to that proposal.</p><p> </p><p>When they entered the first bar, it wasn’t too crowded, as it was still a bit early. They led Scott to the bar and announced his birthday to the bartender, who set a giant drink in front of the blond, smirking.</p><p>“For the birthday boy. It’s on the house.”</p><p>Kevin’s eyes narrowed and he swatted Scott’s hands away from the straw. “I’m drinking some first.”</p><p>Fifteen minutes later, when Kevin hadn’t passed out on the dancefloor, he dubbed the drink okay for Scott to have, and Scott sipped it happily.</p><p>Sarah remained quiet, watching the group of friends interact. Ben approached her after a while.</p><p>“You okay?” Ben asked, placing a hand on her shoulder.</p><p>“They’re all so close. Sometimes it’s hard to feel included.”</p><p>Ben nodded, understandingly. “Yeah, I get that. But hey, I’m honored to be included at all. Right?”</p><p>Sarah smiled softly and nodded, watching Matt out of the corner of her eye. Her heart twisted in her chest as she watched him stare lovingly at the birthday boy.</p><p> </p><p>Scott packed up and left the class first the following week. He entered the men’s room and placed his bag on the table.</p><p>He hummed to himself as he washed his hands when he was finished, tensing as the door opened and someone shuffled in. There was a grinding sound of metal on the floor for a moment. He tried to yell out as a hand was clamped over his mouth and his back was pressed up against someone solid.</p><p>“Hi.” The tone was low and flirtatious. Scott looked into the mirror. He recognized this man, only vaguely. “Jeremiah says hello.”</p><p>
  <em>That’s right. This guy was a friend of Jeremiah. Blake?</em>
</p><p>“Can I have my turn now?”</p><p>Scott looked around. He could try to fight, but this guy was the size of Jeremiah. Solid muscle.</p><p>He thought of Chris in a prison cell. Defense certainly wasn’t an option for him.</p><p>He felt the buttons of his shirt come undone and his jeans were pulled down.</p><p>Cold hands ran up and down his torso.</p><p>He was flipped to face the larger man, and he was hoisted up onto the counter.</p><p>“You’re so fucking <em>gorgeous</em>,” Blake grunted, attacking Scott’s throat.</p><p>Scott pushed against Blake’s chest, hating that the larger man didn’t even flinch.</p><p>He heard the door try to creak open, only to collide with something. Blakes strong hand clasped over Scott’s mouth before he could shout.</p><p>
  <em>He put the garbage can in front of the door. That was the noise. Scott, you’re so stupid.</em>
</p><p>Whomever was trying to come in had clearly abandoned the idea, and the door remained shut.</p><p>“Be a good little slut and get hard for me, baby.”</p><p>Scott clenched his eyes shut. Somehow, the fact that he hated the most was that he was completely naked while this man was still completely clothed. He bit back a pained groan as the man yanked on his soft dick.</p><p>One of the perks… or curses, of being a sécor, was that they could will themselves to get hard in just about any circumstance, as Scott had discovered with his master. This was especially useful when they were being ordered to get hard, and could be punished if they didn’t comply.</p><p>Scott wasn’t sure if he should just give in, but when the man yanked on him again and bit down on his collarbone, Scott made his decision.</p><p>“Good boy. What a beautiful cock you have. Too bad I can’t watch you fuck that sécor friend you used to run around campus with, with this gorgeous cock of yours. He’s dead, right? Someone fucked him too hard and made him lose his mind?” The man played with Scott’s newly hardened length.</p><p>Scott’s eyes filled with tears and he clenched them shut at the mention of Tyler. A soft hand caressed his face, mockingly gentle.</p><p>“It’s okay, beautiful. Maybe you can join him today.”</p><p>Scott was pulled to the edge of the counter and pushed farther onto his back as Blake unzipped his fly and lurched into him.</p><p>“Such a good slut. So fucking good. So fucking tight. Look at that cock leaking for me.”</p><p><em>Please, just shut the fuck up and finish, </em>Scott thought.</p><p>“Such a good little sex slave. I should take you home with me. Imagine how good you’ll feel when you’re broken. No wonder Jeremiah thought he fell in love with you. So fucking good. Look at this body.” His hands skated across Scott’s skin, pinching his nipples before gripping his hips.</p><p>His grunts and thrusts seem to last hours. No one else seemed to try to enter the bathroom. Of course not. That would make Scott far too lucky.</p><p>“I’m not going to cum until you do, slut.”</p><p>
  <em>Shit.</em>
</p><p>Scott clenched his eyes shut and thought of anyone else ramming into him, in a desperate attempt to finish.</p><p>He imagined Alex. He imagined Jeremiah. Finally, he felt his orgasm bubbling in his abdomen.</p><p>Scott whimpered as he came all over his chest and stomach. Watching Scott’s orgasm was enough for Blake, and Scott felt the man fill him up with a guttural groan.</p><p>Blake held him still by the hips, pressing on his hipbones painfully.</p><p><em>More bruises, </em>Scott thought.</p><p>Blake’s fingers brushed against Scott’s stomach, where Scott’s own semen was taunting him. Blake then raised his finger to his mouth, and his eyes fluttered closed.</p><p>“Why do you taste so fucking good?”</p><p>His fingers found more of the substance, and Scott refrained from biting on the man’s fingers as they entered his mouth.</p><p>“Taste yourself, slut. Taste how good you are.”</p><p>Then, Blake pulled out and zipped up his fly. He turned the corner and Scott could hear the garbage can squeal against the tile floor again. He leapt up from the counter, grabbing his clothes and locking himself in a stall.</p><p>The last thing he needed was for someone to stumble across him hurt, naked, and ready to be attacked again.</p><p> </p><p>When Scott arrived home, his friends were laughing loudly on the porch. Scott found himself smiling fondly, watching them as he approached.</p><p>It was then that he decided not to tell them. They were finally consistently happy. Scott refused to ruin that. He thought about the past few months. They had all fallen into a comfortable groove. They were relaxed.</p><p>Scott wouldn’t be the one to take that away.</p><p>He planted a smile on his face as he walked into the house, adjusting his collar to ensure coverage of his new hickeys that littered the base of his throat and his collarbones.</p><p>“Scotty! Come join us!” Kirstie cooed, holding her arms out. Scott nodded, laughing gently.</p><p>“Let me put my stuff down.”</p><p>Once in his room, he looked for something that would more reliably cover up the evidence. He settled for a hoodie and pulled it over his head before joining his friends again.</p><p>If his music dream failed, he could always pursue acting. His friends were none-the-wiser.</p><p>And if that failed, well… then he could do what he’s best at. What he’s made for.</p><p>Scott cringed, but placed the smile back on his face nearly instantly.</p><p>Only Sarah seemed to notice.</p><p>
  <b>
    <strong>Scott’s Count = 4</strong>
  </b>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0032"><h2>32. Senior Year, Part II</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>A little band named McFly makes an appearance in this one. The song is called "Tonight is the Night", and you can watch the official video for the song here: https://youtu.be/gqvJd2VhqTQ</p><p>You'll see and understand why I included them, and this song, by the end of this chapter... hopefully!  :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Apparently, word had gotten around regarding what had happened in the bathroom. Not to his friends. That would have been catastrophic, but no. It had gotten around to other people who thought it was their <em>right </em>to have Scott whenever they wanted.</p><p>Over the next few months, a bunch of these men had become very good at getting what they wanted. By December, Scott was starting to panic.</p><p>
  <b>
    <strong>Scott’s Count: 14.</strong>
  </b>
</p><p>He hadn’t expected the number to increase as quickly as it was. Now, to come clean to his friends? Scott couldn’t imagine how mad they would be.</p><p>How ashamed of him they would be.</p><p>He prayed that he could continue to hide the evidence, both physical and emotional.</p><p>His hair stood up on the back of his neck when he passed by groups of his new attackers, laughing, plotting.</p><p>Kevin picked up on his discomfort one day, as they walked to their respective classes together. Scott had insisted that he could walk alone, but Kevin had told him how stupid that was. Their classes were in neighboring buildings, after all.</p><p>They passed a group of four men and one whistled as they retreated. Kevin turned to glare, but Scott reached out a hand to stop him.</p><p>“Just keep walking,” Scott warned, his voice low.</p><p>“Do you know them?” Kevin asked, picking up on Scott’s nervousness.</p><p>Scott shrugged. “They just catcall me sometimes. No big deal.”</p><p>“That one looks like Jeremiah’s friend from the party last year.” Kevin said, turning again.</p><p>“Kev, please, just <em>keep walking.”</em></p><p>Kevin dropped the subject, but he made a mental note not to let Scott walk to this class alone anymore.</p><p> </p><p>“Ok. So… we’re going to go to a concert tonight. It’s like… 45 minutes away. Okay?” Mitch asked, flopping down on Scott’s bed.</p><p>“Okay. Have fun,” Scott said, glancing up to smile at his friend before returning to the book he was reading.</p><p>“No, dummy. All of us. Including you. So get ready. It’s a… rock vibe.” Mitch said, shooting him a smile as he left.</p><p>Scott sighed. He really wasn’t in the mood to be close to other sweaty people in a sea of bodies tonight.</p><p>Earlier in the day, he had been… surprised again. Scott was feeling sore and tired. He also wanted desperately to cry. For hours. That should be enough to help.</p><p>But the hopeful look on Mitch’s face was enough for Scott to get ready for this concert, making sure to wear a black sweater with a high collar in order to cover the bruises, before putting a snapback on his head.</p><p> </p><p>“You’re in for a surprise,” Mitch said, leaning in towards Scott closely. The group was in the left corner of the pit, with Scott pressed against the front barrier. They were right in front, and the group formed a wall around the sécor, just in case.</p><p>“What’s this band called?” Scott asked.</p><p>“McFly. They’re big in the UK… but virtually unheard of here. Which is cool, because they play smaller, more intimate shows here because of it.”</p><p>Scott looked around the venue, noting that it wasn’t that small at all. “Rock isn’t your usual genre.”</p><p>“Yeah… this is pop-rock, technically, but this is more for you, anyway.”</p><p>Scott raised an eyebrow. “Pop-rock isn’t <em>my</em> genre, either, Mitchy.”</p><p>Before Mitch could respond, the lights dimmed, and Matt and Sarah began clapping. Kevin whistled along with some other audience members. Kirstie winked at Scott from her place against Ben. Mitch squeezed Scott’s bicep, excitedly. Clearly, everyone knew something that Scott didn’t.</p><p>Four men walked out on stage.</p><p>“Hello, you beautiful Americans!” A British accent called out. A happy brunette in the middle was the source. Two blonds faced the back of the stage, plucking the strings of their instruments, ensuring that they were in tune. “We are McFly, and we are very happy to be here tonight.”</p><p>The drummer played a short intro, and the guitarist in front of them turned around to play a riff as the spotlight hit him.</p><p>Blond hair and piercing blue eyes, hidden only slightly by his thick-rimmed glasses.</p><p>“Is he a…?” Scott asked.</p><p>“He is,” Mitch said, excitedly.</p><p>Halfway through the first song, Scott watched the happy brunette bounce around the stage. He stopped for a moment, and made eye contact with Scott. Scott looked away immediately. When he looked back, he noticed that the singer was still looking directly at him.</p><p>Scott watched as the brunette approached the sécor singer, and whispered in his ear during the bassist’s solo. The sécor singer’s eyes widened in surprise for a moment, and his head turned. He made direct eye contact with Scott as well, before beaming at him.</p><p>Later in the show, the sécor lowered himself to a piano bench.</p><p>“See? He’s just like you!” Mitch exclaimed, excitedly.</p><p>“So, as some of you know, I, Tom Fletcher, am a sécor.” The crowd cheered, and Scott was shocked by the response. “I wrote this song when I was 19 years old. I never thought I would be able to play it for so many people. I’m so thankful that I have been given the chance. These words mean so much to me. This is called, ‘Tonight is the Night’.”</p><p>The crowd erupted into cheers again as Tom played the opening chords.</p><p>Scott found himself getting lost in the words, watching Tom sing what seemed to be Scott’s exact thoughts. Scott felt his breath hitch as Tom sang the second verse.</p><p>
  <em>Moments after it happened<br/>Thought ok, this is fine<br/>Then my heart took a holiday<br/>And I was left behind</em>
</p><p>Scott thought of the secrets he was keeping from his friends. He thought of how desperately he was trying to keep it together for them. How numb he continued to be.</p><p>
  <em>So I stayed in the shadow<br/>Of who I used to be<br/>Now I look like the person<br/>That's been walking over me</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Just one of a million people<br/>I didn't see it before<br/>So what am I waiting for?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Tonight is the night<br/>Tonight is the night<br/>I might have wasted the tears<br/>But I won't waste the years</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Tonight is the night<br/>Tonight is the night<br/>I admit to myself that I'm asking for help</em>
</p><p>Scott felt stupid as the tears filled his eyes and Mitch placed a hand on the small of his back, pressing there softly.</p><p><em>Just one of a thousand people</em><br/>Scared of asking for help<br/>For my own mental health</p><p>Scott watched in awe as the sécor bounded around the stage for the rest of the show, playing guitar and singing with a confidence that Scott couldn’t even begin to imagine.</p><p>“I have one more surprise for you,” Mitch said as the crowd filed out when the show was finished. He took out some cards.</p><p>“Backstage passes!” Kirstie gushed, excitedly.</p><p> </p><p>Tom was standing farthest from them when they entered the green room, but he brightened when the group entered the room and walked right up to them.</p><p>“Hi!” Tom exclaimed, as the rest of the band watched. Tom walked right up to Scott and smiled.</p><p>“Hi… you guys were great,” Scott offered, awkwardly.</p><p>“Thank you!” Tom said. “Come on in!”</p><p>Scott couldn’t help but notice that they were spending an abnormally long time with Scott and his friends. He looked over at Mitch, who didn’t seem surprised. What had Mitch done to make this happen?</p><p>“So… I brought Scott here tonight because he is actually a fantastic musician, but he’s convinced that he could never do this professionally.” Mitch said, after making small talk for a few minutes.</p><p>The happy brunette perked up. Danny, Scott had learned his name now, looked right at him. “Why don’t you think so?”</p><p>Scott felt put on the spot, and shifted on his feet nervously. “I just always thought it would be better to make myself… as invisible as possible.”</p><p>Tom nodded, understandingly. “I thought that for a long time, too. It was actually these three who helped me understand that this is actually the safest I’ve ever been.”</p><p>Scott shot him a hopeful look. “What do you mean?”</p><p>“I’m famous,” Tom stated. Then he laughed. “In England I am, anyway. Now no one messes with me, because they know that there will be public hell to pay.”</p><p>Harry, the drummer, nodded. “Traffickers wouldn’t <em>dare, </em>first of all, because the public would go nuts if they took him. Then there’s added security, which makes attacks very unlikely. Yeah, Tom is very safe.”</p><p>“And he also uses his celebrity status to spread awareness, which is cool,” the bassist, Dougie, chimed in.</p><p>“Sort of the opposite of what I was going for,” Scott replied. “But that makes sense, I guess.”</p><p>“If you want to disappear, you disappear to the wrong people.” Tom reasoned. “You don’t disappear for the ones who want to hurt you. You disappear in the eyes of the people who can actually <em>help you.”</em></p><p>Those words resonated within Scott.</p><p>“But wait. There’s a much more important question here,” Danny interjected. The group turned to look at him. “Are you even any good? Or are you trash?”</p><p>After Ben played their song, much to Scott’s dismay, everyone had decided that Scott was, in fact, very good.</p><p> </p><p>February rolled around, and Scott’s number wasn’t plateauing the way he had hoped.</p><p>
  <b>
    <strong>Scott’s count: 21</strong>
  </b>
</p><p>He walked home, listening to ‘Tonight is the Night’ through his headphones, hoping that Tom’s lyrics would give him the confidence to ask for help.</p><p>His hips ached as he walked; a painful reminder of what had just happened to him from one of his new biggest <em>fans. </em>He got ready to plant a smile on his face for his friends, to keep up the charade.</p><p>He paused as he watched Matt’s girlfriend run down the front steps, wiping tears away.</p><p>“Sarah!” Scott called.</p><p>“Not now,” Sarah warned, looking anywhere but in Scott’s direction. Scott tried desperately not to be offended as he approached her.</p><p>“Can I help?” Scott asked, wrapping her in a hug.</p><p>“Oh, Scott, you have no idea how obnoxious those words are coming from you,” Sarah said, confusing Scott further.</p><p>“Try me,” Scott said, rubbing her back and pulling her to sit on the steps. He lowered himself to sit next to her, his body aching in protest as he did so. She wiped her tears and surveyed the house behind them, looking for Matt before understanding that the coast was clear, for now, and he wasn’t following her.</p><p>“You’re so damn sweet,” Sarah laughed, but it was hollow, almost hateful. Scott had never had this sense from her before in the year and a half that they had known one another. He bit his lip, refraining from shooting a snarky comment back at her.</p><p>“What happened?”</p><p>She laughed again, spitefully. “I guess… here goes nothing,” She spat, looking up at the sky. “We were having sex.” Scott’s eyes widened for a moment. This wasn’t really where he wanted this conversation to go. He didn’t need to know about that side of Matt’s life, after all. “He went limp, like halfway through. He <em>keeps going limp.</em> It was like, the fiftieth time. I’m sick of him not being able to keep it up.” She shook her head, laughing. “So, very stupidly, I decided to say, ‘try thinking of Scott.’ And you know what happened?” Scott looked at her, his eyes narrowing. “His dick twitched. It <em>twitched, </em>Scott. At the mere mention of <em>you.</em>”</p><p>Scott was silent as he watched her face grow colder. “So, I broke up with him. Because he is in love with you and I’m sick of it. Or maybe he just wants to fuck you, like <em>everyone else</em>.” Scott’s heart plummeted in his chest as Sarah continued. “I don’t know. But I’m sick of watching him stare at you all the time. I’m sick of his grumpiness when you get attention from someone else. I’m sick of him watching and listening to him worrying about you, and I’m sick of his <em>dick twitching </em>for you<em>.”</em></p><p>Sarah stood up, dusting off her clothes. “Have fun with that, Scott. Boy wants you, bad. I can’t compete with that.” Her eyes were watery, and she looked at him with a mixture of jealousy and pity.</p><p>He watched her with a blank stare as she retreated down the street.</p><p>
  <em>What the actual hell?</em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0033"><h2>33. Senior Year, Part III</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This chapter was one of my favorites to write so far, because I wanted everyone to see more about what's going through Scott's mind, even though he's holding it together pretty well, most of the time. Let me know if it was an adequate job of expressing that!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Scott decided that this was a good enough reason to drink alone.</p><p>And by “drink alone,” he meant “drink until you can’t feel how much pain you’re in anymore and until you forget about how much better everyone’s lives would be if you weren’t in them.”</p><p>It was Kirstie and Ben who found him first, as they approached the front stairs after their final class of the day.</p><p>“Scott… you okay?” Kirstie asked, eyeing the bottle of whiskey in his hand.</p><p>Scott looked between Kirstie and the bottle in his hand a few times, silently, before taking a swig. “Great. Never better.”</p><p>He didn’t miss the look that Ben shot to Kirstie. “Oh, fuck off,” Scott muttered, taking another swig.</p><p>“Scott. That’s not nice,” Kirstie warned softly. “And call me crazy, but I don’t think you should be wasted out here by yourself. Who knows who could pass by?” She crossed her arms across her chest, and Scott wanted to slap the know-it-all look of judgement off of her face.</p><p>“Fine,” Scott sighed and stood up, clutching the bottle and wavering on his feet. Ben instinctively reached out a hand to steady him.</p><p>“Don’t touch me,” Scott growled, swatting Ben’s hand away. Ben’s eyes widened in sync with Kirstie’s, and he put his hands up.</p><p>“Scott, I would never.”</p><p>“Yeah, that’s what they all say,” Scott laughed, coldly, before spinning on his heel and walking into the house with the bottle in his hand, slamming the door behind him.</p><p>Ben stood in a shocked silence for a moment, before glancing over at his girlfriend.</p><p>“You okay?” Ben asked, reaching for her. Her lip quivered. “Babe, you okay?”</p><p>“What happened?” Kirstie asked, tears filling her eyes. “Did he get hurt again?”</p><p> </p><p>“…It was scary,” Ben finished, an hour later. “He was angry. <em>So</em> angry... and afraid of me, I think. And that bottle was almost empty.”</p><p>Kevin rubbed his eyes where he sat at the kitchen table, with Matt and Mitch next to him.</p><p>“What do you think happened?” Mitch asked, his voice nearly a whisper.</p><p>Kevin shook his head. “I’m not playing this guessing game.”</p><p>Matt sighed. Kevin placed a hand on his shoulder and gave it a light squeeze, knowing that he was nursing a broken heart while this was unfolding.</p><p>“I’ll go check on him,” Matt sighed, standing up.</p><p>“No, Matt, you don’t have to,” Kevin replied, softly. “You’re going through enough. If he’s drunk and belligerent, his wrath is the last thing you deserve today.”</p><p>Mitch and Kirstie nodded in agreement. Matt shook his head at each of them. “Let me do it. I’m okay, I promise.”</p><p> </p><p>Matt hesitated in front of Scott’s closed bedroom door and listened for a moment. It was quiet. Perhaps Scott had already drunkenly passed out. He took a deep breath and knocked, loudly enough for Scott to wake up from his drunken slumber, he assumed.</p><p>The door swung open to reveal a rather disheveled looking, but otherwise stunningly beautiful blond man through the opening. Matt mentally scolded himself. Scott wouldn’t look well even if his eyes weren’t drunkenly glazed over. His face was pale and those dark circles under his eyes had reappeared. The fact that his pretty blond hair was messy, and his sweatshirt was bunched awkwardly on his body, like he had just thrown it over himself, only added to how heartbreaking Matt’s view was.</p><p>“Hey. Can I come in?” Matt asked, trying to mask the concern in his voice.</p><p>Scott’s eyes narrowed, and Matt braced himself for his horrible mood, but Scott stepped to the side and gestured for him to enter.</p><p>“What’s going on, bud? Everything okay?” Matt asked, trying to keep his tone light as he looked for signs that Scott had been hurt. This sweatshirt was huge, and it was impossible for Matt to survey the man.</p><p>“Don’t worry about me. Shouldn’t you be worried about yourself right now?” Scott asked gruffly, reaching for the whiskey bottle again.</p><p>Matt sat on Scott’s bed, eyeing his angry movements, wanting desperately to help.</p><p>“Oh. Yeah… you heard?” Matt asked, rubbing his hands together, nervously. There was no way that Scott could know <em>why </em>Sarah dumped him… right?</p><p>Scott shrugged and nodded, as he appeared to be looking for something on his messy desk. Matt watched him for a moment, puzzled.</p><p>Scott reached for something towards the back of the desk, and that’s when Matt saw it.</p><p>“Scotty…” Matt’s voice came out as a whine as he leapt up to his feet to cross the floor towards his friend. Scott flinched away as Matt’s hand pulled down the collar of the sweatshirt to reveal a particularly fresh and angry-looking hickey. Matt pulled at the collar further and saw similar ones below it. “Who?”</p><p>Scott tugged at the sweatshirt, releasing it effectively from Matt’s grasp. “Doesn’t matter.” He sat on the bed, clearly moving more slowly and carefully than usual.</p><p>Like he was sore.</p><p>“It absolutely matters.” Matt replied, trying desperately to keep his voice calm.</p><p>“Not if I don’t know his name,” Scott shrugged, taking another swig.</p><p>There was that apathetic attitude that had scared Matt so much before.</p><p>Matt sat next to Scott on the bed, and pulled at the bottle in his hands. Scott growled, a low, deep noise within his throat.</p><p>“Can I have some?” Matt asked. Scott’s eyes softened just a bit, and he let the bottle go.</p><p>Matt chugged the rest of the bottle, in an effort to stop Scott from drinking any more. He cringed at the afterburn, and his eyes teared.</p><p>If Scott had already consumed the rest of the bottle today, he was probably feeling quite numb.</p><p>Matt reached for the blond’s collar again, and yanked it down before the other man could protest. His breath hitched when he noticed some softer hues mixed with the dark blues.</p><p>Like there were some old ones.</p><p>“Some of these aren’t new,” Matt said, rubbing a thumb against them. Scott rolled his eyes. “Please stop. <em>Please</em>. Your bitterness is killing me. It’s <em>terrifying</em> me, actually.”</p><p>“What do you want from me, Matt?” Scott asked, his voice so icy that Matt actually shivered.</p><p>“I want you to <em>feel, </em>Scott. I want you to be angry, yes. But not like this. I want you to want this man to pay. I want you to feel as upset as you deserve to feel, because this guy <em>attacked you, </em>Scott.” Matt’s hands found Scott’s jawline and he rubbed his cheeks with his thumbs, trying to soothe his friend. Scott’s eyes looked as though they were softening, like he was finally getting through to him.</p><p>But then, they turned icy again, and Scott stood abruptly, causing Matt to stumble backwards.</p><p>“What’s it to you, anyway?” Scott growled again. Matt’s eyes widened as Scott ripped the sweatshirt off of his head, leaving him standing in a loose muscle shirt. He pulled it to the side, exposing more of his neck and the top of his chest, and Matt tried to prevent himself from whimpering at the sight of the black and blue marks that plagued the beautiful, porcelain skin.</p><p>“Want more? Okay.” Scott’s voice was becoming shaky now, as he pulled his shirt off completely. Matt was frozen in place as he eyed his friend’s body, which was strewn with hickeys and bruises from his throat all the way to his oblique muscles. Matt closed the distance, and rubbed at the bruises on the blond’s hipbones, hating what they signified.</p><p>Suddenly, he wanted to kill someone.</p><p>“Who?” Matt growled in a manner that sounded just like Scott’s.</p><p>“I don’t have time to give you eighteen names, Matt,” Scott replied, sounding almost bored. “Though some were repeats, it still isn’t worth our time.” Matt could smell the whiskey on Scott’s breath as their foreheads were nearly touching, and he thanked God that he wasn’t feeling affected.</p><p>“Eighteen…? Scott, what’s your count?”</p><p>“Twenty-one.”</p><p>Matt’s eyes stung with tears. “You were at three.”</p><p>“Time flies when you’re a fucking <em>whore,</em> Matty.”</p><p>Scott tried to walk away then, but Matt instinctively reached for him, needing to keep him close. He embraced the blond, who tried to pull away, but melted into his grasp a moment later.</p><p>“You’re not a whore, Scott. Don’t say that,” Matt whispered, a pang of guilt in his chest as he recalled the time when he had called him just that.</p><p>“Then why do <em>you</em> want a turn?” Scott asked as he pulled away violently, his voice nearly a yell. Matt let him go, putting his hands up in defeat, due to his surprise.</p><p>“What?”</p><p>Scott approached him again, his facial features unreadable. “Sarah told me.”</p><p>Matt unexpectedly couldn’t breathe.</p><p>“So go ahead. Go ahead, Matty. Do it. Here.” Scott reached for Matt’s hands and placed them on his body; one on his torso, around his ribcage, and the other on his ass. Matt immediately moved the latter to rest on the small of Scott’s back, praying more than ever that pheromones wouldn’t come into play. Scott’s voice was breathy and flirtatious as he continued. “Go ahead. Play. I’m all yours. Play with me all you want. Your little toy. Hope you don’t mind that I come from the ‘slightly used’ bin. I still get pretty good reviews.” Scott grabbed Matt’s wrist, and guided his hand to run over Scott’s abdomen, towards the waistband of his sweatpants.</p><p>“Scott, please. Where are you?” Matt asked, just as he had that night when he had first become concerned about Scott’s mental state, two years ago. The tears were burning the back of his eyes as he pushed Scott against the edge of his bed, sitting him down, gently.</p><p>“I’m right here, Matt, I promise.” Scott mocked, mirroring his exact response from that same conversation as he looked up at him through his eyelashes. “Right here. But tell me… how long?” Matt’s silence urged Scott to continue. “How long have you wanted your turn to fuck me? Was it from the day you met me? Trying to play the long game, huh?”</p><p>Matt knew that he was looking at Scott, but his voice sounded foreign. Scott laid back on the bed, his muscles rippling beautifully beneath his skin above the waistband of his sweatpants, which were hanging sinfully low on his hips.</p><p>In any other circumstance, this view would have been heaven.</p><p>“Go ahead. Fuck me like the good little slut that I am. It’s what I’m made for.”</p><p>That was enough. Matt saw red as he leapt onto the bed, straddling Scott and pinning his hands above his head. Scott’s eyes widened only for a moment before narrowing again, as he prepared himself for what was coming. Matt leaned in close, growling in his ear.</p><p>“I would never, and I repeat <em>never, </em>hurt you like this.”</p><p>Matt could feel the body beneath him become slightly less tense.</p><p>
  <em>Please. Please, keep the pheromones at bay.</em>
</p><p>“I don’t want to fuck you.” His voice was slightly softer, but just as stern.</p><p>The muscles against him relaxed a bit more.</p><p>“I <em>adore</em> every inch of you. Every hair on your head, every freckle on your skin. Your smile, your eyes, your fingers, your toes, every. Inch.” Matt was nearly whispering now, as Scott stopped pushing against him altogether. “But no, I don’t want to fuck you. You know why?” Matt waited for a response, but continued when he realized that Scott wouldn’t be answering him. “Because I adore your laugh, your voice, your warmth, your light, your <em>heart</em>, I need that in my life so much <em>more </em>than those other things.”</p><p>Matt pulled away to look into the eyes of the man below him. His heart broke when he did so. He reached up to cup the sécor’s cheek, trying to convey how much he loved him with a look, and thumbed away the tears that were silently streaming down Scott’s face. He leaned forward and kissed the forehead of one of his best friends as he let him let his walls come down.</p><p>Scott’s eyes clenched shut and his body began to tremble. Matt couldn’t bring himself to move from his place, sprawled out over Scott’s body. He leaned in again, placing a kiss just below Scott’s ear. He wondered if that was too intimate, but then he realized that he didn’t care.</p><p>He whispered his next thoughts with his lips against the skin of Scott’s throat. “Shh, Scotty. I’m here. I love you. We <em>all</em> love you. Please, let us love you.”</p><p>Then Matt laid back down, his head pressed against the blond’s chest, listening to his panicked heartbeat as it continued to regulate. He was relieved when Scott’s hands came to rest, with one on the back of Matt’s head, holding him close to his heart, and the other on Matt’s back, tracing lazy circles there.</p><p>He heard Scott’s breathing even out, and Matt squirmed out of the man’s light grasp. He crawled up to look at Scott’s face as he slept, and couldn’t help the tears that fell, completely out of his control. He thumbed away a few more drying tears from the face below, and kissed him softly on the corner of his lips, before shifting the long, blond body on the bed and tucking him in.</p><p>“Someone should have warned us that just because we fixed you, that doesn’t mean you’re okay,” Matt whispered, shutting Scott’s door behind him as he left.</p><p> </p><p>Needless to say, Kevin took it the hardest when Matt debriefed them regarding Scott’s drunken meltdown.</p><p>He marched up the stairs as soon as Matt was finished, ignoring all prompts to stop from his friends, and halting only when he was hovering over Scott’s sleeping frame, beneath his covers.</p><p>Kevin peeled the blanket away and cursed under his breath. He reached down, rubbing softly at a particularly angry-looking patch of hickeys on Scott’s ribs.</p><p>Scott didn’t stir, and Matt was thankful for that. Matt knew that he would be embarrassed if he knew that all of his friends were seeing him this way.</p><p>“What did you say his count was?” Kevin asked, his voice low and wet.</p><p>“Twenty-one.”</p><p>“He was at three. <em>Three,” </em>Kevin whispered through gritted teeth. “How the hell did we miss eighteen?”</p><p>“We’ll just have to ask him,” Mitch whispered, eyeing the man in his bed, his eyes lingering on the blue and purple marks that marred his skin.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m sorry,” Scott said robotically, staring at his feet, as the group sat him down the next morning. His head was pounding, and he might throw up on this ugly carpet in their living room.</p><p>
  <em>Whiskey’s a bitch.</em>
</p><p>He didn’t fully remember what happened. He remembered yelling at Kirstie and Ben, then at Matt. He remembered showing him his marks, and telling him his count. He remembered portions of accusing Matt of things that were cruel and undeserved. He remembered suddenly feeling safe, but he couldn’t remember why. He remembered the whiskey, and his stomach lurched in reply. That was it.</p><p>“When did people start attacking you?” Scott looked up into Kevin’s eyes. They were heartbroken, and Scott hated that he was causing that.</p><p>“Age thirteen,” Scott replied, sassily, knowing that this wasn’t what Kevin meant. Even he hated himself for that response. Kevin didn’t deserve that.</p><p>Mitch rolled his eyes. “Enough. I’ve had it.” Kevin turned to him, shooting him a warning look. Mitch ignored it. “Stop being such an asshole. We don’t deserve that. We don’t deserve this. We don’t deserve to find out months later that someone we <em>love </em>is being horribly hurt and keeping it from us. We don’t deserve to lose you again. Scott, we don’t deserve to have to <em>bury you </em>one day.” Mitch’s voice was raising in volume with each sentence until the final one was shouted. Scott couldn’t remember the last time he heard him this hysterical.</p><p>“I hate to break it to you, Mitch, but you’re <em>going </em>to bury me.” Scott watched as the group stared at him in a shocked silence. “Oh, come on. You think I’m living a long and healthy life? You all know I’m dying by 30. Either someone will kill me, or I’ll be doing that myself.”</p><p>He watched as Kirstie leaned into Ben, burying her face into his chest. Now his heart was breaking for her. Why was he putting these people through this? Why had he ever let them get this close to him?</p><p><em>How fucking selfish… </em>Scott thought.</p><p>“I’m dying. Just like… just like Tyler…” Scott’s voice was suddenly distant. The group watched as he stared into space for what felt like an eternity, before his face crumbled and he lost all control of himself.</p><p>Mitch was in his arms in a moment, clutching him to himself where he stood, with a seated Scott wrapped around his stomach, sobbing.</p><p><em>Oh, there’s the emotion you’ve been looking for since the day he died, </em>Scott thought. <em>Welcome back.</em></p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0034"><h2>34. Senior Year, Part IV</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>A little feel-good chapter for you all before shit REALLY hits the fan. </p><p>Oops. I mean, what? Who said that? :D</p><p>(Enjoy happy, sweet Scott while you can)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Scott had allowed his friends back in, slowly. Into his head, his emotions, and fully back into his life. He was thankful that they hadn’t asked too many specific questions about the past few months. He allowed them to walk him to and from class, as long as they didn’t pick fights with people. Scott hadn’t told them specifically who had attacked him, but they all had a pretty good idea of who it was based on the stares and sneers.</p><p>It took every degree of willpower that they all had not to retaliate.</p><p> </p><p>Ben and Scott sat in their composition class together, an easy laughter leaving their lips, a few months later. Their professor walked in, clutching some papers in his hand.</p><p>Scott had decided that he liked this professor from the minute the first class had started. He was easy-going and knowledgeable. He also let his students pick their own partners for projects, which was awfully refreshing for a sécor.</p><p>“Final projects,” Professor Pace began. “They have finally arrived.” The class looked at him silently. “Don’t look so excited.” He passed out the papers. “You will compose or arrange and <em>perform</em> a set of three songs of your choosing. It can be any genre, as long as the three songs make sense. You can cover someone else’s song, as long as it is a unique take on it. Try to be <em>creative, </em>though,” he continued with an eyeroll. “If I get one more EDM mashup of songs from 2002 I might actually crawl into a hole and die. You will be pairing up. Yes, you can pick partners. Yes, you can recruit more talent. No, you do not have to be the one on stage, as long as I know <em>that you’re in charge. </em>Any questions?”</p><p>“Are we performing in here? For the class?” A student in the back asked.</p><p>“Thanks so much for <em>not reading </em>the paper I just handed out. You know I love that, McKenzie,” Pace laughed lightly. “We will be putting on a showcase in the main theater. Date and time is on the flyer. Invite friends, family, strangers on the street. I don’t give a shit. Now, get going. Time to start planning!”</p><p>“You and Mitch… ‘Future Friends’?” Ben asked, pulling his chair closer to Scott without pausing to see if he even wanted to work with him. Scott smiled fondly.</p><p>“Sure. At least we have one song already,” Scott shrugged.</p><p> </p><p>Mitch did a random run as he tried to compose the second song with Scott and Ben later that day. He giggled as Scott raised his eyebrow and continued singing the song that it sounded like.</p><p>“So you think you can stone me and spit in my eye…” Scott belted. Mitch nodded, laughing at how similar his run had sounded to the iconic riff in ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’. As he continued singing the next line, he was joined with drum beats.</p><p>Kevin emerged from the living room, playing air drums and beatboxing along to Scott’s vocals, trying not to laugh.</p><p>He stopped when three pairs of eyes were staring at him, widely.</p><p>“Sorry, didn’t mean to interrupt. Sounded like you needed accompaniment.” Kevin defended. “Also, your upper register is <em>insane</em>, Scotty.”</p><p>“Are we just going to ignore the fact that you just made those noises <em>with your mouth?” </em>Scott asked, dumbfounded. “Do it again.”</p><p>Kevin laughed, taking on the challenge. He continued the beat, adding more flourishes.</p><p>“Are you kidding me?” Ben asked, his mouth agape. “You’re like… a human 808.”</p><p>“Thank you, thank you,” Kevin grinned, taking a bow.</p><p>“I just got an idea,” Scott whispered, staring at Kevin, who was suddenly uncomfortable. Scott turned to Ben. “Go get Kirstie.”</p><p>“Wait! This is so fun. We need another voice. Scott, you’re a perfect baritone. We need a bass,” Kirstie pondered, an hour later. Matt walked in the door, throwing three textbooks on the table with a huff.</p><p>“Matt, repeat after me,” Scott said, ignoring Matt’s clear frustration with the source of those textbooks. He put his chin to his chest and emitted a note so low, it was almost comical.</p><p>The group was amazed when Matt mimicked it perfectly.</p><p>Scott smiled, and sang a low progression of three notes. Matt repeated it, flawlessly.</p><p>“Want to be in our band?” Scott asked, laughing.</p><p>“If it keeps me from having to become an accountant, hell yeah,” Matt replied, swiping the textbooks off the table.</p><p>“What should we call ourselves?”</p><p>“…Five. Five Tones. Pent. Pentatonic Scale. Pentatonic. Pentatonix!” Scott yelled. The rest of them looked at him fondly as he stuttered through his train of thought.</p><p>“Pentatonix, it is!”</p><p> </p><p>“This is kind of cool,” Matt grinned, peaking from backstage. “It’s cool that our parents came out here too, don’t you think?” He turned around to find Mitch turning a strange shade of green.</p><p>“I’m so nervous,” Mitch whined. Kirstie smiled, wishing her parents had come down. Her family technically lived the closest, and yet she would never expect them to support anything that had to do with Scott.</p><p>But they had worked so damn <em>hard </em>on this. Her heart ached, wishing she could share it with her mother and father.</p><p>“So wait… how long do we have between the end of song one and the beginning of song two?” Kevin asked, clapping his hands together, looking as nervous as the rest of them felt.</p><p>“A count of eight, but you’re the one marking the time!” Scott answered, looking slightly panicked.</p><p>Kevin smiled back, and gripped Scott’s bicep, supportively. “Yeah, of course.”</p><p>“We’re fucked,” Scott replied, looking like he might scream.</p><p>“No, no. It’ll be fine. We’re gonna kill it. They’re gonna be so surprised.” Matt said. “And we are all slaying these black outfits.”</p><p>They received a gestural cue and Ben grabbed a mic, bouncing to center stage.</p><p>“Hello, everyone! My name is Ben Hausdorff. My project partner, Scott, and I definitely didn’t expect this to be what we came up with. We started with an EDM vibe, pulled in some close friends of ours, and before we knew it… we had something entirely different. Tonight, make sure you focus on the lighting and production, as we all know that THAT is the true show. Oh, and I suppose you should give kudos to the tall blond in this coming group… that would be Scott.” Ben shrugged and watched as the professor laughed at his banter. “This is Pentatonix.”</p><p>The lights went dark as Ben ran to the lighting booth.</p><p>
  <em>Buy it, use it, break it, fix it,<br/>Trash it, change it, mail, upgrade it,<br/>Charge it, point it, zoom it, press it,<br/>Snap it, work it, quick, erase it,<br/>Write it, cut it, paste it, save it,<br/>Load it, check it, quick, rewrite it,<br/>Plug it, play it, burn it, rip it,<br/>Drag and drop it, zip, unzip it</em>
</p><p>Scott looked out into the audience as they sang the opening lines. Every seat in the auditorium was full. He instantly regretted his temporary insanity that led him to believe that a cappella was a good idea.</p><p>Who the <em>hell </em>likes a cappella, anyway?</p><p>But as they entered the chorus and the audience was on their feet, the weight fell off of his shoulders and he actually felt himself enjoying the experience.</p><p>They moved around the stage like they had been born on it. Scott glanced at this friends. Naturals, every single one of them.</p><p>“Our,”</p><p>“Work is,”</p><p>“Never,”</p><p>“Over.”</p><p>The lights dimmed and he heard Kevin’s light high hat beat, signaling the count to the next song, adjusting the tempo, as they scrambled to their new formation in the dark.</p><p>
  <em>Well, you almost had me fooled<br/></em>
  <em>Tell me that I was nothing without you<br/></em>
  <em>And after everything you've done<br/></em>
  <em>I can thank you for how strong I have become</em>
</p><p>Scott looked out into the audience to gauge their reaction to the Kesha choice. Judging by the way they were all swaying on their feet, silently, as though they were afraid to miss hearing a single note, Scott realized that perhaps Kirstie’s idea had been a good one.</p><p>He shouldn’t have looked over at his mother. He nearly lost it, looking into her teary eyes. The lyrics were clearly hitting too close to home for her.</p><p>
  <em>I hope you're somewhere praying, praying<br/></em>
  <em>I hope your soul is changing, changing<br/></em>
  <em>I hope you find your peace<br/></em>
  <em>Falling on your knees, praying</em>
</p><p>The audience remained silent for the final transition. Scott could have sworn you could hear a pin drop as he took a breath.</p><p>
  <em>Hello, darkness, my old friend<br/></em>
  <em>I’ve come to talk with you again<br/></em>
  <em>Because a vision softly creeping<br/></em>
  <em>Left its seeds while I was sleeping<br/></em>
  <em>And the vision that was planted in my brain<br/></em>
  <em>Still remains<br/></em>
  <em>Within the sound of silence</em>
</p><p>He could see the spotlights change over each member, to reflect what section they were singing. When Scott went from singing the lead to his baritone background vocals, the light on him changed from gold to a light blue. When he took over Matt’s bass, his light changed to a deep red. Ben was a genius for that.</p><p>This. This is what Scott wanted to do for the rest of his life. He wanted to get lost in the words, the music. He wanted to be able to ignore everything else. It left him numb, but beautifully so.</p><p>
  <em>And the people bowed and prayed<br/></em>
  <em>To the neon God they made…</em>
</p><p>Scott felt his throat screaming at him as he belted those words, and his friends joined in for the final lines.</p><p>He didn’t remember it ending, but the audience erupted again, and Scott was filled with a mixture of excitement and relief that it was over.</p><p> </p><p>They were each wrapped in their parents’ arms, with the exception of Kirstie, who hugged Ben’s parents lightly and politely, instead.</p><p>“Brilliant. Every one of you. Absolutely brilliant.” Rick exclaimed, squeezing the back of Scott’s neck, affectionately.</p><p>“You should make something out of this. This is an incredible thing you have going on.” Mitch’s father chimed in.</p><p>Kevin turned to his father, who awkwardly shifted on his feet. A true Nigerian at heart, Kevin knew that his father would not love it if Kevin pursued music as a career.</p><p>Kevin was surprised when his father spoke.</p><p>“They absolutely do.”</p><p>“Scott, Ben!” Professor Pace shouted, walking towards them with his hands raised in victory. “Best act I’ve ever seen come from my class, and I’ve taught this class since the beginning of time. The lights, the technical elements, the arrangements, the <em>vocals…</em> amazing. I’ll email the video to you both. I hope your parents are proud!” He finished, looking at the older couples clutching his two students. They smiled and reached for his hand, shaking it and thanking him. They fell into small talk afterwards.</p><p>“…Mom?” Kirstie suddenly asked, her voice wavering.</p><p>“Hi, honey. Congratulations,” her mother said as her father held up some flowers, almost as a peace offering.</p><p>She rushed across the floor and threw her arms around them at the same time. Her friends looked on, knowing that their friend’s heart was exploding with an acceptance and happiness that she hadn’t felt in almost ten years.</p><p>They were going to be okay. <em>This </em>was going to be okay.</p><p>
  <em>…Right?</em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0035"><h2>35. Twenty-One</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>A nice long one for ya today. And plenty of misery. Whoops?</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Baby, baby, baby, oh, like…”</p><p>“We found love in a hopeless place…”</p><p>“Some nights I stay up, cashing in my bad luck…”</p><p>“Now you’re just somebody that I…”</p><p>“Call me maybe.”</p><p>They waited for a moment as Ben finished recording. “Yes!” Kirstie yelled out. “We did it! One take!”</p><p>“This is gonna be amazing. An Evolution of Music… I’m gonna start this off in black and white… it’ll move to color in the 60s. If you guys don’t go viral for this, I give up,” Ben rambled.</p><p>“You give up? We haven’t even started yet,” Scott laughed.</p><p>“Alright, alright. Everyone out. I’m editing this now while I’m feeling inspired.”</p><p>They laughed as they left the room, sitting on the living room couches in their new house.</p><p>They decided, after graduation, that they simply couldn’t be away from one another. They had to pursue this, and they had to do it together. There was no other option for them. So, they moved to the outskirts of LA, and decided to rent a shitty little house together.</p><p>Scott thanked God for that. He didn’t know what he would have done, otherwise.</p><p>He didn’t like to think about that.</p><p>Ben emerged two hours later, grinning. “Who wants to see?”</p><p>One hour after that, they were online.</p><p> </p><p>Scott woke up to his phone buzzing, early one August morning.</p><p>“Scott? Are you alright?” His father’s slightly panicked voice rang through the phone before he could greet him. Scott sat up, rubbing his eyes.</p><p>“’M Fine, Dad. Why?” His voice was low and gravelly.</p><p>“Did I wake you?” Rick asked, sounding relieved. Scott made a sound of confirmation and his father continued. “So you haven’t seen the news.”</p><p>“No…” Scott felt his pulse quicken.</p><p>“Scott… I need you to stay in the house today, okay? With your friends?”</p><p>“Why…?”</p><p>He heard his father take a deep and shaky breath. It wasn’t often that he heard him like this.</p><p>“News just broke that there is a global initiative to create a census of sécors. The UN actually passed a protocol that they will be using over the next couple of weeks. Scott, all sécors must report to a local counting site over the course of this time period, where they will be held until they are confident that all sécors have been counted.”</p><p>“What…? Why…?”</p><p>“Because they realized that they have no idea how many of you are left. And they don’t like that. But Scott… I don’t want you stepping foot on one of those counting sites until I get more information. Something about this seems… off.”</p><p>Scott nodded, and cursed himself when he realized that his father couldn’t see that. “I understand.”</p><p> </p><p>He entered the living room to find his friends with their eyes glued to the television, where a man in a fancy suit was speaking at a podium. It was clearly a press conference of some sort.</p><p>“We have been assured that the purpose of this protocol is to keep track of sécors so our governments can do better to protect them. The UN has dubbed the sécor race an endangered species, and they have assured government officials that the purpose of this exercise is to begin the long journey of providing them with the rights that they deserve. For example, our President himself has said that he has personally been assured that one of the first goals of this census process will be to outlaw the trafficking of sécors.” Five heads snapped around to look at Scott, their eyes wide with hope. “But first things first. We must determine how many of these beautiful creatures we have to save.”</p><p>Scott cringed at the word “creature.” Though his friends looked back at the screen hopefully, he couldn’t help the fear that was bubbling in his gut.</p><p> </p><p>“Don’t go. Promise me,” Niall’s voice was low and pleading as he addressed Scott over FaceTime. Jesse rubbed Niall’s shoulders from behind him, and Bobby ran a hand through his hair.</p><p>“Why not, though?” Kirstie asked, coming into the shot of the camera. “If it’s to help you, why not go and get it done sooner?”</p><p>Jesse sighed, clearly worried at how hopeful Scott’s friends were. “We have no idea what the real reason is for all of this. Do you really think they want to save us?”</p><p>Scott looked at his friends, who were all staring at each other, silently mulling it over.</p><p>“We could be walking face-first into genocide.”</p><p> </p><p>“And here we have the sleeping quarters for sécors who have been counted and are waiting to be released.” The reporter on screen said, one week later. “As you can see, they have their own hotel room.” She stopped a sécor as he walked by. “Excuse me, sir. How would you describe your stay here during this process?”</p><p>“Oh, it’s great. I’m hopeful that other sécors will hurry up and help to start the process of saving us. And if I get to stay in a five-star hotel, where I’ve never felt safer, while I wait, why not?” The sécor laughed.</p><p> </p><p>Two weeks later, Scott received a call from his father again.</p><p>“I think it’s time for you to go.” Rick said. Scott was shocked.</p><p>“Really?”</p><p>“Yes. I’ve been calling legislators, organizations, everyone I know. Everyone seems to have a good feeling about this. And nothing will get done until you’re all counted.”</p><p>Scott called Niall, Jesse, and Bobby as soon as he hung up with his dad.</p><p>“They actually took Chris out of prison and brought him to a counting site?” Scott asked, his eyes wide.</p><p>“Yeah. If that isn’t acting in good faith, I don’t know what is. Maybe we were wrong about this,” Niall pondered, aloud.</p><p>“My dad wants me to go today.”</p><p>“Yeah…” Scott was surprised by Niall’s answer. He had been ready for a fight. “Yeah, us too. But I don’t love the idea of you being alone in there.”</p><p>“I’ll be fine. See you on the other side?” Scott asked, trying to sound positive.</p><p>“See you on the other side, my friend.”</p><p> </p><p>Kirstie was clutching his hand until he had pins and needles. “Kirst, my hand is going to fall off.”</p><p>“I’m sorry, Scotty.” She squeaked, loosening her grip.</p><p>“Here we go. You ready?” Kevin asked, turning to him and placing his hands on his shoulders.</p><p>Scott hugged him. “It’ll be fine. Hopefully I’ll be home in a few days, yeah? Before my birthday, at least.”</p><p>They each hugged as Scott was met with two guards. They were smiling gently.</p><p>“Hello, sir. You’re here for the census?” Scott nodded. “Alright. We are going to ask that you either turn your phone in to us, or you can leave it with your friends.”</p><p>Scott looked at him, confused.</p><p>“We are hyper aware that there is a lot of ‘fake news’ circulating. It’s the policy of the protocol that we don’t allow circulation of false stories from sécors who want to cause a ruckus. Don’t worry. There are phones for use inside, so you can call your friends and family. Just no social media.”</p><p>Kevin’s eyes narrowed. Scott turned and handed his phone to him. “It’s fine.”</p><p>Kevin handed the phone to Matt to hold on to as they watched Scott’s retreating back, the guards walking casually on either side of him, laughing and talking animatedly to one another as Scott walked silently.</p><p>“He’s fine,” Mitch said, putting it out into the universe, hoping that would help.</p><p>“He’s fine.” Kirstie repeated, shakily.</p><p>“Guys…” Matt said, his voice breaking. They turned to look at him, and he held up Scott’s phone.</p><p>
  <b>
    <strong>
      <em>Niall Horan: DON’T GO IN.</em>
    </strong>
  </b>
</p><p>Kevin’s eyes widened as he snatched the phone from Matt, calling Niall.</p><p>It rang and rang before a “Mailbox is full” message echoed through the receiver. He heard everyone’s panicked breathing as he called Jesse.</p><p>Same message.</p><p>He called Bobby.</p><p>Same. Message.</p><p>“What <em>the hell</em> have we done?”</p><p> </p><p>As soon as the door to his room was shut, he knew he was in trouble.</p><p>“Jackpot,” the previously-friendly guard to his left said, throwing Scott to the floor.</p><p>The other guard was holding him tightly a moment later, working to tie Scott’s hands behind his back. “This one is a whole other level of fuckable,” he muttered. “Did I keep my cool well enough? I almost nutted at the sight of him. Hope his friends didn’t notice,” he laughed.</p><p>“You were fine. Do we get to try him out first?” the first guard asked, sinking to his knees in front of Scott with a ball gag in his hands.</p><p>Scott considered spitting in the man’s face, but he knew that the man might actually enjoy that.</p><p>As it turned out, they <em>were</em> allowed to try him out.</p><p>
  <b>
    <strong>Scott’s Count: 23</strong>
  </b>
</p><p> </p><p>“Yes, I understand. Listen. If you’ll just listen,” the same man in the suit stood at the same podium the following week, as Kirstie, Ben, Matt, Kevin, and Mitch watched the news with teary eyes.</p><p>“Yes, please. Quiet down. Thank you. I understand that this is a scary time. You’re annoyed. You’re frustrated. You’re scared for your loved ones. I want to assure you that those sécors which have been taken were done so at sites that were not in compliance with the UN guidelines. These sites are being looked into and they WILL be faced with consequences. We are working diligently to return your loved ones to you. Please know and understand that this was not the intention behind the census.”</p><p>“How…? Niall, Bobby and Jesse were at a different site across the <em>country, </em>and Chris was at yet <em>another. </em>They all disappeared, and we are expected to believe that it was individually planned by these sites? This is bullshit,” Kevin groaned, placing his head in his hands.</p><p>They sat in silence, staring at the TV, physically incapable of shedding any more tears.</p><p>“If he dies…” Matt started, after nearly an hour of silence. His eyes welled with tears and he never finished his thought.</p><p> </p><p>One month later, Scott pulled at the chains by which he was hanging. His arms were tired, and his fingers were tingling from lack of circulation where they were situated above his head. His jaw hurt from the gag, and he was freezing.</p><p>Being in a dark basement in nothing but briefs and a leather collar would do that to you, he supposed.</p><p>He tried to stand. He vowed not to allow his muscles to atrophy due to lack of use. He was going to find a way out of here, no matter how long that took. He was successful after a moment, and he walked back and forth as much as possible, along the track of the pipe that he was chained to.</p><p>He had tried to pull on the pipe with all of his might in an effort to break it.</p><p>It was a very strong pipe.</p><p><em>Strong enough to hang myself… </em>Scott shook the thought away.</p><p>And it was long. It trailed around the entirety of the basement. Since Scott’s chain was looped over it, he was able to walk the perimeter of the room this way.</p><p><em>At least they gave me a toilet,</em> he supposed, eyeing the porcelain bowl in the corner.</p><p>Then he eyed the bed in the center. He wished he could reach it. It was very comfortable, and he knew he needed sleep. But he knew for what that bed was reserved. Maybe he could manage to fall asleep while he was being used on it, he thought.</p><p>He sank to his knees as he heard the door at the top of the stairs click shut. He listened as a pair of feet shuffled down the stairs.</p><p>“Good morning, beautiful.” A middle-aged man said, brightly. He wasn’t ugly. In fact, he was quite handsome. Scott knew better than to trust his tone. This man was actually potentially a psychopath, as he had proven several times already.</p><p>Scott felt the gag loosen and the man removed it from his mouth. Scott moved his jaw back and forth a few times, testing out the movement.</p><p>“Good morning, Master,” Scott replied, looking up into his eyes, submitting. Maybe if he was good enough, he would deem the gag unnecessary.</p><p>“You didn’t sleep?” The man asked, cupping his cheek, softly.</p><p>
  <em>Oh, so he’s in the fake-nice mood today.</em>
</p><p>Scott shook his head, but mentally cursed himself for doing so. “No, Master,” he corrected, not breaking eye contact.</p><p>He felt the chains loosen and his arms dropped to his sides. His shoulders screamed in agony at him.</p><p>“On the bed. Go.”</p><p>Scott rose to his feet, unsteadily. He lowered himself onto the bed, on his stomach, just as the man liked. He lifted his ass up slightly as he felt two fingers hook the waistband of his briefs, and they were pulled off.</p><p>He could easily fall asleep here, Scott thought, no matter what his master was doing to him.</p><p>He was just so <em>tired.</em></p><p>He registered the groan that his master emitted before he noticed how painfully stretched open he was.</p><p>That was probably the sign of a problem, Scott thought.</p><p>
  <b>
    <strong>Scott’s Count: 70.</strong>
  </b>
</p><p> </p><p>“Okay. Okay. Thank you. Yes, I do plan on going there.”</p><p>Kirstie and Mitch watched as Kevin spoke on the phone. It had been two months now, but they hadn’t stopped looking.</p><p>Not one of their friends had been found, yet.</p><p>Not a single one.</p><p>Kevin hung up and flopped on the couch next to Matt. “Who wants to come with me to New York?”</p><p>They all stared at him, silently.</p><p>“There’s a strip club there. Apparently, word through the grapevine is that there is an underground, illegal sécor sex club underneath.</p><p>“…Those exist?” Mitch blinked slowly at him.</p><p>“Those exist.”</p><p> </p><p>They could actually smell sex in the air as they descended the stairs. Kevin had decided to take only Matt with him. Too big of a group would cause too much suspicion, they reasoned.</p><p>“Keep your eyes open and stay with me. If you feel funny, let me know. I’ll do the same.” Kevin muttered, looking around the club. Matt nodded.</p><p>Kevin’s eyes focused on the back of a tall, lean sécor. His blond hair was flipped to one side, and his bare shoulders were just broad enough… Kevin was filled with hope.</p><p>“Matty…” Kevin started, hopefully. But his heart shattered as the sécor turned.</p><p>His face was pretty. It certainly wasn’t pretty enough to be the one that they were looking for. He groaned.</p><p>Matt was watching as a sécor grinded down against a slimy looking man. He wanted to rip the sécor off of his lap, to smack the nasty grin off of the ugly man’s face. He gagged a bit as the man’s hands wandered across the sécor’s body. Matt found himself praying that Scott wasn’t here.</p><p>“Let’s get a drink, before we start looking suspicious,” Kevin said snapping him out of his thoughts.</p><p>With drinks in hand, they continued to survey the room.</p><p>“How are they hiding so many sécors down here?” Kevin asked. The place was crawling with them.</p><p>“No fucking way,” Matt grumbled, his eyes fixated over Kevin’s shoulder. Kevin’s pulse quickened as he turned.</p><p>“Is that… is that Bobby?”</p><p>Kevin sat on a couch close to where Bobby was pressed up against the wall, allowing a man to attack his face with his lips. Kevin wasn’t even completely sure that it was him, but he wanted to be close enough to be able to talk as soon as he was freed by his attacker.</p><p>He waved off a sécor as they approached, looking timid. The sécor looked relieved as they turned away.</p><p>“Can I have a turn?” Kevin asked as the man abandoned the could-be-Bobby. His breath was caught in his throat as he laid eyes on him.</p><p>It was definitely Bobby. And he was definitely broken. Kevin watched with wide eyes as Bobby approached him, looking around before sinking down on his lap, straddling his waist and leaning in close.</p><p>“Are you… broken?” Kevin started, placing his hands on the small of Bobby’s back. Bobby simply nodded as he grinded down against him.</p><p>“Can I get a private room with you? Is that how this works?” Kevin asked, his voice hushed. Bobby nodded again. Kevin prayed he hadn’t gone mute, as some sécors were known to do. Bobby stood and took him by the hand, leading him to a burly looking man.</p><p>“My new friend here wants a private show,” Bobby said, batting his eyelashes. Kevin breathed a sigh of relief at the sound of his voice.</p><p>“This one’s broken, so that’ll be extra. $1,500 for 15 minutes.”</p><p>“I’m sorry… what?” Kevin’s voice was a squeak.</p><p>“It’s okay, it’s almost your birthday, anyway,” Matt rushed over, holding a wad of cash that they had prepared, just in case. “Enjoy, birthday boy.”</p><p>As soon as the door shut, Kevin started to panic, trying to think of as many questions he needed to ask as possible.</p><p>“Shh,” Bobby whispered, kissing Kevin’s neck.</p><p>“What are you…? Bobby…”</p><p>“Shhh. Cameras. Look like you’re enjoying this, okay?”</p><p>Kevin caught on then, and placed a kiss on Bobby’s throat. Their conversation needed to be hushed. He understood that now.</p><p>“Are you here alone?”</p><p>Bobby shook his head.</p><p>“Who is here with you?” Kevin’s voice was hopeful.</p><p>“Jesse,” Bobby whispered. Kevin’s heart sank when the name wasn’t Scott’s.</p><p>“Is he… broken too?”</p><p>Bobby shook his head. “Not yet. He has a high number… got fixed one time… you looking for Scott?” Bobby looked into his eyes, feigning a seductive look as Kevin was pushed backwards on the couch. Kevin nodded. “He’s too pretty to be here.”</p><p>“What do you mean?” Kevin whispered.</p><p>“They probably sold him for top dollar. He’s definitely being used… <em>privately</em>.”</p><p>Kevin felt his stomach churn. “How can we help you, Bobby?”</p><p>“There’s no helping me, Kev.” Bobby replied, kissing him behind the ear.</p><p>“We can get the place raided.”</p><p>“Don’t do that.”</p><p>“Why not?”</p><p>“If I get separated from Jesse… I don’t stand a chance.” He pulled back and stared into Kevin’s eyes, his own eyes pleading with him.</p><p>“Does it hurt? Being broken?”</p><p>“It did at first. Now I’m numb, other than my sudden urges to kill myself.” Bobby replied, and leaned close to his ear again.</p><p>“You’re gonna have to fuck me… or pretend to.” Bobby added after a moment. “Get behind the couch and I’ll bend over. You can pretend to be fucking me from behind. Otherwise they’ll know something is up. You spent well over a grand, after all.”</p><p>Kevin complied, hating every second of this charade, and desperately wishing that he could save each and every one of these people.</p><p>“Now what?” Matt asked quietly as they left the club.</p><p>“I have no idea.” Kevin replied, trying not to cry.</p><p> </p><p>Scott’s hips screamed at him in protest of being in this position again. Scott was on his back, and his master draped Scott’s legs over his shoulders as he bottomed out within him. But suddenly, he pulled out.</p><p>“Have a special surprise for you.”</p><p>He shuffled below the bed for a minute, and withdrew a long, black box. He looked at him with lustful eyes as he removed the cover.</p><p>Scott clenched his eyes shut after laying eyes on the object: a long, thick dildo that looked as though it might split him in half.</p><p>“You want this, baby?”</p><p>Scott wanted to scream in protest. He wanted to beg this man not to do this.</p><p>But he knew better.</p><p>“Yes, Master.”</p><p>He lubed it up quickly, and pressed it to Scott’s entrance. Scott yelped as it entered him harshly, and his master twisted and pushed it into him unforgivingly.</p><p>Scott whimpered and groaned, unintentionally.</p><p>“So pretty, how you fall apart like this,” his master cooed. “Get hard for me.”</p><p>Scott willed it, thankful when it worked.</p><p>“Such a good boy.”</p><p>Scott’s breath hitched when his master jammed it into him, surprising him with a new feature of the toy.</p><p>It vibrated against his prostate until he was screaming.</p><p>And that was when his master realized that he really, <em>really </em>liked to hear Scott scream.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0036"><h2>36. Age Twenty-Two, Part I</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>More sadness here. I'm sure you knew that already.</p><p>Uh... in other news, how 'bout that video for My Favorite Things, eh? Delightful.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Scott was pretty sure that it was his half-birthday, but he couldn’t be sure. Not that half-birthdays meant anything. It really just meant that he had been here for over six months.</p><p>Time was standing still and flying, all at the same time.</p><p>And now he was kneeling in the basement with his hands chained above him again, listening to some sort of party that was taking place up the stairs.</p><p><em>Alcohol and sécors don’t mix, </em>Scott thought of the words spoken by Kirstie frequently.</p><p>Parties weren’t proving to be good nights for Scott.</p><p>Several footsteps came bounding down the stairs as if on cue.</p><p>“What’s his threshold?” One man asked, approaching him.</p><p>“He’s getting close, I’m pretty sure, so be careful. I’m not ready to take care of a broken sécor yet.”</p><p>“You know how to stop it, right?”</p><p>Scott’s heart thumped painfully in his chest. There was a way to stop it?</p><p>“What do you mean, stop it?” his master replied, sounding doubtful.</p><p>“Heroin. Just keep him dosed up, and he won’t break. It’s fool-proof. My cousin did it to his. As soon as he stopped the dosage, though, he started to break right away, so you have to keep that shit flowing. I wouldn’t want to risk breaking this pretty thing, either.”</p><p>“You’re lying.”</p><p>“I’m not. I’ll get you some. If you let me play whenever I want to, that is.” The new man sank to his knees in front of Scott. “I would love to have my hands on this body.”</p><p>“Sounds like a deal.”</p><p>
  <b>
    <strong>Scott’s Count: 151.</strong>
  </b>
</p><p> </p><p>“And now for some entertainment news,” the reporter smiled as Mitch gasped. He paused the TV, biting down on his fingers with excitement.</p><p>“Guys! Get down here, now!” Mitch screamed. A bunch of frantic bodies joined him in the living room as he pressed play. Kevin pulled his new girlfriend, Leigh, by the hand onto a couch as well.</p><p>“What you’re watching is ‘The Evolution of Music’ by a cappella group, <em>Pentatonix. </em>These talented kids put this video together in one take. It has gone absolutely viral in the past week, with people wondering how they are possibly this talented!”</p><p>Mitch looked at his friends excitedly. Kevin smiled back at him, sadly, as he watched Scott’s face on the screen.</p><p>“This is so cool!” Leigh exclaimed, and they smiled at her, politely. “Your friend is so handsome…”</p><p>“I have an idea.” Kevin said, standing abruptly.</p><p> </p><p>They sat in front of the camera and Mitch fixed his hair, brushing it to the side of his forehead. Ben sat off to the side, not wanting to confuse anyone. Yes, there were only four of them. Yes, he wanted the world to know that one was missing.</p><p>“Ready?” The reporter asked, smiling. They smiled politely back at her, and the camera was rolling.</p><p>“If you have been following social media, or if you watched our entertainment segment last week, you might recognize these guys. This is Pentatonix, the a cappella group whose ‘Evolution of Music’ video has likely been filling your speakers.” The lady beamed into the camera before turning to the group. “Please, introduce yourselves.”</p><p>“I’m Kirstin Maldonado. I’m the Soprano.”</p><p>“I’m Mitch Grassi, Tenor.”</p><p>“I’m Matt Sallee, Bass.”</p><p>“And I’ve Kevin Olusola. Beatboxer.”</p><p>“We seem to be missing an important section,” The reporter asked, as planned.</p><p>“We are currently missing our Baritone, Scott Hoying,” Mitch spoke into his microphone, trying to keep his voice steady. “He was the tall, blond, handsome one in the video. I’m sure everyone noticed his absence before we even said anything,” he laughed, gently.</p><p>“I’m also sure that it doesn’t come as a surprise that he’s a sécor,” Matt chimed in. “This video was recorded back in July. Since then, Scott has fallen victim to the Sécor Census. We…” Matt searched for the words, but the lump in his throat was becoming more difficult to speak through.</p><p>“We can’t find him.” Kevin interjected, looking sadly at the reporter.</p><p>“That must be so hard for you all,” The reporter said, a fake sadness in her tone. Mitch wanted to smack her.</p><p>“It’s been awful. We haven’t stopped looking. Scott, if you’re out there, we are still looking for you. We haven’t stopped, and we will find you and bring you home. Please be strong, okay?” Kevin said, staring into the camera lens.</p><p>“The repercussions of the Census have been tragic,” the reporter said, looking into the lens. “You, too, can help. If you have any information regarding a missing sécor’s whereabouts, please call this hotline.”</p><p> </p><p>Kevin was satisfied with how the interview had gone. His satisfaction only grew when he saw more comments rolling in on their video.</p><p>
  <b>
    <strong>Oh my gosh I just became obsessed and the guy is MISSING?</strong>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <strong>Secor violence is so fucked up.</strong>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <strong>#BringScottHome</strong>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <strong>Everyone, keep your eyes open! Bring this guy home!</strong>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <strong>OMG he looks so sweet. This is so sad!</strong>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <strong>This dude is stunning. I hate to think about what he’s going through :/</strong>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <strong>What can we do to help? Seriously, #BringScottHome</strong>
  </b>
</p><p>Anything good?” Kirstie asked, sitting next to him and peering over his shoulder.</p><p>“So much support,” Kevin mumbled, reading through more comments.</p><p>“That’s great! Right?” Leigh asked.</p><p>Kevin nodded.</p><p>“We just have to keep outraging people.”</p><p>“Let’s post the video of the showcase. With our three songs. People will eat that up. He sounded so good in Praying.”</p><p>“Kirstie, that’s the best idea you’ve ever had.”</p><p> </p><p>Scott was sprawled out on the bed. He couldn’t feel his arms. He couldn’t feel his legs. He certainly couldn’t feel the presence of the man sprawled out across him, placing kisses along his leather collar and whispering what a good boy he was.</p><p>He heard the vibrating toy, and knew that there were multiple people in the room. He could hear them groaning and whispering, and he could feel light touches across his body, but there was no pain, just pressure, as something entered him.</p><p>He was floating. It felt nice. Numb.</p><p>
  <b>
    <strong>Scott’s Count: 498.</strong>
  </b>
</p><p> </p><p>More comments came flooding in on a daily basis. Kevin read through them, carefully, making sure there were no clues from potential masters.</p><p>
  <b>
    <strong>Did they find this guy yet? It’s been so long.</strong>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <strong>Reply: They haven’t found most of them! And the ones they did find were dead or broken. It’s so horrible! America, do better!</strong>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <strong>It’s been almost a year since the Census. How is this still an issue?</strong>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <strong>God, he’s pretty.</strong>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <strong>Reply: I know, right? Gorgeous.</strong>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <strong>Reply: I’d buy him.</strong>
  </b>
</p><p>Kevin’s stomach churned and he slammed the laptop shut. That was enough for the day.</p><p> </p><p>“Happy Anniversary, Baby,” Scott heard, but it sounded like it was down a long corridor. He tried desperately to open his eyes. No, they were already open. Scott laughed. Or maybe he just thought he was laughing. It was hard to tell, when he couldn’t feel. “You’ve been mine for one year. And you’ve been such a good boy.”</p><p>He felt something inside of him again, but he couldn’t make out what it was.</p><p>
  <b>
    <strong>Scott’s Count: 653.</strong>
  </b>
</p><p> </p><p>“An Executive Order has been passed, effective October 1<sup>st</sup>, 2014. All trafficking and owning of sécors is officially outlawed in the United States of America. Those who are in possession of a sécor have a seven-day grace period beginning today, to turn them in with no penalty. After those seven days, the possession and trafficking of a sécor will be punishable by up to 50 years in prison.”</p><p>Matt’s eyes filled with optimistic tears as he listened. Mitch curled into him, watching hopefully as well.</p><p>“For the loved ones of sécors who were taken, we will be setting up a website. A directory of sécors who are turned in is now live and the web address is listed below. It will include all sécors, alive or dead. Those who were in possession of a sécor who is now deceased will be required to provide proof of death, such as a death certificate or remains. Those whose records indicate the buying of a sécor for whom they are unable to turn in or provide this proof will be punished to the fullest extent of the law. If you attempt to smuggle a sécor across country borders, I assure you, you will be found.”</p><p>Matt didn’t hear the rest of it. Thoughts of what would happen if Scott’s name showed up on the ‘deceased’ list swarmed his brain.</p><p>They waited, staring at the website, refreshing the page and holding their breaths.</p><p>They waited for days.</p><p>A DM notification flashed across the top of the screen, four days later.</p><p>“Guys…” Kevin started, sitting at the edge of his seat. “Chris.”</p><p>Kevin frantically typed in the number from the direct message, and pressed “video call.”</p><p>Beautiful, vibrant blue eyes met his and he cried. They weren’t happy tears. There was no sense of relief here. No, Kevin was heartbroken that they weren’t the eyes he needed to see so desperately.</p><p>“Hi…” Chris started.</p><p>“Chris, hey,” Mitch said, taking the computer from Kevin, to give him a minute to compose himself. “You look… okay.”</p><p>“Gee, thanks,” the Australian accent said, low and edging on joking.</p><p>“I mean… you don’t look broken…”</p><p>“No… I’m not. I lucked out, I suppose. I started to break, but they fixed me just in time.”</p><p>There was silence.</p><p>“Any news on any of them?” Matt asked, creeping into the shot. Chris nodded.</p><p>“Niall’s with me. Sleeping. Jesse is at home with his family. He’s… broken, but he’s hanging in. Bobby… Bobby didn’t make it.”</p><p>Kevin cried harder, feeling an overwhelming surge of guilt in his gut.</p><p>He should have had the place raided when he had the chance.</p><p>“Anything on Scott?” Chris asked, his voice breaking with the use of the name.</p><p>Mitch shook his head.</p><p>“We’ll find him. Whoever has him probably just doesn’t want to give him up…” Chris said, rubbing his eyes.</p><p>“Unless he’s dead,” Matt said, monotonously.</p><p>Mitch expected Chris to start yelling, but he simply shook his head.</p><p>“No… I don’t think so. They would have provided proof of that by now.”</p><p>They all felt a small jolt of hope in their chests.</p><p> </p><p>“Dad, you have to turn him in. Or kill him, or something!”</p><p>“No. He’s mine. Rightfully so. You understand? Mine.”</p><p>“Dad, we can all go to <em>prison.”</em></p><p>“He’s <em>mine</em>.”</p><p>Scott could hear them arguing, and the door slam shut. Then, he felt someone climb on top of him.</p><p>“You’re mine.”</p><p>The mattress creaked as his master fucked him, rapidly and relentlessly. He felt the strong hand wrap around his throat, but he couldn’t make himself care the way he used to.</p><p>
  <b>
    <strong>Scott’s Count: 682.</strong>
  </b>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0037"><h2>37. Age Twenty-Three, Part I</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Eek. This story just keeps on going. I'm not sure how I'm ever gonna end it. We're more than 50 chapters deep, on the writing end of things.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Scott could hear a bunch of movement around him. Chatter, hushed and chaotic, and shuffling.</p><p>“Sir? Can you hear me? Sir?” A woman’s voice. It had been so long since he had heard a woman’s voice, maybe he was hallucinating.</p><p>Scott tried to reply, but he couldn’t move his mouth.</p><p>“Sir, I’m going to dress you, okay?”</p><p>He felt cotton envelop his legs. He was rolled from side to side, and he heard a zipper as his torso was embraced with the same soft material.</p><p>“Don’t let him go into withdrawal. I can imagine he’s about to break,” A deep voice said.</p><p>“You’re safe now, sweetheart.”</p><p> </p><p>Mitch was on the front step, clutching his phone to his ear, tucked into a ball, when the other four approached with groceries in their hands. He was crying silently, and muttering into the phone.</p><p>Kirstie ran to his side, embracing him and rocking him back and forth.</p><p>“Thank you, I will. Good-bye.” Mitch muttered, hanging up and taking a deep breath.</p><p>“That… that was Rick.” He watched as four pairs of eyes welled with tears and fear crossed their facial features. “They found him.”</p><p> </p><p>They rushed down the terminal towards baggage claim, their breaths shallow as they struggled to keep up with Matt, who was in a full-out sprint, one day later.</p><p>They only stopped to catch their breaths once they were in the cab, on their way to the Hoying household.</p><p>They knew nothing about Scott’s condition, other than that the Hoyings had hired their own nurses and that Rick had decided not to involve hospitals, vowing to take care of his son himself.</p><p>The fact that hospitals were even being tossed around as an option made them all nervous.</p><p> </p><p>A pretty blonde nurse opened the door as they pounded on it.</p><p>“Hi there. You’re Scott’s friends?” Her voice was soft and sweet. The five of them nodded, not trusting their voices. “Come on in.” She gestured to the couches in the living room, and Mitch emitted a miserable whine, frustrated that they had to wait another moment to see him.</p><p>He flopped down next to Matt just as Rick entered the room, looking more exhausted than any of them could even imagine. He hugged each of them, and they noted that he smelled. He smelled like sweat, like sickness… like death.</p><p>He sat down in a chair and gestured for the rest of them to do the same. He looked at his hands as he began to speak.</p><p>“They found him in Florida. The man who bought him… his son… his son called it in, afraid that he would be penalized with his father if he didn’t.” Rick fiddled with his wedding ring, staring at it.</p><p>They tried their very best not to bombard him with questions, sensing that the man was teetering on the edge of a nervous breakdown as it was. They held their breaths as they listened.</p><p>“They raided the home. Found Scott in the b… in the basement. There were chains… other… things… that had been used on him… but he was in the center of the room, on a bed… unresponsive.” Rick’s eyes filled with tears. “They were relieved to find that he wasn’t broken.” Kevin sobbed at the news. That had been all he was thinking. “But… God…” Rick clenched his eyes shut. “He was… drugged. Heroin. A lot of it. Prolonged use, to keep him from breaking. It was always a rumor that heroin could prevent the process from starting, and I guess this… man… caught wind of that. The man’s son assumed that Scott’s count is currently somewhere around 700.”</p><p>Matt looked around the room. Everyone was frozen in shock.</p><p>“We have to keep him on an… abnormally high dosage… to prevent him from breaking. Once he begins withdrawal, the process will be quick.”</p><p>They all turned to look at Mitch.</p><p>“Tell me what to do.”</p><p>“Can we see him? Before…?” Matt asked, suddenly.</p><p>Rick rubbed his eyes again. “Of course. But I need to warn you… he won’t be responsive.”</p><p>Kirstie let out a high-pitched whimper as soon as they entered the room, rushing to the blond’s side and gripping his hand with both of hers.</p><p>Kevin turned to run out the door, overwhelmed with dizziness, but he was stopped by Matt. “It’s okay. We’re here together. We have to let him know we’re here.” Matt whispered, rubbing his friend’s shoulders, soothingly.</p><p>They approached Scott’s bed, and Matt took in the sight.</p><p>Scott was so pale, he could swear his skin was translucent. His lips were dry and tinged blue. The blanket was pulled halfway up his bare chest, and his collarbones stuck out painfully. His cheekbones looked as though they could cut glass with how sharp they were, and his face was hollow. Dark circles under his eyes reached halfway down his cheeks. His brow was furrowed, as though he was in pain, even in his sleep. A red, aggravated ring surrounded his throat where his collar had been.</p><p>Somehow, he was still breathtaking.</p><p>“How am I supposed to… if he’s…” Mitch’s voice was soft and wet with tears.</p><p>“He’ll be awake for you… he has to be… it will have worn off by the time… We’re going to stop dosing him…” Rick couldn’t form a complete sentence, but Mitch understood.</p><p>“He’ll be in pain at that point? From the withdrawal? It’s going to be excruciating.” Kevin said, his voice cracking, trying not to think about it.</p><p>“It’s going to be a rough week.” Rick replied, his voice soft and distant.</p><p> </p><p>“You sure you’re gonna be okay?” Kevin asked, the following morning. Mitch nodded, stiffly, wrapping his arms around himself.</p><p>“Ben’s our backup. If, God forbid, something goes wrong… hope isn’t lost. Okay?” Mitch nodded again.</p><p>“What if he doesn’t consent?” Mitch asked after a few moments.</p><p>Kevin’s eyes widened at the smaller man. “That’s what you’re worried about?”</p><p>“What if his body won’t let him? What if I break him?”</p><p>“You won’t. You can’t. You love him too much.”</p><p>Rick emerged down the stairs a few hours later. “He’s awake… in withdrawal. He’s… breaking.”</p><p>Mitch looked at Scott’s father and nodded, standing silently, and following him up the stairs.</p><p>Matt watched them leave with dread in his stomach. He wanted to scream. The pain of his heartbreak was becoming excruciating. His chest felt like it was constricting. He wanted to shatter his ribcage with a hammer to free his lungs.</p><p> </p><p>Mitch entered the room as quietly as possible, assuming that Scott’s head probably wasn’t feeling too well. He gazed at Scott, who looked slightly better than he had seen him the day before. His lips were no longer blue, and they weren’t so dry they were splitting anymore.</p><p>He still looked small and he still appeared to be in pain, and Mitch wanted to cuddle it all away.</p><p>Rick nodded, and left the room silently. Mitch crossed the floor and sat at the edge of the blond’s bed, running his fingers through the silver streak in Scott’s hair. The streak was wider than last time, a signal that he was breaking more quickly due to his count.</p><p>“Hi, Mitchy,” Scott’s voice sounded strained. Mitch reached for a cup of water on the nightstand, but Scott shook his head. “I’m okay.”</p><p>Mitch positioned himself next to Scott, but remained on top of the covers as he placed his head on the blond’s shoulder, laying his arm lightly over his stomach over the blanket as well.</p><p>“Can I fix you?” Mitch asked, unsure if he could say anything else without breaking down.</p><p>He felt Scott’s head move, and raised his head to look into Scott’s blue eyes. They were dimmed, losing their hue much more quickly than last time as well.</p><p>In fact, the streak of silver hair seemed to be spreading quickly, too.</p><p>“Words?” Mitch asked, his voice cracking.</p><p>“Yes, Mitchy,” Scott replied, his voice wavering, too.</p><p>Mitch crawled under the covers, noting that Scott was still fully clothed from the waist down. Mitch’s heart started to pound. He wanted to take this slowly, to make sure he was doing it right, but it became more and more clear that it was a race against the clock to fix his best friend.</p><p>Scott’s stomach was sunken in, slightly, the most malnourished that a sécor could appear, Mitch assumed. He was still covered in a beautiful layer of muscle, but his hipbones protruded, and Mitch traced his ribcage with his fingers, eliciting a shiver from the blond. He looked delicate.</p><p>Mitch pulled his own shirt and pants off, and placed his fingers in Scott’s waistband. “Going to take these off. ‘Kay?”</p><p>“Okay.”</p><p>Mitch was taking Scott’s boxers off, averting his gaze from the naked body below him, when he heard a pained whimper from the blond.</p><p>“What? What’s wrong?”</p><p>“Hurts.” Scott replied, his eyes clenched shut. “My… head. I’m okay. It’ll pass.”</p><p>The silver streak had expanded again. How was this happening so fast?</p><p>Mitch climbed over him and placed a kiss on his friend’s cheek before reaching for some lube on the nightstand.</p><p>“Tell me if this is too much, okay?”</p><p>“Okay.”</p><p>Admittedly, Mitch had had a few dreams in which he and Scott were in a similar situation to this. There were several distinct differences, however. First, Scott wasn’t breaking. Second, Scott wasn’t in heroin withdrawal. And third, Mitch certainly wasn’t on top.</p><p>Mitch reached for the blond’s leg, pulling it upwards towards his chest, Scott groaned, a sign that his muscles were being affected by the withdrawal already.</p><p>“Sorry, babe. Sorry. I’m sorry I have to rush. You okay?”</p><p>Scott nodded. “Go ahead.”</p><p>Mitch watched Scott’s eyes as he slid his index finger into him. They hardly reacted at all. He added a second. Scott felt too tight for him not to be reacting.</p><p>“Okay?”</p><p>“Okay.”</p><p>He added a third, and spread them. He felt himself growing hard at the thought of being surrounded by Scott’s tightness soon. It was then that he realized the most important part of this. He had to get Scott hard.</p><p>Mitch stroked upwards within Scott, until he hit it.</p><p>Scott moaned, almost inaudibly, and Mitch mentally rejoiced, happy that the blond was feeling something.</p><p>Mitch stroked the same area again and again, and Scott reacted the same way, reaching up to clutch Mitch’s sides.</p><p>“Feel good?” Mitch asked, softly.</p><p>“Feels good, Mitchy.”</p><p>Mitch watched as Scott’s length slowly hardened. Mitch desperately wanted to wrap his mouth around it, to taste him. He was deliciously long and thick, just as Mitch had pictured.</p><p>But for now, he had some other things to attend to.</p><p>Mitch stroked his own hardened cock and slicked it up before positioning himself over Scott’s longer body. He entered him slowly, and forgot how to breathe.</p><p>
  <em>Jesus Christ, he feels good.</em>
</p><p>Mitch felt guilty for that thought, and panicked for a moment, thinking he may have been affected. But he realized quickly that he hadn’t, and he began to thrust.</p><p>Mitch reached up to stroke Scott’s cock as he thrusted, frantically, as he watched more of Scott’s hair turn silver.</p><p>“Look at me,” Mitch prompted, and Scott’s eyes met his.</p><p>They were nearly devoid of all color.</p><p>Mitch pumped into him quickly, changing his pace and angle, frantically. He stroked him hard and rough, and Scott began to make small noises.</p><p>Small, beautiful noises.</p><p>Mitch wanted a full-length studio album of those noises.</p><p>“Good, baby. So good,” Mitch grunted. Scott emitted a pained noise, and Mitch found himself desperately trying to make him make it again, wanting to hear his pretty voice.</p><p>“Mast-Mitch…” Scott whimpered gorgeously, and Mitch felt his body shudder beneath him. Scott panted as ribbons of white shot out of him, and landed on his abdomen and Mitch’s hand.</p><p>Mitch nearly cried at the sound of Scott’s slip-up. Had he heard correctly? Had Scott just nearly called him, “Master”?</p><p>Mitch leaned forward. “I’m right there with you, love. Just hang on for me.”</p><p>Mitch came with a groan a minute later, and collapsed on the blond’s thin frame immediately, unable to keep himself up anymore.</p><p>He thought of what the rest of the night would look like, if Mitch had been successful. Mitch was going to be adding to Scott’s pain.</p><p>Mitch didn’t want to cry, but he found himself shaking and sobbing in Scott’s arms.</p><p>He had never felt so selfish, falling apart in the arms of someone who was near death.</p><p>It was disgusting, Mitch thought. He was so very disgusted with himself and how much he enjoyed that.</p>
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<a name="section0038"><h2>38. Chapter 38: Age Twenty-Three, Part II</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Happy Sunday, dears!  I have literally nothing to say today. Enjoy!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Leave me alone. Please,” Mitch muttered, curling himself into a ball on the couch, later that night.</p><p>They were stuck in the living room as Rick and Connie tended to Scott. They waited on bated breath for signs of Mitch’s success… or failure.</p><p>“Mitch… did something happen? Did something go wrong? Talk to us… why are you so upset?” Kirstie asked, worried more for Scott than for Mitch.</p><p>A long, pained yell echoed through the house, as though someone was being tortured. They were on their feet in seconds and bounded up the stairs.</p><p>Connie was shutting the bedroom door, sobbing silently, when they arrived.</p><p>“Is it… is he being fixed, or was that the withdrawal?” Matt asked, desperately.</p><p>“Rick doesn’t know,” Connie whispered, covering her mouth with her hand, and Kevin wrapped his arms around her. He was unable to fathom how hard this must be for her.</p><p>A nurse emerged a few minutes later. “He’s having some seizures. We’re going to need this area clear in case we need to transport him to a hospital.” She said softly.</p><p>“I thought Rick didn’t want him in the hospital,” Kevin replied.</p><p>“We might not have a choice, if these keep up. We don’t want any permanent brain damage.”</p><p> </p><p>They fell asleep sprawled across each other on the living room couches. They awoke to the sound of a hushed conversation. Kevin opened his eyes to find Rick and Connie hugging one another.</p><p>“Everything alright?” Kevin asked, rubbing his eyes as his friends began to stir.</p><p>Rick smiled. It was small, but genuine. “It worked. Mitch, it worked.”</p><p>Mitch began to sob. He couldn’t help it, as he struggled to breathe. He had convinced himself that he had ruined everything. To hear that he hadn’t, he allowed all of the fears to leave his body through those tears.</p><p>Kevin wrapped him in a tight hug where he collapsed on the floor. “I knew you could do it. I knew it.”</p><p>“We aren’t out of the woods yet. Scott’s withdrawal is some of the worst I’ve ever seen, and it’s still early in the process.” Rick nearly whispered.</p><p>“Can we sit with him?” Ben asked.</p><p>Rick mulled it over. “Not all at once. Maybe you can take shifts?”</p><p>“Mitchy, you wanna go first? It’s well deserved.” Kevin posed, rubbing his friend’s back.</p><p>“No, thank you,” Mitch whimpered. The other four froze.</p><p>“Oh. Okay… Matt?” Kevin asked, looking at his other friend with pleading eyes. Matt nodded, eyeing Mitch warily, and followed Rick up the stairs, worried about what he would find.</p><p> </p><p>He let out a breath that he hadn’t realized he was holding when he laid eyes on the sécor. He would never take seeing Scott’s blond hair and vibrant blue eyes for granted again. Matt sat on the edge of his bed, and took Scott’s trembling hand in both of his own.</p><p>Scott was covered in a sheen of sweat, that disappeared into the damp collar of his t-shirt. He looked like every breath was painful. But he smiled softly at Matt in greeting. Matt assumed that it hurt to speak, so he didn’t want to push it.</p><p>Scott looked calm.</p><p>But he also looked like he was dying, and Matt had to close his eyes and convince himself that this wasn’t the case.</p><p>He wouldn’t let him die.</p><p>Scott’s back arched and he groaned, snapping his eyes shut.</p><p>“What? What is it?” Matt asked, desperately, placing a hand on Scott’s chest in an effort to keep him still. He could feel Scott’s sternum sharply against his hand and tried not to think about how thin he must be under this shirt. “What hurts, Scotty?”</p><p>Scott panted for a minute, and Matt felt his body calm beneath his hand. “Everything,” Scott admitted, blinking his eyes open.</p><p>Matt ran his thumb along Scott’s cheekbone, noting again how prominent it had become. <em>Modelesque</em>, Matt reasoned, admiring his beautiful friend for a moment.</p><p>“Don’t cry,” Scott mumbled, and it was only then that Matt realized that tears were falling.</p><p>“Can’t help it.” Matt replied, rubbing his face with the sleeve of his shirt. “Missed you.”</p><p>“I missed you too, Matty. So much.”</p><p>A knock on the door an hour later startled Matt, who had been staring at Scott as he fitfully slept.</p><p>“Hey… can I come in?” Kevin asked, pushing the door open. Matt smiled softly and nodded.</p><p>“How’s he doing?” Kevin asked. Matt looked at the sleeping form for a bit, before answering.</p><p>“He’s in pain. Lots of it. Is there anything that they can do?”</p><p>Kevin shook his head, slowly. “Unfortunately, no. We just have to get him through it.”</p><p>“Is it time for your turn?” Matt asked. Kevin’s eyes snapped up, looking horrified.</p><p>“My what?” His voice was low and threatening.</p><p>Matt’s eyes widened at his realization of his mistake, thinking back to how many people had referred to attacking sécors as taking their turn. “Your <em>shift. </em>Is it time for your shift? Kev… really?”</p><p>Kevin’s eyes softened. “Sorry… I’m in hyper-protective mode, I guess. Yes, it’s my shift<em>.</em>”</p><p>“Is Mitch okay?”</p><p>Kevin didn’t answer.</p><p>“What do you think happened?”</p><p>“I have… no idea. He’s still looking like he’s on the edge of losing it. I mean, we can’t really blame him. Look at Scott. He’s like, a shell… an exoskeleton of himself… and Mitch had to… and who knows how painful it was for Scott… imagine watching Scott in that much pain and knowing that you’re part of the cause?”</p><p>Matt looked away from the sleeping form beside him, unable to begin to picture how hard that must have been for Mitch. The more he thought about it, the more unsure he was that he would have been able to do the same.</p><p>“Has he been asleep this whole time?”</p><p>“No… he was awake for a little bit… he was hurting.”</p><p>Kevin nodded, and Matt clapped him on the shoulder as he sat in the seat that Matt had just abandoned.</p><p>Scott shivered himself awake a few minutes later.</p><p>Kevin pulled the covers up tightly around the blond’s collar, tucking him in more effectively.</p><p>“No… no.” Scott protested, meekly. Kevin froze, and loosened the covers.</p><p>“Hot.” Scott complained, softly. “I’m so hot.”</p><p>“Sorry, love. I thought you were cold. Here.” He pulled the blanket down to Scott’s waist, furrowing his eyebrows as he exposed Scott’s soaked t-shirt as it clung to his frail frame. “Scotty… let’s take your temperature.”</p><p>“102.” Kevin mumbled as he removed the thermometer from Scott’s mouth.</p><p>“That’s hot,” Scott replied, monotonously.</p><p>“Yes, Scott, that’s hot,” Kevin replied, unable to hide his nervousness. “Want a new shirt?”</p><p>Scott shrugged, but grimaced at the movement. “No, thank you. Just gonna soak the new one, anyway.”</p><p>Kevin shook his head and made his way to the dresser. “That’s okay. We’ll keep changing you.” He returned with a dry muscle shirt a few moments later. “You’ll be thankful for a dry shirt when your chills come back. Can you sit up at all?”</p><p>Scott groaned as he pushed himself upwards. Kevin assisted as much as possible, but he was admittedly afraid of gripping Scott too tightly, as though he was made of glass and his bones would break under any pressure.</p><p>Kevin reached for the hem of his shirt and pulled gently, and Scott whimpered as he raised his arms to free them from the sleeves, his chest heaving, and relying far too much on Kevin’s arm that was wrapped around his middle, holding him upright. Kevin made a mental note that they should avoid t-shirts moving forward, and instead stick with looser options.</p><p>Kevin found himself staring down at the blond after the shirt had been discarded. Scott looked so… different. Kevin was surprised that he didn’t look sicklier than he did, though. Somehow, his thinness looked intentionally beautiful.</p><p>It was pretty, the way that his collarbones jutted out, and the way his oblique muscles highlighted his hipbones, perfect to grip onto if he needed more leverage. It was pretty, the way that his abdominal muscles were spread taught, and Kevin licked his lips at the thought of running his tongue along the crevices there. It was pretty, as Kevin thought of how easy he would be to handle. How he had effortlessly wrapped one arm around Scott’s waist, which would come in handy to hold him in place as he thrusted upwards into him. How he could throw his weightless body around like a ragdoll if he needed to…</p><p>“It’s okay, Kev. Look away,” Scott’s soft voice whispered.</p><p>Kevin realized that his hands were tracing the exact places on Scott’s body that he was thinking of. His hands stilled on the skin of Scott’s abdomen, and he looked into suddenly fearful blue eyes. He stood abruptly, and nearly threw the shirt at Scott before sprinting out of the room, stopping to catch his breath only once the door was shut.</p><p>“You alright?” Rick asked as he emerged from his own bedroom, eyeing Kevin suspiciously.</p><p>“A-a-“ Kevin gasped, placing his hands on his knees to ground himself. He shouldn’t have been surprised. Pheromones were likely running extremely high right now. And yet, he hated himself all the same.</p><p>Dr. Hoying seemed to understand without a further attempt at forming the word “affected”, and he entered Scott’s room without further questioning, leaving Kevin standing helplessly in the hall.</p><p>“I’m sorry,” Kevin whispered, knowing that Scott’s father couldn’t have possibly heard.</p><p> </p><p>Kirstie entered the room next, after Rick had come down and told Kevin that everything was okay.</p><p>“Can I…” Kirstie asked, not even bothering to greet the sickly blond as she approached his bedside. “Can I lay with you?”</p><p>Scott eyed her, softly. “I don’t think you want to do that.”</p><p>Kirstie looked at him, confusion etched on her face.</p><p>“I’m so sweaty, so gross.” Scott mumbled. She smiled at him, understandingly.</p><p>“I couldn’t care any less about that, Scooter.”</p><p>He hesitated, but patted the spot on the double bed next to him, and she crawled on, tucking herself under the covers. She scooted closer to him, noting the radiating heat that was coming off of his body. She rested her head on his chest, and wrapped her arm over his stomach. “You let me know if my body heat is too much, okay?” She asked. He ran a hand through her hair, and she also took note of how his hand was trembling.</p><p>“Feels nice. You always feel nice,” Scott mumbled. Kirstie smiled, hugging the slightly bony frame closer. They lay like that for quite some time, and she traced shapes on his chest with the light touch of her index finger, enjoying the calming sound of his heartbeat and ignoring his body tremors every few minutes.</p><p>Suddenly, though, his trembling became something more.</p><p>“Help!” Kirstie yelled out, pulling away from the sécor and reaching out a hand to steady him on the bed as he convulsed, his eyes rolled in the back of his head. The door opened and a nurse entered the room.</p><p>“I need you to move away, sweetheart. Okay?”</p><p>Rick and Ben burst through the door next, as Kirstie climbed off of the bed, rushing into her boyfriend’s arms.</p><p>“It’s okay. You did a good job, love. It’s okay. He’s alright,” Ben whispered, rubbing her back as she cried into his chest. He looked over at Rick, who was at his son’s side.</p><p>“Are all of these seizures normal?” Ben asked, his voice shaky.</p><p>“…Not terribly… no.” Rick mumbled, and Ben’s heart broke as he watched the convulsions wrack his friend’s body.</p><p> </p><p>“Your shift, Mitchy,” Matt offered, sitting on the back deck next to his friend, who was still folding in on himself, two days later.</p><p>Mitch still hadn’t returned to Scott’s bedside, despite a rotation in which the rest of them had already spent several hours with the blond.</p><p>And yet, Mitch waited here, quietly, refusing to return home, which was less than a mile away.</p><p>“No, thank you. You can skip me again,” Mitch whispered, focused on a spot far off in the distance.</p><p>“Talk to me, then,” Matt replied, his tone a mixture of strictness and understanding.</p><p>Mitch shook his head, sadly. “I don’t know where to start.”</p><p>“How about you start with what’s wrong?”</p><p>“That’s the problem, Matt. So much is wrong, I don’t know where to begin.”</p><p>They sat in silence for a few minutes.</p><p>“Did you know that I love him?” Matt asked, breaking the silence.</p><p>“…I’m sorry?” Mitch’s voice was squeaky with his question.</p><p>Matt laughed, nervously. “I love him.”</p><p>“We all do.”</p><p>“Not the way that I do.”</p><p>Mitch fell into a silent stare straight ahead, again.</p><p>“Since when?” Mitch asked, a few minutes later.</p><p>“Since forever, pretty much.” Matt answered.</p><p>“Does he know?”</p><p>“Yeah, he knows.”</p><p>“That must… that must be hard.”</p><p>“Very.”</p><p>More silence.</p><p>“…I know.”</p><p>Matt’s head snapped up. “You know what?”</p><p>“I know that it’s hard,” Mitch whispered, his eyes filling with tears again.</p><p>“You do?”</p><p>Mitch nodded. “It’s so hard to love him like that. I wish I could stop…”</p><p>Matt had always suspected, but to hear the admission made his heart break for the man who was sharing his pain.</p><p>“Me too, Mitchy… but hey, you saved his life. That’s pretty amazing.”</p><p>A shiver wracked Mitch’s body and Matt reached out a hand to steady him on the small of his back.</p><p>“It was awful.”</p><p>Matt waited for more information, quietly and patiently.</p><p>“He was… I hate myself, Matt. I hate that I did that.”</p><p>“Hate that you did what?” Matt asked, trying not to scare Mitch away from expressing what was wrong.</p><p>“He wasn’t… he can’t have been… ready for that…” Mitch hiccuped, and Matt clutched him tighter.</p><p>“You didn’t have a choice, Mitch.”</p><p>“But I… I <em>enjoyed</em> it.” Mitch’s tone was full of disgust. Matt felt a pang of anger in his chest as Mitch spoke again. “He felt better than I had imagined. I… I was rougher than I should have been, and I wasn’t even affected… I don’t know what came over me… I just wanted him… he looked… so beautiful…”</p><p>“I’m sure you weren’t too rough,” Matt interrupted, wanting this conversation to be over before his own anger bubbled over.</p><p>“I must have confused him… He… he called me ‘Master’.”</p><p>The dam of his anger broke, and Matt stood abruptly, startling the shorter man.</p><p>“You… he <em>what?”</em></p><p>Mitch nodded, silently, looking at his feet. Matt slammed the door without another word.</p><p> </p>
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<a name="section0039"><h2>39. Age Twenty-Three, Part III</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Oh, you know. More sadness. Frustration. The good stuff.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Matt couldn’t look at Mitch anymore, in the days following their conversation.</p><p>He also couldn’t bring himself to tell Kevin why that was, despite his asking every few hours.</p><p>It was Day 6, and Scott’s withdrawal had taken its toll on each and every one of them.</p><p>Matt had been affected on three occasions, stopping himself just before it was too late each time.</p><p>Kevin had been affected four times, and hated himself more after each close call.</p><p>Even Ben had been affected twice, and they thanked the heavens that he hadn’t been the first choice to fix Scott.</p><p>Mitch hadn’t laid eyes on Scott since he had fixed him. Scott didn’t ask for him. The whole situation was questionable.</p><p>Kirstie cried at the drop of a hat. Just the day before, she had cried when she accidentally ate the last garlic knot that was meant for Mitch.</p><p>She was inconsolable over that.</p><p>And Matt angrily thought about how Mitch didn’t deserve a garlic knot, anyway.</p><p>And he realized he was losing his mind, just like the rest of them, for fuming over a spiteful garlic knot.</p><p>They were falling apart at the seams.</p><p>Scott wasn’t doing well, either. His chills were violent. He had spent three straight days vomiting, even though, after a certain point, it was unclear where it even came from. The noises he would make in his sleep made their hearts clench painfully, wishing that they could take some of the pain for him. He hardly moved, and when he did so, his eyes were filled with tears of agony as his muscles protested the movement. He cried in his sleep as well, repeating variants of “please,” and “Master”.</p><p>Then there were the seizures. Rick refused to discuss them, which filled his friends with an incessant dread. Scott was having them several times per day, and his father looked like he might collapse from a heart attack each and every time.</p><p>While the nausea and chills had decreased, the seizures remained.</p><p>It didn’t take a pre-med degree to know that this wasn’t a good sign, Kevin thought.</p><p> </p><p>Matt crawled into Scott’s bed, happy to feel the dry cotton of his shirt against his skin that signaled that his fever had broken. He opened his arms and Scott leaned into him, grimacing at the movement. He rubbed his back soothingly as his muscles adjusted, and listened for the evening out of the blond’s breathing.</p><p>“Did Mitch go home?” Scott asked tentatively from his place in Matt’s arms. Matt stilled.</p><p>“No. He’s downstairs.”</p><p>“He doesn’t want to see me anymore, does he.” It was a statement more than a question, and Matt’s heartbeat quickened.</p><p>“Mitch always wants to see you, silly,” Matt’s serious tone betrayed him as he attempted to comfort the sécor.</p><p>“He didn’t… he didn’t want…” Scott muttered in a near-whisper. Matt clutched him a bit tighter. “He didn’t want to… be with me? To fix me?” Scott asked, finally.</p><p>“Scott, that’s not it at all. I promise you that.”</p><p>“Then why won’t he look at me? I was vile, wasn’t I…? I’m sure it’s because I’ve been… My master destroyed me, didn’t he…”</p><p>Matt could hear the sobs threatening the back of Scott’s throat as he spoke, and held onto him tighter, once again. He didn’t know what he hated most; that Scott was still calling someone “my master,” or that someone had done something so bad to him that he felt irreparable.</p><p>“Don’t you dare say that. Don’t you dare,” Matt scolded, softly.</p><p>“I’m so filthy,” Scott whispered, and Matt could feel a small wet spot forming on his shirt where the sécor lay his head as his tears collected there.</p><p>“You’re perfect,” Matt rasped, trying to keep it together. “You have no idea how perfect you are.”</p><p>Anger towards Mitch was reignited within him as he rubbed Scott’s biceps, cursing Mitch’s selfishness in the dark.</p><p>He wished he could have fixed him, himself. He would have done better. He would have taken such good care of him.</p><p>“I’m so filthy, my brain isn’t even working right, anymore,” Scott croaked, the bitterness in his voice was palatable.</p><p>Matt knew he was talking about the seizures. He hadn’t even thought about how scary this was for the sécor. He had been too worried about how it was affecting the rest of them, how worried they were.</p><p>“Scotty, stop that.”</p><p>“You have no idea… what he did… what they did…” Scott’s breathing was shallow and erratic, and Matt wrapped his arms more tightly around him, nonverbally begging him to breathe. “You wouldn’t be touching me if you knew what they did…”</p><p>Matt’s eyes erupted with tears at the word, “they”. He had assumed as much, with Scott’s count being so high, but to hear the word come out of Scott’s mouth was too much to bear.</p><p>“Nothing in this world could stop me from wanting to hold you. I’ve always loved it when you let me hold you. And I always will. Okay?” Matt waited for some sort of response, but received nothing except for more shallow breathing. “Okay?”</p><p>“…Okay, Matty.” His voice was distant, and Matt knew that he was appeasing him with his reply. Matt held him tighter and kissed the top of his head, chastely.</p><p>“Did he… did he tell you why?” Scott asked after a few moments.</p><p>“Why, what?” Matt asked, sick of talking about his selfish friend.</p><p>“Why he won’t see me? What I did wrong?” Scott sounded so vulnerable, it was terrifying. Matt could stop this now. He could tell Scott about Mitch’s confession. Would that ease his mind, or would it scare him further?</p><p>“No… no, he didn’t.”</p><p>Scott flinched in his sleep fifteen minutes later, having dozed quickly after their conversation. Matt relished in the fact that he had this man in his arms, and had remained as still as possible to prolong the feeling. Scott was laid out on his back across the top of Matt, and Matt’s arms were wrapped around him, keeping him safe in his sleep. His brow furrowed as Scott groaned, blinking awake and clutching his side as he shifted in Matt’s hold.</p><p>“What’s wrong?” Matt asked, placing his hand on Scott’s where it clutched his waist.</p><p>“So damn sore. Everything. I tweaked it and now it’s screaming at me.” Scott replied, sounding slightly more like himself. Matt nudged his hand beneath Scott’s fingers and kneaded the muscle there, gently over the fabric of his shirt.</p><p>Scott hissed. Matt removed his hand as though he had been burned.</p><p>“Sorry… no, it’s okay.” Scott muttered with his eyes clenched shut.</p><p>“Doesn’t look okay.” Matt challenged, softly, but returned his hand to the sore spot, rubbing soothingly and applying a little bit of pressure with his thumb.</p><p>Matt could feel Scott’s body become less tense in his arms, so he continued. He could feel the knot in the area loosen, and Scott sighed. Matt took the opportunity to move along his waistline to relieve some more of the pain.</p><p>Matt lifted Scott’s shirt slightly, and snaked his hand beneath it so he could feel each muscle more easily. He felt Scott’s breath against his neck even out as he became more relaxed, as Matt’s hand moved across the smooth skin of his stomach.</p><p>Scott flinched as Matt’s thumb pressed into his lowest abdominal muscle, just above his waistband.</p><p>“Sorry… sorry.” Matt whispered, but didn’t pull away. He kneaded it gently as he had done with the other sensitive area, and waited for Scott to relax against him again.</p><p>Scott moaned, quietly. Maybe it was a groan, maybe he had hurt him… maybe it was a protest.</p><p>But Matt’s lower region definitely understood it to be a moan. He thought he would care that Scott might be able to feel him becoming hard against his back, but he didn’t care, at all.</p><p>Matt looked down at his hand against Scott’s stomach, hovering just above the fabric of his sweatpants. He snaked his fingers just below it, rubbing the skin underneath it, back and forth.</p><p>He would love to trail a line of kisses there. He would love to kiss him <em>anywhere, </em>really.</p><p>“You smell so <em>good</em>,” Matt muttered against Scott’s ear.</p><p>“Th-thanks,” Scott’s voice was shaky as Matt’s hand sank lower within the fabric.</p><p>A sharp intake of breath was heard as his hand wrapped around Scott’s soft cock. Matt realized that he himself had made the noise, and began to tug at the thick flesh there, teasingly.</p><p>“Matty… you need to go…” Scott warned, softly, trying to pry Matt’s hand away from his length. Matt felt him try to lift himself away from the body that was wrapped around him, but Matt held on to him, tightly.</p><p>The way that Scott had shifted did, however, allow for Matt to place his hand underneath him.</p><p>“Matt… please…” Scott whispered, his voice frantic. Matt placed a hand over his mouth, enjoying the noises that were emitted against his hand as his other one found Scott’s entrance and he pushed in with one finger.</p><p>Matt nibbled on the blond’s ear and groaned at the feeling of warm tightness around his finger. He couldn’t take it anymore, and he flipped the sécor onto his back, hovering over him before plunging two fingers into him.</p><p>Scott was becoming too noisy for Matt’s liking, so he grabbed a pillow and held it over his pretty face as he pulled his pants down with his other hand.</p><p>Matt was painfully hard and needed to release. But he really wanted to see those eyes as he fucked him for the first time.</p><p><em>Fuck it, </em>Matt thought, and removed the pillow. Scott gasped for air and Matt placed a third finger inside.</p><p>“Matty… it’s me. Look away, please… Please? You’ll never forgive yourself, doing it this way…”</p><p>Matt looked at him, confused, and Scott’s eyes were hopeful, but the fingers within him spread out and he groaned at the stretch, his back arching, gorgeously.</p><p>“Matty… listen. You don’t want this. You can… you can make love to me, okay? I’ll be all yours. All night. Just not now, not like this. Please…”</p><p>Matt’s eyes focused on the blond below him, slowly, like he was looking at him underwater.</p><p>He almost didn’t recognize him.</p><p>He registered where they were, first.</p><p>
  <em>Scott’s childhood bedroom. In his bed, looking into his pretty eyes.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He looks like he’s crying. What happened? Who hurt him?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>His shirt is hiked up to his armpits… that can’t be comfortable. Let me help.</em>
</p><p><em>“You can make love to me, okay? I’ll be all yours. All Night.” </em>Matt’s chest felt warm at the thought of a whole night with this man. <em>“Just not now, not like this. Please…”</em></p><p>
  <em>Why are… my…</em>
</p><p>Matt withdrew his fingers with a cry, and pulled up Scott’s pants, frantically.</p><p>“No, no, no…” Matt muttered, backing away and clawing at his own hair.</p><p>Scott sat up, slowly, flinching as he did so. His face was pale, and his lip quivered.</p><p>“It’s okay, Matt… it’s okay…”</p><p>‘Why didn’t you scream?” Matt’s voice was hysterical, but then he remembered the pillow.</p><p>“Fuck. Fuck, fuck, <em>FUCK,” </em>Matt yelled, falling to the floor.</p><p>Matt felt the presence of Scott hovering over him, before he could even register the fact that the man was out of bed.</p><p>Scott embraced him as he lay in a heap on the floor.</p><p>Matt didn’t deserve this. Scott shouldn’t be anywhere near him.</p><p>“Don’t. Get off,” Matt cried. “Please… get off… don’t touch me.”</p><p>Scott pulled away, frowning. “I’m sorry.” Scott stumbled to the door and opened it. “Here. You can leave when… whenever you’re ready. Or… or stay. Th-, that’s okay, too…” Scott looked uncomfortable, but not nearly as scared as was warranted, as he tripped over his words. Matt watched through his tears as the blond slowly walked back to the bed and lowered himself in, hissing in pain, but clearly trying not to make noise.</p><p>Matt wanted to latch onto him, to hold him as tightly as possible, to continuously tell him that he deserved so much better. But Matt didn’t deserve to do those things ever again.</p><p>So, Matt left the room, closing the door behind him, without another word.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0040"><h2>40. Age Twenty-Three, Part IV</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I had forgotten how much I make them all suffer at Scott's house. Oh well!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Matt had refused to make eye contact with a single one of them when he returned to the living room. He had retrieved Rick to check on his son, explaining through his tears what had happened, wishing that the man would push him down the stairs in a protective rage and end the misery that he was feeling, once and for all.</p><p>So now, Kevin, Kirstie and Ben were trapped in a room with a silent and brooding Mitch <em>and </em>Matt. The tension was overwhelming.</p><p>Rick emerged an hour later, looking worse for wear, to say the least. He made eye contact with Matt, his eyes understanding and sad.</p><p>“Okay, I think it’s my shift…” Ben announced, standing up.</p><p>“Actually, guys… have a seat.” Rick replied. Matt’s pulse quickened. He wasn’t ready for his friends to know what he had done.</p><p>Ben sat back down, looking concerned.</p><p>“Scott asked to be left alone, for a while” Rick said. Matt watched as Kevin leaned forward, studying Dr. Hoying.</p><p>“Why?” Kevin asked.</p><p>“He’s just… tired. I think he needs some solid sleep. As comforting as you all are, I think it’ll be good for him to sleep alone, without disruption.” Rick sounded different. Matt mentally thanked him for coming up with an excuse for him, but he couldn’t help but wonder if Scott was afraid of him now.</p><p>“Why don’t you guys go out tonight? It could be fun. Arlington has a pretty good scene. Mitch can show you.” Rick offered, brightly. “You all deserve a bit of a break, and Scott really is okay, I promise.” Rick locked eyes with Matt, as if that last part was meant just for him.</p><p>“I don’t know…” Kirstie started, looking around. “I don’t know if it’s possible to have any fun right now…”</p><p>Ben placed a hand on her shoulder, squeezing the back of her neck, lightly. “Let’s try. It could be good for all of us.”</p><p>Matt approached Rick as the group left the room, and leaned in close. “Did… did what I did… count?” Rick’s eyes were distant as he mulled over the meaning of Matt’s question.</p><p>“Scott’s count is one.” Rick said, sadly, looking into the younger man’s eyes, delicately.</p><p>“No… but I… I didn’t… not with my…”</p><p>“I know, Matt. It’s okay,” Rick replied, not making eye contact.</p><p>How could he say it’s okay? Matt increased Scott’s count… he violated this man’s <em>son,</em> for crying out loud…</p><p>“He’s okay, Matt.”</p><p>“Why does he want to be alone, then?” Matt’s eyes narrowed.</p><p>“He feels bad for <em>you</em>. All of you.” Rick replied, his voice wavering. “Please, just let him have tonight. Okay?”</p><p>Matt stared at him for a moment, but nodded, feeling the guilt overtaking his gut again.</p><p> </p><p>They sat at a bar later that night, staring at each other in silence.</p><p>“This is fun.”</p><p>“The most fun.”</p><p>“Can we go now?”</p><p>“Hey, guys,” they heard from behind them.</p><p>“Alex, hey.” Kevin greeted, standing up. The rest followed suit and embraced the newcomer, and Ben reached out a hand to introduce himself.</p><p>“How is he?” Alex asked, his breath hitching. “I wanted to come and see him, but I think it’s best if I wait…”</p><p>“He’s getting better each day,” Kevin replied, optimistically.</p><p>They all fell into an increasingly comfortable conversational flow as the night wore on. They even found themselves laughing.</p><p>“Well, look who it is!” A voice boomed behind them again.</p><p>Matt laid eyes on the man first. He was large and bulky, like he had taken steroids as a kid and his body never recovered. His eyes were dark and… ugly.</p><p>“Hi, Jason.” Mitch replied, icily. “To what do we owe the displeasure?”</p><p>“Allie. Hey…” Jason replied, ignoring Mitch’s snark. He wobbled on his feet, and his beer sloshed out of its glass onto the floor, sloppily. “Heard you moved back. We should hang out some time. Pick up some ladies… or sécors. Whatever you’re into, these days.” Kevin watched as Matt gripped the table.” Where’s yours, anyway? What was his name again? The really fucking gorgeous one. Or, wait… did you break him? Did you fuck the life out of him? Shit, he’s dead, isn’t he,” Jason slurred, and cackled with laughter. “Nicely done.”</p><p>Jason was on his back in a split second, his beer forming a puddle next to him as it spilled from his broken glass. Kevin was shocked when he realized that Alex hadn’t been the reason.</p><p>“FUCK you… Don’t you fucking dare… Scott…” Mitch growled as tears stung his eyes, straddling the larger man and punching him in the jaw repeatedly. Ben stood, panicked, and pulled his friend off of his target. Some men rushed forwards, helping Jason to his feet.</p><p>Kevin, Matt, and Kirstie stood frozen in place as Mitch continued to try to launch himself at the drunken man, and Alex and Ben held him back.</p><p>“Let me make him pay… Let me… How <em>dare </em>you…” Mitch sobbed.</p><p>Alex clutched Mitch to his chest, rubbing his back and whispering in his ear, desperately. Ben could barely make out the words, but he picked up on a few. “He’s okay. Scotty’s okay. Jason can’t hurt him anymore.”</p><p>Ben latched onto that final word, <em>anymore, </em>and wanted to punch the man in the face all over again.</p><p> </p><p>They sat in the living room of Scott’s house that night, with Alex clutching Mitch against his body as he continued to cry.</p><p>“Who was that guy?” Ben whispered to Kirstie. She clenched her eyes shut and shook her head back and forth, looking suddenly nauseous.</p><p>“That was Jason. That… that was the first person to ever attack Scott… when he was only thirteen,” Alex whispered.</p><p>Matt emitted a guttural groan and left the room without another word.</p><p> </p><p>They were watching a movie the next morning, dozing in and out of consciousness, when Kevin felt the couch dip next to him.</p><p>“…Scott? What are you… we have to get you back to bed…” Kevin whispered, reaching his hands out to the blond.</p><p>Scott looked miserable. His clothes were dry, as they had been for a few days now, and his hair shined in a way that looked like he had just bathed, but the circles beneath his eyes looked painful to the touch. Kevin also wished he could force-feed him back to a normal weight, noting how his collarbones still poked out over the top of his loose muscle shirt.</p><p>“I need to get out of that room. My dad said it’s okay, to come hang out with you guys. If you don’t mind?” Scott asked, sounding small.</p><p>“Of course, we don’t mind,” Kevin said softly, moving to sit closer to his friend, but apparently Kirstie had overheard the conversation and was practically in Scott’s lap before Kevin could blink twice.</p><p>Scott laughed gently, and pulled his tiny friend closer, wrapping his arms around her and holding her to his chest as he focused on the movie.</p><p>“And… she’s out,” Scott whispered to Kevin. They laughed together, and Kevin was happy to hear the sound.</p><p>“Can I ask you something?” Scott asked softly a few minutes later. Kevin looked around. They were still the only two awake.</p><p>“Anything. Shoot.”</p><p>“Who’s that?” Scott asked, reaching out one of the hands that was curled around Kirstie to tap on Kevin’s phone. A photo of Kevin and Leigh lit up the dimly lit room. Kevin looked up and noted that Scott was smiling.</p><p>“That’s my girlfriend, Leigh.”</p><p>“She’s preeeetty,” Scott sang. Kevin was even happier to hear his sense of humor than he had been to hear his laugh. “Tell me about her.”</p><p>Kevin smiled at him, wanting desperately to help distract Scott from his current state of recovery. “She’s a year younger, in law school. Unnaturally smart. Incredibly sweet.”</p><p>Scott nodded. “That’s good. Two brilliant people should end up together. How’d you meet?”</p><p>“I met her when I was at work.”</p><p>Scott paused, looking at Kevin incredulously. “Work?”</p><p>Kevin sighed. “Yeah, Scott. We all work. We had to make a living, pay for that house, at least until you came back.”</p><p>“Kirstie said our video went viral though. Why didn’t you make more?”</p><p>Kevin wasn’t sure if he heard Scott correctly. Had he just asked why they hadn’t carried on without him?</p><p>“We were kind of missing the most important part,” Kevin said, slowly.</p><p>“Ben could have stepped in. He can carry a tune,” Scott pondered.</p><p>“To do this without you… that was never even a question. It wouldn’t have been right. It would have hurt too much.”</p><p>Scott looked at Kevin before giving in. “Okay… so what kind of job did you get?”</p><p>“Don’t laugh.”</p><p>Scott smiled. “No promises.”</p><p>Kevin found himself grinning at this banter that he had been missing from his friend.</p><p>“You know Woof ‘n Poof?”</p><p>“That… terrifying van that looks like a giant poodle?”</p><p>Kevin laughed loudly, and Kirstie groaned before falling silent again in her sleep.</p><p>“That’s the one. I’m his assistant. I, Kevin Olusola, am a mobile dog groomer’s assistant.”</p><p>“A natural progression from pre-med major,” Scott deadpanned.</p><p>“Shut up.”</p><p>They smiled at each other, not realizing that Mitch was stirring.</p><p>“What kind of jobs did the rest of them get?” Scott asked, cuddling Kirstie closer.</p><p>“Mitch is a barista, Matt got a secretarial job for a CPA, Kirstie signed with a modeling agency, and Ben is mooching off of his parents for as long as possible.”</p><p>Scott laughed. He almost looked healthy when he laughed. Kevin felt like he could breathe more freely when Scott laughed.</p><p>“Hi…” a small voice said in the dark.</p><p>“Hey, Mitch,” Kevin said, unable to contain his surprise.</p><p>“How are… how are you feeling?” Mitch asked, standing from his recliner and moving closer to the trio on the couch.</p><p>“Been better, been worse,” Scott replied, stiffly, shrugging.</p><p>Kevin noticed that Scott didn’t seem to want to make eye contact with the smaller boy, his eyes fixating, instead, on the top of Kirstie’s head.</p><p>Ben stirred next, and gasped, waking the rest of them up.</p><p>“Sorry. Was excited to see you,” Ben said, bashfully. Kirstie smiled up at the blond as Scott leaned in to kiss her on the forehead. “Feeling well enough to sit up and hang out, that’s amazing, Scott.” Ben complimented.</p><p>Scott shrugged. “Getting there.”</p><p>“You’re gonna be back to normal in no time,” Kirstie said. Kevin watched him flinch as she said the word, “normal”, and his heart broke for him.</p><p>“Did we fill Scott in regarding the events of the evening?” Ben asked, rubbing his eyes.</p><p>“Ben…” Kevin warned. Scott’s eyes darted between them.</p><p>“What?” Scott asked.</p><p>“Sorry… nothing.” Ben started, looking embarrassed.</p><p>It was only then that Kevin noticed how quiet Matt was being.</p><p>“What happened?” Scott asked again.</p><p>Ben shot Kevin an apologetic look. “Mitch beat someone up, was all I was gonna say.”</p><p>Scott’s eyes narrowed. “What? Where?”</p><p>“Arlington Brewhouse,” Mitch replied, stonily, not making eye contact.</p><p>“Are you okay? Why did you do that?” Scott asked, confusion laced in his voice.</p><p>“Doesn’t matter,” Kirstie interrupted, shooting a warning glance at her boyfriend.</p><p>“I thought it was funny,” Ben offered, but cringed immediately after. “Not the circumstances… but just to see Mitch knock a guy that size to the ground and beat the shit out of him.”</p><p>Scott’s eyes widened in surprise. “Why didn’t you help him?”</p><p>“He kind of… pounced on him… like a puma…” Kevin replied, putting his hands out like claws.</p><p>“It was Jason, okay?” Mitch nearly yelled, still staring at his feet.</p><p>They watched Scott’s face. It remained stoic, which made them nervous.</p><p>“Oh,” Scott replied after a few moments. “…Are you okay?”</p><p>Mitch nodded, frowning, and still refusing to look at him.</p><p>“That’s all that matters, then.”</p><p> </p><p>They were watching their third movie of the day when it went wrong.</p><p>“What do you mean this guy isn’t the best character? He totally kicks your guy’s ass,” Kevin taunted, pointing at the screen. He sat up when the blond didn’t respond. “Scotty?”</p><p>“Shit,” Matt muttered, kneeling in front of the sécor and holding onto his arms. “Scott.”</p><p>Kirstie leapt up and ran into the kitchen to retrieve the nurse. Matt struggled to keep Scott upright, staring into his lifeless eyes.</p><p>“I hate these seizures. They’re scarier than the big ones, in a lot of ways,” Matt mumbled, watching as Scott stared at nothing, his body completely limp in Matt’s hands.</p><p>“You’re wrong, Kev, I’m sorry.” Scott said, his eyes flashing with life again, as though the seizure never happened. “Hello,” Scott said, looking at the man on his knees in front of him. “Seizure?”</p><p>Matt nodded, sadly, and let his friend’s arms go, turning back to the TV without speaking a word.</p><p> </p><p>Two hours later, it came to a head, when they were trying to order dinner.</p><p>“What do you want, Scooter?” Kirstie asked, holding out a bunch of menus. Scott shrugged.</p><p>“I still can’t eat any of that. You guys pick what you want.”</p><p>“Right. Sorry. Matt? What would you like?” Kirstie turned to their friend. He continued to look at the TV and shrugged. “Mitch?” Mitch responded in the same rude manner.</p><p>“Okay. Enough.” Scott nearly snarled. His friends all turned to look at him in surprise, including the two who had evidently become mutes. “If you guys don’t want to be here, you can really go. <em>Really.” </em>Scott spat.</p><p>Mitch opened his mouth to speak, his eyes soft, when Scott continued. “I completely understand. Don’t feel obligated to sit here and rot with me. I’ll be fine here, for God’s sake. I don’t need to stare at you both looking like you want to kill yourselves. Sorry I’m such a goddamn <em>burden.”</em></p><p>Matt sat up, staring at the blond in disbelief, but Scott was on a roll now. “Yeah, we all get it. I’m repulsive. The thought of touching me is nauseating. You don’t want to be near me, but Jesus Christ, Mitch, you live <em>down the street, </em>just put yourselves out of your misery already, and <em>leave</em>! You’re free of this stupid obligation, I promise.”</p><p>Scott’s voice fell to an eerily low volume by the end of his diatribe, so much so that it almost sounded like a hiss. Then he was gone.</p><p>Matt and Mitch stared at each other. The room was silent and tense as their friends looked on. Finally, Kevin sighed and moved to follow the blond.</p><p>“Wait… I’ll go,” Matt offered, softly.</p><p>“I don’t think that’s a good idea, Matty,” Kevin replied, his tone cold.</p><p><em>He can’t possibly believe what Scott said, </em>Matt thought sadly, as his friend left the room.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0041"><h2>41. Age Twenty-Three, Part V</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Ugh I just wrote chapter like 56 or something like that and it was SAD.</p><p>I think I'll give you two chapters today, in case I don't get around to updating tomorrow or on Christmas. :) Also, this chapter is short and weird.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“I’m sorry about them,” Kevin said quietly, taking a seat next to Scott where he sat on a bench on the back patio. Scott wrapped his arms around his middle and shrugged, his jaw clenched angrily.</p><p>“Can you come inside? It’s too cold out here for you.”</p><p>“Did they leave?”</p><p>“No… no, they didn’t.”</p><p>“Then I’ll just stay here.”</p><p>Kevin watched as goosebumps formed on Scott’s arms. It wasn’t very cold outside, but Scott wasn’t physically equipped for this yet. Kevin wrapped an arm around his friend, rubbing the goosebumps away, softly.</p><p>“Why?”</p><p>“Because I don’t want to disgust them anymore. I deserve to stay out here.” Scott’s voice sounded sincere, and Kevin felt his heart literally ache.</p><p>“How about we go back up to your room then?” Kevin asked, flinching when his own voice cracked with emotion.</p><p>Scott appeared to mull this over for a moment, but then he shook his head. “I’d like to stay here.”</p><p>Kevin returned inside, coming back with a thick sweatshirt a minute later. “Please?” he asked, holding it out.</p><p>Scott nodded and took the clothing, slipping it over his head as Kevin sat back down.</p><p>“You don’t have to…” Scott began.</p><p>“If you stay, I stay,” Kevin replied, simply.</p><p> </p><p>Matt entered Scott’s room. It was pitch black, and Matt struggled to locate the bed in which he knew he would find Scott. He kicked the bedframe and cursed under his breath. His eyes narrowed as he listened to the blond chuckle in the darkness.</p><p>“Not funny,” Matt grunted, successfully laying on the bed, partially on top of the blond. He leaned over him to turn on the light on his nightstand, and rested his head on the sécor’s chest, staring into his eyes.</p><p>“I’m sorry,” Matt muttered.</p><p>“For what?” Scott sounded bored.</p><p>“I… attacked you.”</p><p>“You didn’t.”</p><p>“I most certainly did.”</p><p>He watched as Scott shook his head, smirking.</p><p>“It’s not an attack if I wanted it.”</p><p>Matt was shocked. “…You…?” he struggled to form words.</p><p>“I still do,” Scott whispered, placing his finger beneath Matt’s chin, tilting his head up and capturing his lips against his own. Matt was on all fours in an instant, hovering over the man he had wanted to kiss like this for over five years.</p><p>“What do you want me to do?” Matt whispered against the lips he was ravaging. Scott tasted sweet and Matt could already tell that he was addicted to these lips.</p><p>“Finish what you started?” Scott asked, staring at Matt through half-closed eyelids.</p><p>Matt leaned back and took in the sight below him. Scott was sprawled on his back, already shirtless, and Matt’s cock ached. He ran his hands up and down the body below him, trying to make sure he could memorize every single part of him.</p><p>“Please, Matty…” Scott whispered, reaching forward to rip Matt’s shirt off. “Fuck me, please. I want to be so good for you.”</p><p>Scott bit his lip and Matt nearly lost his mind. Matt reached down and removed all of the remaining clothing from both of them in record time, staring, mesmerized, at Scott’s hard cock.</p><p>But Scott shifted in the next moment, pushing Matt backwards and flipping himself onto his hands and knees, looking backwards at Matt in a way that made him want to freeze time and stare at this forever.</p><p>Matt must have moaned, because Scott was smiling, knowingly. “This good for you?”</p><p>Matt reached a hand forwards, wrapping his hand around Scott’s cock before trailing upwards to his hole.</p><p>He licked his own fingers, and pressed lightly on Scott’s entrance with his thumb, noting how it took every ounce of self-restraint not to bypass this process completely.</p><p>Scott bucked backwards, filling himself with Matt’s digit. Matt almost came right then and there.</p><p>“Need more, Matty. Please. Fill me?”</p><p>Matt was suddenly full of worry. Scott wasn’t himself. Matt was overcome with guilt, abruptly, when he realized that he wanted to overlook this observation and keep going.</p><p>“I want you to fill me, cum inside me, watch as it leaks out of me when you’re finished. Please, Matty… I’m told you’ll like that… People like that, I promise…” Scott grunted, bucking against Matt’s hand. Matt moaned at the mental image Scott was painting.</p><p>Matt placed a kiss on the base of Scott’s spine, and reached into his bedside table. Finding what he was looking for, he coated himself and pressed into Scott’s heat.</p><p>“Fuck,” Matt growled, clenching his eyes shut. He nearly finished right then, and he never would have forgiven himself if he had done so prematurely.</p><p>Not that he lasted much longer. It was an embarrassing showing, really, but Scott felt so damn good… <em>looked </em>so damn good like this…</p><p>“Fuck, Scott…”</p><p>“Matt…?”</p><p>“Yeah baby…?”</p><p>“MATT.”</p><p>Matt awoke with a start. The eyes he was staring into certainly weren’t a vibrant blue.</p><p>“Um… you were… making noise…” Mitch said, backing away, slowly. “And you, uh… you were saying… well… <em>yelling, </em>Scott’s name…”</p><p>Matt wanted to die.</p><p>“You may want to, uh… change.” Ben added, from his place on the far couch.</p><p>They were all awake. How loud had he been?</p><p>“URGH,” Matt groaned when he realized what they meant. He hadn’t had a wet dream since he was fourteen.</p><p> </p><p>By the time Matt returned to the room, the group had already fallen back asleep, with the exception of Mitch, who was perched at the edge of Matt’s couch.</p><p>“Don’t be embarrassed. We won’t tell him.”</p><p>“<em>You </em>won’t tell him, because you aren’t talking to him,” Matt corrected, rubbing his face embarrassedly.</p><p>“They won’t either… and just so you know… it’s happened to me a few times, too.”</p><p>“It felt so real…” Matt said, looking ahead in the dark.</p><p>“We have to fix this in the morning. We’re hurting him,” Mitch whispered.</p><p>Matt nodded, refusing to pull the trigger and tell Mitch about what he had done.</p><p> </p><p>“Morning,” Kevin grunted, passing Matt a cup of coffee in the kitchen the next morning. Connie had left breakfast on the table. Scott hadn’t emerged from his room yet, and the rest of them hadn’t woken.</p><p>“You have to fix this shit today, Matt,” Kevin scolded, narrowing his eyes. “You’re killing him. He thinks you’re repulsed.”</p><p>“That’s him being stupid,” Matt replied, but immediately realized his mistake. That had come out wrong.</p><p>“Excuse me?” Kevin asked, his voice raised an octave.</p><p>Matt gripped his coffee cup more tightly, becoming annoyed. “That’s. Him. Being. Stupid. Insecure, if you prefer.”</p><p>“And that’s <em>his </em>problem? Matt, think of what he’s been through, then all of a sudden you won’t even <em>look at him…</em> with no reasoning behind it!”</p><p>“Who says there isn’t a reason?” Matt asked, gruffly.</p><p>“There’s a reason you’re acting repulsed?” Kevin asked.</p><p>“Yes.”</p><p>“Are you… are you repulsed?”</p><p>“Yes.”</p><p>“Fuck you.”</p><p>“I’m repulsed with MYSELF.” Matt replied, his eyes filling with tears as he yelled the last word. Kevin’s eyes widened, then softened, and he took a step closer. “I raped him,” Matt added in a whisper, reaching up to run a shaky hand through his hair. “I raped him.”</p><p>Matt wasn’t sure if Kevin was going to hit him when he came closer, but he found himself wrapped in a tight hug.</p><p>“When?”</p><p>“The day Scott wanted space. I… I stopped after… I never actually… but Rick said it counts… his count is one… because of me…”</p><p>Kevin pulled away for a moment, staring into his friend’s eyes, pleading with him to calm down.</p><p>“Shit…” Kevin said, pulling out of Matt’s grip completely.</p><p>“What?” Matt asked, his voice a whisper.</p><p>“You just… left after? Did you… talk to him about it?”</p><p>Matt shook his head, not trusting his voice.</p><p>“And you stopped? What were you doing when you stopped?”</p><p>Matt shook his head, telling Kevin nonverbally that he didn’t want to say.</p><p>“You need to tell me.”</p><p>“I was… fingering him… opening him up…” Matt replied, hoping Kevin would punch him in the face already, and put him out of his misery.</p><p>“So you… you were doing that… and then you left without another word?”</p><p>“Well… no.”</p><p>“Matt, come <em>on</em>.” Kevin urged, his voice sounding panicked.</p><p>“I… pulled out of him and backed away, I started to cry, and he tried to come over and comfort me. I didn’t deserve that… I didn’t deserve him touching me, being near me, not after what I had done… so I told him to get away from me. I hated how understanding he was, how calm…”</p><p>“Matt… you don’t see how this is a problem?”</p><p>“I fucking understand, Kevin. I <em>raped him.”</em></p><p>“No! forget that for a second… he thinks you stopped because of a problem with <em>him, physically. </em>Get it? Hence the repulsion comment… Add that to the mix of the fact that Mitch also distanced himself after they were… intimate. Matt, he wouldn’t even come in the house yesterday. He said he deserved to stay outside. God, could you think about <em>him </em>for a minute?”</p><p>Mitch was in the doorway when Kevin finished his rant, his eyes wide and teary.</p><p>Matt ignored the new entrant. “So he thinks he isn’t good enough to be raped? That makes no sense.” His voice was oozing with anger and sarcasm, which only made Kevin angrier.</p><p>“You’re an actual idiot. Trauma doesn’t make <em>sense. </em>Not in the way you or I define it.Matt, he’s fucked up.”</p><p>“So, what do I do?” Matt asked, his voice cracking.</p><p>“We tell him that we love him. And we explain what happened. And then from now on we make sure we’re much more careful,” Mitch explained.</p><p>“Thank God <em>one</em> of you is back with us,” Kevin replied, nodding condescendingly.</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0042"><h2>42. Age Twenty-Four, Part I</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Second chapter of the day! Another reason I wanted to give you another one is because I wanted to get the group the hell outta Arlington. So here you go!</p><p>Sorry that this one is a bit sad, but it gives you some good info and answers a couple of questions that I know some of you had :(</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>They remained in Arlington for three weeks, in order to spend Scott’s birthday with his parents.</p><p>Scott was making progress. He had already gained a bit of weight back, but they continued to monitor what types of food he was eating in an effort to prevent sickness. He was sleeping more soundly. He cracked jokes and returned banter when it was thrown his way.</p><p>But he was still trapped in his own thoughts more often than not, and he continued to have seizures.</p><p>They weren’t as frequent, but they were still terrifying.</p><p>Rick had taken Scott for an MRI a week ago. It found nothing. Rick had a hypothesis, but he wasn’t sure how to help it.</p><p>They settled on this, for the average person to understand: Scott’s brain sort of… glitched, due to the combination of his high count and the heroin. It’s like his body knew that he was supposed to break several times already, but the heroin had made his brain refuse to do so. So, in turn, his brain got confused once it was finally allowed to break, and it went a bit haywire. So, here they all were, watching Scott seize on a daily basis.</p><p> </p><p>Matt held onto him tightly as he convulsed suddenly upon entry into their house, and lowered him to the ground after placing a soft kiss to his temple, as if to say, “I’m here with you.”</p><p>Because he was. He had been with Scott every second that he was allowed to be, since their fateful discussion about the horrible misunderstanding that had taken place. It had been emotional and extremely difficult, but Scott let Matt back in, and Matt took that privilege very seriously. Scott had done the same with Mitch shortly after, and Matt was pretty sure that they were all back on track.</p><p>They had just arrived home in LA, and hadn’t even made it fully through the door, Kevin pulling suitcases behind him and rushing to their side as well.</p><p>“Protect his head… good.” Kevin mumbled, placing a sweatshirt underneath Scott’s skull. “You’re okay,” Kevin whispered as he looked down at his unconscious friend, and Matt knew that Kevin was saying this more for his own benefit than for anyone else.</p><p>Scott stilled after another minute, and Kevin reached beneath him to lift him out of the doorway, hugging him to his chest and laying him on the couch.</p><p>“The one time I’m glad he’s light as a feather right now,” Kevin mumbled, throwing a blanket over the top of him and tucking him in to sleep it off.</p><p>“Surprise!” a sweet voice sounded from the front doorway, and Kevin grinned, running to meet her and lifting her off the ground in a bone-crushing hug.</p><p>“I missed you so much,” Kevin exclaimed, squeezing her tightly one last time before putting her down and pecking her on the lips.</p><p>“How was the trip back?” Leigh asked, smiling, and turned just as Matt emerged from the living room, looking exhausted. “Whoa… you okay?”</p><p>Matt nodded. “Hey, Leigh…” She crossed the floor and hugged him tightly. “Sorry… just had a little scare.”</p><p>She pulled away. “Scott?”</p><p>Kevin nodded. “Seizure, right as we came in the door.”</p><p>“Poor thing.”</p><p>“I know.”</p><p>“No, I mean me. I wanted to meet him!” Kevin smiled at her joke. “Where is he?”</p><p>“Living room… passed out.”</p><p>She dramatically tip toed across the floor and peaked around the corner, eyeing the blond where he lay asleep.</p><p>“He’s so <em>cute,” </em>Leigh cooed, and Kevin held a palm to his chest in feigned offense.</p><p>“Why do I have a feeling that you’re gonna love him more than me?”</p><p>“Because <em>everyone </em>loves him more than you,” Mitch interjected, a sassy smile playing on his lips as he approached. “Hey, Leigh, we missed you.”</p><p>They embraced tightly as she laughed at his jab. “I think I can be the one person on team Kevin, if absolutely necessary.”</p><p>“Gee, thanks,” Kevin replied, laughing lightly.</p><p> </p><p>They were all sitting around the kitchen table an hour later when Matt’s face brightened, looking over Kevin’s shoulder. “There he is. Welcome back.”</p><p>Kevin stood with Leigh, and they turned to face the newcomer, who looked a bit dazed in the doorway.</p><p>“Here I am…” Scott replied, sleepily, but his face broke into a smile when he noticed the person whom he had never met. “Hi!” he exclaimed. Leigh smiled and reached for a handshake, but he pulled her into a hug. “Nice to meet you,” he said, quietly, his voice sincere.</p><p>“You too. I couldn’t wait to meet the man, the myth, the legend. These five never stop talking about you!”</p><p>He hugged her to his chest and turned to face Kevin. “Okay, she’s sweet. I’m keeping her. Find your own.”</p><p>Kevin laughed and slapped Scott’s hands away, playfully. “In your dreams, Scotty. This one is mine.”</p><p> </p><p>There was a knock on the door as they sat around trying to brainstorm their next video concept. Mitch shrugged and disappeared down the hall, and they heard him squeal in the distance.</p><p>They shot curious glances at one another before bounding down the hallway after their roommate.</p><p>Scott’s eyes met other vibrant blues, and he found his eyes welling with tears before he could register what was happening.</p><p>Chris crossed the floor in a moment and scooped him up into his arms, wordlessly.</p><p>“Hey, Scotty. I’m so glad you’re safe,” he whispered, his voice soft and comforting.</p><p>Scott hadn’t realized how much he needed to see these people until they were in his house.</p><p>He was suddenly overcome with guilt as he hugged Niall and Jesse in turn. He hadn’t called them yet. He didn’t want to scare him with his… new appearance. He wondered if he looked healthy enough not the scare them now. He only cried harder as he embraced Jesse’s broken body.</p><p>“So good to see you,” Jesse said, his voice dripping with excitement. Scott felt a pang of sadness in his chest, knowing how close Jesse had been with Tom, and then Bobby. Then, going through his own breaking… his heart hurt for his friend.</p><p>“Okay, can I talk to him now please, children?” Chris’ low voice boomed. They laughed and let their friend go. “Can we talk to him alone?” Chris asked, turning to Scott’s roommates. They smiled politely and nodded, slightly disappointed that they couldn’t be involved.</p><p> </p><p>“How are you feeling, really?” Chris asked as Scott closed the door to his bedroom, his tone fatherly and protective.</p><p>Scott knew that his roommates were dying to know what had happened to him in the year during which he was away. He wasn’t ready to tell them. But perhaps he could talk to other sécors about it.</p><p>“I should most certainly be dead, but somehow, I’m not,” Scott shrugged, but shut up as soon as he realized how insensitive he sounded. He eyed Jesse, warily. Jesse simply smiled softly back at him.</p><p>“Heroin. Bold move on the bastard’s part. There isn’t even any concrete evidence that that works.” Chris replied.</p><p>Scott gestured to himself. “Here’s your concrete evidence.”</p><p>“How long were you dosed?”</p><p>“Six months, ish.”</p><p>“They probably needed to give you a lot to keep you from breaking for that long. Insanely high doses.”</p><p>Scott nodded, suddenly feeling like he would rather talk about anything else. “What’s going on with <em>your </em>situation, Chris?”</p><p>Chris narrowed his eyes, nonverbally indicating that he knew that Scott was trying to change the subject. “They’re reopening my case. My lawyer has an idea… they’re gonna spin it as I was trying to defend <em>Kirstie and Matt, </em>not Jesse. Since they’re human, they might go easier on me. Until then, I get to run free.” Chris smiled. “But this visit isn’t about me, Scotty.”</p><p>“It should be about all of us,” Scott replied, looking softly at Niall and Jesse. “We’ve all suffered.”</p><p>“Not like you,” Jesse replied, sitting on the bed. Scott wanted to slap some sense back into him.</p><p>“Jesse, you’re broken.”</p><p>“Yes, but I was never tortured. None of us were.”</p><p>Scott froze, unsure of how they could know. He hadn’t told a soul.</p><p>Chris’ eyes welled with tears as he lowered himself to look into Scott’s eyes. “What happened?”</p><p>Scott shook his head frantically. “I wasn’t tortured.”</p><p>Chris took his hands in his own, larger ones, rubbing his knuckles. “Scott… it’s us. Just us, okay?”</p><p>Scott’s eyes welled with tears that mirrored Chris’, and he cursed himself for his inability to hold it together. He shook his head again. “I wasn’t…”</p><p>“Scotty… your number is so high… and what they found in the basement with you… we know about it.”</p><p>Scott pushed at Chris’ chest with all of his might, wanting him to get the hell away from him at all costs, but Chris’ sturdy frame remained still, further illustrating how weak Scott had become.</p><p>“You can tell me,” Chris embraced the smaller figure, hating that he could feel his spine protruding just a bit too much through his shirt. “Will you tell me? Niall and Jesse can leave. Please, Scott, we need to know how to help you.”</p><p>“I’m okay.” Scott protested, weakly, but the manner in which he clung to the larger man told him otherwise.</p><p>“We’re going to step out…” Niall offered softly, and with that, they were gone.</p><p>“Does everybody know?” Scott asked, sounding like he might lose his mind, depending on the answer.</p><p>“They suspect, love. You told Matt some pretty troubling things… something about ‘if he knew what they did to you’?” Chris responded, quietly, rubbing his thumb against Scott’s cheek, willing him to calm down.</p><p>“He shouldn’t have told you about that… and you… how do you know what they found? And you shouldn’t have told them about that at all…” Scott was rambling angrily now.</p><p>“What did he do?”</p><p>“What did who do?”</p><p>“Scott…”</p><p>“Which one do you want to know about? My master? Or the man who paid for my heroin? My master’s son? His brother? The party guests?”</p><p>Chris’s eyes widened with the mention of each person. “Party guests?”</p><p>“They would pass me around. Ten of them, maybe. They would finish and just pass me to the next. They wouldn’t even… they wouldn’t even clean me out first… they would just… finish inside me and add to it… see how much I could fit…” Chris leaned in closely to listen to Scott’s whispering. He sat on the bed, behind the smaller man, and wrapped his arms around him, rubbing his arms as he listened.</p><p>The positioning had been intentional for Chris. He didn’t want Scott to see him cry.</p><p>“Is that who you meant?” Scott asked, his voice breaking.</p><p>Chris gave him a light squeeze. “That was a good start, Scotty. You’re doing well.”</p><p>“My master…? He… he liked to… play… with me. He liked to use toys. Big… p-painful toys. He liked to see how long it took for me to s-scream. He… he loved to hear me scream.” Scott’s voice broke again, and a sob escaped his lips. Chris rocked him back and forth, gently, resting his forehead against the back of Scott’s neck.</p><p>“He would choke me, cut me… carve his initials into me, at first.. but then the cuts looked too messy, so he stopped.”</p><p>“He would edge me. Bring me right to the point of orgasm, then stop. Over and over… for hours… until it hurt <em>so badly</em> and my head swam, and I felt like I might actually die… from the over-stimulation…” Another sob. Chris wasn’t sure which one of them it had come from.</p><p>“Shh, it’s okay. You’re okay. Shh, babe…” Chris clutched at the body against him, feeling Scott’s ribs press sharply against him as Scott’s breathing picked up.</p><p>“He and his friend had a favorite thing they liked to do…” Scott whispered, his voice bordering on hysterical.</p><p>Chris wanted to tell him to stop. He didn’t know if his heart could take much more, but he was so proud of Scott for speaking, he knew better than to end this here.</p><p>“I don’t remember all of it… I just remember my hands would be tied in front of me… my master would… lay down… on his back. And his friend would hold me up and sit me on top of him… making me… making me ride him. But I was too weak… so his friend would hold me there. Then, he would also… fuck me… they would… at the same time…”</p><p>Chris’ breath shuddered and his eyes clenched shut, and he might actually pop Scott’s lungs with how tightly he was squeezing him, but he couldn’t help it.</p><p>“They liked how that felt. They would do that… they would do that a lot.”</p><p>“I’m so sorry, love. I’m so damn sorry,” Chris whispered in his ear, holding him tightly. “That must have been so painful… all of that. I’m so sorry.”</p><p>“It was disgusting…” Scott replied, the tears falling freely now. “I felt… I <em>feel… </em>so disgusting.”</p><p>“You’re not. You’re not, baby. You’re not.” Chris repeated, over and over.</p><p>“They… stretched me… destroyed me… I can’t even look at myself… I don’t remember the last time I looked in a mirror…”</p><p>“You don’t have to. Just know that you look beautiful. Okay?” Chris whispered, unsure of what else he could possibly say. He didn’t know how to tell him that sécors couldn’t be permanently physically damaged without it sounding like he was downplaying the hurt that Scott had been through. That could wait for another time. “I’m so proud of you…”</p><p>“For what? Letting people rape me almost 1,000 times?” Scott asked sarcastically, reaching up to pull at his hair in a way that was too familiar to Chris. He reached a hand out and placed it over Scott’s, soothing him back down.</p><p>“It’s not 1,000, first of all…”</p><p>“857. Give or take,” Scott whispered.</p><p>Chris paused, thinking the number seemed strange.</p><p>
  <em>156… 700 was the estimate for this time…</em>
</p><p>“856,” Chris offered, knowing it was trivial, but feeling the need to clarify.</p><p>“857.” Scott argued back.</p><p>“Scott, what’s your count now?”</p><p>“One.”</p><p>The tone was matter-of-fact, and Chris’ stomach churned painfully.</p><p>“Who?”</p><p>“It was an accident,” Scott replied, his voice distant now.</p><p>Chris dropped it, but vowed to get to the bottom of this, in one way or another.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0043"><h2>43. Age Twenty-Four, Part II</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Merry Christmas, all six of you! (lmao). Here is your gift: a mediocre chapter with a blow-up and some cuddles.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Chris emerged from Scott’s room, alone, and walked down the stairs, letting gravity do much of the work due to his lack of energy from that horrible conversation.</p><p>He hated leaving Scott alone in his room, but after Scott’s fifth request, Chris felt that he had to honor it, to give his friend time to calm himself down.</p><p>Scott had broken down in tears again, and Chris had done all he could to hold him together. They cried together, and Chris apologized over and over again.</p><p>He couldn’t even begin to imagine the pain. He was overcome with sickness as he thought of how much of a miracle it was that Scott wasn’t dead.</p><p>“How’d it… oh, no,” Niall nearly whispered, sitting next to the larger man as he collapsed on the couch. “Bad?”</p><p>Chris had come down here with every intention of remaining composed as he told his friends about how it had gone, without revealing too much information, as that wouldn’t be fair to Scott. That plan went to hell quickly, however, and Chris broke down in tears as soon as Niall had uttered the word.</p><p>Chris’ reaction was surprising, and Scott’s friends stood in silence, watching the largest sécor falling apart, with dread in the pits of their stomachs.</p><p>“What happened?” Matt asked, his voice dripping with desperation. “Chris, what happened to him?”</p><p>Chris shook his head. “I can’t tell you. That wouldn’t be fair.”</p><p>“You would tell us if it helped us to help him though, right?” Kevin asked.</p><p>Chris nodded. “Of course.”</p><p>“No, not ‘of course’. If we know what went so horribly wrong, we can work to fix it. If we stay in the dark, he continues to suffer in silence. You telling us what we’re up against is the first step in all of this, no matter what.” Mitch argued, his eyes narrow.</p><p>Chris’s eyes narrowed as well, to match Mitch’s anger. “Tell me this first, then, Mitch. Which one of you upped his count already?”</p><p>The room was silent.</p><p>“He told me his count is one. Who. Did it.” Chris’ voice was low and threatening now.</p><p>“That’s gotta be a mistake…” Ben started, clutching a wide-eyed Kirstie. Leigh stood off to the side, not really knowing how to contribute to the conversation and hating this whole thing.</p><p>“WHICH ONE OF YOU?” Chris shouted now, his tears falling freely again.</p><p>“Me.” Matt said softly, his head in his hands. If Chris was going to kill him, he didn’t want to see it.</p><p>Kevin stepped between them. “He was affected.”</p><p>“You knew?” Kirstie asked, her voice rising. “You knew that he had hurt him, and you encouraged him to go back in there and be alone with him?”</p><p>“Rick knew.” Kevin replied, feeling attacked. “And we would never put Scott at risk.”</p><p>“And yet, you <em>did</em> put him at risk.’ Ben turned to Mitch. “Did you know, too? Were you in on it? Was that why you two were being such <em>dicks?”</em> Ben asked, holding Kirstie tighter. “The dream. Was that… was that <em>after?” </em>Ben asked in disbelief, a snarl creeping across his face, as Scott crept down the stairs, sitting on one that was halfway down, unnoticed.</p><p>“What dream?” Chris asked, voicing Scott’s own question, matching Ben’s level of anger.</p><p>“His fucking <em>wet dream, </em>where he was moaning Scott’s fucking <em>name.” </em>Ben replied, seething. “Before or after you <em>raped </em>him?”</p><p>Scott watched as Matt kept his head hung low. “After.”</p><p>There was a shattering sound and Scott flinched, covering his mouth to keep from whimpering aloud and giving himself away. He craned his neck to look around the group, where Ben had just thrown a lamp across the floor.</p><p>“What? You were picturing how you had already fucked him against his will? Did that <em>turn you on? </em>Get the fuck out.” Ben snarled.</p><p>Chris stepped forward. This hadn’t been his intention. He felt slightly guilty as he looked at the man with his head hung in shame. He knew that Matt would never intentionally hurt Scott.</p><p>Matt stood silently, wiping his eyes before walking out the door.</p><p>Chris turned to note that Ben was shaking. He appreciated this man’s protective nature about him.</p><p>Suddenly, Scott ran by them without saying a word.</p><p>“Scott,” Kirstie called, running after him, but stopping short when the front door was slammed.</p><p> </p><p>“Matt. Matt, stop.” Scott urged, panting already as he ran after his friend who had all but sprinted down the street.</p><p>Matt froze, turning slowly. “Scott. You shouldn’t be out here, and you definitely shouldn’t be running,” he said, his voice shaking.</p><p>“I just… had to… wow… can’t catch… my breath…” Scott huffed, placing his hands on his knees. Matt closed the distance between them and wrapped his hand around one of Scott’s arms. “Had to… come after you… that wasn’t… fair.”</p><p>“Stop talking,” Matt urged, nervously.</p><p>“Make me, jerk,” Scott snapped, sticking his tongue out. Matt somehow found a smirk gracing his own lips. “Anyway, now that I can breathe… come back? Ben was just shocked. I’m sorry that Chris stirred the pot. He didn’t mean it.” Scott’s eyes looked exhausted from the exertion, and Matt found himself complying with the request way too easily. “I kinda… hit him with some stuff. Gave him whiplash, you know?”</p><p>Matt nodded, and turned to walk back to the house. He pondered if he should ask Scott to tell him about it, but he noticed something that made him pause.</p><p>Scott suddenly looked confused.</p><p>“You okay?” Matt asked, reaching for the blond again.</p><p>He caught him just in time, sinking him down to the sidewalk as Kevin and Chris ran to their side, with Kirstie and Ben running behind them.</p><p>Matt could tell in their eyes that the hatchet was buried, right then and there, as they watched their friend, helplessly.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m sorry,” Chris said later, eyeing Matt. “I shouldn’t have come at you like that. We know that the pheromones can hit anyone at any time. I didn’t mean to make you feel worse than you clearly already do.”</p><p>Matt nodded in thanks, not trusting his voice to respond.</p><p>“I’m sorry, too. Matt, I know that you would never intentionally hurt him. Tensions were just running high,” Ben added, staring at the floor from his spot on the couch, where Chris had just placed Scott’s limp body. He looked at the blond. “Think we caused this with our stupid fight?”</p><p>Kevin nodded. “I don’t know about sécor seizures, if there is a such thing… but I do know about traumatic brain injuries and the seizures that they can stir up, same with epilepsy… they’re usually affected by stress.”</p><p>“Scott’s in a constant state of stress,” Mitch argued, sadly.</p><p>“We certainly didn’t help the situation,” Kevin replied. “Chris… seriously, is there anything we need to know?”</p><p>Chris refused to look away from where Scott lay on the couch as he appeared to mull over his response. “Probably.”</p><p>Niall scooted closer to the larger man, gripping his hand. “If the risk outweighs the benefit of not telling them, you should tell them.”</p><p>“I won’t tell them everything. I can’t.”</p><p>“That’s okay.” Mitch replied, softly.</p><p>“Okay,” Chris replied, rubbing his eyes. “What you need to know is that it’s a miracle that he’s functioning at all.” The room was quiet, urging him to continue. “He was tortured. One hundred percent,” Chris added, looking at Jesse and Niall, answering their suspicions from Scott’s bedroom. “Unlike anything I can imagine…”</p><p>“Please, Chris. We need more,” Ben urged, leaning forward.</p><p>Chris shut his eyes, unable to look at the prying eyes anymore. “There were multiple people… The toys they found in the basement were used on him… in horrible ways. He was… played with. They enjoyed hurting him, they would do it for hours at a time. And they were horrible in how they decided to do that.”</p><p>“So, what do we do?” Kirstie asked, her voice squeaking with emotion.</p><p>“I think he hates himself.” Chris replied, looking down at the peaceful sleeping face. “Did you guys notice that he won’t look at himself in a mirror?” The group’s silence was confirmation that they hadn’t noticed. “He feels dirty in his own skin. That’s the first step. We pick him back up, somehow.”</p><p>“How the hell do we do that?” Mitch asked.</p><p>“How do you fix something that has cracked in nearly 1,000 different places?” Kirstie added.</p><p>“Very… very slowly.”</p><p> </p><p>Scott awoke nearly two hours later, while the rest of them were watching a movie. He glanced down at his feet, where Chris was sitting upright, giving him a soft smile. He returned it, and Chris held his arms open, wordlessly. Scott shifted around, flinching as he did so. Seizures always left him feeling like he had been hit by a truck. He settled into the larger sécor’s embrace, trying to stay awake this time, and focusing on Chris’ hands rubbing up and down his side, soothingly.</p><p>Chris glanced over at Matt, who was looking at Scott as he lay in Chris’ arms, silently, his face unreadable. Chris suddenly understood.</p><p>
  <em>Matt’s in love with him.</em>
</p><p>Chris smiled softly at the man on the other couch, clearly snapping him out of his thoughts as he turned to look back at the screen. If it didn’t seem so strange, he would have told Scott to go and lay with the other man, instead.</p><p>But Chris had missed the smaller sécor so much, he allowed himself to be selfish for just a while longer. He raised one of his hands to rest in Scott’s hair, running his fingers through the strands.</p><p>Chris, Jesse, and Niall stayed for 3 days before returning to New York. Scott cried as they left, which broke everybody’s heart.</p><p>“I would tell you to come, but you’re in the best hands here,” Chris whispered, holding onto him tightly. He pulled away and gripped Scott’s face in between his hands. “I will be here in a minute if you need me to be. Understood?” Scott sighed and nodded, and Chris thumbed away a few stray tears on Scott’s face before placing a kiss on his forehead. “We love you, Scotty.”</p><p>As he watched them drive away, he felt arms wrap around his middle. They were small, but strong. “I’ll take his place, holding you as much as you need,” Mitch’s soft voice offered, and Scott found himself smiling.</p><p>“Good. I need that,” Scott replied, pulling Mitch to his side and squeezing him around the shoulders. </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0044"><h2>44. Age Twenty-Four, Part III</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hope you all had a wonderful holiday! </p><p>Something to look forward to: Two new characters with whom you are all familiar will make their debut in tomorrow's chapter. Any guesses?</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was hard to gauge if Scott was gaining any weight at all over the next few weeks. He seemed to always be wearing heavy clothing. His face continued to look thin, but a healthy complexion had returned, at the very least.</p><p>In fact, the only way to tell at all was during the few occasions that Scott would allow them to touch him. Those instances were becoming fewer and farther between, which was troubling in itself. He would appear to be his old self, laughing and smiling, but when someone would reach for him, or even sit too close to him on the couch, he would flinch.</p><p><em>Does trauma work this way? Is it delayed? </em>They had each had these thoughts several times over by now, and Kevin had told them that, yes, it can be.</p><p>In the aftermath of seizures, they had even taken to running their hands along his frame, just to see if he had filled out at all, but not wanting to violate his trust by actually looking.</p><p>He was having these seizures only a few times per week now, which was a plus.</p><p>And he <em>was </em>eating, at least. Almost normally.</p><p> </p><p>They sat in front of the camera, warming up their voices, just before Thanksgiving. They were ready to try this again, to show people that they were back, that Scott was okay, and that they could do this.</p><p>“Action,” Ben said lightly behind the camera.</p><p>Kevin began beatboxing, a slow, but intricate beat, as the rest joined in with long, haunting notes.</p><p>“And… cut. Did you really do it perfectly on the first try?” Ben asked as they completed their final note. “You guys were meant to sing together.”</p><p>“It sounded so pretty! I hope the audio sounds as good as it sounded in the room,” Kirstie replied, grinning.</p><p>“Should we post a video message in the end credits?” Kevin asked.</p><p>They all turned to look at Scott, letting him take the lead on this decision. He shrugged in response. “If you want.” They turned back to the camera in their same position.</p><p>“…Action.”</p><p>“Hey!” They chorused, and laughed at how synchronized it sounded.</p><p>“Thank you so much for checking out our first Christmas song, ‘Little Drummer Boy’. We hope it gets you into the holiday spirit!” Kirstie said.</p><p>“We have a very exciting announcement, though it shouldn’t come as a surprise if you watched this video… we are BACK!” Scott added, laughing. “We plan to keep bringing you holiday music throughout this whole season, so please make sure you keep your eyes and ears open for that.”</p><p>“Yes, and we wanted to thank you all for your support on our last two videos, as well as your support for the hashtag, BringScottHome. As you can see, your hopes and prayers worked, and Scott is back with us, safe and sound.” Mitch interjected, reaching out a hand to rest on Scott’s back.</p><p>“So get ready to hear a lot more from us… but only if you like and subscribe!” Kevin said.</p><p>“Exactly, and keep the love coming in the comments. Happy holidays!” Matt ended, and they all waved.</p><p>“Cut. Perfect. Let’s get this up and running, stat.”</p><p> </p><p>Kevin checked the comments the next day.</p><p>
  <b>
    <strong>YES. Was so excited when I got the notification. Welcome back!</strong>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <strong>Yay, Scott’s home!</strong>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <strong>Aww, he looks good! They all do!</strong>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <strong>Sick take on the song!</strong>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <strong>Scott’s so pretty (heart eyes)</strong>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <strong>You guys sound like angels!</strong>
  </b>
</p><p>Kevin smiled, but knew that there must be some negative ones mixed in, somewhere. He scrolled until he found one.</p><p>
  <b>
    <strong>He looks… unhealthy, no?</strong>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <strong>Reply: Well, he was held against his will for over a year, what do you expect?</strong>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <strong>Reply: I think he looks handsome.</strong>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <strong>Reply: No, too skinny. He looked better before.</strong>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <strong>Reply: Damaged goods!</strong>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <strong>Reply: I’d still hit it.</strong>
  </b>
</p><p>Kevin looked for a way to delete the entire thread, but gave up after a minute, sighing in frustration at the nasty words.</p><p>“You okay?” Leigh’s quiet voice startled him out of his thoughts.</p><p>“People are mean,” he replied, showing her the screen.</p><p>“Delete it,” she replied after reading it over. “Or disable comments?”</p><p>“We want people to comment on it. It’s harder to go viral if people can’t discuss it.”</p><p>“Okay… then just make sure Scott doesn’t read them. That could really mess him up.”</p><p> </p><p>They ended up releasing three additional songs during the Christmas season. ‘Mary, Did you Know’ seemed to do the best with their new fanbase, but Mitch argued that ‘The First Noel’ was better, while Kirstie was certain that their only upbeat choice, ‘Joy to the World,’ was far superior.</p><p>They had indeed gone viral, and negative comments were being hidden by positive and encouraging ones more so with each video, as Scott looked more and more like himself.</p><p> </p><p>By January, Scott’s seizures were minimal, which put them all at ease. They still occurred a couple of times each week, but everyone was happy to see that they continued to decrease over time.</p><p>Scott’s ability to tolerate being touched, however, still hadn’t improved.</p><p>They were binge-watching a show that Mitch had recommended one evening in January. Scott was curled up around one of the armrests of the couch, with Mitch on the other side. Their feet were barely touching, and yet it was the closest that Scott had allowed him since Chris, Niall, and Jesse had left.</p><p>Mitch glanced over as Scott looked down at his glowing phone screen. His heart stopped when Scott’s phone dropped from his grasp and landed on the floor in front of him with a thud.</p><p>Thinking he was having a seizure, Mitch approached him quickly, and sank to his knees in front of him, reaching out to hold him up. Scott swatted at him with shaking hands and erupted from the couch, disappearing into the bathroom.</p><p>The group sat frozen as they heard the sound of retching behind the closed door. Kevin was the first to respond, unwrapping his arms around Leigh and approaching the door cautiously.</p><p>“Scott? Let me in?” he called, gently. He was met with silence, and his heart rate increased. “You okay?” More silence. “Scott, answer me, please?” He jiggled the handle, but the door was locked. “Please, just say something?”</p><p>“…I’m okay…” a soft, broken voice sounded from behind the door, the sound of which broke the heart of everyone in the room.</p><p>“Come out whenever you’re ready, and shout if you need us, okay?” Kevin asked, trying to hide his fear.</p><p>“…okay.”</p><p>Kevin placed his forehead on the door, wishing he could reach through it.</p><p>“What’s on the phone?” Kevin asked when he returned to the couch, reaching for the abandoned device.</p><p>“Kev, maybe you shouldn’t snoop…” Leigh said softly, as he plugged in Scott’s password.</p><p>Kevin stared down at the screen, and the others watched as his face broke into a pained grimace. The phone fell from Kevin’s grasp in a manner identical to how it had fallen from Scott’s, and he sat on the couch without another word, placing his head in his hands.</p><p>“Someone go, get to him. Now. Don’t take no for an answer.” Kevin nearly whispered.</p><p>“What is it?”</p><p>“Someone go, please?” Kevin asked again, his voice breaking.</p><p>“Kev…”</p><p>“Someone go, make sure he’s okay!” Kevin yelled, his fists shaking.</p><p>Leigh looked at her boyfriend differently in that moment. She had never seen him like this before.</p><p>Matt knocked on the door without another word, his heart thumping painfully in his chest. “Scott, let me in. I need to know that you’re alright.”</p><p>There was silence on the other side for too long, and Matt thought he might cry. But he heard the sound of the lock click, and he opened the door to find Scott on the floor, clutching his knees to his chest, and staring at his feet.</p><p>Matt sank into a kneel, and placed his hands gently on the blond’s knees. “Look at me?” Matt whispered.</p><p>Scott complied, and his stare scared Matt even more.</p><p>“What’s wrong? How can I help?” Matt asked, desperately.</p><p>Scott simply shook his head, his eyes wide and tearful.</p><p>Matt reached for him, desperately wanting to provide him with comfort, but Scott tried to scoot backwards, out of his reach, hitting his back against the tile wall behind him.</p><p>“Okay, okay… I won’t touch. I won’t touch, I promise.”</p><p>Matt clenched his eyes shut, wondering if he would ever be able to touch his friend again at all. He missed the sense of comfort that having Scott in his arms had always provided.</p><p>“I’ve got it now, thank you,” Kevin mumbled, entering the bathroom and sinking to his knees beside Matt. He looked at Matt, expectantly.</p><p>“You… want me to go?” Matt asked, softly. Kevin only nodded. Something about leaving Scott right now didn’t feel right, but Matt found himself on his feet again, closing the bathroom door behind him as he left.</p><p>Kirstie looked at the phone on the floor like it carried a contagious disease. She mulled over her options, but decided that she was far too afraid to look at its contents.</p><p>Mitch, on the other hand, suddenly sighed and grabbed the phone, despite the protests from Leigh and Ben.</p><p>Except now the sound was turned up on the phone’s edge. And as Mitch stared in horror at the screen, the rest of them could hear the horrific source of Scott’s pain.</p><p>Matt thought he might pass out as he heard the grunting and slapping noises through the phone’s speaker. Mitch stared at the phone with wide eyes, as though transfixed. His hand came to rest over his mouth, like he was forcing himself not to scream.</p><p>“You’re such a good boy, taking both of us like this. Look at how you fit us both. Look at how we stretch you. So fucking beautiful.”</p><p>Matt reached for the phone, snatching it out of Mitch’s frozen hands. He glanced at the screen, which confirmed his suspicion. Scott’s barely-conscious body was being held up on top of the body of one man, while another man was behind him.</p><p>It took Matt several more seconds to finally come to terms with the fact that he was watching a video of Scott being double-penetrated. He clicked the phone screen off and felt his knees give out as the phone hit the ground for a third time.</p><p>“Where the hell did that come from?” Mitch whispered, reaching for the phone again and canceling out of the video as quickly as his fingers could press the small “x” in the corner.</p><p>It was a text message from a blocked number.</p><p>
  <b>
    <strong>Restricted: Thought you might miss me.</strong>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <strong>Restricted: (Video)</strong>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <strong>Restricted: Let me know if you’d like to see more. This was a personal favorite of mine.</strong>
  </b>
</p><p>“How… how did he get this number?” Leigh asked, picking up the phone and scrolling through the texts.</p><p>It was only then that Matt realized that Mitch hadn’t spoken. He turned to face his friend, who was white as a ghost and shaking.</p><p>“Scott isn’t safe. How could we be stupid enough to believe he was?” Mitch whispered, suddenly. </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0045"><h2>45. Age Twenty-Four, Part IV</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>The writing struggle is real. I'm trying to wrap it up, but it just keeps taking on a life of it's own... I hope I don't lose you with how drawn out this story will be!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>They deplaned two weeks later, on the island of Maui.</p><p>Scott’s parents had hired lawyers to develop a restraining order, in order to ensure that he was safe from the source of these troubling texts.</p><p>In the meantime, his parents also thought that it would be best for him to leave LA. His friends certainly didn’t protest when they were provided with a free villa in paradise for two weeks.</p><p>Kevin walked behind Scott as he made his way through the terminal, wheeling his suitcase behind him. He felt a sense of pride as he looked at the blond. Scott had handled this situation extremely well, with all things considered. After his episode in the bathroom, Scott had been convinced not to let this situation bring him down further. He decided to take a page out of Chris’ book, and started to take better care of himself. Kevin was enjoying their time together at the gym each day, as Scott worked to make himself a strong as possible.</p><p>Kevin wasn’t sure if it was the sécor genes within him, but Scott’s body had transformed quite quickly. Not that it was terribly easy to tell, as Scott was still awfully modest in terms of allowing them to see or touch him. Kevin could tell that Scott was stronger than he had been, however, and that was good enough for him.</p><p>They were surprised when Scott came home last week with a new tattoo that spanned from his shoulder to his elbow. It was beautiful, but unexpected. And no, they most certainly didn’t cry when Scott had explained what each flower meant: Each type of flower represented one of them, and the fact that they wrapped around his arm signified how each of his four best friends had been holding him up.</p><p>Okay, so maybe they had cried. Like babies. Wouldn’t you?</p><p> </p><p>“This… is incredible,” Ben exclaimed as they walked through the door. “Scott, your parents are a godsend.”</p><p>Scott laughed quietly, and wheeled his suitcase down one of the large hallways, seeking out his room.</p><p>They ambled out onto the back terrace after they had changed into more appropriate clothing for lounging by the pool, and Leigh was making sure to take advantage of the fact that they had their own bar tender, asking him to make a round of margaritas: ASAP.</p><p>Was it remotely fair that Scott came sauntering out with the cutest little bathing suit that Matt had ever laid eyes on? No, it wasn’t fair at all. It was sinful, actually, considering the length of it. Tiny little swim trunks that sat low on his hips, as if taunting Matt to picture what lay underneath them.</p><p>Scott sat on the edge of the pool, clad in said cute little striped bathing suit and a black and white Hawaiian shirt, with only one button fastened.</p><p>He looked stunning. But that wasn’t surprising.</p><p>Leigh sat next to him and they held up their margarita glasses to one another, clinking them together before sipping.</p><p>“Come in! It feels so nice!” Kirstie yelled from the pool, where Matt was dunking her repeatedly in order to take his mind off of the pretty blond perched on the side.</p><p>“Maybe later,” Scott called back, and Leigh noted that his hands wrapped around his front, just for a moment, in modesty.</p><p>“Or come in the hot tub!” Ben called from behind them. Leigh certainly didn’t miss Scott’s flinch, or Mitch’s suddenly wide eyes.</p><p>“Scott’s not a big fan of hot tubs,” Mitch replied from where he was laying on a giant pool float.</p><p>“That was really dumb of me. Sorry, Scott.” Ben replied, quietly.</p><p> </p><p>An hour later, the boys wanted to take a walk down to the beach, in order to see if there was any good snorkeling off of the shoreline. Leigh and Kirstie simply held up their margaritas when asked if they would like to join, and the men laughed at them. Scott also declined.</p><p>So now Scott, Kirstie, and Leigh had some peace and quiet.</p><p>“I plan on burning to a crisp, just FYI,” Kirstie muttered after a few minutes. “Just like those overcooked hot dogs at 7-11. Yep. That’s my goal. Also, Scott, your tan line is gonna be ridiculous.”</p><p>Scott looked down at his fully clothed self, and determined that it was probably safe to tan along with the girls. He laughed at Kirstie’s comment, and rid himself of the Hawaiian shirt before laying back down.</p><p>“Scott, baby boy, that porcelain skin is doomed to burn a whole lot worse than Kirstie’s will. Want some sunscreen?” Leigh asked, laughing lightly.</p><p>Scott simply shook his head in reply, putting his sunglasses on and leaning back. “I can tan. Can’t burn. One of the few perks of not being human.”</p><p>Leigh laughed, applying her own sunscreen. “I, for one, don’t feel like looking like an overcooked hotdog today, Kirst.”</p><p>They had fallen asleep in the sun shortly after, enjoying the peace and quiet while they could.</p><p> </p><p>“Oh god, look at Kirstie. She’s gonna be so red,” Ben laughed as they unlocked the gate and threw their beach towels down. “Should we wake them?”</p><p>Kevin laughed, eyeing the three sleeping figures. “Maybe get her an umbrella. They look so peaceful.”</p><p>Their peace was interrupted, however, when loud music on the other side of their large fence began to blare.</p><p>Scott woke with a start, sitting up quickly enough to nearly give him whiplash. Matt saw this, and brought him a new drink, sitting on the edge of his lounge chair.</p><p>“The hell is that?” Scott asked, tiredly.</p><p>“Apparently our neighbors are a bunch of frat boys?” Matt asked, laughing.</p><p>“Excellent,” Scott deadpanned, downing the drink that Matt had delivered. Matt watched with wide eyes and a small smile, trying to focus on Scott’s face instead of his naked torso, noting that he was already looking beautifully tanned. “How was the beach?”</p><p>“It was okay. Not a lot of snorkeling here. We’ll have to take an excursion, I think. Looks like some good surfing, though, if you want to try.” Matt laughed when he realized that he was yelling in order to be heard over the music.</p><p>Scott narrowed his eyes and stood up, beelining for the tall barrier while shrugging his shirt back over his shoulders, leaving it unbuttoned.</p><p>He pulled over a bar stool and was standing on it a moment later, as his friends watched with curiosity.</p><p>“’AY!” Scott yelled, and his friends started laughing. “’AY,” he yelled again, and the music was abruptly paused.</p><p>A handsome man around their age, with a pierced septum, popped up on the other side of the fence, facing Scott with a smile. “Hi there! We too loud?”</p><p>Scott was caught off-guard by the handsome face and smile, and had to rethink his delivery.</p><p>“Only if we aren’t invited,” Scott returned, his eyes playfully narrow.</p><p>The man’s face brightened. “Come on over, then!”</p><p> </p><p>Two hours later, the situation was extremely sloppy.</p><p>People were being thrown in the pool, Ben was passed out again, Kevin and Leigh were grinding against one another, and Kirstie was talking to a man that Scott was pretty sure she thought was Ben. He pulled her away by the elbow, shooting the guy a soft smile of apology.</p><p>“This is fun! These people are FUN!” Mitch announced from behind him.</p><p>“So are you!” the man with the pierced septum yelled, embracing the smaller man.</p><p>“Scott! Scott! This is my new friend! This is my new friend Max.” Mitch slurred.</p><p>“Mason,” the man corrected, reaching out his hand to Scott.</p><p>“Right, right. Your <em>boyfriend’s </em>name is Max. HEY, MAX!” Mitch called across the pool to get the man’s attention.</p><p>Mason laughed as Scott shook his hand. “Actually, wrong again. His name is Mark.”</p><p>Scott laughed as Mitch ran after the man whose name is still thought was Max. “Sorry about him. He’s never been good with names.”</p><p>“You’re Scott?” Mason asked, smiling, allowing his eyes to linger on Scott’s chest and stomach. Scott nodded, wishing he could button up his shirt without looking so damn weird. “Nice to meet you. All of you. Where are you guys from?” He was looking back into Scott’s eyes now, which made Scott instantly feel more comfortable.</p><p>“We live in LA.” Scott replied. Mason’s eyes brightened.</p><p>“Get out. Us, too. What part?”</p><p>They fell into an easy conversation, and Scott felt an arm around his shoulders. He tensed up immediately until he realized that the arm belonged to Matt. Matt leaned in close to his ear. “You aren’t drinking just anything, right?” he whispered.</p><p>Scott turned to him, shaking his head. “Good. Here.” Matt held out a drink for him, and Scott took it, appreciatively.</p><p>“Thanks. Matt, this is Mason. Mason, Matt.”</p><p>“Nice to meet you, Matt. Are you this one’s lucky man?”</p><p>Matt’s eyes narrowed for a split second. “Nope. I’m not that lucky.” Matt couldn’t help the smile that crossed his lips when Scott blushed. “Just friends.”</p><p>Mason looked over their shoulders, and gestured for someone to join them. A smaller man was pressed into Mason’s side in the next moment. “This is my boyfriend, Mark. Not Max.” Mason added, laughing. “Mark, this is Scott and Matt.”</p><p>Scott was taken aback by the man’s face. It was handsome, with sharp features and pretty, dark eyes. He was lean and muscular. Scott supposed he was Filipino. They were a beautiful couple.</p><p>“Nice to meet you,” Mark held out his hand and grinned.</p><p> </p><p>For the next week, the two villas had essentially become one giant one. Kevin and Matt felt like they were working overtime to make sure Scott was safe around the new strangers, but so far, no one seemed to be anything to worry about. Scott was hitting it off with Mason and Mark, and there were several girls in the group with whom Leigh and Kirstie enjoyed spending time.</p><p>No one had asked any questions, or seemed to realize that Scott wasn’t human.</p><p>Matt did realize, however, that Scott wasn’t quite as modest as he had been. In fact, finding Scott with a shirt on was becoming less and less likely as the week wore on.</p><p>Not that he minded. But he knew that the show wasn’t meant for him.</p><p> </p><p>Scott couldn’t sleep one night, about halfway through the trip. There had been a small incident earlier in the night that he couldn’t seem to shake from his brain. Mitch’s eyes had changed within an instant, and Scott was caught off guard when he realized that he was being affected. Scott was able to talk him out of it quickly, but more than anything, he felt sorry for Mitch, who was having a hard time wrapping his head around it.</p><p>Scott fell asleep afterwards, fitfully, but he woke up feeling extremely warm. After tossing and turning for what seemed to be all night long, he sighed and carried his blanket outside, sitting on the steps to the beach. His phone lit up next to him.</p><p>
  <b>
    <strong>Dad: I know it’s late there, but I wanted you to wake up to good news: We were able to get a restraining order!</strong>
  </b>
</p><p>He was lost in his own thoughts, and actually may have dozed a bit, when he heard a quiet chuckle and footsteps emerging up the wooden stairs.</p><p>“Look who it is,” Mark whispered happily, as he clutched Mason’s hand. Scott smiled in return, wrapping his blanket more tightly around his shoulders. “What are you doing out here at 3:30am?”</p><p>Scott shrugged. “Couldn’t sleep.”</p><p>Mason sat on one side of him while Mark took the other. They stared out at the waves below for a minute, not feeling the need to fill the silence. “What about you guys?” Scott asked.</p><p>“A little late-night beach walk never hurt anyone,” Mark smiled.</p><p>“And it’s probably for the best that you didn’t decide to do the same thing… you may have come across us in a… compromising situation?” Mason added, winking. Scott smiled as Mark blushed.</p><p>“You guys are cute.” Scott laughed. He felt a pang in his chest, wishing that he could have something like that.</p><p>“Okay, so Mark and I were actually talking about this before.” Mason said after a moment. “Why aren’t <em>you </em>all ‘cute’ with anyone?”</p><p>Scott remained silent for a moment, willing away the goosebumps that formed on his skin with the realization that they had been discussing him at all. “I don’t know. Haven’t found the right one, I guess.”</p><p>“Guy? Girl?” Mark asked, leaning back and propping himself up on his hands.</p><p>“No preference.”</p><p>“I knew it,” Mason smiled. Scott laughed.</p><p>“Knew what?”</p><p>“You’re pan.”</p><p>Scott nodded.</p><p>“Because you’re a sécor.”</p><p>Scott froze. He could feel his heartbeat in his throat. Should he run? They wouldn’t… would they…?</p><p>Mark placed a hand on Scott’s shoulder, and Scott almost flew out into space, jumping with surprise.</p><p>“Whoa, sorry. Hey.” Mark said softly, removing his hand quickly. “Didn’t mean to scare you. Neither of us did.”</p><p>“Scott, I can feel your heart beating through your shoulder,” Mason added, pressing his own shoulder to the blond’s for emphasis. “We wouldn’t hurt you. But you can go back inside if you are uncomfortable.”</p><p>Scott remained seated, and the couple took that as a good sign.</p><p>“You want to know what else we were talking about?” Mason asked. Scott’s silence urged him to continue. “You know what would make the most sense for a sécor? Polyamory.”</p><p>Scott raised an eyebrow. “Hear me out, okay?” Mason asked, chuckling. “Being with a sécor is… tough sometimes, right?” Scott was suddenly feeling offended. “What if you get affected? What if you end up hurting them? Well… if there are two of you, loving that same sécor… you can keep each other in check. Right? And being affected is less likely if you aren’t alone.”</p><p>
  <em>How does he know this much about sécors?</em>
</p><p>“I had a friend in middle school. He was a sécor,” Mason added, answering Scott’s unspoken question.</p><p>“What happened to him?” Scott asked, ignoring the rest of Mason’s speech.</p><p>“He… he died. When we were in high school.”</p><p>“Suicide?”</p><p>Mason shook his head.</p><p>“He was jumped in the back of the school… attacked. They… they killed him…”</p><p>Scott felt his eyes well with tears. He pulled his knees to his chest and looked out at the water, trying to compose himself. “I’m sorry to hear that.”</p><p>Mason shrugged. “Seeing a sécor like you, living your life, supported and happy? That makes me feel better, somehow.” Mason looked down. “But… yeah. Think about what I said, okay? Because… think of how much love you can have.” Mason looked into his eyes in that moment.</p><p>“…What?”</p><p>
  <em>Are they asking me to be with them?</em>
</p><p>Mark placed his hand back on his shoulder, and he willed himself not to flinch again. “We’re pretty good at this whole love thing,” he added, softly. “And I think we can do a great job at making you feel as loved as you need to be.”</p><p>Mark’s eyes were vulnerable and honest. Scott couldn’t be hearing them correctly. There was no way that they were… inviting him… to be a… throuple?</p><p>“Think about it. We’re here for five more days,” Mason added, winking. He stood then, and reached for Mark’s hand. He grabbed it, and they walked back into their villa without a further word.</p><p>
  <em>What the hell just happened, and why do I want it?</em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0046"><h2>46. Age Twenty-Four, Part V</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Erm... well... let's just say, I have nothing against Mason. Heh... donthatemekaythanks! (I'm so sorry)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“So… how would this work?” Scott found himself asking, after knocking on Mason and Mark’s door, two nights later.</p><p>Mason smiled at him softly, and offered his hand. Scott eyed the outstretched palm, but crossed his arms across his chest. Mason smiled understandingly and returned the hand to his side.</p><p>“You would date both of us. We would all be together.” Mason replied as Mark approached the door as well, with a hopeful smile.</p><p>“If you want a random threesome, I’m not your guy,” Scott countered. Mason shook his head slowly.</p><p>“We are plenty satisfied in our relationship, Scott. Especially sexually.”</p><p>“Then why are you even offering this?” Scott argued.</p><p>“Because both of us felt something for you. And we think you felt the same.” Mark replied.</p><p>“Would you like to come in?” Mason asked, gesturing into their bedroom. Scott shifted on his feet, awkwardly.</p><p>He really, <em>really </em>wanted to come in.</p><p>And even if they just wanted a threesome, Scott supposed that he didn’t hate that idea, either.</p><p>So Scott brushed past Mason and allowed Mark to lead him to the edge of the bed. Mason sat on his other side, and they remained silent.</p><p>It was Mark who made the first move. He reached up to cup Scott’s cheek, looking into his eyes.</p><p>“I’m so mesmerized by you,” Mark whispered, rubbing his thumb along Scott’s jawline.</p><p>Scott felt arms wrap around him from behind, and his muscles instantly tensed throughout his body. He found himself relaxing into the loose embrace a moment later, when he realized that he could break free from it if necessary.</p><p>The arms felt good. He could stay in that embrace for a while, Scott supposed.</p><p>“The rule would simply be that we wouldn’t… do anything with one another… unless all three of us are present. Kissing, cuddling… that’s okay. But anything further wouldn’t be fair. Good rule?” Mason asked after a few minutes of simply holding him, while Mark ran his fingers along his throat and cheeks, which felt strangely intimate.</p><p>Scott found himself mirroring Mark’s nod, unable to fathom the fact that he was agreeing to this at all.</p><p>His friends were going to kill him.</p><p>“I would… love to touch you,” Mark whispered, and Mason leaned back against the headboard with Scott pressed against his front, exposing more of Scott’s clothed body for Mark to run his hands along.</p><p>“And I… would love to kiss you…” Mason whispered, and Scott was instantly turned on by the attention from both of them.</p><p>Scott leaned his head back, tilting upwards, so Mason could meet his lips with his own. The kiss was slow and breathy. Scott’s body began to tingle as he felt Mark hover over him, lifting his shirt and placing kisses along his stomach.</p><p>This was moving awfully fast, Scott supposed. But he couldn’t bring himself to care, as Mark hiked up his shirt further and sucked on his nipple.</p><p>Scott moaned into Mason’s mouth, and instantly felt Mason’s erection against his back.</p><p>Scott could certainly get used to this.</p><p>Scott felt his clothing being peeled off at a painfully slow pace, and reveled in the fact that he was now pressed against the mattress with two gorgeous men staring down at him.</p><p>Mark leaned forward, kissing him slowly and sweetly. He pulled away, whispering in Scott’s ear. “Would love to feel this inside of me,” he whispered, palming Scott’s hard cock.</p><p>The thought of someone wanting him to fuck <em>them </em>for a change, that turned Scott on even more.</p><p>“While I’m inside of <em>you,” </em>Mason added, his voice gravelly with lust.</p><p>Scott reached up to grab Mason’s length, but Mason grabbed his wrists and pressed them to the mattress. “How about you let us take care of you?” He nodded at Mark, who wordlessly lay on his back next to Scott. Scott shifted to hover over Mark’s smaller frame, leaning down to kiss him with more passion this time.</p><p>Scott groaned as he felt himself being opened up, and reached for the lube that was held out towards him, coating his own fingers.</p><p>Mark made some sinful noises upon Scott’s entry, and it was only then that Scott realized why people found themselves getting lost in the noises he himself would make.</p><p>He watched as Mark writhed below him with pleasure, and withdrew his fingers, lining himself up and plunging into him.</p><p>Mark gripped his shoulders and he felt Mason’s fingers withdraw, only to be replaced with a thickness a moment later.</p><p>Mason fucked him, sending him forward into Mark. They found a rhythm this way, and it was unlike Scott had ever felt before.</p><p>He felt Mason’s lips on his shoulders and neck, and his hands on his hips, guiding him into the man below him.</p><p>After a few minutes, he felt his orgasm creeping up on him, and he wished that he could last longer. Mason grunted and released into him, however, which sent him over the edge.</p><p>He thrusted into Mark a few more times, cursing under his breath as he finished inside of him, which in turn caused Mark to erupt all over their chests and stomachs.</p><p>Mason guided Scott by the hips to withdraw from Mark, and laid him on his back. Then he placed kisses along Scott’s stomach and chest, using his skilled mouth to clean up Mark’s mess at the same time.</p><p>Scott could get used to this, and judging by the looks on the other two men’s faces… so could they.</p><p> </p><p>He hadn’t meant to fall asleep wrapped in their arms. That much was certain.</p><p>So, when Kevin was knocking frantically the next morning, Scott bounded off the bed, muttering a slew of profanities as he grabbed his clothing.</p><p>Mason and Mark dressed more casually, laughing as they watched Scott panic.</p><p>Scott glanced behind him to make sure everybody was decent before he opened the door to reveal a pained expression on Kevin’s face.</p><p>“Sorry,” Scott cringed, feeling horribly for making Kevin worry. “I fell asleep.” He rubbed the back of his neck, bashfully, as Kevin launched himself at him, wrapping him in a tight hug.</p><p>“Don’t you ever disappear in the middle of the night again. Understood?” Kevin muttered into Scott’s neck. Scott nodded, the guilt overwhelming him.</p><p>“Sorry, Kev. I am.”</p><p>Mark and Mason watched with fond expressions, noting how caring Kevin was. Mason approached first. “Sorry about that, Kev. Our fault.”</p><p>Kevin couldn’t fight the glare that he shot them in that moment, but frowned upon seeing Mark reach for Scott’s hand, interlocking their fingers. “What’s going on?”</p><p>“It’s a long story…” Scott began, suddenly unable to maintain eye contact. Kevin narrowed his eyes, not liking where this was going.</p><p>“What were you doing in here, Scott?”</p><p>“You probably don’t want the details,” Mason said, attempting a joke, but grimacing as soon as he realized that it didn’t land. Kevin actually <em>growled, </em>and pulled Scott behind him, shielding him from the two men.</p><p>“Kev, no, it’s okay.” Scott said meekly.</p><p>“It’s okay, it’s okay,” Mark offered, raising his palms up in defeat. “He’s our boyfriend, after all.”</p><p>“Your… your what?” Kevin asked, whipping around to face Scott. “Both of them?”</p><p>“It actually kind of… makes a lot of sense? If you think about it?” Scott asked, desperately. He felt like a kid bringing home a boyfriend for the first time.</p><p>“How the hell does increasing your risk of being <em>overpowered </em>make sense?”</p><p>“We wouldn’t overpower him, because it would be unlikely that both of us would be affected at the same time.”</p><p>Kevin paused, eyeing the two men, as though mulling over whether he felt that this made sense.</p><p>“True…”</p><p>“Sort of a self-correction in place. So he’ll actually be very safe.”</p><p>Kevin spun to look at Scott again. “And you want this? You want them?”</p><p>Scott blushed, looking at the floor, and nodded.</p><p>“If you hurt him, either of you… I’ll kill both of you myself.”</p><p>“Understood,” Mason replied.</p><p> </p><p>As difficult as it was for Scott’s friends to wrap their heads around this being even remotely a good idea, Mitch and Matt were having the hardest time of all.</p><p>“You just… you just let it happen?” Matt asked, staring at Kevin, dumbfounded. “He could be killed…”</p><p>Kevin shook his head. “They have a point. It actually kind of makes sense.”</p><p>“I MAKE SENSE.” Matt replied, agitatedly. “I can take such good care of him. You know I can. I could give him <em>everything.” </em>Matt looked pathetic, his lip quivering and his eyes wide with tears. “Nobody takes care of him like I do. During seizures? After them? No one.” His voice was shaking. “I could take such good care of him…” he repeated, softly this time, while clenching his eyes shut. Kevin embraced his friend, unable to fathom how hard this must be for him.</p><p>“Yes… yes you do make sense. So does Mitch. I know. I know this is hard. It would be hard to see him with anyone, but Matt, I can’t see Scott wanting to risk his friendship with either of you to try to be something more, and he deserves to be happy. Let’s give it a chance, yeah?”</p><p>So Matt listened, and he died a little bit inside each time Scott strutted around the pool deck in those <em>stupid</em> little bathing suits, and allowed Mason to wrap his <em>stupid</em> arms around his body like some sort of leech, and allowed Mark to kiss his <em>stupid</em> lips.</p><p><em>Scott’s stupid. So fucking stupid. Everything about him is stupid, </em>Matt repeated like a mantra in his mind.</p><p>When they returned to LA, Mark and Mason were around often. It broke Mitch’s heart each and every time he came home to find Scott intertwined with them. So he simply avoided the blond as much as possible.</p><p>They released a new video in June, which was extremely successful. The most successful yet, in fact.</p><p>So they started to perform at local venues, to make a little bit of money. Their fan base was growing like wildfire. It was all actually going quite well.</p><p>You know, other than the fact that Mark and Mason seemed to always be there. Always. For the past eight painful months, to be exact.</p><p>But Scott was more confident, happier… more himself. Mitch’s heart panged knowing that it wasn’t because of him, but because of these two barnacles, instead.</p><p>Mitch and Matt would watch with narrowed eyes, ready to judge Mark and Mason for doing anything wrong at all. When Scott would have a seizure, they would watch as Mark and Mason would handle it perfectly. They each felt guilty for being annoyed by that.</p><p> </p><p>Scott awoke in the middle of the night, positioned in his place in between his two boyfriends, to the feeling of his sweatpants being pulled down to rest on the back of his thighs, exposing his ass to the man behind him. Lips were attached to his neck and fingers entered him, gently.</p><p>“Need you.” Mason whispered. “That okay?”</p><p>Scott was silent for a moment, wondering if Mason was affected. Should he wake Mark? But when he searched for the other man, he noted that Mark’s eyes were already open, looking back at him, calmly.</p><p>“It’s okay…” Scott whispered, and a third finger entered him, spreading him.</p><p>Mark kissed his lips gently, as if grounding him, as Mason entered him with one fluid motion, eliciting a moan from Scott.</p><p>“I can touch you, if you want?” Mark asked, his tone comforting during an otherwise-slightly scary situation.</p><p>“Just… kiss me?” Scott asked quietly, as Mason grunted against his ear, fucking him a bit too harshly and causing Scott to whimper.</p><p>Mark complied, kissing him slowly and sensually. Scott found himself being turned on by the feeling of his lips, and grinded backwards against Mason.</p><p>“So fucking good,” Mason groaned, rubbing Scott’s body and sucking on his earlobe as he continued to ram into him. He twitched against Scott’s back as he finished, gripping Scott’s hips tightly.</p><p>He withdrew and flipped over, falling back asleep.</p><p>“Are you okay?” Mark asked gently, and Scott wondered why he was asking, until he realized that a few tears had escaped his eyes.</p><p>Scott nodded, and Mark placed a soft kiss on his forehead. They fell asleep face-to-face, with their fingers intertwined.</p><p> </p><p>A week later, the three of them were sprawled in bed after having a date night. Mason ripped Scott’s clothing off in record time, and Scott lay between his boyfriends, who were still fully clothed.</p><p>Mark, as though he could sense Scott’s apprehension, removed his clothing quickly as well. Mason watched for a moment, and followed suit.</p><p>He approached Scott on the bed, looming over his body where he lay on his back. He grabbed a bottle of lube, slicked himself up, and entered Scott without preparing him. Mark hissed.</p><p>“Mase, be nice.”</p><p>“Fuck nice,” Mason replied with his eyes closed, enjoying Scott’s tightness. “Suck him, Scotty.”</p><p>Mason looked into Scott’s eyes, and Scott knew he wasn’t affected. Scott allowed himself to get into this then, knowing that rough didn’t necessarily mean a bad thing.</p><p>So Scott turned his head to the right, and Mark moved close enough for Scott to take him in his mouth, sucking him off diligently.</p><p>“Good boy,” Mason cooed. Scott’s dick pulsed at the compliment.</p><p>Mason finished inside of him a few minutes later, and Mark shot down his throat shortly after that, leaving Scott painfully hard where he lay on his back.</p><p>Mason leaned up against the headboard and took Scott’s body in his arms, resting the sécor’s back against Mason’s chest. He ran his hands up and down Scott’s stomach and chest, twisting his nipples and nipping his neck. “Suck him, Mark. Make him feel good.”</p><p>Mark crawled between Scott’s legs and took him in his mouth. Scott groaned at the feeling, his back arching slightly. “Good boy… feels good, doesn’t it?” Mason whispered against his neck, twisting his nipples again.</p><p>Scott began to pant as his orgasm crept closer. He finished down Mark’s throat, and Mark crawled up the bed.</p><p>“Let me kiss you,” Mason ordered, reaching for Mark’s face, observing the small drip of Scott’s cum leaking out the side of Mark’s lips. Mason kissed him for a moment, and sucked on his messy lips.</p><p>“Fuck, Scotty, you taste good,” Mason moaned, giving Scott’s body a squeeze. “I want to try.”</p><p>Before Scott could protest, Mason had abandoned his place behind Scott, ordering Mark to take the place instead. Mark eyed him cautiously, but complied, wrapping his arms tightly around Scott’s torso. The feeling of his arms was comforting, but Scott began to panic when Mason crawled between his legs.</p><p>“Sensitive,” Scott whimpered, as Mason took his soft cock in his mouth. Scott moaned, painfully.</p><p>“Maybe let him rest for a bit, Mase,” Mark offered, gently. Mason shook his head, taking Scott in his mouth again.</p><p>“Get hard for me, baby. Come on, be good.” Mason muttered.</p><p>Mark leaned forward and whispered in Scott’s ear. “You look so beautiful like this, baby. Love your pretty body. Love your muscles, how your hands grip the sheets. Loved how you felt in my mouth. Just wanted to drink up every ounce of you.”</p><p>Scott felt himself harden in Mason’s mouth.</p><p>It seemed to take hours, but then he was panting again.</p><p>“Come undone for me, baby. Let me see you cum. So beautiful when you do,” Mark whispered, rubbing his chest, soothingly.</p><p>Scott exploded down Mason’s throat, and groaned when Mason sucked on him harder, milking his cock for as much of the liquid as possible.</p><p>“Mase, come on,” Mark whispered, pleading.</p><p>Mason crawled back up the bed, smiling. “Good boy,” he whispered, capturing Scott’s lips with his own.</p><p>Scott tried desperately to ignore the fact that Mason was becoming accustomed to praising him as though he were an animal, just the way his last master had.</p><p> </p><p>“So, how’s it going with you guys?” Kevin asked Mason the next day at the gym. Scott and Mark hadn’t joined them like they usually did.</p><p>Mason smiled sweetly. “Never better. I love them both so much it hurts. And our plan really is working. I was affected twice… and Mark pulled me right out of it. Like clockwork. Scott wasn’t in any danger at all.”</p><p>“That’s good,” Kevin replied, smiling. “No one is feeling left out?”</p><p>Mason shook his head, smirking. “Plenty of love to go around.”</p><p>Kevin laughed, packing up his bag, and walking out of the gym with one of his new best friends, happy that Scott had found two people who made him feel the love that he deserved.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0047"><h2>47. Age Twenty-Five, Part I</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Not really too sorry about this cliffhanger. What is wrong with me? D:</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Matt had never hated sharing a wall with Scott’s room in his years of knowing the blond. But now, he hated it so much he could scream.</p><p>It was one thing, to have to listen to the person you love have sex with someone else. It was a whole other story, however, to have to listen to it almost on a nightly basis, and worse even, to know that they were having sex with not one, but two other people, each night, for nearly a year.</p><p>Ear plugs were a good invention, at least.</p><p> </p><p>The nights during which Scott woke up to Mason within him were becoming more frequent. At least he had Mark grounding him with his soft kisses and touches. And Mason was his boyfriend, so he should be allowed to have Scott whenever he wanted.</p><p>Right?</p><p>But one night, he woke up to soft moans and grunts, and noted that he was untouched. The bed creaked softly, and Scott’s eyes focused on the sight of Mason fucking Mark gently.</p><p>No. He was making love to him.</p><p>He heard whispers of “I love you,” and noted how gentle and beautifully they moved together.</p><p>Scott wasn’t sure why he was crying, until the next night, when Scott had to bite on his pillow to prevent himself from screaming as Mason rammed into him from behind.</p><p>He wondered if this was upping his count. He was pretty sure he knew the answer.</p><p> </p><p>On Scott’s 25<sup>th</sup> birthday, Scott hoped, for some reason, that he could have the night off.</p><p>That wasn’t the case, however, and Mark kissed him gently and lovingly, as Mason crept up towards them on the bed, removing Scott’s clothing only.</p><p>“I have a present for you, baby,” Mason cooed in his ear, and pulled him away from Mark, laying him on his back on the bed before disappearing for a moment. Scott looked to Mark for answers, but Mark looked just as confused as he felt.</p><p>Scott heard a low vibration, and almost cried.</p><p>Mason crawled back up his body, clutching a vibrating dildo in his hands. “Gonna take such good care of our baby tonight, aren’t we, Marky?”</p><p>“No… no, that’s okay,” Scott nearly whimpered, trying to sit up. Mason pushed him back down on his back.</p><p>Scott thought back to the exact conversation he had had with Mark and Mason, during which he had explicitly stated that this was not an option. He had told them why. All three of them had cried. It was an emotional night. Apparently, Mason didn’t remember it.</p><p>“Mase, he doesn’t want it.” Mark muttered, his eyes widening slightly. “I’ll take it.” He reached for it, his eyes pleading with his boyfriend. Scott noted that they were still both fully clothed.</p><p>“We have to change Scotty’s opinion of these toys. He has to see how good they can be. Let’s help him, let’s make him feel good.” Mason replied, turning the vibrator on and looming towards Scott again.</p><p>“Mase, please, no.” Scott replied, his voice sounding stern, other than the small break in it as he fought back tears.</p><p>Scott bit down on his hand again as the vibrator entered him, pulsating against his prostate.</p><p>Scott tried desperately not to cry, but he was too weak, he supposed, and the tears flowed freely from his eyes as he thought of being edged, over and over, in his master’s basement.</p><p>Mason sucked him dry as his orgasm took over against his will.</p><p>Mark watched cautiously as Scott fell into a fitful sleep afterwards.</p><p> </p><p>Scott approached his boyfriends on the back patio early the next morning. He had to have a serious talk with them; with Mason, in particular.</p><p>He stopped when he heard their hushed conversation.</p><p>“I want out,” Mark muttered.</p><p>“What? Why?” Mason asked, his tone nearly frantic.</p><p>“I think it should just be us again. I miss it just being us.”</p><p>“You don’t want Scott anymore? Is it because I gave him all of my attention last night? It was his birthday, Marky.”</p><p>“It’s not that. I just liked it better when it was just us.”</p><p>“You know you’re my favorite.”</p><p>“Good, so pick me,” Mark challenged.</p><p>“Let’s try it for another week? You can take the lead… have him however you want.” Mason urged.</p><p>Scott watched as Mark’s shoulders slumped, and he nodded, softly.</p><p>Scott returned to bed, and cried himself back to sleep, wondering when this had gone so wrong.</p><p> </p><p>Mason was back at the gym with Kevin that afternoon, leaving Scott and Mark in an empty house. This was a rarity in a house full of so many roommates.</p><p>“Hey, babe,” Mark greeted lightly as he entered the kitchen, wrapping an arm around Scott’s middle and planting a kiss on his cheek. He frowned when Scott’s tense muscles met his arm. “What’s wrong?”</p><p>“Why are you here?” Scott asked, coldly.</p><p>“Didn’t feel like going to the gym, I guess,” Mark shrugged.</p><p>“That’s not what I meant.”</p><p>“What did you mean?”</p><p>Scott sighed. Mark was the one with whom Scott felt the closest. The one for whom he felt pangs of love. The one who truly meant something to him. To know that he didn’t want him anymore was excruciating.</p><p>“I <em>meant</em>, why are you still here in my house?” Scott asked, his tone dripping with anger.</p><p>“Because… because I’m yours? And… you’re mine?” Mark asked, raising an eyebrow. “I think…?”</p><p>“I heard you this morning,” Scott muttered, cleaning some dishes to distract himself from the conversation, in an effort not to cry.</p><p>“Heard me… what? Wait… when?” Mark asked as realization of what Scott meant sank in. “Scott, let me explain.”</p><p>“You don’t need to. You can show yourself out,” Scott replied, refusing to look at him.</p><p>“Mason is scaring me,” Mark whispered. Scott froze in place, and finally looked at his boyfriend. Mark crossed the floor and took Scott’s hand. “Mason isn’t treating you well and it’s scaring me, okay?”</p><p>“So you want to leave me?” Scott asked, noting that his own voice sounded utterly pathetic.</p><p>“I don’t. I don’t ever want to leave you. I love you,” Mark whispered.</p><p>They had never said those words to one another. Scott felt his pulse quicken.</p><p>“But, Scott… I can’t watch him hurt you. I can’t do that. I would rather let you go than watch that. Please understand… please.”</p><p>“I don’t want to lose you,” Scott whispered, feeling his lip quiver. Mark grabbed his face in his hands and placed their foreheads together.</p><p>“It might kill me, but watching him hurt you further would only kill me faster, Scotty. But I’m gonna have a conversation with him about it, and we’ll see if it improves. Okay?”</p><p>Scott nodded.</p><p>They fell asleep on the couch shortly after, with Mark’s head in Scott’s lap.</p><p> </p><p>Kevin dropped Mason off before pulling away again, citing a need to run errands.</p><p>When Mason entered the house, he didn’t like what he saw.</p><p>“What the fuck?” Scott heard as he was startled awake. He looked down at Mark, who was blinking awake as well. “What, did you fall asleep sucking him off?” Scott squinted at the larger of his two boyfriends, trying to understand. He and Mark were both fully clothed.</p><p>“You were asleep on his dick, Mark. That’s not how the rules work.” They watched as Mason took a deep breath, calming himself down. “Scott, come here, we need to chat.”</p><p>Scott shot a look towards Mark before following.</p><p>As soon as Mark heard Scott’s bedroom door lock behind them, he surged forward, pressing his ear against the door, a feeling of dread pulsating through him.</p><p>“You won’t fucking steal him from me. You understand?”</p><p>“Mase, it was a misunder-“</p><p>
  <em>Slap.</em>
</p><p>Mark hissed, and pounded on the door.</p><p>He stopped to listen after a moment. He heard the bed creak, another slap, and a groan from Scott.</p><p>“You’re such a stupid fucking <em>slut. </em>Why did I ever think this was a good idea? Oh yeah, because you’re a fantastic <em>fuck.” </em>Mason nearly yelled.</p><p>Mark listened in horror as he heard Scott’s small pleas and protests. His heart shattered. He thought about the fact that they were alone in the house right now. He wished anyone else was here, anyone at all.</p><p>He heard Mason grunting, and he became nauseous when he realized that Scott was being raped.</p><p>But then he heard a loud, rhythmic <em>bang, </em>like something heavy hitting the wall. He heard it several more times, in a rhythmic pattern.</p><p>“You… stupid… slut…” Mason’s voice rang out in between the sound. “I’ll… fucking… destroy… you… yeah, like that? You like that, slut?”</p><p>Mark strained to hear Scott. But Scott was silent. Mark thought he might pass out from worry.</p><p>Then, Mason was laughing.</p><p>Kevin entered the house with two hands full of groceries right as Matt arrived home as well. He handed one over to Matt, grateful for help, and they froze as they heard a yell from upstairs.</p><p>“MASON, PLEASE!”</p><p>They stared at each other for another split second before dropping the bags and bounding up the stairs after Mark’s frantic voice.</p><p>“What’s wrong?” Kevin nearly yelled as they reached the top of the stairs to find Mark pounding on the door with tears streaming down his face.</p><p>“Mason’s gonna kill him…” Mark panted, falling apart in front of them. “Please… please help him.” He finished, banging softly on the door with his last bit of energy.</p><p>Kevin wasn’t sure if it was his adrenaline or sheer anger, but Scott’s door came off of the hinges upon Kevin’s first attempt to burst through. Matt and Kevin stood in the threshold, their eyes locating a lifeless Scott…</p><p>With Mason inside of him.</p><p>His blond hair was turning crimson from an abnormal amount of blood.</p><p>Matt crossed the floor and tackled Mason to the ground, punching him in the face three times before realizing the most horrific part of all of this.</p><p>Mason’s eyes were normal. He wasn’t affected.</p><p>“Get the fuck out of my house.” Matt growled, his eyes filling with tears of rage.</p><p>Mason laughed, earning him another punch to the face.</p><p>Matt stood and pulled the man to his feet, throwing him towards the door while Kevin covered Scott’s lower half with a blanket and began inspecting his head.</p><p>There was blood on the headboard, Mark noted from his place in the doorway. The banging sound had been Scott’s head colliding with the wooden frame over and over again.</p><p>“Get the fuck out. Both of you.” Matt seethed, running towards the door as if chasing them out.</p><p>“Matt…” Mark replied, desperately.</p><p>Matt held up a hand. “Get… the fuck out.”</p><p>Mark let out a sob as Mason grabbed his hand, kissing him on the cheek. “You got what you wanted baby. Just you and me.”</p><p>“Call an ambulance,” Kevin muttered, pressing on a gash on the top of Scott’s head, right along his hairline. “Hurry.”</p><p>Matt complied with shaky hands.</p><p> </p><p>They were seated in the waiting room of a hospital an hour later. Leigh burst through the door, startling them out of their dazes.</p><p>“Is he okay? What happened?” She asked, sounding shaky.</p><p>Kirstie and Ben burst through the door next, repeating the same questions, and lastly, Mitch entered the room, looking like an actual ghost.</p><p>“This won’t be good for his seizures. I’m calling it now.” Kevin muttered, looking down at his phone.</p><p>“Was he… affected? I still don’t understand,” Leigh asked.</p><p>“No. He wasn’t. That’s the scary part.” Matt replied, rubbing his eyes, wondering how long Mason had been hurting him.</p><p>
  <b>
    <strong>Mark Manio: Is he alright? Please, Matt.</strong>
  </b>
</p><p>Matt opened the text and narrowed his eyes.</p><p>
  <b>
    <strong>Mark Manio: I had nothing to do with this. Please, you have to believe me. I would never hurt him.</strong>
  </b>
</p><p>Matt deleted the messages, but another came in.</p><p>
  <b>
    <strong>Mark Manio: Just… watch his count, okay? I’m not sure what it is at this point.</strong>
  </b>
</p><p>Matt’s heart stopped. What did Mark mean?</p><p>He left the waiting room silently, dialing Mark’s number. It rang only twice before his voice answered, sounding like he had just finished crying.</p><p>“Hi,” Mark nearly whispered.</p><p>“Are you with Mason?” Matt asked, ignoring the greeting.</p><p>“No,” Mark replied.</p><p>“What did you mean, watch his count?”</p><p>There was silence on the other end of the line for a minute.</p><p>“I meant… I’m not sure if this was the first time that Mason upped his count.”</p><p>Matt felt nauseous. “How many times do you think…?”</p><p>“I don’t know. It depends on what counts…” Mark replied, sounding scared.</p><p>“Anything against Scott’s will.”</p><p>“What about if Scott convinces himself it’s okay?”</p><p>“Still counts. His body knows it isn’t.”</p><p>“Then… then it’s high, I think. Matt, we were together for almost a year.”</p><p>“For God’s sake, Mark, how high?”</p><p>He heard Mark take a gulp of air. “Over 100. Way over. He would… he would… while Scott was sleeping…”</p><p>“Mark?”</p><p>“Yeah, Matt?” Mark responded, sounding desperate.</p><p>“Delete my phone number. Now.”</p><p>Matt hung up, feeling like his world might be ending.</p><p> </p><p>Kevin punched the back of his chair when Matt relayed the information.</p><p>The fact that they had no concept of Scott’s count was utterly terrifying.</p><p>He realized that he was mad at Scott. How could he have allowed someone to do this to him over one hundred times?</p><p>“Hi there,” a kind looking doctor greeted as he entered the waiting room. “Does Mr. Hoying have any family here?”</p><p>“I’m family,” Ben greeted, standing up and extending his hand for the doctor to shake. “Cousin,” he lied.</p><p>Ben followed the doctor down the hallway, and emerged a few minutes later, looking like he might actually die.</p><p>“What is it?” Kirstie asked, her eyes welling with tears. “Brain damage?”</p><p>Ben shook his head. “His head… his head is okay…”</p><p>“Then what?” Mitch asked, frantically.</p><p>“He… he’s breaking.”</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0048"><h2>48. Age Twenty-Five, Part II</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Ugh, I'm only working one day this week, which happens to be today, and I can't get myself together enough to do anything productive. HALP.</p><p>This one is a bit of an emotional rollercoaster... so... uh... sorry...</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“What do we do?” Mitch asked that evening, pacing back and forth in front of all of them. Scott was dozing on the living room couch, his silver strip of hair taunting them.</p><p>“Jeremiah. Let’s call Jeremiah. He was never affected, right?” Kevin asked, desperation rendering his voice shaky. He looked around at his friends, all of whom were unable to help this time around.</p><p>Mitch was dialing the old number before anyone could answer, and left the room to speak to their old acquaintance.</p><p>He returned five minutes later. “He doesn’t think he’s ever been affected… and he lives an hour away…” the group looked hopefully at him. “But he’s in New York right now for a modeling gig. He won’t be able to get back until the day after tomorrow.”</p><p>“So we let him break slowly until then? Who else?” Kirstie asked.</p><p>No one could think of a single answer for her. So, they decided to wait.</p><p>Scott had three seizures the following day. Mitch clutched him to his chest for all of them, and didn’t even care anymore that he cried like a baby each time.</p><p>He just wanted Scott to be okay.</p><p>He wasn’t ready to lose him. Not yet.</p><p> </p><p>“Can we… record a song? It’s almost the holidays, and I have an idea,” Scott asked softly, the day before Jeremiah was scheduled to arrive.</p><p>The group found themselves smiling, despite the horror that they were all facing.</p><p>That morning, they arranged and recorded their favorite song yet: Hallelujah.</p><p>Scott recorded his final chorus as the rest of them watched in awe.</p><p>He was singing differently.</p><p>He was singing as though he was afraid he would never sing again.</p><p>They walked out into the desert scape that Wednesday morning. Scott had convinced them that they shouldn’t wait. He wanted to record the video as soon as possible.</p><p>So here they were, marching through the desert, lip syncing to a song that they all felt in their bones, and trying desperately not to cry through it.</p><p>It turned out stunningly. Poetically so.</p><p>And Scott looked more beautiful than ever before, somehow. Mitch was convinced of that fact.</p><p> </p><p>The doorbell rang on Wednesday evening. Kevin detangled himself from the tangle of limbs where they all lay intertwined on the couch after Scott’s last seizure, eager to get this over with.</p><p>It wasn’t Jeremiah. It was Chris and Niall.</p><p>“What are you doing here?” Kevin asked, smiling despite himself. He clutched them each, and then realization hit.</p><p>“Where’s Jesse?”</p><p>Chris simply shook his head. “Um… where’s Scott?” Chris asked, his voice breaking. Kevin watched as tears glimmered in his eyes at the mention of their other friend, and he pushed past.</p><p>Niall shifted on his feet for a minute. “He… he lasted so long… almost a year, being broken. We were so proud,” he whispered. “But it got him. It finally got him. And now Chris is even more freaked out by Scott’s situation… we should have called. I’m sorry.”</p><p>“Don’t be ridiculous. Come in.” Kevin replied, guiding Niall into the house by his arm.</p><p>When they entered the living room, Chris was already finished greeting each of them and had already entangled himself with Scott on the couch, clutching the sleeping figure to his chest. He pulled Scott’s hair back a bit, examining the stitches on his hairline.</p><p>“Son of a bitch,” he seethed. “When is this guy getting here? His hair is nearly half silver.”</p><p>“He got the first flight back from New York that he could.” Kevin replied.</p><p>Chris gestured to himself and to Niall. “How did we beat him, then?”</p><p>As if on cue, there was a knock on the door. Scott was startled awake at the sound, and his eyes widened in surprised when he realized who was holding him.</p><p>“You’re here?” Scott asked, his voice groggy.</p><p>“Good detective skills, Scotty.” Chris joked softly. He didn’t have the heart to break the news about Jesse right now.</p><p>Chris’ eyes narrowed when the tall, dark and handsome man entered the room. Chris squeezed Scott a bit more tightly to his chest, protectively.</p><p>Handing him over to this man was going to be difficult.</p><p>He watched as the man embraced each of Scott’s roommates, and as he shook hands with Leigh and Niall. He fought back a growl as Jeremiah turned to face them last, his eyes falling on Scott in Chris’ arms.</p><p>“Hey, Scott. I missed you.”</p><p>Scott shifted and Chris begrudgingly let him go. Scott shakily rose to his feet and hugged the man, who rivaled Chris in size.</p><p><em>Not ideal</em>, Chris thought.</p><p> </p><p>They sat in the living room, silently. After giving Jeremiah an explanation of each and every rule, nuance, <em>everything </em>necessary, Jeremiah had led Scott up the stairs roughly 45 minutes ago.</p><p>“What the hell is taking so long?” Chris groaned, breaking the silence.</p><p>“Jeremiah’s a good guy. We wouldn’t have called him if we were worried,” Kirstie argued, quietly.</p><p>“Sorry that took… longer.” Jeremiah’s voice interrupted from the doorway. Chris and Kevin bounded to their feet, staring the newcomer down. “He had some sort of seizure when we got up there. One of those absent ones. So, it took him a minute to come back to me.”</p><p>“Please tell me he was awake…” Chris warned, his voice low and threatening.</p><p>“Of course he was,” Jeremiah snapped back. “I followed your guidelines to the T. Anyway, he asked if he could stay up there and sleep. So… here I am. Do you mind if I stay, to see if it worked?”</p><p>The group nodded, and he flopped on the couch next to Kirstie.</p><p>“I missed you all. What’s it been? Five years? Fill me in.”</p><p>They fell into a slightly uncomfortable conversation in order to distract themselves after that, and Matt snuck off to keep an eye on Scott as he slept.</p><p>He lay in the bed next to the blond, watching with teary eyes, afraid to touch him. He was sleeping too soundly. Matt recalled the previous two times. The agony had been excruciating. Why wasn’t it, this time?</p><p>He could have sworn he saw the silver streak spread within his hair, but he blinked, and couldn’t tell anymore.</p><p> </p><p>Scott awoke the next morning to find nine pairs of eyes looking down at him. Some were teary, some were narrowed. All of them were red-rimmed and tired.</p><p>He didn’t have to look in the mirror to know why.</p><p>He knew it didn’t work. He could feel it. His body was too fatigued for it to have worked.</p><p>“I’m so sorry. I swear I did it right. I swear,” Jeremiah spoke quietly.</p><p>“You weren’t immune. It happens more often than not.” Chris replied, rubbing his eyes.</p><p>“What the hell are we supposed to do now?” Kevin asked, sitting on the edge of the bed and taking Scott’s hand in his own, terrified by how much silver was in Scott’s hair. “That sped it up, right?”</p><p>Chris nodded, and Mitch let out a whine from the back of his throat.</p><p>Kevin stood abruptly and dialed a number in his phone.</p><p>“Who are you calling?” Ben asked, softly.</p><p>“Mark.” And with that, Kevin was gone.</p><p> </p><p>Mark entered the house two hours later, looking at the floor, avoiding the looks from everyone there.</p><p>Matt fought back every urge to beat this man to a pulp for what he had allowed to happen.</p><p>“Have you ever, and I mean <em>ever, </em>been affected?” Chris asked in a voice that made even Kevin’s legs tremble.</p><p>“No… no I haven’t.”</p><p>“You watched Mason be affected, right?” Chris asked. Mark nodded. “And you never felt like that?”</p><p>Mark shook his head. “I wouldn’t be here if I had even the slightest doubt that I’m immune. I love him too much to risk that, I promise.”</p><p>“If you had loved him, you would have told someone that he was being attacked on a goddamn nightly basis,” Mitch argued, glaring at him.</p><p>“I was… confused. Because I thought Mason loved him too, and… and vice versa…” Mark stuttered.</p><p>“Let’s not waste time with this. Scott’s upstairs. Mark, I’ll take you up.” Kevin interjected.</p><p>“Scotty?” Kevin asked, sinking down on the bed next to his sleeping friend. “Scotty?” he repeated, shaking him gently by the shoulder until he blinked awake.</p><p>Scott’s eyes focused on Kevin’s guest, and Kevin watched as they softened. In that moment, Kevin knew for a fact that Scott loved the man who was looking back at him.</p><p>“Hi, Mark.”</p><p>“I’ll leave you two. Mark, remember everything we said?”</p><p>Mark nodded, taking Kevin’s place on Scott’s bed. “Please… be careful?” Kevin added, and left.</p><p>Mark watched the door shut before turning to face his ex-boyfriend. He ran his fingers through the silver strands of hair, and leaned forward to place a kiss on his forehead.</p><p>“I’m so sorry that we did this to you.”</p><p>“You didn’t do anything.”</p><p>“I let it happen.”</p><p>“So did I.”</p><p>“I didn’t understand.”</p><p>“Me neither.”</p><p>They looked into each other’s eyes, and Mark prayed that he would be able to bring the color back to Scott’s gray irises.</p><p>“Can I fix you, baby?” Mark asked, quietly.</p><p>“Okay.” Scott’s voice was small and wavering. Mark knew that he had to make the blond more comfortable, so he kissed him with as much love as possible.</p><p>Mark rejoiced when he felt Scott’s body reacting to the kiss.</p><p>Not used to being on top, he nervously prepared himself, taking extra time to open Scott up for him, and whispering as many “I love yous” as he could muster as he entered him.</p><p>He would never be able to get over how beautiful Scott looked like this. He made love to him slowly and gently, and placed as many kisses as possible across Scott’s skin as Scott came undone around him, whispering his name.</p><p>They dressed silently afterwards, wishing they could spend some time wrapped up in each other’s arms, but knowing that they had an entire waiting room downstairs. Mark leaned over and kissed Scott’s temple.</p><p>“I do love you.” Mark whispered, looking into Scott’s silver eyes.</p><p>“You do?” Scott asked, his voice wavering with vulnerability.</p><p>“I do.”</p><p>“Are you… are you still with him?” Scott asked.</p><p>Mark stared at him silently, as though shocked by the question. Then he nodded.</p><p>Scott could swear he felt his heart shatter.</p><p>“Better get back home to him, then,” Scott muttered, leaving the room without another word.</p><p> </p><p>They looked up when they heard the footsteps down the staircase, and Chris felt Scott against his side before he could even register that he had returned.</p><p>“You okay?” Chris whispered, wrapping a protective arm around him. Scott just nodded.</p><p>“Is it done?” Ben asked, eyeing Scott nervously, unsure of why Scott was acting this way. Scott nodded again.</p><p>Mark emerged a second later, frowning.</p><p>“Um… I think I did it right. I’ll… just… leave you all to it. Can someone let me know how he’s doing tomorrow?”</p><p>Kevin nodded, and walked him to the front door.</p><p>“What happened, Mark?” Kevin asked, his tone low and aggressive.</p><p>“It all went well, I promise. Everything was done right… but afterwards, I think I upset him…” Mark replied, his eyes misty with tears. “Just tell him I’m sorry?”</p><p>Kevin could do nothing more than nod, and he locked the front door before returning to his friends.</p><p>Scott was laying in Chris’ arms again, and had fallen asleep within minutes.</p><p>“He’s too calm, too tired.” Mitch muttered anxiously.</p><p>Chris just held him tighter. Deep down, he knew that Mitch was right. He just couldn’t stomach that realization, yet.</p><p> </p><p>They all dozed off shortly after, considering their emotionally-charged afternoon. Matt blinked awake sometime in the middle of the night, and immediately noticed that Scott was focused on what was playing on the TV.</p><p>“You’re up.” Matt muttered, rubbing his eyes.</p><p>“I’m up. Hey, can I talk to you?” Scott asked, turning to face him. Matt’s heart stopped when he realized that Scott’s eyes were nearly completely silver.</p><p>Matt nodded and Scott shimmied out of Chris’ grasp, gesturing for Matt to follow him up the stairs, and shutting his bedroom door behind them.</p><p>“What’s up, Scooter?” Matt asked, trying to keep his tone light, but failing miserably.</p><p>Scott patted the spot on the bed next to him, and Matt took a seat.</p><p>“I just… I wanted…” Scott started, his voice distant. He shut his eyes and ran a hand through his silver hair. “I just… I’m sorry.”</p><p>Silver eyes met brown then, and Matt’s breath hitched.</p><p>“Why are you sorry?” Matt asked. Scott shifted on the bed, clearly uncomfortable.</p><p>“I never should have… God, this is hard.”</p><p>Matt reached out and grabbed his hand, rubbing his knuckles gently. “Try.”</p><p>“You’re one of the best friends I ever could have hoped for. And I took such advantage of that. I know that I’ve caused so much more pain in your life than it was worth, and that was so <em>damn selfish </em>of me. I hurt you, countless times. I never even considered that what I was doing was hurting you, most of the time. Because I’m so fucking stupid. I have no idea why you stuck around, but please, just know, I am so thankful that you did, despite the fact that I could never give you what you wanted, what you needed from me.”</p><p>Matt’s heart was beating in his chest like a kick drum. “Why… why are you saying this to me?”</p><p>“I want you to promise me something, okay?”</p><p>Matt was terrified.</p><p>“Promise me that you’ll find someone who can give you what you need. Please, Matty? Please, let me go?”</p><p>Matt searched Scott’s eyes. Why did this feel like goodbye?</p><p>“I’ll do that on one condition,” he finally said, finding his courage. Scott nodded for him to continue.</p><p>“Kiss me. And if you feel nothing for me, nothing at all, I’ll move on.”</p><p>Matt knew that his request was selfish. He knew that if Scott felt nothing, it would make no difference and Matt would never be able to get over him, anyway.</p><p>Scott leaned in and connected their lips before Matt could take a breath. Matt reached up to cup the blond’s cheeks in his hands, and put every ounce of himself into this.</p><p>It felt like their lips danced around each other for hours, and for a split second, all at the same time.</p><p>Matt thought he might actually die of a heart attack.</p><p>There was no possible way that Scott didn’t feel that. Matt pulled away, and rested his forehead against Scott’s, making sure to avoid his stitches. Scott’s eyes remained closed, and Matt ran his thumb along Scott’s face as he had done so many times before.</p><p>“Move on, Matty, please?” Scott asked, opening his eyes. They were even more colorless than they had been a minute ago. Or was it hours? Again, Matt had no idea.</p><p>“You felt nothing?”</p><p>Scott was silent.</p><p>“That was the deal. Did you feel nothing?”</p><p>The silence was killing him.</p><p>“I felt nothing, Matty. I felt nothing.”</p><p>Matt said nothing in return, and grabbed Scott’s hand, leading him back down the stairs and nearly throwing him into Chris’ embrace again, before taking his place on the couch and falling asleep, tearfully.</p><p> </p><p>Mitch awoke the next morning to a loud sob. It took him a moment to realize where they were: In the living room. And why: to keep an eye on Scott.</p><p>Opening his eyes, he figured out the source of the cry: Niall.</p><p>Mitch watched, frozen to his spot on the couch, as Niall cupped Scott’s face in his hands and shook him, desperately.</p><p>“No. No. Please. No.” Niall repeated, over and over, his voice becoming more hysterical with every word.</p><p>Mitch watched as Scott eyed Niall with a blank expression.</p><p>Scott was broken.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0049"><h2>49. Age Twenty-Five, Part III</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Happy Last Day of 2020! This GOD FORSAKEN YEAR. Had to get this out to you guys nice and early so I can celebrate RESPONSIBLY with day drinking on video chats with frands.</p><p>I feel the need to warn you: This one is dark. Like... very. Please be careful, y'all...</p><p>Also, long rant today... but I finished writing this whole story. And I feel utterly dead inside because I loved writing this one so much! 59 chapters total. Enjoy!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Scotty, look at me, babe.” Chris muttered, forcing Scott to look into his eyes. The vacant expression on his face was sending chills down each and every one of their spines. “How do you feel?”</p><p>Scott said nothing. He simply stared at him.</p><p>“Scotty… how do you feel?” Chris tried again, his voice sounding more frantic. “How can I help you love? You have to tell me.”</p><p>Scott opened his mouth, but nothing happened.</p><p>“Scott, I need you to speak. I need you to speak right now.” Chris urged, peeling Scott away from him and repositioning himself to kneel before him instead. “Talk to me.”</p><p>Scott opened his mouth again, and his friends watched as his eyes filled with tears and he blinked them away.</p><p>“Are you… trying to speak?” Chris asked.</p><p>Scott nodded.</p><p>The realization that Scott might never speak again hit them like a ton of bricks.</p><p>Matt thought of Scott’s final words to him: <em>“I felt nothing, Matty. I felt nothing.”</em></p><p> </p><p>It was hitting Ben particularly hard, Kirstie noticed, later that afternoon. Ben was typing and clicking frantically on his computer, his eyes laser-focused.</p><p>“What are you doing?” Kirstie asked, hugging him around the shoulders from behind.</p><p>“Posting the new video.” Ben replied, not bothering to look up from his work.</p><p>“Maybe we should wait…”</p><p>“No.”</p><p>“Ben…”</p><p>“I said, <em>no</em>.”</p><p>“Why not?”</p><p>“Because I need to hear his voice!” Ben yelled, covering his face with his hands and inhaling a shaky breath. Then his shoulders began to shake, and Kirstie knew that he was falling apart like the rest of them.</p><p>“We’ll hear him again. We have to.”</p><p> </p><p>“Scott isn’t to be left alone. Ever. Understood?” Chris spoke as they sat around the living room that night. “Especially in the first few weeks. The fact that we don’t even know what he’s thinking at any given moment… that’s too risky.”</p><p>So they took turns, following Scott around like body guards and puppies. They hid the knives, his razor… hell, they hid his belts. If anything further happened to him, they would never forgive themselves.</p><p>One of them would fall asleep wrapped around him each night, partially to feel close to him, and partially to keep him from waking up and doing something reckless.</p><p>It was Matt’s turn to watch him, three nights later.</p><p>“What you said to me the other night…” Matt started, staring at the ceiling, laying on his back in Scott’s bed. “Did you mean all of what you said?”</p><p>Matt wasn’t surprised when he was met with silence, obviously. He watched as Scott typed into his phone before holding it out to him, playing the text-to-voice feature that they had been relying so heavily upon, lately.</p><p>
  <em>“No. I didn’t mean it.”</em>
</p><p>“Did you know? Is that why you did it? Did you know you were going to break?”</p><p>He watched as Scott nodded, still looking at the ceiling.</p><p>Matt would give anything to see the vibrant blue color return to his eyes. He knew that this would never be possible. He missed those eyes so much it hurt.</p><p>He watched as Scott typed again, for longer, this time.</p><p>
  <em>“I shouldn’t say I didn’t mean it. I meant most of it. I meant that you need to let me go. I don’t want to hurt you anymore.”</em>
</p><p>Matt cringed at the robotic voice. It sounded heartless, and he knew that Scott’s voice would have held more emotion than that.</p><p>“Shouldn’t you let me decide?”</p><p>Scott didn’t nod or shake his head. He simply lay in silence.</p><p>“I should be the one to decide if I should move on or not. And I’m not going to. You know why?”</p><p>Scott looked at him.</p><p>“Because having you in my life at all? That’s all I want. That’s all I need. Just promise that you’ll fight this. That you’ll try your hardest to stick around. Please?”</p><p>Scott was typing again.</p><p>
  <em>“I don’t want to go anywhere, Matty.”</em>
</p><p>“Good.” Matt replied. “Can I hold you?”</p><p>Scott looked unsure, like he was wondering if he would be torturing Matt by letting him. But he nodded, slowly, and scooted up against Matt a moment later, resting his head on Matt’s chest. They fell asleep peacefully that way, and Matt cherished the moment.</p><p> </p><p>It felt like Scott was ripped out of Matt’s arms in the middle of the night. Matt’s eyes darted open, searching the darkness for what was going on. Scott was at the window, trying desperately to open it.</p><p>“You hot, Scotty?” Matt whispered, sitting up and rubbing his eyes. Scott didn’t acknowledge him, and simply continued to attempt to pry it open.</p><p>“I’ll get it, Scott,” Matt whispered, clamoring out of the bed and replacing Scott at the window. Scott stepped to the side to let him help. It opened a moment later with a creak, and Matt turned back towards the bed.</p><p>“Scott? What are you… SCOTT,” Matt yelled, reaching for his friend with a desperate grip. Scott tried to wriggle out of his arms, in an attempt to hurl himself out of the open window.</p><p>Matt’s voice must have woken Chris, who came barreling through the door a moment later. Chris wrapped Scott in a tight hold and lowered him to the ground, whispering in his ear.</p><p>Scott’s breathing was erratic, like he was spooked.</p><p>Matt watched as his breathing evened out, slowly.</p><p>“You with me?” Chris whispered, rubbing Scott’s arms as he loosened his hold. Scott nodded. “Shut the window.”</p><p>Matt complied, and locked it for good measure.</p><p>“Nicely done,” Chris added, looking into Matt’s eyes with a pained expression. “You saved him.”</p><p>“Why… how did that happen?”</p><p>“It’s going to overtake him… randomly, it would seem. More so in the beginning, before he can get used to it. It’s like a night terror, but he’s awake. That’s why we can’t leave him alone.</p><p>Only then did Matt realize that Scott was crying.</p><p>“You okay?” Matt asked, kneeling down in front of his friend, thumbing away his tears.</p><p>Scott shook his head.</p><p>“He’s still coming back down.” Chris whispered, and pressed his lips to the top of his silver-haired head.</p><p>“Can you stay with us? Until he does? Please?” Matt asked, cringing at the sound of his own desperation. Chris simply nodded.</p><p>“I wouldn’t leave you like this.”</p><p> </p><p>“You know what I was thinking?” Leigh asked, one week later. Kevin turned to her, stirring his coffee. “You guys shouldn’t be alone with him. Right?”</p><p>Kevin eyed her with a puzzled look.</p><p>“His pheromones are stronger now that he’s broken,” Leigh explained. “What if one of you gets affected? We should have two people with him at all times.”</p><p>Kevin’s eyes softened as he realized. “That’s just not realistic, Leigh. We still have to live our lives, you know? To double everyone’s responsibility? That wouldn’t be fair.” As much as it hurt Kevin’s heart to say those words, he let the truth spill from his lips. “And… he doesn’t have a count anymore…” he added.</p><p>“I’m going to ignore the fact that you just basically condoned attacking him,” Leigh replied, narrowing her eyes. “What, he’s fair game now?”</p><p>“I… what?” Leigh’s reaction shocked him.</p><p>“He doesn’t have a count anymore? So, what? Damage is done, let’s just all have at it?” Leigh asked, louder than before.</p><p>“Leigh… don’t. Don’t put words in my mouth like that.”</p><p>“They were essentially your words, hun, not mine,” she muttered, storming out of the kitchen, leaving Kevin baffled in her wake.</p><p> </p><p>As it turned out, Leigh’s idea had actually been a good one.</p><p>Unfortunately, it was Kevin who realized this first.</p><p>Scott’s side of the bed shifted during Kevin’s night with him, jolting the larger man awake.</p><p>“You okay?” Kevin whispered, eyeing Scott in the dark. He watched as Scott nodded, and pointed towards the adjoining bathroom, as though waiting for permission. “Of course, go ahead.”</p><p>The door clicked shut, and Kevin found himself listening more than anyone would be comfortable with.</p><p>As it turned out, listening had been a good idea, and Kevin pondered why he heard the medicine cabinet open and shut a few times after the toilet had flushed.</p><p>He approached the door, pressing his ear to it. “You okay in there?”</p><p>He heard a crack, like plastic being broken.</p><p>“Scotty? Let me in?” Kevin asked, knocking, trying to remain calm.</p><p>“Scott, I’m coming in…” He tried the handle, but it was locked. He shouldered the door, which was something he was becoming all-too familiar with as of late. The door swung open on his fourth try, and Kevin thought he might pass out.</p><p>“Scott… no…”</p><p>He reached for his friend with shaking hands.</p><p>Scott was staring down at his wrists with a blank stare, watching as crimson drops hit the floor, creating a small pool there.</p><p>“Drop it.” Kevin ordered, eyeing the broken razor and forgetting how to be calm, wondering how they had missed this one.</p><p>Scott’s silver eyes met Kevin’s, unblinking. Without further warning, Scott moved to slash at his wrist again.</p><p>Kevin caught him by the wrist before it could connect with his own flesh. He struggled against the broken sécor, praying that he would tire quickly.</p><p>He threw the razor against the far wall, and clutched Scott to his chest, whispering into his hair. “Don’t do this. Don’t leave me, please.”</p><p>He felt Scott become boneless in his grasp, and he lowered them to the floor, running his hands through the silver strands of hair.</p><p>He reached back up towards the sink, finding what he was looking for. He examined Scott’s wrists as he felt the life return to the blond’s body, as though waking from a trance.</p><p>“They aren’t that deep. Thank God…” Kevin muttered, dabbing them with an alcohol pad, causing Scott to flinch, and wrapping them in gauze.</p><p>He looked down at his own shirt when he was done, and saw the faint tie dyed look of Scott’s blood on his shirt.</p><p>He looked up at Scott, who looked like he felt horrible for worrying him.</p><p>“That was so fucking stupid, Scott.”</p><p>Scott flinched.</p><p>Kevin crawled closer to him, noting that the scent of blood had dissipated, and was replaced by a sweet and delicious smell instead.</p><p>Kevin leaned in towards Scott’s neck, noticing that it was coming from somewhere on his body.</p><p>“You stained my shirt,” Kevin added in a gruff whisper, causing Scott to flinch yet again. “What, are you afraid of me?”</p><p>Scott stared at the floor, as though he was ashamed of himself.</p><p>“Just talk.”</p><p>Scott raised his eyes to meet Kevin’s gaze, and Kevin noticed the fear in them.</p><p>“We have to get you talking. Tell you what… I’m going to do something, and if you say ‘stop’, I’ll stop. But only if you say it, understood?” Kevin’s voice held a false gentle tone.</p><p>Kevin reached forward and attacked Scott’s lips with his own, relishing in how sweet Scott tasted.</p><p>He heard a mixture of a groan and a whimper, and pulled away. “So you <em>can</em> make noise,” Kevin said, his blank eyes narrowing. “So, tell me to stop. Go ahead.”</p><p>Scott stared at him with wide eyes, and Kevin moved to straddle him where he sat on the floor, pushing him backwards against the tile.</p><p>“No? Okay, then.”</p><p>Kevin peeled Scott’s clothing off quickly, leaving him naked on the cold, tile floor. He pulled down his own shorts halfway down his thighs, extracting his painfully hard cock before lining himself up.</p><p>He stared into Scott’s gray eyes, as Scott lay there, unmoving.</p><p>“So pretty.” Kevin whispered, stroking Scott’s cheek.</p><p>Scott gasped as Kevin entered him roughly.</p><p>“Fuck.” Kevin groaned, clenching his eyes shut from the rush of lust that coursed through him.</p><p>He didn’t take long to finish, his orgasm sending tremors through his body, stronger than he had ever felt before.</p><p>He hovered there for a moment, waiting for his blood to stop pooling in his groin and return to his head.</p><p>Then his eyes snapped open, and he sobbed when he looked at the man below him.</p><p>He sobbed again when he realized that he was still inside of him.</p><p>He threw himself away from Scott, and out the bathroom door. He needed to get help, and he needed it fast.</p><p> </p><p>Chris didn’t need an explanation, and took off running as soon as Kevin woke him.</p><p>“SHIT,” Chris screamed, and ran into the bathroom, out of Kevin’s sight. Kevin clenched his eyes shut, sitting down on Scott’s bed. “Why the hell did you leave him?” Chris’ hysterical voice sounded through the doorway.</p><p>Kevin willed himself not to start crying, but he was fighting a losing battle.</p><p>“Scott, Scott wake <em>up, </em>baby, come on.” Kevin heard Chris say through tears of his own.</p><p>
  <em>Wake up? Why... why wouldn't he be awake...?</em>
</p><p>And it was only then that Kevin realized that he had left the razor blade in the bathroom, tossed haphazardly against the tile wall, where he had just abandoned Scott’s wrecked body.</p><p>He was on his feet and hovering in the threshold in the next moment, and gagged at the sight.</p><p>Scott was lying in a pool of blood, with gashes down his arms, legs, and torso. Some looked excruciatingly deep, like he was trying to mutilate himself.</p><p>“Ambulance. Call… an ambulance,” Chris ordered in a broken slew of words, holding Scott’s head in place and trying desperately to ease him awake.</p><p>Scott was bleeding out, and it was happening too quickly.</p><p> </p><p>They found themselves, once again, in a hospital waiting room. Kevin hadn’t spoken since he had woken Chris. No, Kevin wanted to crawl into a ball and die.</p><p>He mentally berated himself. How many mistakes could he make in one night? To miss the razor blade in Scott’s bathroom, to let himself be affected by him, to leave him in there, broken, attacked, and still stuck in a state of suicidal ideation… and to leave him there with a blade?</p><p>Kevin hated himself.</p><p>He couldn’t look at anyone. Not even Leigh. Especially not Leigh. She had warned him. He had… wait… had he cheated on her?</p><p>Kevin groaned, and he felt her hand on his back, soothing him.</p><p>“I attacked him.”</p><p>The room was silent, and Leigh’s hand stilled.</p><p>The tears fell relentlessly now, and his shoulders shook with sobs.</p><p>“Never let me near him again.”</p><p>More silence.</p><p>“I don’t deserve to be near him again.”</p><p> </p><p>Chris lay Scott on his back when they arrived back at the house, at around noon the following day. He was thankful that sécor skin healed quickly, as he watched Scott flinch when his gashes rubbed against his clothing as he was lowered. The doctor had told them that, with proper cleaning, there should be no sign of any of the wounds at the end of two weeks.</p><p>That didn’t ease the ache in his heart as he watched Scott squirm in pain.</p><p>“Stay still, Scotty. You don’t want to open any of them up.”</p><p>Scott looked at him with his lifeless eyes, and Chris wished he could read minds.</p><p>Scott had required hundreds of stitches. A blood transfusion was only possible because of Chris, who shared his blood-type. Otherwise, Scott would have succumbed to his injuries. Scott’s torso, thighs, and wrists were wrapped up like a mummy, and they had received specific instructions for cleaning his wounds each day.</p><p><em>“I’m sorry, Chrissy.” </em>The monotone phone blared, snapping Chris out of his thoughts. Chris shook his head sadly, and sat at the edge of the bed carefully to avoid shifting the mattress too much.</p><p>“You have nothing to be sorry for. We failed you last night. We are the ones who are sorry.”</p><p>
  <em>“I wish I could be stronger for you.”</em>
</p><p>Chris’ eyes narrowed. “You know that you’re the strongest person I’ve ever met? Sécor or otherwise?”</p><p>Scott shot him a doubtful look, and then looked down at his bandaged body.</p><p>“This wasn’t you. You have to know that. You have to understand that these… terrors… they aren’t you. Remember? Remember what we learned in school? You can’t help it. It will get easier, yes, for you to fight, but your brain…”</p><p><em>“My brain is sick.” </em>Scott’s phone blared, reflecting the words that their teacher had spoken at Arsdale.</p><p>Chris nodded, miserably, as Scott typed again.</p><p><em>“Why did Jesse handle this so much better than me?” </em>the phone said.</p><p>“He didn’t.”</p><p>
  <em>“He seemed so stable when he was here last.”</em>
</p><p>“He wasn’t. He was just like you. Moments where he was okay. Where we were hopeful that he was coping. Then he would turn at the drop of a hat. And it was more frequently than yours. There’s no strength component to any of this, Scott. We just had to wait and see.”</p><p>
  <em>“At least he could speak.”</em>
</p><p>“…True. It’s breaking my heart that you can’t.”</p><p>Scott typed for longer this time. <em>“Has a sécor ever recovered their voice?”</em></p><p>Chris mulled over the question for a moment. Honestly, he had never heard of a positive case.</p><p>
  <em>“I want to sing again.”</em>
</p><p>“To hear you sing again… that would…” Chris started, fighting back the lump in his throat. “That would make this world seem slightly more okay.” Chris sat silently, wondering if he should say his next words. “I need you to sing again. Okay? Promise me?”</p><p>Scott simply looked at him with dead eyes. </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0050"><h2>50. Age Twenty-Five, Part IV</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Happy New Year, friends! Already spilled coffee on my carpet, then proceeded to simply lay down next to it, giving up. Anyhoo... this one was hard to write because it's sad in some different ways.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Mitch, Matt, Kirstie, and Kevin sat on their stools, dreading what they were about to do.</p><p>“Ready?” Ben’s voice asked, shakily. They nodded. “And… action.”</p><p>“Hi,” they chorused.</p><p>“Sorry if you were expecting a new song today. We wanted to thank each and every one of you for helping ‘Hallelujah’ get to 1 million views in a week. That’s truly incredible. We can’t thank you enough,” Kirstie started.</p><p>“Your support for us has been unmatched, and we wanted to let you know that we are thankful that we have been able to touch some of your lives, even just a little bit,” Kevin continued.</p><p>“We don’t have a new video for you today, but we did want to explain what ‘Hallelujah’ meant to us.” Mitch chimed in, and took a deep breath. “Some of you may have noticed that, in the video, Scott’s hair was turning silver. This is because, on Sunday of last week, we found out that Scott was breaking.” Mitch fought back tears. “During that week, all Scott wanted to do was record this song and video. He pretty much begged us, actually.” He tried to laugh, but it sounded more like a pained gargle.</p><p>“We are thankful that we recorded this video, because at the time we didn’t realize that that would be the last time we would hear Scott sing.” Matt started, and closed his eyes, trying to ground himself. “We are sorry to tell you, our incredible new fans, that Scott Hoying broke on Thursday morning of last week. Unfortunately, it took his voice from us. Like many sécors, when Scott broke, he became mute.”</p><p>“It’s for that reason that we have to tell you that Pentatonix will no longer be creating music.” Kevin said. “Without Scott’s voice, it just doesn’t feel right. So, we are going to continue to make this life as comfortable for Scott as possible, and we are going to take the time to heal ourselves as well, as we mourn the loss of a voice and <em>light </em>that we aren’t sure how we will live without.”</p><p>“Once again, we thank you for your kind words and encouragement as we tried to follow our dream… <em>Scott’s </em>dream. But now, our focus has to fall on him, and keeping him with us for as long as possible. We love you guys.” Kirstie finished.</p><p>They waved at the camera, and waited for Ben to provide a quiet, “Cut.”</p><p>It had been Scott’s choice not to be in the video. Each of them understood, wanting to shield him from as much pain as possible.</p><p> </p><p>That afternoon, the comments were already running rampant.</p><p>
  <b>
    <strong>Nooooooo! You guys were my absolute favorites.</strong>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <strong>If the world had given you guys a fighting chance, you would have taken over. I’m convinced.</strong>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <strong>So sorry to hear about Scott. He seems so special to you guys.</strong>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <strong>Scott! No! If you’re reading this, please fight this!</strong>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <strong>Reply: He can’t fight this. That was a dumb comment.</strong>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <strong>Reply: There hasn’t been much research on broken sécors, actually, so her comment wasn’t dumb at all.</strong>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <strong>Reply: Right! Especially on the MUTE and broken sécors. I bet if the right person got their hands on him, they could figure something out.</strong>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <strong>Reply: I’d like to get MY hands on him. Inside of him, too…</strong>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <strong>Reply: That was vile. Reported.</strong>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <strong>Reply: Report him all you want. Unfortunately, sécors have no rights. </strong>
  </b>
  <b>
    <strong></strong>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <strong>Pentatonix was quickly becoming my guilty pleasure and to know that I have no new videos to look forward to just ruined my day.</strong>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <strong>Reply: Now imagine how THEIRdays are going.</strong>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <strong>I didn’t get the hype anyway.</strong>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <strong>My friend knew a guy who had a sécor as a pet or whatever and they fixed him.</strong>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <strong>Reply: That was rude. Sécors aren’t pets. And he probably wasn’t BROKEN, he was BREAKING.</strong>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <strong>Reply: Well excuse me then, for not knowing the right term. Sheesh. But no, the sécor was BROKEN. Silver hair like this guy and all. Full-blown suicidal and everything.</strong>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <strong>Reply: Suicidal? They become suicidal?</strong>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <strong>Reply: Oh yeah, total basket cases. They lose their minds. It’s terrible.</strong>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <strong>Reply: Nooooo Scott Nooooooo!!!</strong>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <strong>Guys, email me if you think this group should win a Grammy for their final song. It’s the least we can do. Let’s try to bring some joy back to them, give Scott something to look forward to. Let’s get them a nomination!</strong>
  </b>
</p><p>That last comment had already been liked over 1,000 times. Ben smiled as he scrolled through, ignoring the jolt of hope in his chest with some of the comments that referenced fixing.</p><p> </p><p>Rick and Connie rang the doorbell late that evening, hugging each of them in turn.</p><p>“We have to stop meeting like this,” Mitch muttered into Connie’s shoulder as he embraced her.</p><p>“Where is he?” Rick asked, getting immediately to the whole point of the visit.</p><p>“Upstairs, taking a nap. Niall and Chris are up there.”</p><p>“Good. We should relieve them for a bit. Are all of you ready for your trips home?”</p><p>The group shifted on their feet, looking at each other before nodding.</p><p>“Don’t do that. Don’t feel guilty. You deserve some time to yourselves. You deserve some time away from all of this.” Connie said, softly.</p><p> </p><p>Matt slid onto his mother’s kitchen counter, taking a piece of pie that was waiting there for him. “I missed your cooking most of all, I think,” Matt said, plastering a smile on his face as he bit into it.</p><p>It wasn’t a lie. He loved being home, and he certainly loved her cooking. But if something happened to Scott and Matt wasn’t there, he would never get over it.</p><p>“Good. Well, eat as much of it as you can fit in that tiny little body of yours. Are you eating anything at all, these days?” Matt didn’t miss the mix of concern and judgment in her tone.</p><p>“Yes, mother.”</p><p>“I was kind of thinking that you would bring someone home this time…” Tammy started. Matt rolled his eyes.</p><p>“Been a bit busy.”</p><p>“Hmm.” Tammy started. “I really thought that this time you’d have the pretty blond with you.”</p><p>Matt looked at her with a humorous expression. “Kirstie’s taken, Mom. By one of my <em>best friends</em>, mind you.”</p><p>“Not her,” Tammy smiled. “The one you’re always fawning over.”</p><p>Matt’s heart thumped painfully in his chest. He hadn’t told her about what had happened to Scott, and she wasn’t tech-savvy enough to have seen their last announcement video. There was no way that she could mean him…</p><p>“Scott, right?” Tammy urged, softly. “He’s such a sweetheart. And you really seem to get lost in your thoughts when he’s around, baby.”</p><p>“A… man? A <em>sécor, </em>actually? That’s who you wanted me to bring home?”</p><p>Tammy shook her head, giving him a small smile. “Honey, I don’t care who you’re bringing home, as long as they make you as happy as that boy makes you. And before you protest, your father feels exactly the same.”</p><p>Matt wasn’t sure why his eyes were stinging with tears in response to her words, but something about the fact that his mother knew how he felt was comforting.</p><p>“He won’t be coming home with me, Mom.”</p><p>“Why not? Never say never. He’ll open his eyes one day. Maybe next time I see you, that handsome boy will be on your arm, showing off a nice engagement ring, for all we know.”</p><p>The mental image was enough to crush Matt’s heart. “I… I don’t know…” Matt’s voice hitched in his throat, and Tammy moved closer to him, searching his face.</p><p>“What’s wrong, baby? Why don’t you think so?”</p><p>Matt prayed for the strength to keep talking. Closing his eyes, he spoke again. “He’s broken, Mom. He’s… he’s very sick.”</p><p>Tammy’s eyes looked like her heart was breaking for her son.</p><p>“He’s… he’s probably not going to survive… much longer…” He choked out a sob and she hugged him closely to her.</p><p>“Then you take advantage of every moment that you are blessed with having him until then.”</p><p> </p><p>Leigh sat on Kevin’s bed on their third evening home. She had been quite a hit with his family, as usual, but there was a tension between them that Kevin had never felt before.</p><p>“Talk to me,” Leigh urged, quietly.</p><p>“I want to go home.”</p><p>“I do, too. But try to enjoy this time with your family. And just know that he’s in good hands… His parents AND Chris and Niall, and you’ll be with him again soon.”</p><p>“I don’t deserve to be with him again soon.”</p><p>“Kev…”</p><p>“You warned me. You told me <em>exactly </em>what was going to happen, and I ignored it.”</p><p>“What… happened?”</p><p>Kevin stared at her. He didn’t know if he had the strength to tell her what had happened that night.</p><p>“He… went into the bathroom… and I heard some weird noises. I rammed the door open… he was cutting himself. Just lightly on his wrists. So, I wrestled the razor out of his hand. But then… I was overcome by this sweet smell. I can’t explain it, but I <em>needed</em> it. And I was suddenly… angry with him. Like I really wanted him to talk and he wasn’t, so I was frustrated. I remember ripping his… clothing off… and telling him to tell me to stop. But he didn’t. He just… laid there. And he looked so scared. But he didn’t fight me. And I… I raped him… worse than Matt did. I think I had convinced myself that he would yell or protest or <em>something. </em>So much worse, what I did to him… and I was so disgusted with myself that I left to get Chris. When we got back, I realized I had left that <em>stupid </em>razor behind… and he had used it on himself.”</p><p>Kevin took what seemed to be his first breath of the conversation.</p><p>“Kevin, his pheromones…”</p><p>“Don’t. Don’t tell me that this wasn’t my fault. This was entirely my fault. We almost lost him because of me.”</p><p>“Kev?”</p><p>“What.”</p><p>“We’ve almost lost him more times than I can remember. You messed up. He’s still with us. And after the first few weeks, they say it gets a bit easier. Let’s take it day by day, okay?”</p><p>“I cheated on you.”</p><p>“No, you didn’t.”</p><p>“For God’s sake, Leigh. I fucked someone else.”</p><p>Leigh cringed at his brash response. “You weren’t in control.”</p><p>“I don’t deserve you. And I don’t deserve him.”</p><p>“Scott would die without you, though. So… what’s more important?”</p><p>Kevin paused, staring at her with wide eyes.</p><p>“Kev… what’s more important? Your pride? Or keeping Scott alive? Because we can’t do that without you.”</p><p>“You know the answer to that.”</p><p>“Good. Then suck it up. Your mom says dinner is in ten.”</p><p>Kevin watched as the smartest woman he knew left the room.</p><p>He knew that she was right. She was always right.</p><p> </p><p>“You okay, babe?” Ben asked, glancing over at Kirstie in the passenger seat as they drove to a restaurant in San Francisco.</p><p>“How do you think it’s possible that I ended up at the same school as Scott and Mitch?” Kirstie asked.</p><p>Ben wasn’t sure where that came from. He smiled and shrugged. “Fate?”</p><p>“If that was fate, then it can be argued that all of this was. All of us meeting, everything with Scott, Pentatonix… it was all fate.”</p><p>“Yeah, I’d say so.”</p><p>“Fate’s a fickle bitch, isn’t she?”</p><p>“She certainly can be. But she sure can be beautiful, too. And watch that fate hate. Fate brought you back to Scott. And more importantly, Scott brought you to me.”</p><p>“True…”</p><p>“We kind of met against the odds, I’d say.” Ben continued.</p><p>“I wish the odds were friendlier. I wish they were in our favor, I mean, <em>ever.”</em></p><p>Ben grabbed her hand. “We have to spin the odds in our favor, then.” He placed a kiss to her palm.</p><p> </p><p>“He’s… he’s what?” Alex’s voice broke.</p><p>Mitch eyed Alex’s boyfriend where he sat next to him on his bed, patting his back awkwardly.</p><p>His name was Evan, and he was fine, Mitch supposed. But Mitch knew that he certainly didn’t want to be part of this discussion, and Mitch wished he would just leave already.</p><p>“He’s broken.” Mitch repeated. “And everything is so messed up… I don’t know what to do.”</p><p>“How… how did you guys let that happen?” Alex asked, his eyes narrowing. “I’m gonna call him.” Alex reached for his phone in his back pocket, and Evan looked uncomfortable.</p><p>“Don’t bother.” Mitch replied.</p><p>“And why not?”</p><p>“Because… he can’t talk to you.”</p><p>He watched Alex’s eyes widen, and Evan’s continue to look confused.</p><p>“He’s mute. And also, I’m offended that you didn’t watch our Pentatonix videos. If you had, you would know this already,” Mitch added, attempting desperately to lighten the mood.</p><p>“I’m sorry about your friend, baby…” Evan muttered.</p><p>Alex stood up and stomped into the adjoining bathroom, slamming the door behind him without another word.</p><p> </p><p>On January 4<sup>th</sup>, the group returned to LA, eagerly. They had enjoyed the holidays with their families, but the cryptic messages and replies from Rick, Connie, Chris and Niall left them all with a constant feeling of anxiety.</p><p>“He’s doing okay.”</p><p>“Hanging in.”</p><p>“Last night was tough, but he’s okay.”</p><p>“I’ll tell you when you get back.”</p><p>They were relieved to find Scott on the couch when they returned, scrolling through his phone. Mitch’s heart stopped, looking at his best friend. Other than the silver hair that lay on his head, he looked… healthy and normal.</p><p>“Hey, Scoot.” Mitch cooed, climbing onto the couch with his favorite person.</p><p>Scott smiled in return and reached around him to hug him from the side.</p><p>“I missed you,” Mitch added.</p><p>Scott pointed to his chest, and then held up two fingers. Mitch laughed. “Nice fake sign language, Scotty.”</p><p>Scott pretended to bow.</p><p>Mitch studied his smile. It looked… forced.</p><p>This left Mitch feeling unsettled, as his other roommates filtered in from their flights.</p><p> </p><p>They were seated around the dining room table, later that night, when Mitch figured out why.</p><p>“We should… probably tell them,” Chris started, looking nervous. Rick nodded, somberly.</p><p>The group turned to look at Scott, who was staring at his food like it was suddenly the most interesting thing he had ever seen.</p><p>“Tell us what?” Ben asked, his eyes narrowing, and grabbing Kirstie’s hand.</p><p>Suddenly, Scott was typing. They waited as patiently as they could, but Matt’s anxious sigh made them cringe.</p><p><em>“I love you all, very much.” </em>The phone sounded. They all looked at each other, feeling a sense of dread. <em>“But it’s time for me to go back to Texas.”</em></p><p>Kirstie’s fork hit her plate harshly, making the group flinch.</p><p>They sat in silence as Scott looked at each one of them.</p><p>Kevin spoke first. “You… you don’t have to. We can… we can still take care of you, Scott.”</p><p>Scott looked at him, sadly, and shook his head before typing again.</p><p>
  <em>“That’s not your job. And anyway, I’m leaving because I want to.”</em>
</p><p>“You want to?” Mitch asked, a tone of annoyance in his voice.</p><p>“Can I help to explain, please, Scott?” Rick interjected, and Scott nodded. “We talked about this for a while over the past few days. The past few weeks without you guys… they were rough. Very rough. I won’t sugarcoat that. It made us realize that we aren’t comfortable with leaving him again. And me? I retired in June. This?” Rick pointed at Scott. “This will be my life’s work now. I’m determined to fix this.”</p><p>They stared at Rick in a shocked silence.</p><p>“You think you could? You think you could fix him?” Matt asked, hopefully. Suddenly this didn’t seem like such a bad idea.</p><p>“I already have feelers out to a bunch of specialists. We’re certainly going to try. I’m confident that we could <em>at least </em>get his voice back. Scott can’t live like this. And <em>you guys </em>can’t live like this, either.”</p><p>They looked to each other with tears in their eyes and with heavy hearts. “How long?” Leigh asked.</p><p>“Oh, sweetheart… it could take years.” Connie replied, taking her hand. “We can’t put a number on that, and we can’t expect you all to wait. Let us take him home. Let us worry about him. And you all need to start to worry about yourselves.”</p><p>When they turned to Scott, he was nodding and smiling softly.</p><p>“He’ll be coming with us on our return flight. He’ll be coming with us tomorrow.”</p><p>Mitch thought he might have to bang on his chest in order to kickstart his heart again. He left the table abruptly, refusing to look anyone in the eye.</p><p>This wasn’t fair. They had been with him for so long. Now he was leaving them, abandoning them.</p><p>
  <em>Selfish.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>After dinner, Scott entered his room and shut the door, refusing to face Niall, who looked on with a mixture of sadness and worry.</p><p>The walls caved in and he leaned his forehead against the door, his shoulders slumping.</p><p>“You did a great job of holding it together, Scott,” Niall whispered, reaching for his friend. “I know. I know this is so hard for you. But it’s for the best. We have to let them live their lives now. Okay?”</p><p>Niall’s heart broke when he heard a small sob. He turned Scott around by the shoulders and held him close.</p><p>“They have to move on.” Niall whispered, rubbing his back as he held him. “You’re giving them that chance. I’m so proud of you.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0051"><h2>51. Age Twenty-Six</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Mitch, you seem a bit scattered today. How are you feeling?”</p><p>“I feel fine. Fine. Why wouldn’t I be fine?”</p><p>“Mitch… you’re picking at your skin again.”</p><p>Mitch stared at his therapist, stopping his fingers in their tracks at her observation.</p><p>“What are you thinking about?”</p><p>Silence.</p><p>“Are you thinking about him?”</p><p>A nod.</p><p>“That’s okay. It’s okay to think about him. Did you do your homework?”</p><p>Mitch shook his head.</p><p>“Why not?”</p><p>“I… can’t.”</p><p>“Why not, Mitch?” her tone was soft and understanding, like she knew that he hadn’t.</p><p>“I can’t write the letter. I don’t know what to say to him.”</p><p>“What about all of the things you told me? Would you like to write it together?”</p><p>“…Maybe.”</p><p>He looked down at the chicken scratch of a letter after they were finished composing it.</p><p>
  <em>Dear Scott,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Your birthday is next week. It has been 9 months since I last saw you, and 6 months since I’ve heard from you at all. I hope you’re well.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I’m writing this letter to let you know that you aren’t the only person who is broken. The day you left me, you broke me, too. I may not have silver hair, or gray, lifeless eyes… but you’ve taken everything from me.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I want to die, some days. Other days I feel numb. The guilty days are the worst, where I wonder what I could have done to save you. I go over every single instance where I could have done something differently, something to make it so you could still be here with me.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>But you left me.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I don’t know how to cope. I don’t know how to move on with my life, because, let’s face it, you <span class="u">were</span>my life. My love for you is what holds me together.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I haven’t returned home because I don’t know what I’ll do if I’m so close to you again. The distance between LA and Arlington might be the only thing keeping me sane at this point.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Why did you stop texting? Your texts were the best part of my day. Then they were more sporadic, colder. Finally, they stopped altogether. Your dad assures me that you’re alive. Part of me is starting to wonder if he’s lying.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The worst part is, I can’t even be mad at you. Because none of this, not a single thing about this, is your fault.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Happy Birthday, Scott. I love you.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>-Mitch</em>
</p><p>“What do you think?”</p><p>“It’s fine.” Mitch mumbled, curling the upper right corner of the page. “So, what now? Do we burn it?”</p><p>His therapist shook her head slowly, and Mitch’s eyes narrowed.</p><p>“We aren’t sending this.”</p><p>“Why not?”</p><p>“Because he doesn’t deserve the guilt. It would kill him.”</p><p>“Good, I’m glad you realize that,” she replied, folding the letter into a tiny, threatening square of angry words. “Here. Why don’t you hold onto it? Write more of them when you’re feeling angry. Let yourself be reminded that this isn’t anyone’s fault.”</p><p>Mitch nodded, fighting the sudden urge to cry, or to call Scott.</p><p>He knew better than to do the latter. He knew that he wouldn’t answer.</p><p>
  <b>
    
  </b>
</p><p><b><strong>“</strong></b>And the Grammy goes to… Wow… Pentatonix, Hallelujah.”</p><p>The group stared at each other in a stunned silence as the audience clapped politely around them.</p><p>It had been over a year since Scott left them.</p><p>It had been over 6 months since the rest of them lived together.</p><p>It had been over 6 months since some of them had even spoken.</p><p>And here they were, four out of five of them, trying to hold it together at the <em>Grammys</em>, for crying out loud.</p><p>Kirstie was the first one to her feet, dragging Mitch along with her. Matt and Kevin followed, unable to see straight through their emotions.</p><p>“Wow. Wow is right. Thank you so much.” Kevin started, staring at the award in his hands in disbelief. “We can’t believe the effort that went into even putting us into the running… our fans were so fantastic. This was completely their idea. We’re so sorry that we can’t continue to grow with all of you, to keep trying to follow this dream. And most of all, we’re sorry that Scott isn’t standing up here with us today.”</p><p>Matt leaned in, taking over. “I know that everyone loves a good social justice speech, so here we go.” He paused for the audience’s laughter. “Sécors have been overlooked for too long. Effort hasn’t been put into helping them, because it’s a general understanding that they were manmade, and that we should just let them die out. However, that idea comes from people who have never met a sécor. If you knew a sécor, if you knew Scott, for example, this entire conversation would change. So please, do your research on these <em>people, </em>because for God’s sake, that’s what they <em>are</em>, and help us to help them… Scott included.”</p><p>“We’re so honored for this opportunity, and we know that Scott is as well. Thank you!” Kirstie chirped.</p><p>They planted smiles on their faces until they found themselves in the greenroom, alone.</p><p>“I can’t believe we won,” Matt said, monotonously.</p><p>“I can’t believe Scott didn’t come.” Mitch replied.</p><p>“You can’t? That’s not very fair,” Kirstie replied, narrowing her eyes.</p><p>“I know. None of my feelings about Scott are fair, according to you, Kirst.”</p><p>“Not tonight. Please, guys.” Kevin interrupted.</p><p>“Should we try to call him?” Matt asked, sounding unsure.</p><p>Kevin took out his phone and they grouped together closely. He wasn’t sure why. The odds of Scott answering were slim-to-none.</p><p>The FaceTime ring echoed through the greenroom. Their pulses stopped when they heard the click of someone answering.</p><p>“Hey, guys,” Rick’s face appeared on the other side. “Congratulations!”</p><p>He looked exhausted, almost sickly. It reminded Mitch of when Scott was in withdrawal.</p><p>“Thanks, Rick. We were hoping to show Scott…” Kevin replied, a tone of hopeful desperation in his voice.</p><p>Rick allowed his mask to fall, and frowned. “Scott isn’t here, guys. I’m sorry.”</p><p>Kirstie nearly fell apart then and there. “What does that mean?” She whispered.</p><p>“I shouldn’t have said it that way. I meant that he isn’t at the house.” Rick corrected, quickly.</p><p>“Where is he?” Matt asked, trying to be polite, but losing his patience quickly. Rick had said he would fix Scott himself. How could he do that if Scott wasn’t there?</p><p>“Connie and I actually just got back from Arizona. There is a psychiatric hospital with one of the best sécor psychiatrists on record. We’re going to be joining them out there in a few days. But first, we had admit him and allow the staff some time with him. It’s even better than the one in Michigan, that Chris had found for Tyler.”</p><p>“You left him alone in a psych ward?” Matt asked, nearly snapping.</p><p>The thought of Scott, broken and alone, or worse, with people who could hurt him, made Matt want to rip his own hair out.</p><p>“They’re specialists, Matt. They know more about this than I do. They have to look at him in order to help me. I’m trying to learn here, too.”</p><p>“What have you been doing for a whole year, then? Other than keeping him from us?” Matt snapped back.</p><p>Kevin placed a warning hand on his friend’s shoulder. Kevin cringed at the thought of calling him ‘friend’. He and Matt really weren’t friends. Not anymore. None of them were.</p><p>“I’ve been failing miserably,” Rick replied, dejectedly. “I… I’ve gotten nowhere.”</p><p>“So, give him back to us.” Mitch replied. “We’ll keep him comfortable.”</p><p>“He’s comfortable… as comfortable as he can be, Mitch. I know it’s hard, not speaking with him, but it was recommended that he be isolated right now. That was partially the purpose of cutting him off from you. Interactions with you can get… emotional, which could trigger attacks of suicidal ideation.”</p><p>“And social isolation won’t trigger that?” Kevin asked, trying to understand, but realizing quickly that he sounded judgmental.</p><p>Rick nodded. “Isolation has been observed to be best for them. Other than being with other sécors. So, Chris has been coming around, when he can.”</p><p>“What about Niall?” Mitch asked.</p><p>Rick stared at them, silently.</p><p>“I thought you’ve been talking to Chris?” he said after a moment.</p><p>Three of them shook their heads. Kevin felt an overwhelming sense of guilt, suddenly. He had assumed the rest of them knew. They turned to look at him.</p><p>“Niall… died,” Kevin whispered. “I thought you had been talking to Chris, too,” Kevin confessed, quickly.</p><p>Matt seemed to forget that Rick was on the phone at this point, and turned to face Kevin, looking more furious than Kevin had ever seen him. “You knew things that the rest of us didn’t, and you kept it from us? How did he die?”</p><p>Kevin couldn’t find his words.</p><p>“HOW?”</p><p>“…He was attacked by some men in New York City, when he and Chris were still living there. They didn’t… they didn’t rape him… they just… beat him. It was a hate crime. He succumbed to those injuries. Chris says it was quick…”</p><p>They were overwhelmed with anger. Anger at Kevin for keeping this from them, anger at Rick for keeping Scott from them, and anger at Chris for failing at his job of protecting Niall.</p><p>“I… I'm so sorry, guys... I can’t wait to tell Scott about the award. Congratulations, all of you. Can you do me a favor, though, please?” Rick’s voice cut through their thoughts, snapping them back to reality. “Stop fighting. You all mean so much to each other. Don’t push each other away anymore. Knowing that you’re all at each other’s throats? That would kill Scott.”</p><p>Matt certainly didn’t want to cause Scott further harm. But he also couldn’t bring himself to allow these three back into his life. They had all hurt each other too much.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>Matt walked by Scott’s old room without looking at it, for fear that he would break down in tears as he had done so many times before. He entered his own room, throwing his briefcase down on the bed, and ripping off his tie.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He hated his job. He hated being here.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He returned to the kitchen to make himself a cup of coffee. It was the only thing keeping him awake reliably, anymore. Kirstie and Ben entered the kitchen, talking softly, but becoming silent upon seeing Matt.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“I’m moving out,” Matt said quietly, after a moment of awkward silence. Kirstie turned to look at him, an angry expression on her face.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Okay. It was only a matter of time.” Kirstie muttered.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Matt nodded. “Gonna go back to Baltimore. Get my Masters, become a CPA. The original plan.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Yeah, before we fucked it up for you, right?” Ben chimed in.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Well, we’ll be here, waiting for Scott. <b><strong>Our </strong></b>original plan. From 6 months ago, remember?” Kirstie added.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Matt nodded again. “I remember. But I might actually die here if I stay.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Kirstie crossed her arms across her chest. “So go. Forget about him. Forget about us. You’re off to a great start, stomping around here, not talking to anyone. Well done. Scott will be completely out of your mind in no time at this rate, I’m sure.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Matt felt himself snap. “Don’t do that,” he growled. “Don’t pretend to know how I’m feeling. You have no idea what it’s like to be in love with someone who is a thousand miles away, who doesn’t love you back, and who might actually be <b><strong>dead </strong></b>for all you know. You have no idea what it’s like, not to be able to help someone that you would literally <b><strong>die for</strong></b> if you knew it would give him a fighting chance. You have no idea the…” Matt struggled to catch his breath. “The pain that I feel every day, waking up and knowing that he still isn’t in the bed next door. Wondering if he’s in pain, if he’s hurt himself, if someone else has hurt him. You have <b><strong>no. idea.</strong></b>”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“I love him, too, we both do,” Kirstie challenged, as Ben nodded along with her.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Not the way I do,” Matt replied, and walked out of the kitchen with another word.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>That was their last conversation.</p><p>He moved out the next day. Kevin and Leigh followed shortly after, moving to Boston, so Kevin could begin medical school and Leigh could continue her law degree.</p><p>Mitch and Kirstie held on for a bit longer, hating how quickly Kevin and Matt had given up.</p><p>But Kirstie moved out at the 8-month mark, right before Scott’s birthday. She and Ben moved to San Francisco, and Mitch found it ironic that she was running to the same place her parents had run, all of those years ago.</p><p>So now Mitch was living in a shitty apartment, down the street from the house they had shared together, with no direction in life, and no motivation.</p><p>He just wanted them back. He wanted <em>him </em>back. Where had they all gone so wrong?</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0052"><h2>52. Age Thirty-Two, Part I</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I can't believe this story is winding down... I'm really sad about it. :(</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Mitch had had it with this day. He was on thin ice at work. Lack of motivation will do that to a person. So, when he heard the clunking sound emitted from the hood of his car this morning, followed by billowing smoke, he thought about crawling back into bed and trying to forget that he existed, just for a while.</p><p>He returned into his crappy apartment, deciding that making himself a cup of coffee was far more important than calling a towing company, or, you know, contacting work.</p><p>If they fired him, so be it. He would just move on to the next coffee shop gig, like he had done three times already.</p><p>He settled into his tattered couch with his warm cup, and began to scroll through his phone.</p><p>Social media was pretty boring when you had no real friends, Mitch noted.</p><p>Ben and Kirstie had posted a photo of their wedding day.</p><p><em>How sweet, </em>Mitch thought, trying to ignore the pang of hurt that coursed through him for not being invited.</p><p>Why would they invite him? They hadn’t spoken since the night of the Grammys, six years ago.</p><p>That’s right. Six. Years. Ago.</p><p>Alex had posted a photo of himself and Evan on top of a mountain somewhere.</p><p>
  <em>Boring. Next.</em>
</p><p>He paused, and decided to type into the search bar. Just to see.</p><p>
  <em>Scott Hoying.</em>
</p><p>He scrolled through some strange-looking fan accounts, that were short-lived due to their 15 minutes of fame. They had all been discontinued years ago.</p><p>There didn’t seem to be an authentic account for him. He sighed, and typed into the search bar again.</p><p>
  <em>Chris Hemsworth.</em>
</p><p>He looked at the images. None of them had blue eyes and blond hair. Mitch groaned, suddenly aggravated.</p><p>He shouldn’t have been. He went through this routine at least once per month.</p><p>He scrolled to a picture of Kevin holding a little boy, his smile genuine and full of love, and he hated everything all over again.</p><p>Why couldn’t he move on, the way that Kevin had?</p><p>A soft knock on the door disrupted his thoughts. Groaning again, he bounded for the door, muttering about how he “doesn’t want what you’re selling.”</p><p>He was face-to-face with piercing blue eyes a moment later.</p><p>Piercing, electric, beautiful blue eyes.</p><p>Blue eyes that he hadn’t seen in 7 years. Blue eyes that he was convinced he would never see again.</p><p>He was frozen in place, mouth agape, wondering how to function.</p><p>
  <em>Breathe, Mitch, breathe.</em>
</p><p>“Hi, Mitchy,” Scott nearly whispered, bouncing uncomfortably on his feet, and shifting his gaze to look at the floor.</p><p>Mitch nearly died at the sound of his voice. Velvety, smooth, and stunning.</p><p>Chris stepped forward, and Mitch was startled. He hadn’t noticed the other sécor standing there.</p><p>“Are you okay, Mitch?” Chris asked, his Australian accent sounding concerned. “We should have called first, I know, but it said your number had changed. Alex didn’t have your new one either, and he only had this address, so we were hoping you still lived here.”</p><p>“How…” Mitch’s voice was shaking, and he stared at Scott, afraid to take his eyes off of him. Afraid that he would wake up from this dream if he moved too quickly. Most of all, he was afraid to touch him, to reach for a hug, to do <em>anything </em>that would make this hallucination disappear.</p><p>“Can we come in?” Chris asked. “Then Scott can explain everything.”</p><p>Mitch stepped to the side, allowing them to enter, watching Scott’s every move, as he sank into the couch, resting his hands on his own knees.</p><p>He watched as Scott looked around the room with a sad expression on his face. Mitch suddenly felt embarrassed by his lifestyle. It was far from comfortable, he supposed.</p><p>“Um… I don’t really know where to start,” Scott’s low voice started. It sounded healthy, and it sounded like just what Mitch needed right now. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry that I disappeared. It was… I was told… I was told that it was for the best for everyone.”</p><p>He looked so very <em>uncomfortable, </em>and Mitch just wanted to hold him.</p><p>“Last you spoke to my dad, he said he told you that I went to Arizona?” Scott asked. Mitch nodded. “Well… they started to… study me. It was weird. It was… lonely. It was scary. They tried a bunch of therapies. Nothing was working. In fact, I got worse for a while…” Scott trailed off.</p><p>“We almost lost him, quite a few times,” Chris offered, softly, eyeing his friend with concern. He knew how hard this was for Scott to express.</p><p>“So, what happened?”</p><p>“If you don’t mind… can I tell all of you at once? It just might be easier that way…” Scott nearly whispered, looking like thinking about these memories was painful for him.</p><p>Mitch was afraid to know what he had been through, what had worked in fixing him.</p><p>“Can I ask you one question?” Mitch asked, not letting Scott fully off the hook. He needed to know one thing in order to feel fully comfortable with this man again.</p><p>Scott locked eyes with him, and the blue orbs held more emotion than Mitch could stomach. Scott nodded. “Of course you can.”</p><p>“How long ago were you fixed? How long ago did you get your voice back?”</p><p>“That’s two questions, Mitchy,” Scott laughed nervously.</p><p>“I assumed they had the same answer.” Mitch replied.</p><p>“Well…” Scott started, leaning back on the couch again, staring into space, deep in thought. “I got my voice back two years ago.”</p><p>Mitch flinched, feeling betrayal course through him.</p><p>“But I wasn’t fixed, so they didn’t want me to contact anyone. It was still too risky,” Scott said with desperation in his voice. Mitch felt guilty for making him feel like he had to defend his answer, but at the same time, if he said he was fixed in the distant past as well, Mitch might not be able to hide his pain.</p><p>“So… you were fixed…?” Mitch started, unable to bear this conversation for much longer.</p><p>“Two weeks ago.”</p><p>Mitch didn’t even register his own movement, as he leapt into Scott’s arms and nuzzled into his neck, inhaling deeply. He had missed everything about him.</p><p>“Thank you.”</p><p>He felt Scott’s throat vibrate as he laughed, softly. “Thanks for what?”</p><p>“For coming back to me.”</p><p>Scott squeezed him, gently. “It was always my plan to come back to you. All of you. But I’m hearing that it’s going to be harder than I had originally thought.”</p><p>Mitch flinched again, pulling away from the taller man to look into his eyes. “I’m sorry that we weren’t strong enough for you.”</p><p>Scott shook his head. “It was the plan, for you all to move on. That’s why I left. It was for you. Not for me. But I <em>did </em>expect you to at least stay in touch with one another.”</p><p>Mitch’s eyes widened at Scott’s confession. “What do you mean, it was for us?”</p><p>Scott cringed, and it was clear that he had let something slip that he hadn’t meant to. “What I was doing to you was so <em>unfair, </em>Mitch. I couldn’t let you continue to put your lives on hold because of me. I had to get better. Or… or not.”</p><p>“I never moved on.”</p><p>Scott looked around the apartment, confirming Mitch’s statement.</p><p>“I’m sorry for that, Mitchy. To know how much I hurt you… it’s killing me. That’s why I had to come to you first.”</p><p>“You came here first?”</p><p>Scott nodded, clutching Mitch where he was seated in his lap.</p><p>“I’m gonna say it again, okay? Thank you. Thank you for coming back to me.”</p><p> </p><p>“So, who’s next?” Mitch asked the next morning.</p><p>“Kirstie and Ben make the most sense, I guess. We’ll drive up today, I think.”</p><p>“Can…” Mitch started, but couldn’t find his voice to finish.</p><p>“Can what?”</p><p>“Can I… can I come?”</p><p>Scott looked softly at him, and Mitch wanted to go swimming in those beautiful eyes.</p><p>“You were going to come with us whether you wanted to or not, Mitchell.” Scott said, throwing a pillow at him.</p><p>Mitch laughed genuinely for what seemed like the first time in seven years.</p><p>“Can we take your car?” Chris asked.</p><p>“About that…” Mitch started. “She died.“</p><p>“How do you know their address, anyway?” Mitch asked from his spot in the backseat of the rental car, where he was curled up around his favorite person.</p><p>“Chris glanced down at the GPS before answering. “I was invited to the wedding. Their gift registry had their address on it.”</p><p>“You were invited, but I wasn’t?”</p><p>Chris laughed. “I didn’t go, if that helps?”</p><p>“Why not?”</p><p>“I didn’t know how to answer any of your questions. I was asked to keep my mouth shut, and I didn’t know if you were all going to be there. Apparently, Kevin and Matt weren’t invited either.”</p><p>“Kevin didn’t invite us to his wedding, either. Did he invite you?”</p><p>Chris nodded. “Sorry,” he laughed.</p><p>Mitch rolled his eyes. “What about you?” he asked, looking up at his favorite blue eyes. Scott shrugged in response.</p><p>“Wouldn’t know. I guess the invitation would have ended up at home… but I was in Arizona. Probably not, though, if none of you were.”</p><p>Scott sounded sad. Mitch made a mental note to avoid talking about how distant they had all become.</p><p>“We’re here,” Chris announced, turning off the ignition.</p><p>They approached the door quietly. Mitch could feel Scott’s anxiety. It was only then that he realized his own nerves coursing through him, as Scott rang the bell.</p><p>Mitch and Chris stepped back as the door opened. Ben had a polite smile plastered to his lips, that was quickly replaced when his jaw came unhinged and his chin nearly hit the ground.</p><p>Scott opened his mouth to speak, but he was interrupted by the door slamming in his face so hard, Mitch could swear the house shook on its frame.</p><p>Scott stood rooted in his spot on the doorstep. Chris leaned forward, placing a steadying hand on his back. “It’s okay. It’s okay… we just… surprised him, I’m sure. Let’s come back later.”</p><p>But the door opened again, and Kirstie launched herself into his arms.</p><p>Scott thought back to the dorms, when she was in this exact spot in his arms, sobbing against him.</p><p>He heard her choked sob, and clutched her to him, powerfully. Ben leaned against the doorframe, smiling at him, but noticed his two companions after a moment.</p><p>“Chris, Mitch… hi.”</p><p>Mitch stepped forward, embracing Ben in a hug. Ben hesitated for a moment, but after eyeing a clearly <em>healthy </em>Scott in his periphery, he embraced his estranged friend.</p><p>Scott laughed gently, but stopped when Kirstie didn’t move in his arms. In fact, her breathing became erratic, and she squeezed him so tightly he thought he might burst.</p><p>“It’s okay. It’s okay,” Scott whispered, running his fingers through her hair. “I’m okay.”</p><p>She sobbed harder, and Ben stepped in to assist.</p><p>“He’s okay, Kirst, take a look,” he whispered, placing a hand on her back to let her know he was there for support.</p><p>“Just breathe, deep breaths, Kirstie. It’s okay.” Scott urged.</p><p>She withdrew and slapped him on the chest, which made him jump.</p><p>“How could you surprise us like this?” She asked, eyeing Mitch and Chris behind him, before returning her gaze to Scott’s healthy form in front of her.</p><p>“All of you changed your numbers. I mean, who does that nowadays?” Scott joked, as they were led into the house.</p><p>Kirstie was invading his personal space for the entirety of the visit, basically sprawled across his lap, and breaking into random sobs as they talked.</p><p>Scott could feel Ben’s gaze on him, unwavering, and Scott couldn’t help but feel uncomfortable by it. Unsure if he was angry, or annoyed with Kirstie’s closeness to him in the moment, Scott wasn’t sure how to act.</p><p>Kirstie excused herself for a moment, offering drinks for the group.</p><p>Ben was still staring.</p><p>“How are you, Ben?” Scott asked, and it was as though he had woken his old friend up from a nap with his eyes open.</p><p>“What? Oh… good. Good. Great.”</p><p>“If you’d like us to leave, I completely understand,” Scott replied, trying to convey his sincerity in his voice. He really hadn’t meant to intrude.</p><p>“Of course not, Scott,” Ben’s replied, his eyes narrowed in confusion. “Why would I want you to leave?”</p><p>Scott laughed, feeling some of the tension lift from the room. “You slammed a door in my face, for one? And now you kind of look like you’re trying to figure out where to bury our bodies when you’re done with us.”</p><p>“Do I? Oh God… I’m sorry.” Ben responded, looking embarrassed. “I’m just trying to wrap my head around this. Around you. I had convinced myself that I would never see you again.”</p><p>Scott wasn’t sure if he fully accepted this answer, but he let the subject drop, anyway.</p><p>He filled them in on everything he had told Mitch. Ben stared at him with a blank expression for the entirety of the conversation. Scott repeated his request to tell the story of how he was fixed only once.</p><p>Kirstie was an emotional mess for all of it. Scott hated it. He hated doing this to them.</p><p> </p><p>“Who’s next on your ‘Back from the Dead’ World Tour?” Ben asked the next morning.</p><p>Scott laughed. “Matt, I think.”</p><p>Kirstie cringed.</p><p>“What was that for?” Chris asked.</p><p>“Nothing. He was just… the first one to bail.” Kirstie replied, staring at the floor, as her eyes welled with tears.</p><p>“It wasn’t bailing, Kirst. None of you bailed.” Scott reassured her.</p><p>“We gave up. How could you not believe that?” Kristie asked, her voice wavering.</p><p>“Moving on with your lives isn’t bailing, and it isn’t giving up. Please don’t beat yourselves up over this,” Scott soothed.</p><p>“When are you going?” Ben asked.</p><p>“Today. Our flight is at 3.” Chris replied.</p><p>“Just you two?”</p><p>Chris nodded. The other three glanced at one another.</p><p>“I’m not comfortable with that,” Ben added.</p><p>“Me neither,” Mitch said, his eyes wide.</p><p>“Why not? We got to you guys okay.” Scott said, raising an eyebrow.</p><p>“Two sécors traveling together? Alone? Please don’t make us worry about you guys like that. I’m going to see if there are any more seats available.” Ben poked at his phone for a few minutes. “Got them. I’m booking them.”</p><p>He held out his phone to Chris, who nodded. “That’s the flight. Feel free to join us, I guess.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I have (what I think are) good explanations for how they got his voice back, and how they were able to fix him. I'm excited for you guys to read why and how... I thought it was creative but I hope no one thinks it's dumb. lol :)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0053"><h2>53. Thirty-Two, Part II</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Sorry I didn't update last night... Got a crazy case of vertigo yesterday and fell down my stairs... whoops. Anyhoo... I get vertigo often and when I do, I'm usually incapacitated for a day or so, particularly because looking at a screen makes it reaaaallly bad. If I ever go missing, that's probably what happened.</p><p> So to make it up to you, I posted early today!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>They went straight to a hotel when they arrived in Baltimore. “Way to split up to different ends of the universe,” Scott mumbled, rolling his eyes. “That took all day.”</p><p>They split up into two rooms. Mitch shifted uncomfortably, wanting desperately to share a room with Scott, but feeling nervous to be so close to him.</p><p>“Mitch’ll come with us.” Scott said as they split up, grabbing Mitch by the elbow and gesturing to the door that Chris was unlocking.</p><p>Mitch tried to ignore the thumping of his heart in his chest like a drum when Scott offered to share the bed with him. He died a little bit inside when Scott reached out and pulled him close to his chest when he noticed that Mitch was tossing and turning.</p><p>He fell asleep more comfortably almost as soon as Scott’s arms wrapped around him, and he slept more soundly than he had in seven years.</p><p> </p><p>Once again, they were standing on a doorstep the following day.</p><p>Scott had assumed that it would get easier, but his heart was pounding once again, as if it might give out, as he reached out to knock on the door of the quaint-looking townhouse.</p><p>The door opened slowly, and Scott’s breath hitched in his throat.</p><p>“Sarah… hi.” His voice came out as a surprised squeak.</p><p>She stood in the doorway with a blank expression that rivaled Ben’s, the day before.</p><p>“Hi, guys…” she started, appearing to be a mixture of uncomfortable and angry. “Now isn’t really a good time… we have company.”</p><p>“Who is it, darling?” a familiar, warm voice sounded behind her. A moment later, Mrs. Sallee was peering over her shoulder. She emitted a mixture of a squeal and a gasp when she laid eyes on the group of them. “Thank goodness,” she muttered as she pulled Scott in for a bone-crushing hug. She sounded like she might be on the verge of tears.</p><p>“Hi, Mrs. Sallee,” Scott said, trying to make his voice sound bright and friendly. “Long time no see.” He cringed at the stupid comment as it left his lips.</p><p>“Come in, come in!” Tammy offered, pulling him by the wrist.</p><p>“Oh, no. We don’t want to interrupt. Maybe tell Matt we’ll come by later? We don’t want to intrude.”</p><p>“Please. It isn’t an intrusion. It’s a wonderful surprise.” She pulled on him again, not stopping to apologize as she caused him to brush against Sarah in the process, knocking her out of the way.</p><p>She essentially threw Scott into the kitchen, right in the direction of a dumbfounded Matt.</p><p>Once again, Scott couldn’t read his expression. He wasn’t sure what to do.</p><p>“Hey.” He said, pathetically.</p><p>Matt was silent. Painfully so.</p><p>“Honey, greet your friends,” Tammy urged.</p><p>“I… hi.” Matt finally said, shakily.</p><p>“Let me make coffee,” Tammy said, excitedly, and scurried away.</p><p>He embraced each of them rigidly, stopping briefly before he came to the last one: Scott.</p><p>“I’m glad you’re okay,” Matt mumbled, holding out his hand.</p><p>Scott eyed the offered handshake, feeling his heart break as he took it.</p><p>“Thanks.”</p><p>“So, what brings you by?” Matt asked, icily.</p><p>Scott wasn’t sure how to reply.</p><p>Should he throw a sassy response at the man? Something like, “Oh, I don’t know, letting you know I’m alive? Seeing if you still cared about me at all?” was on the tip of his tongue, but he held it in.</p><p>“Just wanted to see how you were. I… I just got better,” he replied, instead. “I wanted to see all of you… so I’m making the rounds. These three decided to join in.” Scott added, his voice friendly. “Glad to see you two together. We missed you, Sarah.”</p><p>She simply nodded, appearing as uncomfortable as Scott felt.</p><p>“Anyway… Our next stop is Kevin, have you seen him?” Scott asked, knowing that Kevin had been the closest to this stranger who was standing in front of him.</p><p>Matt shook his head. “Not since the Grammys.”</p><p>“It’s a real shame, how you all fell apart at the seams. It’s tragic.” Tammy chimed in, passing a cup of coffee to Scott, who accepted it only to be polite. In reality, he wanted to drop the coffee cup and leave, annoyed that he had made this trip at all.</p><p>Tammy led them to the living room, and they all sat stiffly on the couches. Scott noted that Kirstie, Ben, Mitch and Chris hadn’t even spoken yet. He shot them a pleading look as they each sat clutching their coffee cups, looking like hostages.</p><p>“Talk to them,” Tammy muttered in Matt’s ear, before returning to the kitchen. “Sarah, come help me.”</p><p>Sarah rolled her eyes and followed the older woman.</p><p>“How dare you?”</p><p>You could hear a pin drop in the room after those words were uttered.</p><p>“Excuse me?” Mitch asked, clearly losing control.</p><p>“I’m not talking to you. How dare <em>you?” </em>Matt asked, narrowing his eyes at Scott.</p><p>“Don’t you dare.” Ben warned, placing his cup on the table.</p><p>“You abandoned us. We didn’t know if you were alive or dead for <em>seven years, </em>and you walk back in here like nothing ever happened? Like this is a fucking <em>ten-year reunion? </em>Fuck that. Fuck you.”</p><p>“In fairness, I didn’t know if I was alive or dead for seven years, either. Not consistently, anyway,” Scott snapped back, holding up a hand to prevent Chris from launching at his attacker. “Sorry that I inconvenienced you.”</p><p>Matt’s eyes narrowed, and it looked as though he might break his coffee cup within his harsh grip.</p><p>“Inconvenienced? I adored you… <em>unhealthily</em> so. You knew that, and you left. You left me. It almost killed me.”</p><p>“It almost killed <em>you?” </em>Kirstie started. “What do you think Scott was doing? Plotting against you? Laughing at your pain? Matt, he was <em>dying. </em>He had no say in what went on with all of us.<em>”</em></p><p>Matt opened and closed his mouth a few times, “I’m finally over you. Over this.” Matt gestured around the room. “Why did you have to come here and open up that wound?”</p><p>He stood up, rubbing the back of his neck. “I’m glad you’re alive, Scott. I really am. But please… all of you. I need to be left alone. Sarah and I need to be left alone.”</p><p>Scott stood as well, reaching out his hand. Matt accepted it, shaking it firmly. “Good luck with everything,” Scott nearly whispered, trying to remain strong.</p><p>The rest of them left wordlessly.</p><p>Matt shut the door as Tammy and Sarah approached.</p><p>“Why did they leave already?” Tammy asked.</p><p>“I asked them to. I asked them to stay away from us.” Matt replied.</p><p>“Why?” Matt was surprised by the source of the question, and turned to face his girlfriend.</p><p>“What do you mean, why?”</p><p>“Why did you tell them to stay away? You don’t want to try again? They meant so much to you.” Her voice was soft and understanding, and Matt wondered where this gentleness was coming from.</p><p>“I thought you would be happy that I stuck up for us,” Matt replied, softly. “For you.”</p><p>Tammy raised an eyebrow. “Sounds to me like Sarah doesn’t agree with that.”</p><p>“They hurt us. They hurt you,” Matt replied, ignoring his mother.</p><p>“They didn’t do anything to me, Matt. My own insecurities did. We’ve talked about this. Your friends were never anything other than kind to me, <em>especially</em> Scott.”</p><p>“He almost ruined us. He did ruin us.”</p><p>“He didn’t do anything, Matt. You know that. And I hope you realize that what has happened, between you and me or otherwise, was not his fault.”</p><p>Matt wasn’t sure why he felt the stinging in the back of his eyes, or why he was clenching his fists, which were now shaking with his bottled-up emotion.</p><p>“I don’t know how to let them back in.”</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Three Months Earlier:</em>
</p><p>Kevin beamed at his son as he bounded towards him at the end of the day. The small boy launched himself into the man’s arms, giggling uncontrollably.</p><p>“Hey, Gabriel. How was your day?” Kevin asked, his enthusiasm dripping from his voice as he looked adoringly into his son’s eyes.</p><p>“Good! I made a friend!” the little voice replied, and Kevin let him go, grabbing his hand instead, and straightening out the wrinkles in his own scrubs. He hadn’t had a chance to change after his shift at the hospital, yet.</p><p>“Oh yeah?” Kevin smiled at Gabriel’s preschool teacher, who had walked him outside. “And what’s your friend’s name?”</p><p>Gabriel looked up at his teacher for assistance. Kevin couldn’t help but laugh at the toddler’s forgetfulness.</p><p>“His name is Lucas, right, Gabriel?” She asked, happily. “They really hit it off. Might be nice to schedule a play date? Lucas’ family is new in town.”</p><p>“That sounds great. Would you like to have Lucas over one day soon?” Kevin asked. Gabriel nodded, and clapped his hands excitedly.</p><p>“Oh… hang on.” The teacher said, looking over Kevin’s shoulder. “Here’s his mother. Mrs. Jacobs!”</p><p>A pretty woman walked over, smiling politely. “Uh oh, what did Lucas do?” She asked, lightly.</p><p>“Mr. Olusola, this is Mrs. Jacobs. Mrs. Jacobs, I was just telling Mr. Olusola about your son’s new friendship with his son, Gabriel.” The teacher said.</p><p>“Oh… it’s nice to meet you.” She looked uncomfortable as she shook his hand. Kevin chose to overlook this strange behavior.</p><p>“We’d love to arrange a playdate, if you’re available?” Kevin asked politely, as Gabriel clutched his leg, eagerly.</p><p>“Oh…” she looked past him, and he turned to find a small boy coming closer. “Here he is. Hi, Lukey!”</p><p>A mop of blond hair was in her arms and she placed a kiss to his temple, rocking him gently. “I hear you have a new friend,” she whispered, and Kevin heard the boy giggle.</p><p>She put him down, and that’s when Kevin became speechless.</p><p>Vibrant, blue eyes.</p><p>Kevin coughed to cover up the hitch in his breath.</p><p>“You can tell.” Mrs. Jacobs said softly, as they watched the boys chatter with one another.</p><p>“Excuse me?” Kevin asked, panicking.</p><p>“I understand if you don’t want to have him over anymore.” Mrs. Jacobs said, monotonously.</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“I assure you… though he looks very strongly of one… he’s human. Only 25% sécor, actually.” She rationalized, as though trying to convince Kevin that the boy was worth his son’s time.</p><p>“Please. There’s no need to explain,” Kevin said, giving the teacher a look that said, “You can go,” and she turned on her heel and scampered away, quickly. “We would love to have Lucas over. Anytime. And you as well, of course.”</p><p>She looked surprised, and it broke Kevin’s heart. “Is Dad… is Dad a sécor, then?” Kevin asked, hoping that she didn’t think he was being nosey.</p><p>Mrs. Jacobs shook her head. “We adopted Luke as an infant. His father was broken during the Census… managed to live pretty normally, get married, and have Lucas, but he succumbed to the effects of breaking right after Luke was born. From what I understand, it was too painful for his biological mother, and we received him through a closed adoption.”</p><p>He watched as the little blond boy played happily with his son. He blinked away tears, feeling like he was staring at a baby version of an old friend.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>Present Day:</em>
</p><p>Kevin flipped the burgers and sipped his beer. Leigh was inside with Shannon Jacobs. Shannon’s husband, Andrew, had just run off to check on the boys, who had wandered around the side of the house. Kevin watched as he ushered them back into the backyard.</p><p>“They’re like cattle, I swear,” Andrew called, laughing.</p><p>Kevin laughed, truly enjoying the moment. It was rare that he felt this <em>normal. </em>The Jacobs family had quickly become close friends, and these barbecues were becoming a frequent weekend event.</p><p>Leigh poured another glass of wine for her friend as they laughed at their view of their husbands and children outside. She turned to take out the vegetables from the oven, and was flipping them when the doorbell rang.</p><p>“I’ll get it, if you’d like. You keep flipping,” Shannon said, smiling as the boys came barreling through the back door, clutching their action figures.</p><p>“That’d be great. Tell them we don’t want any!” Leigh yelled from her place halfway into the oven.</p><p>Shannon opened the door and was rendered speechless.</p><p>“…Hi! I’m so sorry. I think we may have the wrong address.”</p><p>“…You’re…” Shannon thought back to the photos on the mantle, and the countless stories that Kevin had told. She knew exactly who this was, but she wasn’t sure how it was possible. “You’re in the right place.”</p><p>Scott shot her a questioning look, and remained still, as Shannon felt small arms wrap around her leg.</p><p>“Mommy… he has eyes like me.”</p><p>Shannon picked up her son and held him close. When she looked back at the man on the doorstep, his blue eyes were wide.</p><p>“That’s right, baby, he’s lucky to have pretty eyes, just like you.”</p><p>“That guy, too!” Lucas yelled, pointing to Chris. Chris smiled back, looking as though he was fighting tears.</p><p>“Please. Come in. Kevin and Leigh are here, I promise,” Shannon said with a shaky voice, holding Lucas in her arms as she led the group inside.</p><p>Chris pushed past Scott to go first. Scott laughed gently, knowing that Chris must think this was some sort of trap.</p><p>“What did they-“ Scott heard Leigh before he turned the corner. “…want.” Leigh finished, breathlessly.</p><p>She stared at him for what felt like an eternity.</p><p>Then, she nearly threw her wine glass down and crossed the kitchen floor, throwing her arms around him.</p><p>“How? When? Where were…” she muttered, unable to catch her breath as she let him go and ran her hands through his hair. “Talk.” She said, desperately.</p><p>“Hi, Leigh.” Scott said, quietly. She clasped a hand over her mouth, stifling a sob.</p><p>She hugged the rest of them frantically, before grabbing Scott’s hand and leading him outside in a near-sprint.</p><p>“Kev, honey?” She said, shakily, as she led Scott closer, the group following closely.</p><p>“You okay?” Kevin asked as he turned, concerned by the tone of her voice. Once he saw the man with whom her fingers were intertwined, he was instantly dizzy. Andrew reached a hand forward to steady him as he swayed on his feet.</p><p>Andrew’s grip wasn’t fast enough, and Kevin was suddenly on his knees.</p><p>And he had no idea when he had started sobbing uncontrollably, either.</p><p>He wasn’t sure how much time had passed. All he could hear was the pumping of his own blood through his head.</p><p>He was afraid to look up. He was afraid that his mind was playing tricks on him, that the group was there, and that he had simply placed Scott in the image out of wishful thinking.</p><p>A hand on his shoulder nearly made him fall completely apart.</p><p>“Kev. Look at me?”</p><p>It was a voice that he thought he would never hear again. Soft, low, soothing.</p><p>He looked up into blue eyes that made him forget how to breathe, and he was embraced in strong arms a moment later.</p><p>“It’s over, it’s okay,” Scott whispered.</p><p>“How are you here?” Kevin asked through his sobs, clutching at the man’s shirt in an attempt to keep him close.</p><p> </p><p>After the initial shock had died down, Kevin realized that his son was nowhere to be found. Andrew and Lucas were missing as well.</p><p>“Andrew took the kids inside. He didn’t want Gabriel to worry about you,” Leigh whispered as Kevin finished hugging the last of his old friends, trying to ignore Matt’s absence.</p><p>He sat next to Scott on the back step, willing himself not to burst into uncontrollable tears all over again. “Can you go get him?” He asked Leigh. She nodded, understandingly.</p><p>“Come here,” Kevin said softly when his son emerged. He embraced the four-year-old in his arms and turned the small boy to face his old friend.</p><p>“Gabriel, this is Scott. He’s my very best friend.” Kevin said, his voice breaking. Scott looked at the boy fondly, and Gabriel’s eyes lit up.</p><p>“Scott, this is my son. Gabriel Scott Olusola.”</p><p>“Why would… why would you do that?” Scott whispered, his eyes filling with tears.</p><p>Gabriel smiled back at him. “Uncle Scott, we have the same name!” the boy sounded proud, and to hear him call him family nearly made Scott fall apart altogether.</p><p>Kevin smiled and hugged his son tightly. “Because they say you should name your child after someone who you hope they will emulate. Scott, I pray that my kid grows up to have even a fraction of your strength.”</p><p>Watching the new information register on Scott’s face was one of the most heartwarming things that Kevin had ever seen.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0054"><h2>54. Age Thirty-Two, Part III</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Working from home this week, so I figured I could continue the streak of getting these chapters out early! (Early for me, in Eastern Standard Time, at least, lol)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“So… Matt’s next?” Kevin asked, later that night, after the Jacobs family had departed and Gabriel had been tucked into bed.</p><p>Chris shook his head, an angry look flashing across his features. “Already wasted time on that.”</p><p>Kevin was shellshocked for a moment. He blinked at Scott. “You… you saw him? What happened?”</p><p>It was hard to believe that Matt hadn’t chosen to be here. To be with Scott.</p><p>Scott shook his head as well, but his grimace was one of sadness instead of anger. “He… he wants to move on. He doesn’t want to take steps backwards.”</p><p>“That’s selfish,” Kevin said, quickly.</p><p>“It’s really not,” Scott replied.</p><p>“It is,” the rest of them chorused.</p><p>Kevin could see a frustrated flush creeping up Scott’s cheeks, and he wished he could read his mind.</p><p>“It’s not. He didn’t ask for this. He didn’t sign up for me to bound in and out of his life, flipping it upside down just as he gets his footing. That’s not fair. It isn’t fair to any of you, really.”</p><p>“If you hadn’t come here? If I had heard from anyone else? Scott, the devastation I would feel would be unfathomable.”</p><p>“And that’s your right. But Kev, it’s also his right to want to move on,” Scott replied, shooting him a desperate look, as though begging him to drop it.</p><p>“So, Scott. You said you wanted to wait to tell the story once,” Mitch interjected, and Scott really wished that they could break the tension with <em>any other topic.</em></p><p>“What story?” Leigh asked, handing Scott a drink and sitting on the opposite couch from where he sat next to Kevin.</p><p>“How he was fixed,” Kirstie replied.</p><p>Scott shot Chris a cryptic look, and the group automatically braced themselves. Kevin placed a hand between Scott’s shoulder blades as he placed his head in his hands.</p><p>“Take it slow. As slow as you need. We’re here for you,” Kevin soothed.</p><p>“When I went to Arizona, it was a bit... touch-and-go.” Scott started. Removing his hands from his face and staring at them where they lay in his lap instead. “They started studying me right away, but I could never be alone. I was… I had become one of the worst cases they had seen, between the seizures, and the pheromones, and the suicidal ideations several times every day… I became a drain on the system. They were losing money so fast, using so much of their staff just on me. So they started to take… more drastic measures. My dad didn’t like it, and tried to fight some of it, but they eventually convinced him it was okay.”</p><p>Kevin squinted his eyes. Rick was no imbecile, no pushover. How had they managed that?</p><p>“A year was pretty much lost. They had all put so much trust into this one doctor, who was so highly acclaimed. They were convinced that he would be the one to crack the code, but he never really had any intention of helping me.”</p><p>“<em>Please </em>don’t tell me he was hurting you.” Ben said.</p><p>Scott flinched and Kevin’s heart broke. “He… had convinced everyone that I needed two daily counseling sessions each day. Let’s just say that no counseling took place.”</p><p>“Why didn’t you say anything?” Mitch asked, his eyes wide.</p><p>“I was mute, for one,” Scott replied, a bite to his voice that didn’t go unnoticed, in response to the judgmental question. “And apathetic, to boot. I was a bit distracted, trying to figure out how to kill myself, you know?” Scott glared at Mitch, whose eyes softened.</p><p>“Anyway… eventually, he got sloppy. A nurse noticed marks on my body and called attention to them to my dad. They figured it out and took me out of the doctor’s care. So now, think of this as like… two years into breaking. One at home, then one at the facility. But they were still desperate for a breakthrough, so they started pumping me with different cocktails of drugs, doing everything from hypnosis to hydrotherapy. Chelation, the works. Nothing stuck, obviously.”</p><p>Kevin’s heart dropped. “Hydrotherapy? Chelation? Scott…”</p><p>“I know. Stupid options. So that gets us into year three, when Chris moved to be closer to me, after finding out about what that doctor had been doing… and that’s also when they proposed the shock therapy.”</p><p>Kevin sputtered on his drink.</p><p>“Four hours each day, 15-minute sessions with two-minute breaks in between. My dad wouldn’t attend the sessions. They were too… hard to watch. And Chris wasn’t allowed.” Scott added, shooting Chris a look. Everyone turned to look at Chris, who looked like he might start to cry.</p><p>“Sometime in the third month, right before the last 15-minute session of the day, I found myself screaming. Then suddenly, I started begging. Words were just pouring from my mouth, like a switch had turned back on.”</p><p>Kevin clenched his eyes shut. He had almost wished that shock therapy hadn’t been what worked. The fact that it had only gave it more clout, making the unethical practice more likely to be used on others.</p><p>“They… tortured you, to get you to speak?” Kirstie whispered.</p><p>Kevin realized he was squeezing Scott’s hand in a vice-like grip. He loosened it, and muttered an apology.</p><p>“Chris, how could you let them?” Kevin rasped.</p><p>Scott shook his head, not allowing Chris to defend himself. “It’s okay, Kev. At least it worked, right?”</p><p>Kevin wasn’t sure that it was worth it. He thought of the pain that Scott must have suffered during those sessions, and was filled with anger.</p><p>“So, for the two years since…?” Mitch urged, looking white as a sheet.</p><p>“I was a nightmare to deal with.” Scott replied. Chris wouldn’t make eye contact, leaving the group with a sense of dread and confusion.</p><p>“He was restrained. More often than not. It was the only way to keep him safe. It was like he was stuck in a permanent state of suicidal ideation. He tried everything in order to end it. I felt so bad… part of me…” Chris’ eyes welled with tears. “Part of me wanted to put him out of his misery.”</p><p>Kevin thanked God that he hadn’t allowed that to happen.</p><p>“How did they fix you, Scott?” Kevin asked, afraid to know the answer.</p><p>Scott was silent for a touch too long.</p><p>“I died.”</p><p>There was Kevin’s vice grip on Scott’s hand again. He couldn’t help it.</p><p>“Technically, anyway,” Scott continued. “They… stopped my heart. They made sure I was strong enough first, and waited only for as long as they thought I could handle before resuscitating me…”</p><p>“Your dad… Chris… you… allowed that?” Leigh asked in disbelief.</p><p>“I think, at this point, my dad had similar sentiments to Chris, to be honest. Either it would work, or it would put me out of my misery.”</p><p>Scott looked up with tears threatening to fall. Kevin’s heart broke at the idea of people close to him giving up on him like that.</p><p>How could Chris have given up on him like that?</p><p>Kevin would have never given up on him like that. He never gave up on Scott for a second. Sure, he had been living his life, but there had always been hope in his heart.</p><p>“So, it was like a hard reboot of a computer… the old ‘unplug it for ten seconds’ trick?” Scott laughed uncomfortably. “But I was technically dead for longer than that…” Scott pulled his hand from Kevin’s grasp, and fiddled with a ring on his right hand to keep his hands busy. It was clear that he wanted the conversation to be over. “It did work. The next morning, I had been fixed. Like… reset. Back to factory settings.” Scott smiled, uneasily.</p><p>“That’s an amazing breakthrough,” Leigh offered, softly. “You paved the way for so many others. You should be so proud of yourself, Scotty.”</p><p>Scott was silent.</p><p>“How’s your heart now, Scott?” Kevin asked, nervously.</p><p>“It’s okay. I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t.” Scott reassured him.</p><p>“And your seizures?”</p><p>“Gone,” Scott said, smiling softly. “The reset must have fixed whatever went haywire there, too.”</p><p>“That’s… kind of a miracle…” Kevin replied in disbelief. Everything in his medical experience told him that this really was just that. Scott shouldn’t be here, and he certainly shouldn’t be this healthy.</p><p>“Maybe for a human. But for a sécor, I guess there are different laws of nature,” Chris reasoned, not taking his eyes off of the other sécor, as though he was transfixed.</p><p>“And… your count?” Mitch asked.</p><p>“Zero.” Scott replied.</p><p>“Thank God for that,” Ben muttered. “Can we try to keep it that way?”</p><p>Scott laughed. “I’ll do my best.”</p><p> </p><p>Chris felt Ben’s presence before he sat down, late that night. Their hotel rooms had an adjoining balcony, and he supposed that the sliding glass door must have woken the other man.</p><p>“Can’t sleep?” Ben muttered, taking a seat at the small table.</p><p>Chris shook his head. “I don’t sleep so well, anymore.”</p><p>They sat in silence for a minute, looking at the lights in the distance.</p><p>“You’re a pretty spectacular person. Did you know that?” Ben asked, clearly surprising the sécor next to him.</p><p>“Why do you say that?”</p><p>“It’s just incredible how strong you are. Here you are, with pretty much the entirety of the world against you, and you've overcome so much. You defend and take care of everyone, putting yourself last all the time. It’s amazing.”</p><p>Chris shook his head. “If I were so amazing, there would still be seven of them. Not just Scott.”</p><p>“Those guys weren’t your fault. I hope you know that. And it would seem that you had a huge part in saving Scott’s life in that hospital.”</p><p>“I did nothing. I just watched, hopelessly, as he tried to kill himself over and over again.”</p><p>Ben watched as Chris’ eyes glimmered with tears, and he blinked them away.</p><p>“I can’t imagine what you saw.”</p><p>“You don’t want to. He was… he was more than broken. He was destroyed. I watched him slip further and further from me, every damn day. And I couldn’t do anything to stop it. I couldn’t do anything to take his pain. I wanted <em>so goddamn badly </em>to take his pain away…”</p><p>Chris’ fist was clenched in a tight fist, and Ben’s heart broke for him.</p><p>“And they would just… come. And take him from me… every day. And I <em>knew. </em>I knew what they were doing. I knew that they were <em>torturing him,</em> but I was so damn <em>selfish </em>and I just prayed that the ends would justify the means…”</p><p>Chris’ voice was shaking now. “And he would return to me, and I would just clutch onto him, for as long as I was allowed… which was never for very long. And he wouldn’t try to speak. He wouldn’t type. He wouldn’t even look at me. He would just… stare out into the distance. I was so terrified that he was brain damaged…”</p><p>He was pounding softly on the table, and it was unfair how he was clearly blaming himself.</p><p>“I would sit on this bench. Right outside the ‘therapy room’,” Chris placed air quotes around the words. “One day… his scream pierced through the closed door, and I was on my feet in an instant, pounding on that door with all of my might. And I just heard him… ‘Please… please stop… Please don’t do this… I’ll do anything, just please don’t hurt me…’”</p><p>Chris began to sob, and wiped at his face frantically. Ben pulled his chair closer and pulled Chris against him.</p><p>“I don’t know if the ends justified the means… he got so much worse… I almost lost him…” Chris whispered. “He got his voice back… but it was like he became <em>more </em>broken…”</p><p>Ben held him like that for a while, unable to fathom how Chris could bear to sleep at all, after all that he had witnessed.</p><p> </p><p>Kevin watched out the back window the next morning, as he sipped his coffee. Scott was chasing Gabriel around the back yard, up to the tree house and down the slide. Gabriel grinned from ear to ear, and his laughter was constant.</p><p>“I haven’t seen you this happy in years,” Leigh whispered, startling him.</p><p>“That’s not true. I’ve been plenty happy.” Kevin defended.</p><p>“Not like this. You’ve been guarded. Happy, yes, but not this carefree. It’s nice to see.”</p><p>“That,” Kevin said, pointing at his son, who was slung over Scott’s shoulder now, laughing hysterically, “<em>That</em> is nice to see. He’ll make such a good dad, one day.”</p><p>“That’s not going to happen,” Chris’ sad voice sounded from the doorway. Kevin’s shoulders slumped as Chris stood next to him, gazing at their friend through the glass.</p><p>“Why do you say that?” Kevin said, a challenging tone to his voice.</p><p>“He would never.”</p><p>Kevin’s heart ached. “Never say never.”</p><p>“Well, we’ve discussed it, and he’s pretty adamant.”</p><p>The ache became stronger, and Kevin placed his palm to his own chest, rubbing at the painful pang.</p><p>“I don’t think I understand,” Leigh replied.</p><p>“He… doesn’t want to perpetuate the sécor species.”</p><p>“But the child would be human. Twenty-five percent.”</p><p>“That’s twenty-five percent more than Scott is willing to pass along.” Chris sighed. “Yes, <em>now </em>25% is human. But what about when the 50% sécors die out? Who’s to say that won’t change to fit the human agenda? There’s too much gray area. The last thing that Scott wants to do is bring suffering to anybody. He wants us to die out. End of story.”</p><p>“You sound like you don’t agree.”</p><p>“If anyone should reproduce in this world, it’s someone as wonderful as him,” Chris replied, softly. “But he doesn’t even want to be with anyone, anyway.”</p><p>“That could change. Maybe he’ll meet someone,” Kevin said, hopefully, secretly hoping it would be a woman so he wouldn’t have to worry.</p><p>Chris shook his head. “Even if he does, he won’t act on it. He’s <em>also </em>adamant about that. Sort of a post-traumatic stress over how he tore Matt and Mitch apart. He’s pretty much vowed to be alone.”</p><p>“I’ve never hated something you’ve said more than I do right now,” Kevin whispered.</p><p>“Matt’s reaction to seeing him again certainly didn’t help. Neither did seeing how Mitch has been living.” Chris added.</p><p>“I could kill Matt… I swear…” Kevin muttered. He had been angry with Matt for nearly seven years, but never quite like this.</p><p>“Hey, hun?” Leigh whispered, snapping him out of his thoughts. “Go save your son before he wets his pants.”</p><p>Kevin watched as Scott held Gabriel by the ankles and swung him around while the little boy began to turn red with giggles.</p><p>“Good point,” Kevin laughed, handing her his cup and joining the duo in the back. She watched fondly as Scott put Gabriel down and he ran into his father’s arms.</p><p>She could get used to this new normal.</p><p>She dreaded the inevitable day when Kevin’s friends would have to leave again.</p>
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<a name="section0055"><h2>55. Age Thirty-Three</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Um. Well. Enjoy. And... uh... please note that I never end stories the same way more than once. That's all I will say. Please send me some love today because lord knows you'll hate me tomorrow. *Slinks away*</p><p>In other news: SMUT! You're very welcome.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“How’s it going in here?” Chris’ voice rang softly from the doorway of Scott’s new bedroom.</p><p>“Good. Almost done,” Scott replied, smiling at the broader sécor.</p><p>“Good. Well, when you’re done unpacking, let’s get food. I’m ravenous.”</p><p>“You’re always ravenous.”</p><p>“I’m a growing boy,” Chris replied, raising an eyebrow and rubbing his stomach.</p><p>Sharing an apartment with Chris was certainly going to put a strain on Scott’s bank account, considering how much he ate on a daily basis. Luckily, Scott’s parents had already assured them that they were taken care of until they found jobs that paid well and that they felt safe with.</p><p>They were also down the street from Mitch, which was a nice feature of the new arrangement.</p><p>“Here you go,” Scott said, passing Chris a bowl of… well, Chris wasn’t entirely sure what it was.</p><p>“…the hell…?”</p><p>“Listen. It’s gonna be good,” Scott replied, laughing.</p><p>Chris stirred the contents in the bowl. It smelled okay, he supposed. But it looked like… well, he couldn’t blame Scott. He hadn’t really had much time to cultivate his culinary skills as of late.</p><p>But he took a bite and was pleasantly surprised.</p><p>“Sorry,” Chris said after downing half of the bowl. Scott simply smirked. “This is actually very good.”</p><p>“Don’t judge a book by its cover, Chrissy,” Scott said, his eyes glimmering with happiness.</p><p>Chris felt his heart flutter.</p><p> </p><p>Chris awoke in the middle of the night to the glow of the TV in the living room through the crack of his bedroom door. He looked at the clock. It was 4am. Suddenly overwhelmed with concern, he decided to check on his roommate.</p><p>“You alright?” Chris asked, softly. Not softly enough, it would seem, as Scott jumped a bit at the sound.</p><p>Scott nodded. “Couldn’t sleep.”</p><p>Chris took a seat next to him. “Why not?”</p><p>Scott shrugged, keeping his eyes fixated on the television. Chris could tell that he wasn’t getting the full story. He allowed his friend to sit in silence for another minute.</p><p>“Nightmare.” Chris almost didn’t hear it. Scott spoke so softly, part of Chris thought that perhaps he had imagined the utterance.</p><p>Chris opened his arms, and Scott eyed him cautiously, before shifting on the couch and leaning into his embrace.</p><p>“Do you want to talk about it?”</p><p>“They’re always the same. I’m with someone. Sometimes it’s Mason. Jeremiah, Alex, Mark, Mitch… Matt, Kevin… They make me think they love me, make me feel safe… and then, the next thing I know…”</p><p>Chris clenched his eyes shut, squeezing Scott tightly.</p><p>“You have them often?”</p><p>“A few times a week. It just takes me a while to get back to sleep. No big deal.”</p><p>To Chris, this was actually a very big deal.</p><p> </p><p>They walked down the street towards Mitch’s apartment a week later. Side by side, they laughed easily, and Chris admired the way that Scott’s face lit up as he laughed.</p><p>Suddenly, however, Chris felt the hair on the back of his neck stand up.</p><p>A moment later, they heard a whistle.</p><p>Chris inched closer to the slightly smaller sécor, taking his hand in his own. He reached up and adjusted the hat on his own head.</p><p>
  <em>How could they tell from far away?</em>
</p><p>Once at Mitch’s apartment, Chris finally exhaled and felt his blood pressure decrease slowly.</p><p>He heard the TV again, late that night. He trudged out of bed, feeling heavy on his feet, and wondering how Scott hadn’t died of exhaustion from this lack of sleep. Not that he was the best sleeper, himself…</p><p>“C’mere,” Chris said to the man with his eyes glued to the screen. Without waiting for a reply, he turned and crawled back into his own bed.</p><p>“Sorry,” Scott whispered from the doorway a minute later. Chris said nothing, but held out his arms, already feeling himself dozing again. He heard Scott laugh softly, followed by the mattress dipping next to him. Scott nuzzled up against him, and Chris wrapped him up tightly.</p><p>“Don’t be sorry. Just let me help you sleep,” Chris finally replied, minutes later.</p><p>Scott’s breathing had already evened out, and he was sleeping soundly in Chris’ arms. Chris smiled softly at the realization of the victory.</p><p>This slowly became routine. Chris would hear the tv, trudge out into the living room, grunt or gain Scott’s attention in one way or another, and then wait for him to crawl into bed with him. In fact, during the nights in which Scott slept through the night on his own, Chris found himself tossing and turning, missing the presence of the smaller sécor against him.</p><p>After some time, the living room step had been cut out completely, and Scott would crawl into Chris’ bed without waiting for a formal invitation.</p><p>Chris certainly didn’t mind.</p><p>And that was <em>really </em>starting to scare him.</p><p> </p><p>Three months later, Scott had finally accepted Chris’ invitation to simply begin each night in his bed. It was easier this way. At least that’s what Chris had convinced himself.</p><p>Chris’ heart would break when Scott would shoot upright in bed, gasping for breath, and tugging at his hair.</p><p>“You’re safe. Breathe. You’re safe. No one’s hurting you.” Chris whispered against the back of his neck as he rubbed the goosebumps away from his arms. “Breathe, my love. Just breathe.”</p><p>He placed a hand to Scott’s chest, feeling as his pulse slowed from its frantic banging against his ribcage.</p><p>“Who?” Chris whispered.</p><p>There was a heavy silence in the air. It had become a sort of routine, for him to ask this question each time.</p><p>“Matt,” Scott replied, his eyes still clenched shut.</p><p>Chris knew that if Matt knew that he was one of the sources of these nightmares, despite his icy demeanor, it might kill him.</p><p>“Can I ask you something?” Chris asked softly one night, after a particularly early nightmare had taken place. It was only midnight, and Scott was already shaking in his arms.</p><p>“’Course.”</p><p>“Have you ever enjoyed it?”</p><p>Silence.</p><p>“I mean… fully?”</p><p>More silence.</p><p>Chris shifted and placed a hand beneath Scott’s chin, urging him to look at him. Scott’s eyes looked uneasy… confused.</p><p>“I think so.”</p><p>“You… think so?”</p><p>Scott nodded. “I think there’s always been a guard up… but I’ve… I mean… yeah. I think so. What about you?”</p><p>Chris knew that Scott was only asking to take the heat off of himself. But Chris decided to humor him, anyway.</p><p>“Yes. I know I have. There’s a difference, I think… between sex and… you know…”</p><p>“Making love?” Scott blushed, and Chris found it to be one of the most adorable things he had ever seen. “Mason would make love to Mark, but not to me.”</p><p>Chris suddenly felt like his heart was made of lead. It sat heavily in his chest, painfully.</p><p>“It looked… nice. To be treated like that. He was gentle. They were… in tune with one another, I guess? I don’t know… it was just different. I guess… I guess Alex… maybe, back in high school… and college. But maybe not… I don’t know… that wasn’t really what I was looking for…” Scott was rambling now. Chris wanted desperately to make him shut up. “And when people tried to fix me? They were… it was fine...”</p><p>“That doesn’t count.”</p><p>Scott shut his mouth, looking embarrassed. Chris instantly felt guilty.</p><p>“If your guard is up. Even a little bit… I don’t think it counts,” Chris added.</p><p>“Then… no. I guess not.”</p><p>Chris rubbed Scott’s cheekbone, softly. It was a shame, that Scott had never experienced it. That he had never felt truly safe while intimate with someone.</p><p>“Hey, Scott?”</p><p>Their blue eyes met again, and Chris felt his own pulse quicken. He wasn’t sure what he was getting himself into. But suddenly, he didn’t care.</p><p>“Can I show you?”</p><p>“…Chris…”</p><p>“…I want… I want to show you…”</p><p>“…why?”</p><p>“Because I love you.”</p><p>They stared at each other in silence, in the dimly lit room illuminated by only the streetlamp outside. Chris wasn’t sure if Scott had stopped breathing altogether. Chris thought he would feel more embarrassed by his new admission, however, all he felt was hope.</p><p>“…Since when?”</p><p>“I don’t know… forever?”</p><p>Scott’s eyes were unreadable.</p><p>But then, their lips were colliding with one another. Sweetly, softly, intimately.</p><p>Chris rolled them over, so he was hovering over the leaner body below him. He spent what seemed like hours mapping out the contours of Scott’s mouth with his own, wanting desperately to take this slowly enough not to scare him.</p><p>It felt as though Chris’ heart had stopped beating, settling instead for vibrating in his chest cavity with excitement.</p><p>“Can I show you?” Chris asked, separating their lips for just long enough to utter the words. He pulled back and looked into his eyes, searching them to make sure that his response was truthful.</p><p>“Please… show me?”</p><p>Chris felt his heart thump painfully in his chest as he reached down into the waistband of Scott’s shorts. He felt more confident as soon as he did so, finding that Scott was already becoming hard.</p><p>He rubbed at his length gently, flicking his thumb over the tip, and enjoying the reaction of the man below him, who was clearly becoming more comfortable with the situation.</p><p>Scott reached into Chris’ waistband as well, and Chris almost protested, wanting to take care of him and only him, but the words died before they left his lips, as Scott grasped his hard cock and his breath hitched.</p><p>“You’re so big…” Scott breathed. The words didn’t sound scared or unsure. They sounded lustful.</p><p>Chris leaned down, sucking on the skin below Scott’s ear. “I’ll make sure you’re ready for it. I’ll make sure it feels good.”</p><p>Chris freed his hand from beneath Scott’s clothing and made quick work of removing Scott’s shirt and shorts. He quickly did the same for himself, not wanting Scott to feel at all dominated. He looked down at the man splayed out on the bed below him, and he wanted to touch every inch.</p><p>Scott looked back at him in a manner that made him feel like the feeling might just be mutual.</p><p>He hooked his thumbs below Scott’s boxers, looking into his eyes for permission. Scott nodded, and the underwear was thrown into the pile, with Chris’ following shortly after.</p><p>He watched as Scott eyed his length through half-closed lids. Scott’s breathing was shallow, and Chris stopped, wondering if he was becoming overwhelmed.</p><p>But Scott’s leaking cock was telling him otherwise.</p><p>Chris reached for the end table, and quickly slicked up his fingers. He was generous with the lube, wanting to prepare Scott as thoroughly as possible.</p><p>He teased Scott’s entrance with his index finger, and Scott sighed.</p><p>“Say when?” Chris whispered, pressing lightly enough to make Scott moan, but lightly enough not to enter.</p><p>“When. Whenwhenwhenwhenwhen.” Scott panted, smirking.</p><p>Watching Scott like this was mesmerizing. The feeling of Scott around his fingers was mesmerizing. Watching Scott’s cock bounce as Scott bucked against his fingers? Also mesmerizing.</p><p>“More?” Scott whined, beautifully.</p><p>Chris added a third finger, spreading them in the tightness.</p><p>“I’m ready. Please?” Scott asked, his voice barely a whisper. He reached between his legs and grasped Chris’ wrist, stilling his hand where his fingers had been fucking him gently.</p><p>He hadn’t expected Scott to be this needy. His own dick ached with anticipation. He complied, withdrawing his fingers, eliciting a whimper from Scott. He laughed gently, and placed a soft kiss to his throat as he lined up and pushed in, very carefully.</p><p>Watching Scott’s eyes be blown out with lust was one of the most beautiful things that Chris had ever seen. That, mixed with the feeling of the other sécor around him, almost made Chris lose it immediately.</p><p><em>That’s the feeling that humans speak of, </em>Chris thought. It was overwhelming. Addicting.</p><p>Scott looked as though he was feeling the same sensation, his head thrown back, exposing his throat to the larger sécor to suck and nip at the skin there as he pumped in and out of him.</p><p>Scott’s back arched and his hands clawed at the headboard above his head, grabbing on in an effort to ground himself.</p><p>“More?” Scott asked, his voice low and seductive as he nearly begged.</p><p>Chris thrusted harder, more quickly, and began to see stars.</p><p>He gripped Scott’s hips, and moaned as he bottomed out within him, over and over.</p><p>They fit together perfectly. They moved together perfectly.</p><p>Chris leaned down, whispering, “I love you. I always have.”</p><p>“Chris…”</p><p>“Yes, baby?”</p><p>“Gonna…”</p><p>Chris reached between them and grasped onto Scott’s length just in time, as he finished in his hand. The sensation sent Chris over the edge, and he finished a moment later, pumping through it and feeling like he might pass out from the intensity of his orgasm.</p><p>They lay still, panting, with Chris still inside of him and his hand still wrapped around his cock as it softened.</p><p>Chris rolled off the bed after a few minutes of silence, the only sound being their rapid and erratic breathing. He returned a minute later with a wet towel, and wiped the smaller sécor down before placing a kiss on his hip. He threw the towel to the side and settled in the bed behind Scott, wrapping his arms around his naked frame and pulling him close.</p><p>“So that’s what it’s like,” Scott whispered, and Chris could hear the smirk in his voice.</p><p>“That… was making love on steroids, actually,” Chris replied, tucking his face against Scott’s neck.</p><p>“I like steroids.”</p><p>Chris laughed, hugging Scott tighter against him. “Me too. Very much.”</p><p> </p><p>Thirteen months later, Chris had allowed himself to fall hard.</p><p>Chris couldn’t get enough of Scott’s smile.</p><p>He couldn’t get enough of his laugh, either.</p><p>Or the way his eyes crinkled around the edges when he did either of those things.</p><p>Or the way that his hand fit perfectly in his.</p><p>Or the way in which his body fit perfectly against him when he let him make love to him.</p><p>Or the way he said his name.</p><p>Or the way he sang when he was bored. Or tired. Or hungry. Or excited. Or… well… always.</p><p>Chris smiled, standing at his dresser, turning the small gold band in his hand over and over again. He prayed that he could do this right. He prayed that Scott would continue to make him the happiest man alive.</p><p>“You coming, or what?” Scott’s distant banter broke him from his train of thought. He smiled, placing the ring in the corner of his sock drawer, and grabbing a pair of socks instead.</p><p>“Coming! Impatient much?” Chris called, smiling fondly.</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0056"><h2>56. Age Thirty-Four, Part I</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Ugh. I'm annoyed today. Also, I am so sorry for what you are about to read... but please take your time with it! It's meant to fill you with all of the feels D:</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>And then there was one.</p><p>One sécor, out of eight. First Josh, then Tom, then Tyler, then Bobby, Jesse, and Niall.</p><p>Now, this.</p><p>He felt so guilty, he could die.</p><p>He couldn’t save him.</p><p>He should have been able to save him.</p><p>He loved him so <em>fucking much, </em>and he couldn’t even save him.</p><p>Mitch entered the apartment that the two sécors had shared, and embraced him.</p><p>He wasn’t sure why Mitch was hugging him. He shouldn’t be.</p><p>He should be so, <em>so angry.</em></p><p>He should be screaming at him, crying, throwing things. He shouldn’t be whispering, “It’s okay,” and “You did all you could.”</p><p>He shouldn’t be telling him, “You did your best.”</p><p>His best hadn’t been good enough.</p><p>Now seven of his best friends were dead. Scratch that, <em>six </em>of his best friends, and the love of his life.</p><p>Kirstie and Ben shouldn’t be on their way down from San Francisco, in an effort to comfort him.</p><p>His parents shouldn’t have been so understanding when he had to call them, telling them that their son was dead.</p><p>Their strong, beautiful son. After all that he had been through, all that he had overcome.</p><p>Dead.</p><p>He was nauseous.</p><p>But he had thrown up everything already.</p><p>He was starting to think that he was doomed to perpetually feel this way. Every day. Chronically. For the rest of his life.</p><p>He wished that it could have been him, instead.</p><p>His phone buzzed, snapping him out of his thoughts.</p><p>Kevin’s face looked back at him through the screen. The look of pity and heartache made his stomach churn, painfully.</p><p>“Are you okay?” Kevin asked, softly, like he was afraid of shattering him into a million pieces with his voice.</p><p>He shook his head. “I don’t think so.”</p><p>It came out guttural, painful sounding.</p><p>“We’ll be there soon. Gabriel is with Leigh’s parents. Our flight leaves in twenty minutes.”</p><p>“You don’t have to,” he replied. “There won’t… there won’t be a service. His parents want to… want to cremate him.” He hiccupped.</p><p>“We want to be there for you… for each other,” Kevin whispered, his eyes filling with tears. “Don’t hate me…”</p><p>He paused, wondering what Kevin was going to say next.</p><p>“I called Matt. He’s coming out, too.”</p><p>“Why would you do that? After what happened during our last visit-?”</p><p>“He was adamant about coming. He deserves to grieve, too. Even if he wasn’t very nice to you guys…”</p><p>He clenched his fists and shut his eyes. He knew that Kevin was right.</p><p>“Promise me you’re hanging in? You aren’t alone, right?” Kevin asked.</p><p>He shook his head. “Mitch is here,” he said, quietly.</p><p>There was a painful lump in his throat that was refusing to go away, and he thought about slicing it out of his own pharynx with a kitchen knife.</p><p>“You aren’t alone. I know that it might feel that way, right now. But you aren’t. Please know that,” Kevin said.</p><p>He nodded. “I know.”</p><p>It was all he could physically make himself say.</p><p>They hung up and he placed his head in his hands, feeling suddenly overwhelmed and exhausted.</p><p>“What happened?” Mitch asked, quietly, taking his hand and forcing him to look at him.</p><p>“It was… it was a hate crime, I guess.” He replied, softly. “Just like Niall. I should have known, after Niall. I wasn’t strong enough to protect us… to protect myself, to protect him… none of it.”</p><p>“Did he… did he suffer?”</p><p>He shook his head. “One bullet. Right through the head. Execution-style.” The words suddenly came out robotically, emotionless. “They… they just <em>hated us…” </em>he sobbed, falling apart into Mitch’s arms. “I’m so fucking sorry.”</p><p>“Shh, shh. It isn’t your fault. I know this feels like your fault, but sweetheart, that’s because you take on everything like it’s your fault. You always have, for as long as I’ve known you. You take responsibility for everything, for everyone. It isn’t fair. It isn’t fair to you.” Mitch soothed, trying to keep it together for the larger man in his arms.</p><p>The doorbell rang, and Mitch hesitated before leaving him there to answer it.</p><p>Kirstie and Ben came towards him slowly, unsure of how to act. She crossed the floor and embraced him.</p><p>Then, they cried.</p><p>All of them. He wasn’t sure if they were more upset for him, or for their own sense of loss.</p><p>But they were heartbroken.</p><p>He was thankful that they were there.</p><p>But he also hated it.</p><p> </p><p>The doorbell rang again that evening, and they wondered where the time had gone. It felt like one giant minute had passed. Not quickly, not slowly.</p><p>Just painfully.</p><p>He was a little drunk by the time he realized that this much time had passed.</p><p>Mitch answered it again, and found Matt shifting from one foot to the other, wringing his hands together.</p><p>“You came,” Mitch whispered, unsure if it sounded angry, confused, or thankful.</p><p>Matt nodded. “I had to.”</p><p>Mitch hugged him, not bothering to ask for permission to do so.</p><p>He clutched him tightly in return, all tension seemingly forgotten.</p><p>“Is he alright?”</p><p>Mitch shook his head. “No. No, I don’t think he is.”</p><p>“I can’t imagine…”</p><p>Matt stopped speaking when two more people arrived behind him. He smiled softly at Kevin and Leigh as they approached, trying not to break down in tears at the sight of the pair whom he hadn’t seen in years.</p><p>He nearly jumped into Kevin’s arms once he was close enough. “Thank you for calling me. Thank you for letting me come.”</p><p>“I’m glad you did,” Kevin replied. “Where is he?” Kevin asked, releasing Matt and turning to Mitch.</p><p>“He’s this way.”</p><p>They followed Mitch into the apartment, where they were met with piercing blue eyes that looked like they had cried every tear possible, red-rimmed and raw, with dark circles surrounding them.</p><p>“Scott, love…” Matt whispered, crossing the floor and embracing the man who was falling apart on the couch.</p><p>“How can he be gone? How could I let that happen? Now I don’t stand a chance,” Scott sobbed, clutching Matt for dear life.</p><p>“That’s not true. That’s not true,” Matt cried, pulling away from Scott and looking into his eyes. “Chris wasn’t keeping you alive, Scotty. You were.”</p><p>“I failed,” Scott sobbed, wiping away his tears aggressively. Kevin hated to see him treat himself roughly. It reminded him of how he used to hurt himself when he would become upset. He crossed the floor and sat next to Scott, and basically pulled him into his lap, holding onto him as he cried.</p><p>“Stop that. Stop that right now, Scott. Please.” Kevin scolded, holding Scott’s hands in his own.</p><p>“I loved him. I loved him so much.”</p><p>Eventually, Kirstie, Ben, Leigh and Kevin returned to their hotel. Matt and Mitch asked to remain behind, to keep an eye on Scott overnight. He didn’t deserve to stay in the apartment alone.</p><p> </p><p>Matt heard the refrigerator door open at 3am from his spot on the couch.</p><p>“Scott? You okay?” He asked as he saw Scott’s silhouette pass by in the darkness, on his way back to his room.</p><p>“Sorry. Didn’t mean to wake you,” Scott whispered, unnecessarily. Mitch was in Chris’ old room, and wouldn’t be able to hear anyway.</p><p>Matt turned on the light as he sat up, and both of them blinked in the harsh brightness.</p><p>“Have you slept at all?” Matt asked, knowing just by looking at Scott that he hadn’t.</p><p>Scott fiddled with the water bottle in his hands. “No…” His voice was small and pained.</p><p>“Well… can I talk to you, then?” Matt asked, softly.</p><p>He could see Scott’s muscles tense in discomfort at this idea. But after a moment, he took a seat next to Matt anyway. “Okay.”</p><p>“I’m sorry.” They both said at the same time.</p><p>“What the hell are you sorry for, Scott?”</p><p>Scott blinked at him, shocked that Matt had apologized as well. “I’m sorry that we ambushed you. I’m sorry that we didn’t consider the fact that you might not want to see us.”</p><p>“That was me being stupid, Scott.”</p><p>“I didn’t think you were being stupid. I thought you were being honest.”</p><p>“Well, I wasn’t. And that’s why I’m sorry.”</p><p>They sat in silence for a moment.</p><p>“I’m glad you’re back with Sarah,” Scott said, quietly. “She’s good for you.”</p><p>Matt smiled. “Yeah, she is. She was mad at me when I let you all leave, you know.”</p><p>Scott looked surprised by this news.</p><p>“I don’t want you out of my life, Scott. You mean too much to me.”</p><p>“You’re right… I did mean <em>too much </em>to you,” Scott whispered, his voice laced with guilt.</p><p>“I know that this probably isn’t the best time for me to say this, Scott… but I don’t regret the feelings that I had for you.” Matt said, trying to convey his seriousness with his eyes, attempting to lock his gaze with Scott’s. “But they were scary. The thought that they could come flooding back? That’s what scared me that day.”</p><p>“So, what changed your mind?” Scott asked.</p><p>“I realized that they can’t come flooding back.”</p><p>“Well, that’s good news, I guess. Why?”</p><p>“Because they never left.” It was a matter-of-fact statement. He let it sink in as he watched the blond. “I’ve just figured out how to cope with them. And you know what? That’s okay. My feelings for you are okay. Sarah… Sarah understands.”</p><p>“You have to stop,” Scott pleaded, his eyes shining with new tears.</p><p>“I can’t, Scott. If seven years apart couldn’t break it, then nothing can,” Matt shook his head. “And it’s <em>okay.”</em></p><p>“It isn’t okay.”</p><p>Matt stared at him for a moment, and Scott could see something click in his eyes.</p><p>“You… it makes you uncomfortable?”</p><p>“What? No.” Scott replied quickly. “No, of course not.”</p><p>“Then why do I have to stop?”</p><p>“Because it isn’t worth it. It won’t end well. It never ends well… not with me…”</p><p>“You can’t turn love on and off depending on whether you think it will end well, Scott. It’s okay that you don’t feel the same. It’s still worth it.”</p><p>“It’s not about whether or not I feel the same, Matt.”</p><p>Matt could tell that Scott was becoming frustrated, and he felt bad for making him feel this way, especially right now.</p><p>“What’s it about, then?”</p><p>“I would never <em>let myself </em>feel the same. I could never do that to you. I could never do that to Mitch. I could never do that to <em>anyone. </em>Never again. I can’t do this anymore… not again…<em>”</em></p><p>“You couldn’t let us be happy with you?” Matt asked.</p><p>“You wouldn’t be happy. Not for long, Matty. It would be torture, sooner or later. You’d get hurt. Please, trust me. No one knows that better than I do.”</p><p>“We already have been hurt. Many times. What does that have to do with whether or not you allow yourself to feel the same?”</p><p>“Sécors don’t live very long. Obviously.”</p><p>“You’ve defied all odds. Every single one.”</p><p>“And what makes you think that I have this never-ending source of good luck to pull from?”</p><p>“It isn’t luck.”</p><p>“What is it?”</p><p>“Strength. And people who love you. Full circle. See?”</p><p>“What if I die next? And I had… given my heart to one of you?”</p><p>“We’d want to die, probably.”</p><p>“See?”</p><p>“How is that different from if you died tomorrow? I can only think of one way that it would be.”</p><p>Scott rolled his eyes at the fact that Matt was missing the point. “Okay, I’ll bite. What’s the one way, then?”</p><p>“If you had given your heart to me… hypothetically, of course… and I lost you… God forbid… I hate thinking about that at all…” Matt clenched his eyes shut, focusing on driving his point home. “…then at least I will have spent some time loving you in the capacity that I know I could provide, that I know you deserve, even for a short while. As opposed of course, to if you died tomorrow, and I had to spend the rest of my days wondering, ‘what if’?”</p><p>Scott’s mouth was agape, speechless.</p><p>“Do you regret falling in love with Chris?”</p><p>Scott’s eyes narrowed. “Of course not.”</p><p>Scott wanted to slap the soft, understanding smile off of Matt’s face. It was as though that smile was taunting him, proving Matt’s point.</p><p>“It doesn’t have to be me, Scott. But you don’t have to be alone, either.”</p><p>“You’re with Sarah.”</p><p>“Sure. Let’s go with that excuse, and ignore the fact that if you called me next week and asked me to drop my entire life, I’d be here in an instant. With my mother’s blessing and all.”</p><p>Scott laughed, despite himself. “Your mom <em>does </em>love me.”</p><p>“I think she might love you more than she loves me,” Matt laughed, feeling the tension in the room lift.</p><p>“I just want you to be happy, you know.” Scott’s voice was low and serious again.</p><p>“You and I want the same things for each other. That fact has never changed, and I know that. We just have different ideas of what that looks like.”</p><p>“And that’s okay?”</p><p>“That’s okay.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0057"><h2>57. Age Thirty-Four, Part II</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This one is SAD too, I'm just warning you. The flashback was particularly hard to write.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>Chris and Scott walked hand-in-hand towards Mitch’s apartment, as they had done so many times before. They had become desensitized to the few catcalls they received.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>That had been their first mistake.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Suddenly, Scott was ripped from Chris’ grasp, and Chris yelled as the smaller sécor was thrown against the wall of an alley, pinned there by two large men.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Very large, muscular men.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He ran forward to pull them off of the body that they had already begun to attack, but he was restrained by two other men. They were slightly smaller, and Chris knew he could take them.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>That was, until the cold metal of the gun found his temple.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Scott whimpered from his place against the wall.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“On your knees, big guy,” the gun holder said, calmly. “We just want him for a minute. No need to do anything stupid.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Chris, please…” Scott whimpered, making eye contact with his boyfriend as his shirt was ripped off. “Please kneel down. Please?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Your pretty little boyfriend is smart. Just do as we say, and this will all be over soon.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Don’t hurt him.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“We won’t hurt him too badly. We just want to give him a try. Share him with us, and you get to live. So does he. Got it?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Chris weighed his options frantically as Scott’s jeans were pulled down and his legs were wrapped around the waist of one of the large men. If he moved, he was dead. And at that point, they would probably rape and kill Scott anyway.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Have me, instead. I’m a sécor, too.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“How chivalrous. No thanks. We want this one.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He felt helpless as Scott was violated against the brick wall, in front of his eyes.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The alley was filled with grunts and moans as each of the four men took their turn. Chris thought he might die as Scott cried out for the fourth time.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The final man finished, and dropped Scott unceremoniously on the pavement. Chris could see that Scott’s back was aggravated from rubbing against the brick, and that it was raw and bleeding.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“You should have tried to save him,” one of the men whispered to Chris, tauntingly.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>A gunshot rang out, and Scott was sure that had also died, himself, as he watched Chris fall forward.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He forgot how to breathe. He sat, slumped against the wall, clenching his eyes shut. Afraid to lay eyes on the love of his life, drenched in his own blood, with lifeless eyes. Afraid to stare down the barrel of the gun, himself.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He knew it was coming.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He wished it would happen, already.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Put him out of his misery. Please.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Wait. Don’t kill that one. We might want to use him again.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Scott’s clothes were thrown at him a moment later, and he heard the footsteps run away.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Of course they wouldn’t put him out of his misery.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>No one ever put him out of his misery.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>“Would you guys be willing to do me a huge favor? You know, before you go home?”</p><p>Kevin cringed at the reminder that they would be leaving Scott soon. He hated the idea of Mitch taking this on alone. He was the only one close by. But Kevin didn’t know what else to do.</p><p>They had been there for a week. It had been cathartic. It had been sweet. It had felt like home.</p><p>“Anything,” Kirstie replied.</p><p>“Careful. You may have just agreed to something absolutely crazy,” Matt added, smiling softly.</p><p>‘Maybe,” Scott replied, a small smile forming on his lips as well. “I want to record a song. For Chris?”</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>“To hear you sing again… that would…” Chris started, fighting back the lump in his throat. “That would make this world seem slightly more okay.” Chris sat silently, as though wondering if he should say his next words. “I need you to sing again. Okay? Promise me?”</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Scott blinked away tears at the thought of Chris’ words, eight years ago, when Scott had lost his voice.</p><p>He owed it to him.</p><p>He looked around at his friends, pleasantly surprised to find smiles on all of their faces.</p><p>“What did you have in mind?”</p><p>“Amazing Grace.”</p><p> </p><p>“Hey, Kev?” Mitch asked, shifting on his feet as Kevin fiddled with his suit jacket.</p><p>“What’s up, Mitchy?”</p><p>Mitch was playing with something in his hands, looking like he wanted the floor to swallow him whole. Kevin closed the distance, steadying Mitch’s hand.</p><p>A small, gold band lay in his palm.</p><p>“It… it was Chris’. I was there when he bought it. It was in his sock drawer.”</p><p>Kevin was speechless.</p><p>“He was going to… I don't know when, but soon. Kev… I don’t know what to do.”</p><p>Kevin reached for the ring, taking it softly from Mitch’s hand. “We tell him. We have to. This belongs to him. Do you want to?”</p><p>Mitch shook his head with wide eyes, just as the door opened, revealing Scott, looking angelic in his own white suit.</p><p>“Sorry, did I interrupt?” Scott asked, looking uneasy.</p><p>“Sit down, Scotty.”</p><p>“Uh oh.” Scott laughed, looking even more unsure of himself, as he lowered himself onto the edge of his bed.</p><p>Kevin pulled up his desk chair, close enough for him to reach forward and touch Scott’s knees, and sat down, looking to Mitch for final permission to deliver the news. Mitch nodded.</p><p>“What?” Scott asked, sounding desperate.</p><p>“Scotty… we need to give you something that belongs to you.” Mitch urged, when Kevin suddenly couldn’t find his words.</p><p>“Okay…”</p><p>Kevin opened his hand, revealing the engagement ring. Scott stared at it, wordlessly, expressionlessly.</p><p>“Chris was going to propose. Scott… I’m so sorry.” The words were hardly above a whisper, and Kevin cursed himself for how his voice wavered.</p><p>Kevin wasn’t sure if this would be the final blow- The straw that would finally break the camel’s back, destroying Scott’s psyche beyond repair.</p><p>Scott reached for the ring, and placed it on his finger.</p><p>“Thank you,” he whispered. He cleared his throat. “Are we ready to go?”</p><p>“Scott…”</p><p>“We only have the chapel for a few hours. We should really go…” Scott muttered, leaving the room.</p><p>Kevin and Mitch exchanged worried glances, before following close behind.</p><p> </p><p>They had arranged and recorded the song early that morning. It was the fastest they had ever worked, and somehow, the process had been easy. They sang together as though they had never stopped.</p><p>The venue was beautiful. They had settled on Wayfarer’s Chapel. It was perfect for the occasion, providing them with a heavenly backdrop for their emotional video.</p><p>Scott made it through all takes looking beautiful, calm, and strong. The golden band lay on his finger, fitting there perfectly.</p><p>Chills ran through them as they watched him mouth the lyrics of his part. It was eerie, how they fit him.</p><p>
  <em>My chains are gone, I’ve been set free<br/></em>
  <em>My God, my savior, has ransomed me<br/></em>
  <em>And like a flood, his mercy rains<br/></em>
  <em>Unending love,<br/></em>
  <em>Amazing grace.</em>
</p><p>He was <em>too</em> calm.</p><p>They stood for their final take of the day: The five of them on the steps, with Scott in the middle.</p><p>They lip synced the entirety of the song there, allowing the song to move some of them to the brink of tears.</p><p>“And… cut.”</p><p>There was silence.</p><p>Then, Scott was on his knees.</p><p>A gasping wail broke through the silence, as Scott fell apart.</p><p>Matt moved frantically towards the blond, but was halted with a strong hand on his shoulder. Kevin squeezed him there, comfortingly, nonverbally indicating to leave the other man alone.</p><p>If he had to listen to Scott like this for another minute, he might actually die.</p><p>Mitch covered his mouth with his palm to prevent his own sobs from escaping his lips, as he watched Scott’s shoulders shake in despair.</p><p>Then, Scott’s hands grasped at his hair, as they had seen so many times before, all of those years ago, and Kevin let Matt go before Scott hurt himself.</p><p>Matt embraced Scott within a millisecond, pulling his hands away from his scalp.</p><p>“I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry, Scotty. Please be okay. Please be okay…” Matt sobbed into the blond’s hair, rubbing his knuckles where he was holding his hands for dear life.</p><p>“Please be okay…” Matt whispered again, as Scott began to go limp in his embrace.</p><p>“I… told him… to kneel… I told him… not to fight… this is all my fault…” Scott whispered so only Matt could hear. “Everything hurts. Please…” </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0058"><h2>58. Age Thirty-Four, Part III</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Wow... the second-to-last chapter. Wuuuuut.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Kevin stared at the YouTube page in a state of utter disbelief, two weeks later.</p><p>They had returned home. Gabriel and Lucas were running around like absolute madmen, as Kevin stood frozen.</p><p>Millions of views. Millions of likes. Thousands upon thousands of comments.</p><p>
  <b>
    <strong>I never unsubscribed to you guys. I simply forgot to. To see a new video of you together? An amazing surprise. How?</strong>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <strong>Wow. This is the most beautiful rendition of this song I’ve ever heard.</strong>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <strong>I’m… speechless.</strong>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <strong>THEY’RE BACK THEY’RE BACK THEY’RE BACK</strong>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <strong>SCOTT?!</strong>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <strong>Reply: They figured out how to fix him. Now they’re using that method to fix sécors. It was kept quiet for a long time because his doctors were afraid that they would try to be stopped by people who want them to die out.</strong>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <strong>Reply: He was the first to be fixed, EVER? So cool.</strong>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <strong>Reply: Yeah. That’s a strong guy, right there.</strong>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <strong>I’m so glad they’re back, I started crying.</strong>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <strong>They look so GOOD.</strong>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <strong>@PTXOfficial, are you back for good?</strong>
  </b>
</p><p>Kevin smiled to himself. He didn’t know. Were they?</p><p>The reaction to this video made him strongly believe that he wanted them to be.</p><p> </p><p>“Hey, Mitchy. How are things going?” Kirstie asked on FaceTime, the following day.</p><p>Mitch looked over the phone screen, at something in the distance. Kirstie wondered if it was Scott who had grabbed his attention.</p><p>“They’re going. We’re almost all packed.”</p><p>His heart sank as he said the words. He was leaving LA. He was leaving LA for the first time in roughly 15 years.</p><p>Scott was worth it.</p><p>His safety was one-hundred percent worth it.</p><p>Kevin had made a good point shortly after he had returned home. Scott was certainly not safe in his apartment, or in their neighborhood. That was made abundantly clear when Scott had told them why he hadn’t been killed alongside Chris.</p><p>They wanted to use him again.</p><p>Over Mitch’s dead body.</p><p>He cringed at that thought. Perhaps it was too soon for thoughts like that.</p><p>His heart panged in his chest for Chris. He thought about what Chris’ last experience was. Watching someone he loved being hurt so badly, feeling helpless… thinking he would be able to take care of him when it was all over…</p><p>“You okay, Mitch?” Kirstie snapped him out of his thoughts.</p><p>“Yeah… I’m okay… Just scared to leave. You know?”</p><p>“It’ll be a good change, I think. And hey, you’ll live near Kevin and Leigh. I’m actually jealous!”</p><p>“<em>Near</em> Kevin and Leigh? Try in their backyard, Kirst.”</p><p>“I think it’s nice, that they offered their guest house to you.”</p><p>Mitch suddenly started laughing.</p><p>“What? What’s so funny?”</p><p>“How about the fact that Kevin and Leigh have a <em>guest house?” </em>Mitch laughed. “Who the hell…”</p><p>Kirstie smiled. “A doctor and a lawyer in the outskirts of Boston. That’s who,” she giggled. “And conveniently, I might add. I’ll feel so much better when you guys get there.”</p><p>“You’ll be the only ones left on the west coast.”</p><p>“Yeah, well… maybe we’ll follow you.”</p><p>“The guest house isn’t big enough, Kirstie,” Scott chimed in, smirking into the lens. Kirstie’s eyes lit up.</p><p>“Hey! I don’t need much room!” Kirstie replied, sticking out her tongue. “In all seriousness though… maybe it’s time for a change for us, as well. I hear Boston is great.”</p><p>Well, we would love to have you. As long as you promise me something,” Scott replied.</p><p>“Shoot, Scoot,” Kirstie laughed at her own rhyme.</p><p>“Don’t do it for my sake, because you’re worried. Okay?”</p><p>Kirstie nodded. “What if it’s for your sake, to be closer to you? All of you?”</p><p>Scott appeared to mull this over for a moment. “I guess that’s okay. And adorable.”</p><p> </p><p>Kevin lifted Scott off of the floor in the airport at the end of the week, appearing to want to squeeze him to death as he embraced the blond. Leigh hugged Mitch, laughing gently at her husband’s excitement.</p><p>When Kevin finally let Scott go, Scott squatted down low and smiled at Gabriel, who appeared to be a mixture of excited and nervous. It had been quite some time since he last saw the boy, and he didn’t want to make him uncomfortable.</p><p>“Hey, Gabriel! How’s it going? You got so big.”</p><p>Gabriel smiled, shifting from foot to foot.</p><p>“I’m good, Uncle Scott.” His voice was little and shy, but he smirked as though he enjoyed the attention, all the same.</p><p>“Gabriel, buddy. It’s okay, you’re allowed to hug him.” Kevin offered, laughing.</p><p>Scott was taken by surprise when the boy flung himself at him, wrapping his little arms over his shoulders. Scott stood with the 6-year-old attached to him, laughing lightly.</p><p>This was the opposite of how he expected the boy to act, but he was extremely happy about it.</p><p>Gabriel began to talk, and didn’t stop until they pulled into the driveway. He spoke animatedly, and was very articulate for a 6-year-old, Scott supposed. Looking at his parents, however, Scott wasn’t at all surprised.</p><p>“And Lucas can’t wait to see you. He likes that you look like him,” Gabriel said, waiting to be unbuckled from his seat. “I like it, too. We are just like you and Daddy!”</p><p>Kevin watched Scott’s eyes light up. It never ceased to amaze him each time that happened, and he smiled fondly at his friend.</p><p>He felt a sense of optimism that he hadn’t felt in years, having two of his closest friends near him again.</p><p> </p><p>“Did you know that we were featured on three news channels this week?” Mitch asked casually, one weekend morning at the end of November.</p><p>“Get out,” Kevin replied, wondering if the smaller man was joking.</p><p>“I’m serious,” Mitch laughed. “America loves us, hunty. Look.”</p><p>Mitch passed his phone to his friend, and Kevin and Leigh watched with their mouths hanging open.</p><p>“Apparently, people want to know if we’re going to keep making music. There’s even chatter about touring,” Mitch added.</p><p>Leigh, Kevin and Mitch turned to Scott, who was laying on the floor, playing with action figures with Gabriel.</p><p>“We should… keep making music, I mean. What do you think, Scott?” Kevin asked, tentatively.</p><p>Scott shrugged, sitting up and making an explosion noise, knocking his action figure over. “I don’t know. Do you guys want to? It would be hard… being in three different locations…”</p><p>“You have one like Daddy,” Gabriel said, suddenly.</p><p>The adults all turned to look at the boy, who was smiling innocently at Scott.</p><p>Kevin’s heart broke and he wanted to take his son’s words back as he realized what Gabriel was looking at.</p><p>Scott realized too, looking down at the golden band on his finger.</p><p>“Daddy wears one because he loves Mommy.” Gabriel added, looking thoughtful. “Do you love somebody? Are you married?”</p><p>“Gabriel… buddy…”</p><p>“No, it’s okay,” Scott interrupted Kevin’s awkward attempt at redirecting the conversation. “If you don’t mind me telling him?”</p><p>Kevin frowned, but shook his head. “Of course, we don’t mind…”</p><p>Scott turned back towards Gabriel, trying to smile. “I love someone very much, but he isn’t here anymore.”</p><p>“Where did he go?”</p><p>“Do you remember the man who came here with me when I met you? The other man with eyes like Lucas?”</p><p>Gabriel nodded, smiling.</p><p>“We were going to get married one day, just like your Mommy and Daddy.”</p><p>“I knew it!” Gabriel said, clapping his hands together. “I knew he loves you. He looked at you just like how Daddy looks at Mommy.”</p><p>Kevin felt his eyes stinging, and he wanted nothing more than to stop this conversation, for Scott’s sake.</p><p>Scott laughed gently, much to Kevin’s surprise. “And that’s why you are already smarter than I am. You knew even before I did, you smarty pants.”</p><p>“Why isn’t he here with you this time?” Gabriel asked, a look of confusion on his face. Scott turned to Kevin one last time, as if asking for help, not knowing how they wanted this to be explained.</p><p>Kevin stepped forward, sitting next to Scott on the floor. “His name was Chris. And yes, he loved Uncle Scott very much… more than anything. But, buddy, Chris died. He’s in Heaven now.”</p><p>Gabriel looked from Scott, to Kevin, then back again. “Oh…” His voice held a sadness that indicated that he was wise beyond his years, and he reached for Scott’s hand, playing with the ring in his little fingers. His tiny eyes filled with tears a moment later. “I’m sorry, Uncle Scott. Are you okay?”</p><p>Scott nodded. “I’m okay, little man. Thank you.”</p><p> </p><p>It was December first when Kirstie and Ben flew in, and December third when Matt and Sarah joined them.</p><p>“Let’s go. We’ve got a lot to catch up on, everyone!” Ben announced, clapping his hands. “Action!”</p><p>“Hey!” They sang together, smiling at the camera for the first time in nearly ten years.</p><p>“Thank you for watching our new video for our song, ‘The Twelve Days of Christmas,’ off of our new album, ‘We Need a Little Christmas!’ That’s right, y’all. We are hitting you with a whole new album this holiday season, and just in time for Christmas.” Scott started.</p><p>“Your response to our video for ‘Amazing Grace’ was so incredible, we had to repay you in the best way we knew how, which was to give you a whole album.” Kirstie added.</p><p>“We’re also so excited to announce that not only will we continue to provide you with new videos in the new year, but that we are also planning a tour this coming summer! So please check out our website for dates and tickets.” Matt said.</p><p>“Yes, and none of this would have been possible without your incredible support for what we thought was our final video together, ‘Hallelujah’. We have been on the craziest ride since then, but your unwavering faith in us has helped us to find our way back to each other. And to this guy!” Mitch said, pointing at Scott.</p><p>“Yes. Thank you all for your well wishes. I’m back in action, as you can see. And if you know of any sécors who need help, please check out our website for links to programs that can help them.” Scott said.</p><p>“As always, we wish you all a very happy holiday season, and we can’t wait to see you all in the new year! Please like and subscribe, and we will chat with you soon.” Kevin finished, and the rest of them waved.</p><p>“Cut.”</p><p> </p>
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<a name="section0059"><h2>59. Age Fifty-Eight</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Okay, okay, okay... I'm having some major separation anxiety already with this fic.  See notes at the end, I guess? Enjoy the last chapter!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Kevin watched from the front of the crowd with a proud smile as his 30-year-old son took the stage, smoothing his suit jacket and taking his place at a podium at the center.</p><p>“I’d like to start this off with a story, if you would all humor me for a few minutes,” Gabriel began, his voice strong and unwavering. Kevin glanced at Leigh, taking her hand.</p><p>“My favorite stories as a kid were the ones that my father would tell,” Gabriel began. “Not because of the excitement of them, but because of the joy that these stories brought to his eyes. He lit up when he would tell me these stories of his life.” Gabriel paused, smiling down at his father. “All of these tales, every single one, included his best friends.”</p><p>“Oh, God… is he going to embarrass us?” Mitch whispered, placing a hand over his mouth, dramatically.</p><p>“My dad was eighteen years old when he had the experience… no… not experience… the <em>honor, </em>of meeting not one, but two sécors.”</p><p>Kevin felt his eyes sting.</p><p>“He always explained them this way: One was tall, strong, and breathtakingly handsome. The other was tiny, adorable, and one of the most charming people he had ever met. You see… my dad and his friends… they got to know these sécors, and they fell in love quickly with their hearts… their souls. My dad had admittedly never given a second thought when hearing the word ‘sécor’ ever before, and he was thankful that these two men opened his eyes.”</p><p>Kevin squeezed Leigh’s hand tighter.</p><p>“When I got older… the stories didn’t bring light to his eyes anymore. But the stories were more important for me to hear than ever.”</p><p>They could have heard a pin drop, the crowd was listening so intently.</p><p>“It was ‘normal,’” Gabriel placed air quotes around the word, “for these two men to look for what they were taught to be ‘warning signs’. Someone getting too close, leaning in, touching them for a bit too long… even <em>smiling too much. </em>It was ‘normal’ for them to have taken classes about how to escape from <em>ropes and chains. </em>It was ‘normal’ for them to learn how to act submissively enough that their ‘masters’” Gabriel spit the word out, “might just have mercy on them.”</p><p>Gabriel took a breath, steadying himself before becoming too worked up. “It was ‘normal’ for them to casually take a tally of how many times they were attacked, praying that it wasn’t the straw that broke the camel’s back… that they wouldn’t break and inevitably die from the effects of that horrible, excruciating process.”</p><p>“It became ‘normal’ for my father to take sips of drinks to make sure they were safe for his friends to drink… because in reality, these two friends of his were <em>never</em> truly safe. They were never able to let their guard down. That was their existence. That was their life. They watched as their friends in other parts of the country dwindled down, one by one, succumbing to effects of kidnapping, rape, violence, and suicide.”</p><p>“It took one of my dad’s two best friends when they were only nineteen years old… the tiny, adorable one, if you’ve been keeping track.”</p><p>Gabriel’s hands were becoming sweaty. He wished he could have known Tyler.</p><p>“Imagine, just for one minute, living a life as a nineteen-year-old sécor, watching your friends being killed one by one, and knowing that every single odd is against you to see many more birthdays? That… that was the life that my dad’s last remaining sécor friend had to endure, after that.”</p><p>“Imagine being my dad, watching someone you love die at such a young age, and not being able to do a damn thing about it. Imagine being my dad, wanting desperately to protect the friend that remained, and then a few short years later, watching him be taken away from you… the Sécor Census… causing him to disappear. Wondering if you would ever see him again, someone you had grown to love and adore with your whole heart. Imagine that fear. Imagine that heartache.”</p><p>Kirstie could hear small sniffles from the crowd, and rubbed her own falling tears off of her cheeks, grasping Ben’s arm for comfort. She glanced up at a small line of people standing behind Gabriel on the stage, and smiled softly at her own two children. Her heart pounded with pride, watching her twin daughters, 21 years old, standing there after helping to fight for this.</p><p>“Imagine the hope once he was returned to you, the relief that the new anti-trafficking law would provide. But now, imagine watching him break, a year and a half later. Imagine watching him hurt himself, lose his <em>mind. </em>Because that’s what happens. That’s what happens as attackers run free. Not just attackers who are affected by pheromones, no. Attackers who think it’s their <em>right </em>to take sécors wherever and whenever they want. Why? Because why not? They have no rights. They have no protection. They can be hurt, raped… <em>killed, </em>and there is no punishment, no accountability. Imagine how that must have tortured my father, watching his best friend be hurt with no way of helping.”</p><p>Gabriel locked eyes with Matt, sympathy for the man radiating from his irises.</p><p>“Imagine being one of my father’s <em>other two </em>best friends, two humans, who had fallen madly in love with this sécor, and who had to let him go, not knowing if he was alive or dead for <em>seven years </em>as he fought for his life out of their reach<em>.”</em></p><p>Matt smiled sadly, grabbing Sarah’s hand. She smiled back, softly, understandingly.</p><p>“Imagine the strength of this sécor, to be the first sécor <em>ever </em>to regain his voice after breaking, and even more impressively, to be the first sécor to be <em>reset. </em>Fixed after the breaking process was complete, setting the stage for other sécors everywhere to have a second chance as well. Imagine that strength, that love of life that would be necessary for him to beat those odds.”</p><p>“Imagine being a sécor who had overcome so much, and finally feeling like everything might be okay. Imagine falling in love with someone who knows your pain, your suffering. Another sécor.”</p><p>He smiled at the crowd, his heart breaking.</p><p>“Now imagine watching the love of your life being murdered in front of your eyes. Because he’s a sécor, just like you, and just because <em>these humans are allowed to do whatever they want.</em>”</p><p>“Imagine being my father, watching his best friend suffer <em>again, </em>for no other reason than his DNA. Imagine being my father, wishing desperately that his friend could fall in love again, but knowing that he would never allow himself to, because he had already suffered far too much in this cruel world, and he wasn’t sure if his heart could physically take any more. And imagine my father’s heartbreak, knowing that his best friend would never have children of his own, because he doesn’t want to pass this <em>curse </em>of suffering down to another generation.”</p><p>He took a deep breath. This was harder than he thought.</p><p>“Imagine being my father, watching <em>me, his son,</em> become friends with a person who is 25% sécor. Someone who reminds my father of his best friend each and every time he lays eyes on him.”</p><p>Gabriel’s friend, Lucas, smiled at him from stage right. </p><p>“Imagine the fear of knowing better than anybody that that little boy might have a painful life ahead of him, depending on the unsure state of sécor law. Imagine the fear of knowing that your son might suffer just for <em>knowing </em>this person. No… my father wouldn’t let it happen. He wouldn’t let me suffer like that. He wouldn’t let me hurt the way he hurt for so many years.”</p><p>“I stand before you today because of my father’s dedication to making sure that I knew everything there is to know about my friend. About his rights, or lack thereof. About what could happen if one tiny law changed, making him technically considered a sécor, the way that my father’s best friend was, changing the criteria from 50% to 25%.</p><p>“I stand before you because of my dad’s dedication to learning about sécor medicine in a world in which he was never provided with courses, or even a single <em>test question </em>in medical school that asked about a sécor’s medical needs.”</p><p>“People never cared about these things, because they were never exposed to them. Not personally. Their hearts weren’t touched by these people. I am convinced of that fact. My dad and his friends… they changed that.”</p><p>The crowd cheered.</p><p>“Pentatonix took a sécor’s story and <em>his heart, </em>and they put it on display for all of you through music. If any of you have been living under a rock for the past thirty years, let me fill you in.”</p><p>The crowd laughed politely, and Gabriel paused, smiling.</p><p>“They became huge. Highly respected by the entirety of the music industry, and beloved by people <em>worldwide</em>. And at the forefront of this musical sensation was my dad's best friend, a sécor by the name of Scott Hoying.”</p><p>“And people everywhere started to realize that this world isn’t kind to people like him. And because they were invested in the wellbeing of someone who had become a household name, people woke up.”</p><p>The crowd cheered again.</p><p>“And it is for that reason that <em>my </em>best friend, yes, the one that I met when I was a tiny little thing,” Gabriel laughed with the audience, “will no longer have to worry about what might happen if the criteria to be considered a sécor changes. It’s for that reason that he won’t have to worry about his human rights being taken away. It is for that reason that my best friend can count on the fact that he will be just as safe in this world as I am.”</p><p>“Because today is a very special day. Today is the day that our efforts have finally paid off. Today is the day when Sécor Law has been solidified. Today is the day when the sécor criteria will no longer be allowed to change, solidifying the anti-trafficking law permanently, and most importantly, putting into place a law that holds humans accountable for attacks against sécors, taking each case seriously to determine the cause of attack before jumping to any conclusions.</p><p>“And do you know why these laws are being put into place? It’s because sécors, no matter what percentage of their heritage… from this day forward… sécors are to be considered no less human than you or me. Today, sécor equals human.”</p><p>Gabriel fought back tears. Those words meant more to him than he could explain.</p><p>“This is a day that I’m sure many of us wish our loved ones could see. I know my father wishes that he could share this day with many sécors whom he has had the privilege of knowing. But Dad, all of our protesting, all of our lobbying… our hard work and dedication… we did it for them. Years and years of calling politicians, writing letters, gathering as many beautiful, passionate people as possible, people like all of you. Dad, we did it for Tyler. And Chris. And we did it for Jesse and Bobby, too. We did it for my best friend's father. We did it for all of them.”</p><p>The crowd was screaming in support now, as Gabriel struggled with his words, looking into his father’s eyes, as though the rest of the crowd had disappeared. “We did it for Scott, Dad.”</p><p>Kevin let out a sob, thankful that this day was finally here.</p><p>“And I just thank God that he’s here to see it.”</p><p>Backstage, Lucas turned to the larger sécor next to him, and placed a hand on his shoulder, squeezing him there with a smile plastered to his face.</p><p>Scott smiled back, feeling an overwhelming sense of pride for the young man on stage.</p><p>“Against the odds, he’s here with us, Dad. And we will <em>never</em> find ourselves taking that for granted.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Ugh I can't believe it's over. Thank you for reading and for being invested in this. I really hope you liked the ending.</p><p>Tomorrow, look out for my next story. It will be a five-part Scomark story. Far less... dark, but hopefully entertaining, all the same!</p><p>P.S. I hope that people are being kind to you, particularly on social media. I've been seeing a lot of hate as of late, and I just hope you're all okay and taking care of yourselves. I'm here if any of you need someone to listen. &lt;3 </p><p>Please leave me with your final thoughts on this one, and I hope to see you all in the next story!</p>
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